I'm feeling guilty since I've learned so much from oldies on boards as I get ready to leave on my second trip to Rio, so here goes my first ever report that hopefully will help and entertain just don't expect me to correct much spelling this late at night.

Round 1 Conscience and Health

I've given this post some thought given the real concerns about what's happened recently when it comes to our individual privacy, but I'll still try to be honest here because I've met some great people who've trusted me.

I flew into San Jose, CR about two years ago and other than condoms and some health knowledge really knew nothing about this great contact sport. My experience there was minimal, expensive, and quite frankly not worth the money while the surfing was great and snorkeling horrible. Then I ended up in Rio last May and found great women, an interesting culture, and fun country.

I've had some time to think about mongering especially after my little duct tape incident in Buzios and heated discussions on the boards. I don't see how liking women first and sex second makes me a pervert in any way. However it isn't exactly something that would be accepted at work, home or in the society that I live.

I accept those very real moral dangers, but realize that I am flying blind when it comes to my health.
I can remember a long raging discussion on the TSM board last year that actually provided a lot of info, but still has me wondering how many mongers actually get AIDS or other diseases since nothing is monitored. Is this just a topic that everybody is afraid to discuss as adults regardless of our individual viewpoints or are people just tired of the topic?
I guess I accept that some of the things I do are just plain stupid in my mind, and some things I see others doing are insane,my opinion and I'm entitled to it . The problem is, I don't want to be on the receiving end of another's insanity. But I realize many could classify me as being amongst the insane. Yes I will ALWAYS wear a condom and I probably should use American ones though I've never broken one yet and I'm not hung like a horse. But I just can't exactly give up lunch at the y or all that kissing and sucking of female body parts. Then there's all the necking that Brazilian women are so darn good at. My limited understanding is that body fluids are body fluids, so I'm high risk doing anything fun. Can someone elaborate on well used jacuzzis?

So how do you protect yourself? Skanky or nasty is individual, but I haven't done anything off the Copa beach or street, though I will go see how the HELP crowd looks to me and would like to try escorts this trip.

The famous walk of shame is something I'm going to have to learn to handle and I don't imagine its fun for any woman who has any degree pride either. I'd really prefer a source of women that I could trust more that aren't so high mileage or well circulated, but I haven't figured out where they would come from because a lot of the private stocks are retirees that have already been through literally thousands of bodies and I don't know how they do it.

I'm 51, I've had a great run on Earth, and I'm not afraid of death at this point in my life. But I did watch an uncle and aunt die a miserable slow death from AIDS for 8 years after a routine blood transfusion. I also work with a lot of dancers in one of my jobs and AIDS effects lives in my department dramatically every year. My only hope would be that my 80 something year old parents wouldn't be around to see it or hear about it. My siblings would accept it since they know the nature of my personality and the many risks I've taken in my life. In a way, I'm lucky because other people in my life won't matter if it comes down to something like this. Personally, I prefer to suffer pain and illness alone whether it's a three hour bike climb up a mountain or a nasty case of the flu. Then there's the matter of declining health benefits and coverages. Lastly, I've always been from the Hemingway school of thought when it comes to quality of life. So I've settled and to some rationalized the morality issues for myself but not the health ones of mongering. Brazil just seems a lot safer at this point, but I just need to keep on reading and learning.

Round 2 Getting There

I'll try to write a little later about how I finance my trips because I know there are many of you that are in my financial position. Luckily I have time and I work two jobs to finance trips three times a year and stay away from home. But I travel to travel too so I'll probably come to Brazil once or twice a year as long as I can afford it. I have always been searching from an affordable tropical paradise with good waves, a nice beach, delicious food, great snorkeling, and now it's become really difficult because it has to have gorgeous women like in Brazil. I'll spend a lifetime searching now, though the Philippines where I was born, though I'm caucasian, really has all those things if they could just get stabilized again.
Basically, I search for ways to get to somewhere for under $600 in airfare then the rest I play by ear, so sometimes I'm in real dives or the outcome may be questionable, but I've seen a lot of the world and met great people. The trip budget depends on how much I've earned between trips or I work the second job more to make up what I've overspent. I have a friend who is retiring that hopefully can become a traveling buddy to some degree as he's newly and happily remarried at 62.

