I arrived by auto in TJ at around 9:00 P.M. on Friday 2/11/05. The lot across the street from CC was full already, so I parked at the lot across the street from Playboy. I walk into AB, determined that enough talent is present, and marched upstairs to see if they have any rooms for the night. Got an affirmative response, so I laid out $35 plus a $5 key deposit. Grabbed one of my two bags from the car (the one with the CD player) and set up shop upstairs. (The prior Friday they told me that no rooms were available)

At 10:00 I reenter AB and am drawn to Paola de Mazatlan, standing at the Southeast corner of Hotties Central like a moth to light. No fischa, hell no conversation. I just say to her “Es 500 pesos OK?” She shakes her head & tells me it will be $60 dollars plus $11 for the room. I counter with “Well, es seis cien pesos OK?. I’m certain she accepted this counter and we head up to my room (#320). But as soon as we get in the room she asks for her fee. I always break the cardinal rule by paying first when requested – Since I am going to pay, why argue? (actually I believe the answer to this question is that holding back the money strongly encourages better service) So I start pulling out cien pesos notes & she tells me that it will be 700 PESOS! Well……. I look at her eyes, then I look at her chest. I wrinkle my brow & look again at her chest and say OK.

She asked if she could take a shower first, and then does. (another AB first for me)
I show her that I have flavored condoms & offer her three different flavors, banana, naranja and cereza. This prompts an offer from her that I initially misunderstood. I thought she was demanding $40 more for a BJ…. I said "NO NO NO, for siete cien pesos there had better be some sucky!" It was then she clarified that the extra $40 was only if I wanted my BJ sin condom! This was the first time I was ever offered unprotected sex. I politely declined Paola’s offer for this “extra service” and we quickly got down to business. She gives a very very good cbj.

I indicated that I wanted our first postion to be with her on top. So she gets in the cowgirl position as I reach for my bottle of astroglide. She waves off the lubricant and instead spits in her hand and begins to lubricate herself with spit. (how many fists can I have with one chica ) I again find myself shaking my head and telling her NO NO NO. I explain that what I am holding is “muy bueno lubricante” She still was not sold on the idea. Fortunately (I thought) it was a brand new bottle, so after I removed the cap and broke the protective seal she relented to try it out. She gave a very energetic cowgirl. When we switched to doggie I was surprised by how soft and flabby her ass felt. It definitely looks better than it feels.

Having my own room means I don’t have to worry about the knock. And with a condom on I can go forever. But I am old and fat, so after 20 minutes of pumping I am usually starting to breathe hard and eager to bring it on home. At this point I look for signs from the chica that she wants to wrap it up, and Paola was giving the signs. If those signs come earlier in a session than I want, I just ignore them.

So she agreed to finish me off by hand. We disengage from doggie and she immediately grabs my STILL COVERED member & begins jerking. I express to her that I want the HJ sin condom with mas lubricante. She grabs the astroglide bottle but indicates that the condom is staying on. Well fuck… If I’m not gonna nut in her pussy with a condom on, I certainly won’t get there with a covered hand job!

After about 5 minutes of her working my slowly shrinking member I tell her that the condom must come off. She communicates to me that if the condom comes off I will have to do the deed myself. Well, I wanted to cum, so that’s what happened next. She laid down next to me and let my extra hand feel her up (but no probing her pussy with my free fingers) as I finished the process.

After my spray she gets up & starts asking for the new bottle of astroglide as a propina. Claims she really needs it since she has no other lubricant but her spit. This put me in a dilemma. I always am generous with my supplies to the girls. I’ve given away a bottle before, and often offer & give up one or two flavored condoms if they were appreciated. But tips are only given for good service – which I usually receive. Paola has placed herself firmly with a double entry on the DO NOT REPEAT list for jerkin me out of an extra 100 pesos and giving a covered hand job. Too bad because she showered after the session too. Good hygine for a jiz sucking cunt.

