Wallstreet in Medellin: Guard-rails? We Don’t Need No Stinking Guard-rails!

As I really didn’t break any new ground, this is going to be a very abbreviated report, but as I stayed at another hotel and ventured quite far outside of Medellin, I wanted to share that info in a report.

As soon as I returned from my July trip, I booked my return. Although I’m a big fan of Continental, I found the airport in Bogotá to be a horror show. It’s very disorganized and it took me almost two hours to clear immigration on the way out. So I booked Continental from Newark to Miami ($250) and then Avianca from Miami to Medellin ($350).

I then booked the Presidential Suite at the El Poblado Plaza in Medellin @ $140 per night. www.pobladoplaza.com.

My flight into Miami was nearly empty, as Hurricane Frances was due to hit the next day. I arrived with 3 hours to kill before my flight to Medellin and immediately went to the other side of the airport to Terminal G to check-in at Avianca. I was really dreading the check-in as I had to status with Avianca. The line moved surprisingly fast and was VERY organized. They had different lines for different destinations and an agent walked around making sure everyone was in the correct line. It took about 30 minutes to check-in and I was able to score an aisle seat. I know the flight is only 3 hours, but I like to be as comfortable as possible.

I know had a little over 2 hours to kill so I walked back across the terminal and had lunch at Chili's. Boneless Buffalo wings and 3 margaritas made me very happy. Then a guy next to me was saying it was taking 2 hours to clear security at some gates. I looked at my watch and it was 2:30 - my flight was leaving at 4pm. I raced back to Terminal G. I passed the American terminal (C I think) and it was a madhouse. It looked like people fleeing the American Embassy during the fall of Saigon.

And now the Avianca check-in lines were out of control. My advice to anyone using Avianca with no status: get to the airport real early, check-in and then have some lunch.

Or maybe the impending hurricane was having an effect, but I think their planes go out full and EVERYONE has 2 big suitcases.

I raced up the escalators as was \happy to find a manageable line. It "only" took an hour to clear and I was at the gate at just before take-off. I made a couple of phone calls and talked briefly with JKarp who was passing through. I wanted to meet him for a drink, but that wasn't going to happen today.

The flight took off 30 minutes late - not too bad. The plane was packed but the flight was without incident. We arrived in Medellin and the immigration/customs process was a sight to behold. I cleared immigration in less than 5 minutes - many agents were working and as I had no checked luggage, all I had to do was put my bag through an x-ray machine (a little weird considering I was EXITING the airport) and I was hand-searched by a fatigue-wearing army official - again odd considering I just got OFF a plane and was EXITING the airport. But it was less than 10 minutes from the plane to the curb - for me a record. I don't know how the other Colombian regional airports work, but Medellin puts Bogotá to shame. In all fairness they handle a lot more people, but I would avoid Bogotá at all costs. And it's MUCH worse leaving!

I was greeted outside by Tatiana from my last trip and Luis the taxi driver. The ride into Medellin was quick and I was checking into the El Poblado Plaza 35 minutes later. Right away I was more impressed with the PP than the Dann Carlton. Check-in was a breeze and I was very pleased with the suite. Nice living room with desk and internet access, good sized dining room and then a small room with a toilet, sink and minibar. The bedroom was a good size with a great view of the mountains in the background and the Oviedo Mall in the foreground.

The hotel is next to the Doctora Restaurant, one of my favorites from the last trip. The PP's location is superb in my opinion and I highly recommend it for the first time visitor to Medellin. They have long stay rates @ $45 per night on 11 nights or more and the weekend is $55 per night for a regular room. For me breakfast was included and it was really nice - a buffet set up outside. Having breakfast outdoors was a great way to start the day and I saw my first hummingbird one morning buzzing about the flowers.

We unpacked and went next door to Doctora and had a great meal as usual. I highly recommend this restaurant and it's easy to find. It's on Cra. 43 right next to the Poblado Plaza Hotel.






The next day I decided to be adventurous and rented a car. The hotel concierge called Hertz and I had a stick-shift Renault piece of crap delivered to the hotel in under an hour. The daily rental was $54, including everything.

The plan was to go to Santa Fe de Antioquia, the oldest settled town in Colombia, 50 miles northwest of Medellin. The hotel had no map and neither did the car's glove compartment, so we decided to wing it.

We would stop every 10 minutes or so for directions and then alter the course. About an hour into the trip it seemed like we were on the right track and we passed through some very poor barrios. There were also mountain sized-speed bumps every 100 yards or so to negotiate. We pulled into a gas station and filled up - gas is about $3 a gallon - and got more directions. An hour later we were still in Medellin - I was learning the hard way how spread out it was. It was now late afternoon and I decided to head back. My adventure streak didn't include being lost in the dark in Colombia - being lost was strictly a daytime affair.

We followed the signs back to Poblado, getting lost several times along the way. We had an early dinner and went back to the hotel. Can't remember what else we did besides enjoy each others company.