My tools are skyauction.com, the internet, frquent flyer programs, word of mouth, travel books, and my last resort is Priceline I always seem to get screwed by it and get nada points. I also have to juggle getting off from two jobs so I usually don't know more than two weeks in advance when or where I'm going. I really thought I was going to have to sneak out into the bushes with the crabs one night on a Tahitian atoll when I flew in on the last flight with no reservationsm last September. If you see someone trying to sleep at the Rio airport on 1/23/04 it means Rio is booked baby and I hope it can be done without a trip to a Brazilian jail, though jail would be a new experience for this old man. Negotiated bribery and fast talking has kept me out of them so far.

The trip to Rio was a bear for me and they need to blow up those stupid monitors that continue to show you just how far you haven't gone down this shockingly large continent. I'm going the long way this trip, LA-JFK-GIG, with a 7 hour layover at JFK because I gambled to save $100 and lost on Priceline. Does anyone know where I can get a gooood massage when I get to Rio Friday around 3PM that isn't shiatsu because it's just too painful form me.

We circled SP for 1 1/2 and they were getting ready to divert us, not to Rio, before the pilot gave it a go. I spent 12 years crewing airplanes in the Air Force, but I still don't like playing guess where we're going to land. So you will spend some time on the ground there, and they'll come through the plane making sure EVERY piece of luggage belongs to someone. There was one on ours that lost its owner, so they wouldn't touch it because it might go boom. The whole world is scared bcause some idiots were able to pull off a low tech catastrophe, while we try to do the impossible with high tech solutions that don't address the real problems.

Would they let US off the plane though---NOOOOAH!! We were terrorists by association, sort of like anyone with Arab like skin or Brazilians entering the US now. By the time we left there the fog cleared, and SP was amazing from the air. It remined me of the huge military graveyards in Italy or France with all those skyscrapers poking majestically into the sky as far as your eyes could see across the rolling landscape. Note to self, SP can be cold as well as more expensive than Rio.

I think I'm hearing on this board that airline delays and problems at Rio are common which has me a little worried for my return home this time. Has anyone had any experience with a Priceline ticket when you've missed your flight, don't laugh it will happen to you sooner or later. I've done the $100 bit though Rio is the first place in a long time where I haven't been able to charm my way out of it. Maybe too many Americanos are missing their planes these days. I'm supposed to be at two jobs Monday.

I arrived at Rio and couldn't hook up with anybody from the plane despite a young single US moron who was going to Ipanema like me. I had a great converation with a young Brazilian computer tech from SP on the way down, but I do you spot a monger on the plane? Answer, you look for the faces you recognize when you leave. Question: Is a departure tax ever collected in cash like other countries or is it always hidden in your ticket? Domestic flights too?

When I came out it was a zoo, and the money exchanges at IAH and GIG had both been closed, so I went to the desk that seemed most official. I had to use a credit card because I didn't want to use my limited dollars before I tried my auto teller card in country. I had a bad experience with that in Fiji and almost didn't get out of the country despite having no cold cash yet a warm ticket in my hand. It also created some trauma later when I lost that card, my main one, for two days and could not get ahold of VISA. I found it in a pair of jeans that I was taking to the laundry. I'd put it there because I didn't want to open my money holder in the shoulder to shoulder crowd again. Lesson 1, have money in pocket before exiting customs, paying by credit card at the airport was stupid, and have three pieces of plastic with you because this is a cash or plastic county.
Lesson 2 Carry emergency phone cards and numbers for everything. Question: What's the keystroke or command for switching the computer to English because I wasted a lot of expensive minutes trying to get someone to show me. Tahiti has the European keyboard and there's a keystroke that's worth knowing because they won't know it in the boonies. The advice to always carry the addresses of Bobby's office, your hotels or common destinations written on a piece of paper is golden because I've never seen so many drivers who have such a hard time finding places. It's a huge city with a lot of people and addresses. I've got the names of a couple good drivers who speak English that I intend to use some this trip for tours and when I plan things ahead to do things. Watch the driver with the blue Volvo station wagon that the Arpoador likes to use because he's expensive, can be rude, and spoiled by all the business they give him. The guy who does a lot of airport shuttles and tours for them with the white car was very good and there isn't a taxi stand close to there so it takes a few minutes. While waiting for them realize you're also standing in a busy bike lane which is something to watch out for if you're not a cyclist or around beach bike and pedestrian lanes much.