But she pleaded & pleaded that she needed the astroglide because she is just SOOOOO DRY – so I relented. I knew that I had two already opened smaller bottles in my other bag in the car – so my weekend would not be adversely affected. But fuck… she got the big bottle – 5 ounces – sold at Walmart for a little over $10. Man do I need tuff guy lessons!!! One last thing about Paola…. As she finishes dressing, she informs me that she is new to AB. She said she had been there ONLY TWO WEEKS! Maybe next month she’ll be a virgin again.

So at around 2:30 A.M. I walk on down to AB again. I’m looking for my first Maelena plung. Now I know I should have been there earlier to find Malena. So instead, at the Northeast corner of the West bar I find spinner Alexia de Mexico City. Another no to my 500 peso offer. But yes to 600 pesos. Up in the room I hand her a 200 pesos note & four 100 pesoa notes. She takes it, but explains in broken English that she prefers larger bills. She is really pretty, great face, and nice size tits for that little spinner body of hers. But bad teeth (like I should talk). Both sets (tops & bottom) stick out. Like a lot of buck teeth. Maybe great for opening bottles that lack twist-off caps, but probably the only detraction from her overall looks. Maybe their positioning also helped her to give an excellent cbj.

After another springy cowgirl and some very nice views in doggie – she even kept smiling and keeping eye contact in the headboard mirror - she agreed to the HJ finish and did it without cover. This is a girl with a sweet tooth. She saw a few chocolate candies on the counter & asked if it was OK to have some. I let her take as many as she wanted. Now knowing she liked sweets I pulled $4 cash and a 99 cents only store heartshaped chocolate box from my bag for her propina as well as two more banana treats she probably used before the sun came up.

Got to renew my room for Saturday, 35 more bones. Had another great late morning breakfast at La Esplanada, did some shopping. Hit AB just before 1:00 in the afternoon, and it looked like I had just missed the end of the noon dance show. But after about 15 minutes, at say 1:05 the dancing resumes. Lots of doable dancers. And when one of the dancers is standing alone in front of the East bar after getting dressed…. for like…. 15 seconds, I go up and compliment her dancing. I get the offer to the room right away from Blonde big boobed Crystal. I think she started dancing at 1:15, off the stage at 1:25, and by 1:30 she was up three floors in my room taking 600 pesos. Another decent cbj, but uninspired cowgirl. And she felt so soft in her butt and thighs that doggie also was pretty uninteresting. I was wilting and thinking I could have used some vitamin V help for this one. And I always used to think that a girl just being BLONDE was enough for me. It was at this point that I realized I just gotta stick with spinners to float my boat. Unfortunately I was still in session with Crystal when this epiphany hit. And things were gonna get even worse fast. For my finish it was gonna be covered –again- . And when I requsted it with mas lubricante…. It became another solo job. Who needs to drive 90 miles AND PAY MONEY to do it with their own hand. She didn’t even stay on the bed! After 20 seconds of self abuse she got up and started to get cleaned up. I closed my eyes and thought of someone else to reach mission accomplished. I really can’t blame her. I’m sure she’s really hot for some guys with those blonde big boobie looks. But it turned out that I really wasn’t into her & she could tell.

So as the sun gets low in the late afternoon sky I return to Adelitas. I don’t think there really is any great reason to go anywhere else on a weekend with an available room where you can set the environment with music, heat, supply of clean sheets, food, drink assortment. I wish I could find a girl that wants to drink & get fucked up & wild in the room. But alas I am still looking for this. In the land of apparently plentiful numbers of druggies I have yet to find a girl who even wants one drink in the room after having had rooms previously a pair of days each at Coachilla, Cascades & the Levya. Yeah, I’m definitely doing something wrong here.