On Saturday I had them pick the car up and decided to do something more local. We took a cab up to the El Tesoro mall and did some shopping. We then went to a perfume store in the mall called La Riviera that had a spa in the back. We each had a 2 hour massage and exfoliating session, reasonably priced at 80,000p each ($32).




We then had another great meal at Doctora and went back to the hotel. Later that evening we hit Mango's Disco - the place was just as good as the last time with incredible-looking girls all over the place. We killed a second bottle of whiskey at 2:00am. The place isn't cheap - it'll cost you $100 for the evening for 2, but it was great fun both times I was there.

On Sunday we got up late and I decided to give Sante Fe de Antiquia one more try. There was no one at the concierge desk, but I saw a card for Easy Car Rental in the hotel lobby and I gave them a call. To my surprise they said they were open and could rent me a car. We took a cab to the office, and the very friendly owner filled out the paperwork and rented me a nice Chevy Blazer for $100 inclusive of everything.

I asked for directions and a map to Santa Fe and the guy couldn't come up with a map. He said it was very difficult to explain how to get there, but we could follow him and he would put us on the right road. Incredibly, he closed he shop, got in his car and we followed him through Medellin. A full 30 minutes later he signaled us to turn and I saw a sign that said Sante Fe de Antioquia.

It took almost 3 hours to make the trip. It was an endless twisting and winding road up and down mountains. The scenery was incredible. Luckily there weren't many cars on the narrow roads, but when there was, they had no problem passing me on a curve without being able to see oncoming traffic until the last second. And to top it off there were virtually no guard-rails anywhere along the road. If you veered a little too far to the right, you were headed straight down to an untimely demise.




We stopped several times along the way to take photos and have snacks. At one roadside stand we each had an empanada with a scallion salsa and a beverage each - total price was 1,300P - a little over 50 cents! Things get cheap away from the city.




We made it to Sante Fe de Antioquia at about 4:30pm. Frankly I was disappointed. I don't know what I was expecting, but being accosted by touts before even getting out of the car was not one of them. Of course driving a big-ass Chevy Blazer probably set off the touts' alarm for miles.





We walked around the town square, had a great sweet arepa and headed back to the car. I wanted to be back down the mountain before nightfall. We got back on the road and were making pretty good time but at 6:00pm it was like someone threw a light-switch - it got dark real fast.

Tatiana suggested maybe we should stay in one of the small towns overnight and head back to Medellin early the next morning. I would have done that, but my flight to Miami was leaving at 10:00am and if we left at first light we'd be cutting it awful close. So I filled up the tank and headed onto the road.

The darkness was a double-edged sword - I find it harder to drive at night, but at least you could see if cars were coming the other way. I just followed behind a car and kept a safe distance. Incredibly, cars were constantly passing me - but I was content with the slow and steady course.

Eventually we stopped going up and started the descent, so I knew we were halfway home. The rest of the trip went smoothly until we were almost at the bottom of the mountain. We passed a bad accident: two motorcycles were on the ground and several men were loading a body into a pickup truck. Frankly I’m surprised that was the first accident I had seen all day.

30 minutes later we were back at the hotel and started to pack. I left the keys to the Blazer with reception; they would give it to the Easy Car Rental guy in the morning. We decided to stay in that night and went to sleep around midnight.

I woke up at 7am, went downstairs and settled the bill. Then we took off for the airport. It took about 35 minutes and I was at the Avianca counter at 8:15am. I stood on the short line and a guard approached me and asked if I had the exemption, something I again totally forgot about. I didn’t and he walked me over to the clerk and then to another agent to pay the exit fee. The whole process took 2 minutes, a far cry from the chaos in Bogotá. I went back on line and was checked in 10 minutes later. Avianca only has one flight at that time of the morning, so check-in is a breeze.

I said goodbye to Tatiana, with whom I had another incredible time. I’m looking forward to seeing her again.

I then went through immigration and as disorganized as it was in Bogotá, that’s how well-run it was in Medellin. Granted, there was only one outgoing flight, but they had three agents on duty and then opened a fourth to speed things along. This process took 5 minutes, as opposed to 90 minutes in Bogotá. Again, I highly recommend avoiding Bogotá if at all possible.

The trip to Miami was uneventful, except there was a problem with the in-flight movies audio, so they decided to blast it over the loudspeakers. Everyone was going to sit through the Spanish version of The Stepford Wives whether they wanted to or not.

Three hours later I was in Miami and it took 10 minutes to clear immigration and customs. And this was a holiday, Labor Day. Newark and JFK could learn a lesson from these guys.

An hour later I was on the CO flight to Newark, CO once again upgrading me. I really like that airline. And then I was home.

I had a great time and highly recommend Medellin. It’s a great city with great food and weather (although it rained a little on this trip) and the people are super friendly. And I feel just as safe there as I do in my own backyard.

Sorry about the lack of photos and details as per usual. But it just wanted to chill on this trip and that’s what I did.