Round 3 Where to Stay

This part was easy, Booby and Company got me the only thing left at the Apoador. Great location for me because surfing, laundry, cafe, grocery store, great clean locals beach, and the fruit/vegetable market on Sat. or Hippie Fair on Sun. (crafts for all, music, and good artwork of all sizes and types) was within walking distance. A bunch of surfboard/bodyboard sales and rental shops were just down the street. Bags are a good buy but they only sell boards under 42". I can't remember how I ran into Bwana, but he eventually got tired of me showing up and let me tag along behind him like the lost puppy that I was. I had one of those window rooms by the street so it gets pretty noisy when the buses and cars are reverberating off the apartment buildings. It was small and had to small narrow beds, but clean and the price was right with free breakfast. You really need the Bwana dik suite here, oceanview or whatever, and he gets a double bed mattress put on two single beds if his room isn't set up as a love nest. Don't forget that the a/c is turned on at the desk at some hotels or with a remote that looks like it belongs to the television. I guess those can disappear with a guest particularly if she thinks its a cell phone.

The staff was a little cold and played dumb a lot but they took no amount of grief from a lot of very hostile and disappointed mongers while I was there so I can't say I blamed them. They also charged me a service fee at the end that was about US 100 though I see now on the website it is supposed to be optional??? Anybody know???? I'd stay there again if I could get an oceanview room because it was all about the right location, Ipanema, for me. Taking taxis to get to the office got to be a drag, especially with the small change shortage, so I ended up walking over to Copa most of the time, sometimes at dusk which wasn't too smart I guess. When I returned I walked into thr Princess Copa by Bobby and got an awesome suite and its a great location, but expensive about $95.

Round 4 Buzios

Funny, but from talking to people and reading posts you're either going to like Buzios or be very disappointed with it. I went down for three days and did about everything I could but never went to town at night.

I should have gone with a guy that I'd met at Lumo who went a couple of days earlier. Don tried to set me up with Taisha?? But I was really on limited funds, uneasy about taking a girl I'd never met or slept with, and couldn't talk to on a questionable unknown vacation spot. I thought I'd made a good choice, though I was bored at night, until one of Bwana's friends showed up for the weekend with this young thing who was busting out of her yellow bikini top.

I'd made a sudden decison to leave late one afternoon because I was getting tired of my little room and wanted to see more of Brazil. Bobby's office got me a room at the Colana Park and told me to take a taxi to the bus station where I could get tickets upastairs for the a/c express bus to Buzios.
The trip to the station as interesting because you go through an areas of town that are like a Fellini movie. It was pretty scary even for me, especially since I didn't have a clue where I was supposed to be going, but I'd never had a taxi driver screw me yet in Brazil. The station was the biggest bus station I've ever seen (60+ buses?) and a teaming mass of humanity much like Fiji, Africa, or Asia. There were a lot of police around but the driver warned me to go around the corner from the taxi stand straight into the station. Took the the flight of stairs to the left and remembered I'd been told to cross from one building to the other. There was a slight problem, there were several buildings and probably 40 odd places I could buy a ticket, so I wandered around a bit until I spotted a bus downstairs that said Buzios. Problem no. 2, the kind man at the top of the stairs would not let me go to said bus despite me offering cold cash to buy tickets like people streaming past me. I was having a major communication problem, until an old lady took me by the hand and lead me to Mr. Security man. He made no bones that I was to go with him immediately, not good, and I hate bribing policeman. It all goes back to a TJ motorcycle cop who took my last $20 after hearing my sob night desert robbery story and being shown my missing spare and empty truck. He of course pulled me over for going through that missing stop sign 10 streets back there in TJ somewhere.