And to prove how wrong I can get, as the sun makes its final descent into darkness I descend to the Northeast corner of HC where I find Valerie. I usually ask what city or state a chica is from, but never ask their age (unless they might be too young). In this case it is just the opposite because this girl had a million questions for me once we were up in the room, including my age. That’s why I asked her for her age, which supposedly is 25. Her looks were consistent with that age. She was tall, 5’9” or taller in heels. And built solid, with broad shoulders, like a cartoonish linebacker with a six pack and DD enhanced headlights. I know that I need a spinner, which she was not, but she looked so athletic that I expected I would find little flab on her thighs. She had some blonde streaks in her brunette hair that was parted on one side, and swept over to the other side. I wish I had asked her for hometown, because I’m a little confused trying to identify her from the AB chica review threads. Hell, she seems to match up somewhat with 4 different threads based on some of her physical or behavioral charactistics. She definitely said her name was Valerie in my notes and she works afternoons. But the only two girls close to that name are Valeria (C) de PV who is probably too old, but just had major surgical enhancements. My best guess is that she was Valeria (B)/Stefany (B) de Guadalajara. But frankly she could have even been Vanessa (G) de Guadalajara. Heck its totally different authors on each thread, except for dArtagnan, so maybe after I tell the full story on her, he maybe able to tell me WHO I FAKED AN ORGASM WITH! Yeah, you read that right.

This girl seemed surprised that any monger would hold the key to a room at the Coachilla Hotel. I gave her $60 because her “en pesos” price downstairs was higher. And like I said, she has a fucking million questions: She’s surprised I have so much luggage. She’s surprised I have flavored condoms. Am I married? – no divorced twice. Have I been to the Zona before? – two prior trips (really 5) She looks at two rumpled sheets in the corner, Have you had girls already in this room? – yes, 2 (really 3). She acted real bothered by my answer. Do you like latina’s? – yes, one ex is Hispanic (back to approval). Can I take a shower? –yes Do I always wear a condom? – yes. She inspects the new sheet I spread out-It gets the good housekeeping seal of approval from her. When she emerges from the shower she looks at me sternly: You need to wash YOUR HANDS! – (yes ma’am I think) and do it and scrub them for four or five fucking minutes like I’m about to perform surgery.

Despite the Spanish Inquisition, the sex stuff starts out really good. My fourth good cbj in a row! And her shaved pussy was really exciting in the cowgirl position. She did it slow, so I tried to stimulate her clit – but that was a no go with my (perceived still dirty) oily fingers. In doggie we were going fine, she was moaning & sounding very sexy. I wanted to add mas lubricante, she said “no, we are fine.” Then she decided she didn’t want my music on anymore (the CD had hit a lesser song) and stopped our boinking to go shut it off herself.

THEN thunder struck, from which I never recovered with her.

She craned her head back after we resumed doggie & told me that I MUST be using Viagra…….. I adamantly said NO (which may have been a lie since an hour prior).

I’m not sure….. I may have had pangs of guilt from lying to her so much to avoid perceived confrontation. But I began losing it after this exchange. I did not want to continue with doggie anymore with her and I asked if she would finish me off with a hand job (even though it was a little early for me to move to the finish). She looked at me as I lied down on my back and told me (as if she had me all figured out) you are just lazy! I agreed with her (she did have me figured out).

Well fuck, you know how this trip is going. So naturally she would not let me remove the condom!. And to make matters really worse, she would not put on a generous amount of lubricant (as I like). I have this fuckVing giant raging hardon and she is giving me the most unpleasant horrid handjob from hell. She won’t do what I want. I think I disgust her.

Fuck, I never would have signed up for this!

So out of desperation I decide to fake an orgasm & bring an end to this nightmare. I jerk & twist, breath hard & then give out a gasp of deep satisfaction. I say “oooh, I think I came!” She looks at the dry condom that only held my quickly shrinking dick and said “No Letche?, jou sure? “Yes I think I came, it felt very different than usual, but I think I came” She looks at my wrinkled little man in the wrinkled jacket & says sarcastically “Jah, you cummm” and she rolled her eyes.

Only two minutes later, after her sink clean-up, she starts again with more questions about what just happened. You cum with no letche before? I answered “no, just the opposite – usually mas letche. This time just felt different.” She took her time dressing. As I recall, this last series of Q & A got real repetitive as she suspected I was lying. She left the room after helping herself to four flavored condoms with my OK & I lied down to clear my head & think about what just happened. I must have layed in the bed for well over an hour, until I noticed that the time was now 8:30 P.M.,the very time Alexia said she might get an early start to her Saturday night shift.

I had a built-up nut to still pop. So I went down looking for Alexia, but found a spinner substitute in Crystal de Veracruz (former SG per this site). She said she also was age 25, but looked at least 5 years younger. She is so so small and thin. SHE KEPT HER KNIT BIKINI TOP ON THE WHOLE SESSION. That’s not what I expect from a $60 chica, I would never think to negotiate sin ropa with a girl from AB. But this chica is so flat It was not worth pursuing when initial visual hints, made by me to remove her top, went unaddressed. Cbj was OK, but too short. She tried stopping REAL early, but she stayed at it another minute or two when I requested mas. She was small & snug & I might have even cum in doggie with a raincoat in place...

But I guess I am lazy.

I asked for a finishing handjob and she gladly ended doggie when I asked. And I finally got my second good finishing HJ,sin condom, of the weekend.

That’s how bad it got to at this point. I was OK with con ropa just because I got my desired, finishing greased sin condom HJ. Ugh!

At around midnight I pass Alexia coming up the stairs as I go down to AB. Only 15 minutes later she is having a fischa with me back at the Northeast corner of the West bar. Another 600 pesos full volcanic eruption just the way I like it with Alexia. I the room she said she was worried eating all that chocolate last night would go to her hips.

Next morning at 10:45 A.M. I grab a chick far distant from my dream fuck – Nadia de Mazatlan. Wrong side of 30 – probably past 35. and heavier than I like. But very curvy with what appear to be very big tits. Prominent upper silver cap to one of her front teeth. Abd in the room a very big tattoo on the left side of her back. (I think a Friar/Padre holding a scroll – maybe). She was real good in the room. Always telling me to just relax. Let me play a lot with her clit & was very responsive. When we moved to the finish, about 35 minutes into the session, she let me finger fuck her as I got my beloved HJ. Very cool. She acted like she might have cum – said she now needed a coffee & a cigarette. I gotta bring more of these older gals into my rotation. I’ll definitely pick her up the next time I am there in the morning.

Checked out 5 minutes before noon. Then I made my tips that had been requested all the time by the jiz cleaners. Handed out $7 with most of it going to the desk clerk and the Jiz manager.

I took a SG before hitting the road home. A tiny little young spinner named Rosie who uses the Irma, but was standing about 150 feet North of the Irma’s entrance. I offered Rosie 200 pesos for sin ropa, fucky/sucky, and multiple positions. She indicated that that was too much for too little. But she said that for 200 pesos I could get the sin ropa & fucky/sucky. That sounded good to me, so up to the Hrrrooom we went. Now I probably should have clarified WHAT position I wanted, since my first choice after a so so cbj was cowgirl (which was refused). She wanted mission. We settled on doggie for the lone coitus position. Of course I Feeenished with a hand job. We both laughed when my basketball shot at the trashcan with the condom just missed short. But I think I had the bigger smile and longer laugh! Until at least I gave her a $6 tip.

Wow, great report! Very entertaining, and always fun to read about someone else having fun.

You talk quite a bit about setting the payment with the girl and then kick yourself afterward for not getting the price you wanted or getting fucked over when the price goes up after paying first. A small tip about negotiating in TJ: Don't approach it with "Is 'XXX amount' OK"? I'd guess that 90+% of the time she's going to come back with a higher number, a game to see if you'll pay it. She has nothing to lose by saying this and everything to gain. A slight change in the dynamic of you simply asking her how much gives YOU the opportunity to counter-offer, and gives YOU more of an opportunity to say 'this is what I'm willing to pay, take it or leave it'. This isn't necessarily the world's greatest way to strike a deal with a hooker either, but might work and save you a few bucks over the way you did it before.