Well, he takes me to a different bunch of ticket booths that seem to have a number of buses going to Buzios with other places too. No one understands me so gringo decides to take the bus that says express and lists Buzios last. By the way, the correct booths are all the way to the end upstairs back by all the food places, and to the right. (That was go left into station, right upstairs, left across the walkway to the end, right to the booths, and watch for the sign that shows the bus you want on the right.) When I start back there's a new security man with a radio looking for me, He walked dumb tourismo back to the bus ramp so I wouldn't bother them anymore, nice policemen those guys!

The station is all behind high fences and is an impressive operation because buses of all prices and types leave for all over Brazil. I'd take a bus and even on overnight one in a second. They're very professional, but don't mess with their individual routines and act like all the other sheep. I was a little worried when I counted more heads than could fit on the one bus sitting there but other buses came and went. Man A loads bus when he feels like it and gives you a ticket for each bag, though this was a concern as manyn people got off at many stops through the trip. Man B wanders over and collects part of your ticket when he feels like it. Luck at your stub dummy, and sit in your assigned seat because people getting on the bus don't like finding you in their window seat. It took me awhile to figure that one out.

Guess what, it was rushhour in Rio so we sat a lot as it begin to get dark. When we made it across that beautiful bay that is so badly polluted now with oil and chemicals we had another stop in a poor downtown neighborhood and the driver bought his first little cup of the Brazilian version of Red Bull (forgot what it's called).
I saw a naked man bathing himself in the oil with rags and littler kids fishing beside him. I hadn't seen this degree of poverty since India.

The trip eventually takes you into beautiful green rolling hills that make you realize the expanse of this country. Halfway there you'll stop a a futuristic designed reststop complete with starwars type security guards wearing headsets. Inside will be very clean restrooms, restaurants, and interestring shops, but hurry if you want to sit and eat. as we approached the sanddunes in the moonlight I begin to see a lot of different signs with Buzios on them and people began getting off at posadas and beside the road.

Buzios is a VERY large beach area with many little beach places and I'm going to Colona Park Hotel which no one seems to have heard of in my very bad Spanish. I decide to ride it to the end as it is now 10PM. Yours truly has a backpack and heavy bodyboard bag to haul off into the bushes or dunes to sleep with tonight without getting robbed. Then we hit a construction delay, four people are left on the bus, and it occurs to me that I may be wandering around lost in the dark because there will be no taxis this time of night. Then again there are no Buzios or hotel signs anymore either, just very populated areas with a lot of men drinking at little stands so perhaps we're on our way to Salvador now, what a bagain my $12 was.

Then the bus stops at a little roadside bus stand and everyone gets up. As I step into the night a horde of teenagers come after me with little boards trying to get me to go to their place, but suddenly a teenager approaches and says that wonderful word taxi! We discuss a price though he was the only car in sight, and off we go into the night. Up steep hills, through the tall grass and out in boonieville we go as his jalopy grunts up each hill as I decide what my final words will be as I'm murdered at midnight.

The night clerk was waiting for me and he spoke English. There is also and older female manger during the day who speaks English, but you need to get all your plans and tours made with the midshift guy on the days that he's on. It was a very nice old Moorish style hotel sert on the cliffside with two sandy coves on each side of it. The rooms were nice and the views were great on the verandas. The restaurant was closed when I was there but there were huge buffets with a great pastry selection. It is a hassle to eat at their limited times and yoiu have to rush if you want to make any of the tours in the AM. It also caters to a lot of wealthy Argentinian families and older people that dress up for meals so I wasn't very comfortable there. I'd stay at the other nice hotel across the street from it or in town if you want to party and don't care about the beach.