Oh, and one other tip that I bet would help you out quite a bit: Either take 10 minutes and learn the numbers in Spanish (6 cien ain't a number!) or conduct the transaction in English, using your fingers, or by SHOWING HER THE MONEY!

Please keep us posted about your ongoing adventures in TJ. Your enthusiasm really shows in your report.

Actually, working on saying the peso amounts in espanol is the one thing I came prepared for, & do, even if it may not have been reflected in my writing on this TR.

Not that I want to disagree with an honored vet like yourself, but starting out by asking the chica "how much" is something that I did a lot of in my first three trips, but I think that approach left me with an undesirable starting point. EVERY AB girl (I go for hotties) had a $60 initial offer, even during the daytime!

And I don't think this strategy would work well at all with SGs, since the attractive spinners (my preference) seem to all start at $20 US with no stated services and only move upward FAST as we discuss my desire for a bj, sin ropa and multiple positions. My earlier experiences using a strategy just like you suggest on SG's always seemed to get a demand on the SG's part for about $40 or more US. On prior trips, where I experienced far more SG transactions, it seemed an initial offer in pesos, by me, with my service preferences laid out, seemed to almost always get me the deal I wanted for 300 pesos, 250 pesos, and even the infrequent acceptance of my initial 200 pesos offer.

Hey Scat,

I also enjoyed reading of your trials and tribulations. Somehow, I rather enjoy this sort of thing better than the stories about the hookers with the hearts of gold, who fall in love with the writer, and leave us all wondering where we went wrong.

I've learned a lot over the years, but I still have a number of bad experiences. I like the way that you're able to just go with the flow, and accept what's happening. That's really the best attitude. You can't be stupid all the time, but you do have to be willing to live and learn.

Thanks for the report!

Scatmandoo,

I appreciate the detailed honest reporting.

Better luck next visit.

Contact Milkman for enrollment in his TUFF GUY courses.

Scatmandoo, nice entertaining trip report. However, I am gonna disagree with Porker. The most important thing you need to learn how to say in Spanish is the word "NO," which is "NO."

Say NO in Spanish to girls who insist on payment up front.
Say NO in Spanish to girls who demand more money than agreed upon.
Especially say NO to the same girls who demand a $10 bottle of lube for a tip after refusing to give you a HJ without a condom.
Say NO to HJ with condoms.
Say NO to to DIY finishes while your employee is dressing to leave before her work is finished.

Remember there is a big bar full of other replacements downstairs. I would speculate that your reputation of being a softie proceeds you and that is why you are getting such crap service. Start sending them back down when they don't agree to money afterwards or to provide the really reasonable services you want, and believe me your rep will change and your experiences will improve.

That brings me to Spanish lesson number two. "Vete" pronounced Baytay. This means "you leave." You say that when the girl demands payment up front or she is talking too damn much and being insulting.

You paid a whore so you could jerk yourself off?? That says all anyone needs to know about TJ.

Scat

I'm sorry to hear about you not so good experience in TJ.

I tend to be a very demanding monger in terms of physical looks and appearance of the chicas (call it shallow, but oh well). I tend to always go for the BEST looking chica available. Now, I am in my mid 30's, not bad looking and Mexican. 80% of the time i tend to have excellent experiences with the chicas but every now and then I get the occasional thinks she's a diva and get a bad not so good experience...don't squeeze my "chichis"...finish!finish!...etc.

I began using the following strategy with good results:
Sit and wait. Time is on your side as you are there for the whole weekend. Let the ladies come to you! I realize the BEST looking ones will NOT approach you, as they are too busy tending to newbbies. But the ones that approach you will normally try to "convince" you to go upstairs by whispering in your ear and telling you what they will do to you. Buy them a drink or two and talk to them. Let them know what you want done. Think quality not quantity. I once had an awasome session with a chica from Veracruz after I had already gone upstairs. I stumble upon this technique by accident actually. I was trying to make some time so I could regain my strenght and the chica took like 15 or 20 min trying to convince me by touching me, licking my ear etc.

One of the best services I ever had, total GFE experience,DFK, BBBJ, ball sucking, the works!! Originally agreed on $40 plus $11...ended up: $11 room, 1 hr, 2 "palos", gave her $70 plus $11 more for the extra inning.

Don't ask me for names of chicas as I make it a point not to remember them. In case I talk in my sleep.

I agree with Mongerx. Learn to say NO!
Dude, you have the room for the night! It's not like you'd be wasting $11 by sending the chica back!

If she wants the $$ upfront, say NO and go get another one. You got the upper hand here, just gotta think with the right head.

Time is on your side really. You have all weekend!

Guys, thanks for all the good advice.

(Message edited by scatmandoo on February 18, 2005)

I'll throw in my 2 centavos.....

By having your own room for the night you gain a HUGE advantage over using the short time rooms.

Any chica you get to your room can be told to leave, and you are not out a dime! No fighting to get a refund from the front desk guy. No hassles. In my experience, over half of the chicas will NOT leave, but will come around. Sometimes that leads to a not so good session, but....

You have the upper hand - especially when it is your room!

I will agree with Porker. It's a Mixican thing - the culture involves give and take. Few Mexicans ever pay the list price - they expect to negotiate. So who ever mentions the first price should expect a counter offer. I too almost always have AB chicas tell me $60. My belief is that whatever price they start with they will accept $10 less.

So if they were telling you $60, I think they would have taken $50. That would have been better than what you ended up paying, no?

I often counter the $60 opening bid with $100. And then add I want at least an hour session. Again, almost always gets accepted.

Just some things to think about....

Keep the reports cumming!!

Another mighty veteran with pricing & negotiating strategy advise. I respect what you say.

I also tried what you suggest a lot on my first three trips. I might have stayed with it... if it had ever worked for me. Unfortunately I let a mere $10 difference in price keep me from enjoying some very nice bodies. Thus the change to the strategy where I try to name my own price.

Obviously both strategies have left me with mixed results.

Driving a hard bargain requires being to able to offer the chica something that she wants. For those of us mongers suffering from FOWG Syndrome, driving the hard bargain can yield the most miserable of results.

FOWG Syn = Fat Old White Guy Syndrome.

Perhaps you need to try some of the mid range (as far as looks) chicas at AB not just the hotties!

Some hotties tend to be a little snobbish and picky (with who they fuck) specially if the place is busy.

Hell, one time a hottie told me that she only normally sees gringos but would make an exception for me...I said "sorry I didn't see your BLUE eyes" and walked away. FUCK that bitch! You are a ho, earn your fucking money!

Anyway Scat try it, you only got $60 to loose!

As a newbie to TJ, not to the hobby or Club Hombre, I completly relate to scatmandoo's experience. The passage of time and the side effects of certain meds common to older farts such as myself, can take a toll. Sometimes all you need is a HJ with a splash on a pretty young girl.

LatinL: part of the attraction of TJ for me is the ability have sex with a real stunner for a relatively low cost. I'm a newbie and very much feel like a kid let loose in a candy shop.

I may soon look to second tier, but probably not just yet. Three sessions out of eight that were lacking is too high a reject rate, but I think I'd rather go the route of better screening instead of sacrificing looks right now - just a matter of preference that could certainly change down the line.

Aren't there stages of maturing as a monger?

Scat

You're right! It's very hard not to go with the stunners, specially at $60! Compared to the US that's a bargain. I too have had not so great experiences with stunners but I just try to keep a good attitude and try and do better next time.

3 out of 8 it's not bad actually if you consider your self diagnosed FOWG Synd.

Happy mongering
LL