You can rent cars or dune buggies to runaround in but make you you have an international license because their a police traffic stops that can be pretty thorough. I chose to hire a taxi to take me on a tour of the area for $15 for most of the day. Then I took a group tour (9 people) with a lady who has a VW van and speaks English because she once moved to America with someone like Layne who fell in love with her. You stop at a beach, take a small fishing boat out on a pretty trip through some bays and into the open ocean swells. We saw a whale and the famous monkeheady rock that really looks like Nixon, before we landed on a very pretty white sandy beach. You can climb up the dunes to a huge tree that's fun to crawl up into for the view, slide down the dunes on plastic sleds, swim in cold water, or just lay on the beach for several hours. The sand has the consistency of flour and it will go everywhere which created major stress for me the next day. The snorkeling is murky with just a few little fish and turltes to look at and I wouldn't waste my money diving either anywhere in the Buzios area. There is a larger tour group picked up by an airport type bus that goes on a large schooner, but if you don't have a ticket don't get on that bus. They get pissed when they have to bring you back up the hill to your hotel even they told you to get on their bus and said the name of the place you were going.

Later you'll stop at a good buffet for lunch and the lady bought me lunch for some odd reason, though the restaurant made everyone pay. There's a stop at a small mall for tourist junk but 75% of the shops are for bikinis. Then you'll end up at the pretty end of the beach in Cabo Frio where you can kick back and have a drink or get some food. I ran down the beach and bodysurfed for 1 1/2 hours instead. The beach at Cabo stretches for miles and you can get away from people to. There also was a place to rent some very funky surfboards and it wouldn't be a bad wave to learn to surf on either between tides. I also saw my first 300+ lb women in a string bikini there emerging from the ocean depths in little wet clinging strips of cloth. Why can I see that image and not the great ass of the young expensive thing in Centaurus?

The next morning I woke up with little red blisters all over my plumbing and crotch. I almost had a heart attack, and I considered many solutions sort of jumping of the cliff outside my balconey to solve my new found health problem. I also realized that any further sexual activity would be hard to come by even in a dark room. My trip was ruined and I was dead meat when I got home. What had I done to my life just to get laid by two pretty little things? I'd wanted to save the last couple of days for wild sex with multiple women, doing things like duplas, anal sex and all those nasty or forbidden things that all those posters wrote about, but I was finito! Should I ask the the hotel for a doctor immediately or rush back to Booby pleading for help and enlightenment? Folks, this was a time for serious contemplation on the dangers of mongering that later kept me from taking a girl from Franks that I really liked.

Funny how your life can change though.

I'm owned my johson for a long time now and he generally does what I want him to do, but I hadn't spent much time with him since Junior High. I'd never really spent much time checking him out either and I wasn't quite sure was normal and adnormal for him either, given his increased activity. So I crawled up on the sink, stood up, and got to know him better. I also remembered that the rough mesh in my Fijian board shorts had caused problems for me before. Then there was the issue of all the fine sand I removed from all my orifices in the shower the night before. Yipes, was I going to live after all? I decided that there was a 50:50 chance of that so why waste the day. Problem 2, I couldn't wear anything and going commando hurt like the dickens. Solution: Took the the roll of duct tape I always carry with me to fix surfing things and taped that sucker right up twice! I spent the rest of the day at the beach, swimming, and walking around town, but that's why I didn't dare sample the night life. I also considered saying 13 Hail Marys to speed the healing process or give me divine guidance on just what I had happening down there. Her comes the important part: YOUR PENIS IS VERY HAIRY AND EXTEREMELY SENSITIVE, ESPECIALLY UNDERNEATHE!!!!

When removing a good duct tape job from it you will experience great pain that will educate you from the rest of your life. I've hurt myself in many ways but if you really want some fun duct tape your drunk friend's penis some night! Sorry, but I'm over that because I've worked with severely disabled people for many years.

Anywho, it cleared up the next day and I was able to return to duty in Rio. I took a little mini-bus service back that was really nice and about $20 more. That's really the way to go if you aren' with a group of people because it picks you up and drops you off right in front of your hotel which saves time and four taxi rides. You will wander around the hills picking up people from hotels though, consider it a free tour of the neighborhood.

Round Five The End

The rest of the trip went as most stories go and I really appreciate how low key and helpful everyone was. I just read Laynes first report and can't believe how far his come in such a short time in language, love or is it lust, and experience. I notice that a certain person's pictures are goine too! First trip and I missed my plane, because I lost track of all time, But I got to the airport a day EARLY and just packed it in at that point.

I have to be honest, if I was young or in a different situation, I would come to Brazil to find a soulmate, but probably within 10 years of my age and with some education. I also don't know how some of you do so much though I'm going to perform a few experiments this time. Any advice on health issues and performance issues would be appreciated and I hope to get through JFK this week to meet new guys, old ones, and of course those marvelous Brazilian women!

DUCT TAPE! Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Short of glueing your dick to your groin, I can't think of a more impractical solution for a rash. What would you have done if you'd had a discharge from your Johnson, inject 409 up your urethra with one of those gizmos they use to clean wheel covers at the car wash?

May I gently suggest that if this happens again, try the "Physicians" heading in the yellow pages and find a dick doc.

There is an upside of sorts, I guess. You are now famous. I doubt any Hombre who reads your post will EVER be able to pick up a roll of duct tape again without thinking of you.

Gosh
Theres a lot in your piece that reminds me of my travels
I could write a report on just answering this report, oh ok i will,
I have missed planes at Heathrow and tel aviv,
My penise fattend out because a woman jerked it to hard,
I will stop here, lol
great report

I'm not sure if your yanking my chain about the duct tape or not (I hope so!), but great report.

I would suggest reading up on STDs to know what to really worry 'bout and next time sometime causes anxiety (your real health issue in Rio), go see a doc.

I think it's time to get some new surfing gear and throw away those Fijan crotch graters.

Maybe we could start a separte thread on the joys of duct tape. I cannot wait to read those stories.

OH

Why1952,
Too much! I'd begun to wonder if I'd hear from you again.
Ouch!
Hope we see one another again soon and kick those guys' asses at the outside break at Arpoador.
Bwana

That had to hurt. Next time I buy a roll of duct tape, I will know what not to do with it.

Thanks for a good report.

Speaking of dicks and duct tape.........

This woman is sitting in a restaurant and she notices that every single waiter is carrying a spoon in their pocket. Curious, she asks her's what the story is. He replies that studies have shown that the most frequently dropped piece of silverware at a restaurant is a spoon. The owner decided that to save time he would have every waiter carry an extra spoon in his pocket.

A bit later the women notices that all of the waiters also have a piece of string dangling from their other pocket. Curious again, she asks her waiter for the reason. This time the story is that the owner decided that if the men could attach one end of the string to their dicks then they could use the string to pull their dicks out when they wanted to take a leak. Since they wouldn't be touching their dicks they could skip washing their hands and thereby speed things up.

The women thought for a second or so and then aksed the obvious question. Maybe you could use the string to pull your dick out but what about putting it back in afterwards?
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That's another reason to carry around the extra spoon.

Hey, it's not duct tape but it's close enough.

LOL

Sorry for all the spelling mistakes guys but I've been working a lot of hours lately. Hey, I did enjoy your responses and here's a couple fired back at you:

1. Bwana I will look for you and if you see Bobby, ask him to answer my email sent two days ago because I really don't want to sleep with any American Airlines pilots who are missing their middle fingers. I was hoping that the bad weather would hang around JFK until Thursday so I could get rerouted. Someone at work tonight thought they have sleeping rooms and showers at JFK like Honolulu, and he even said he got a voucher for one at LAX once. Where's it at--international????

2. SF Hombre, for the record it wasn't just a rash for at least an hour there, and here are some other remedies that worked for the moment and seemed like a gooood idea at the time. Some actually work pretty well. Pack sand into very bad foot wound from big stringray but pour in the vinegar first to kill some of the intense pain that comes from big tails. It will hurt a lot when the doc picks out every piece of sand eventually but it will stop heavy bleeding quickly. It's hard to boil a lot of hot water
and keep it hot to decrease the pain when you're alone in Baja. One of the best drugs you can carry for any cut and especially from sea creatures that are covered with a slimey nasty mess is sulfa. Then again just pee on your wound if it's from a sea urchin or stepping on any stafish that has thorns. If your the type that suffers heart attacks from any of the above no worries for you!

3. Forgot who suggested the duct tape thread, but it might be a great idea. I started thinking that I've taped up cut body parts from the reef ( sharks tend to swim under and around you offshore and blood makes them act friendly, blistered feet or hands, kills off planters warts on feet or decreases their size ( no oxygen I'm told), numerous uses in fixing gear and car parts, and god knows what else my feble mind has forgotten. SF Hombre, you just have to think more creatively rather than try to analyze the whys of life. Duct tape is my best friend.

4. No, this was a true story that ranked up there with getting your johson zipped into all the little parts of your flightsuit zipper during an alert . Anyone who's ever lived in a flight suit can tell you great extraction stories.

5. Yes, I was being cheap but the Fijian suit has been replaced by two REI specials with the softest of linings

6. I did try soaking my johnson in hot water to loosen the duct tape but I had bought the good stuff.

7. I am not suggesting that you do what my old male Shitzu does, but I am dead serious about checking out the geography, topography, and extreme sensitivity of your southern poleeeer region. I guess that's why all the women did the mirror thing in the 70s.

8. Thanks 310, I will call from 714 but what time of day or night is good?

Why1952. I can see the inherent wisdom of your words and am immediately adding both duct tape and sulfa to my Brazil gig bag. I am already thinking about how duct tape can assist me in reducing the likelihood that my "wife" there will not fuck other guys. You are a genius.

SF Hombre,
now there's an experiment to try with a drunk garota with an attitude, especially if she hasn't shaved. I grew up in the PI and don't know much about Brazilian "wives" yet, but don't come back for a couple of months if she tries to remove the duct tape. On the other hand, tell her you're putting it on just to make her think before sex with another guy and explain that the other guy must be the one to remove said tape. It makes me smile to think about it, but what did you say your "wife's" name was again? I also learned a new word from this exchange, you would be wiving me by doing this kind deed.

How about the old "Chastity Belt".

If you every saw one of those Marilyn Chambers movies, she had her cunt lips pierced, and a small lock on them. Could be like jewlery, and you have the key.

OK

With Brasiliera favoritas, you need a lot of duct tape to cover all the potential holes they will use in the art of lovemaking. Bring two rolls instead of one is my advice.

Why1952

She made me promise that I wouldn't tell her name (under threat of duct taping). But when you go to a terma, tell them you are looking for "PEE-roo" and you'll have the time of your life...

So what does "PEE-roo" mean SF_Hombre?

OH

Ummmm....either dick or turkey depending on how well you pronounce it.

Geeez SF Hombre, if SF stands for where I think it is you're scaring me! Are you telling me they have what we called Billy Boys in the PI in thermas? If so I'll be the one sporting duct tape on my ass running around the termas.

I have yet to see a TV in a terma . They are not uncommon in Help disco.

I have run across garotas in Termas who, though otherwise MOST definitely feminine, had a button the diameter of a AA (not the smaller AAA) battery. Some of these also had a voice a half-register lower.

Incidentally, many Rio girls also dispense with shaving their legs, preferring instead to have the hair bleached. There are Brasilian guys on the beach who earn their living rubbing down these garotas with a white bleaching cream, then rinsing the cream off a short while later. Tough work, eh? The result is that from a distance you don't see the hair, and when you touch it, it is soft and downy.

Up until recently there was a blond programma girl who worked at Terma 4x4 who was known for the amount of hair on her butt and legs. She seemingly delighted in standing on the low stage there where the spotlights would make her fur most visible. Since I have a rule that I never do a girl who has more hair on her body than I do, I was never even close to whisking her off to a cabine.

So, Why1952, if we see you sporting duct tape on your butt in a Terma, we will not assume you are worried about being gender violated. More likely you will be trailing the duct tape because you needed to nut, also had a lower GI problem, and were tying to avoid an embarassing accident while trying to quietly pass a little gas in a crowded boite.

Torture will never get the name(s) from me of those who actually had such a problem on their Rio trip and wished at the time they had some duct tape, but THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE...

SF Hombre, I finally got off jury duty this PM and wished you were headed RIO way in the AM too because it would have been fun to meet you. I'll have to ask Bwana man about you. I'm sporting blue duct tape this trip.

Why1952, were you staying in an apt on Djalma Ulrich?
I found a roll of ductape there and used it for all kinds of things...