Great info WS and it sounds like you had a very enjoyable and relaxing time. Glad to see that you found a good hotel, I'll have to make a note of it for future reference.

You're much braver than I regarding the trip outside the city. I assume MDE is different and you researched the safety issue, but in Cali, everyone warns against tourists going outside the city proper. But flying into Cali or CTG, I could tell the countryside was just pristine and very beautiful. I'm hoping someday the whole country will open up for adverturing.

I usually don't like to drive and did it once in Costa Rica where the streets were like mazes and the drivers were crazier than anywhere except Phnom Penh (lots of tailgating, risky passing a car up, and some don't bother to turn on their headlights). Those drivers in Central America are flat out crazy.

Anyway, thanks for a great TR.

WS-- did I count correctly?

tourist pics=20
girlie pics=0
body count=1

You better get back to SEA before you turn into...

-DM

Merl,

Thanks for the compliments. I actually threw caution to the wind and just decided to rent a car - didn't research whether there were any rebel camps between Medellin and Sante Fe.

The only "glitch" was the lack of maps. And when I inquired at the concierge desk and they heard I was going to Sante Fe, they said they had to call Hertz to make sure that was "allowed". 10 minutes later they still couldn't locate anyone at Hertz, so I told them not to worry, I was just going to the mall.

I asked Tatiana if I needed special papers to go outside Medellin and she said as long as you have Pesos, you can go anywhere you want. That's the answer I wanted to hear.

DM,

Actually I have a lot more tourist pictures, just didn't bother putting them in the report. I wasn't interested in numbers, it only took one person to make me happy. And since she's no longer in the game, I'm not going to post any pictures.

Sorry to disappoint. . .

WS-- don't say I didn't warn ya at least

Nice report WS on other things to do in and outside of Medellin..I was just there recently and agree with you about the weather, the food and of course the quality and quantity of women. Tatiana must have just quit the game because I saw her at La Dolce Vita in Cartagena about 3 weeks ago.

DM,

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Inspector,

Don't know when she "quit" the game, but she volunteered that info to me. Maybe she doesn't consider working out of LDV being in the game. Who knows?

I do have a question for you on the penthouse apartment you stayed at. It looks AWESOME on the website (and I love that they advertise bullet-proof doors on the apartment!) but what exactly is the arrangement. Is the bedroom/bathroom private and you share the common areas like the livingroom, sauna, etc with other people? Are there really girls walking around like they advertise?

Because $100 per night INCLUSIVE of taxes is a great deal. I paid $140, but then got socked with taxes.

Any details would be appreciated!

WS

WS,

Of course you don't understand... your under the spell of a Columbian priestess. You flew 3,000 miles and dropped a couple K for essentially a date. You've been smitten and I'm trying to break the spell.

Anyone who ranks Columbia over LoS has either been blinded by infatuaton or Yeyo ;)

WS, great report. Sorry we could not have a drink in Miami but thanks for the tip rushing to the terminal when I called you. It took me an hour to get from G terminal to A terminal. Miami was a mess. Anyway, great adventure on going out of town. Medellin is on my next places to visit as I did 4 cities on this trip. One more Colombian trip this year and then back to SEA as Merlin's report is reminding me you can't beat SEA no matter what.

JKarp

WS, The Penthouse was not ready for occupancy when I was there.I was there one day when they were working on it, and it is an awesome pad.
It is probably at least 5000 sq feet,2 levels,2 jacuzzis,sauna,pool,and panoramic views of the city from almost every room. It is located right near Loutron.
Robert and Richard both live there so there would be common areas shared. They told me they were trying to arrange to have available the apartment below the Penthouse for people that want there own place,and want to use the Penthouse. They also have another apartment available close by.
Robert runs a marriage/dating agency,so women were coming by alot when I was there to have there photos taken etc. He also knows alot of working girls who came by on occasion and are available when needed. I am sure this type of traffic will increase now that they are in the Penthouse with all the facilities.

JKarp,

What a mess in Miami - but at least we made it to our respective destinations. I'm sure our paths will cross in the future. We both know how great Colombia is, but those reports by Merlin and Epi keep Thailand in the mix. Don't know when I'm gonna make it back though - even with the fiasco at MIA, it still "only" took me 6 hours to get to Medellin - 1/4 of the time it takes to get to LOS. Unfortunately, that's a very big factor. If it was the same distance, I'd probably split my trips evenly between Colombia and Thailand.

Inspector,

Thanks for the info. On my next trip, I'll probably stay there. The Poblado Plaza was great, but nothing can compete with a penthouse apt. like that - and it looks like they won't nickel and dime you to death for little extras.

WS

WS:
Thanks for the report.

Reagaring the Mango's disco, it appears that the Colombian elite gathers here. True? Is it a good idea to go here single i.e. without a date? Would it be easy to "pickup" a lady here or are all the ladies taken/escorted? What kind of music do they play here?

Thanks!

Mango's attracts a very attractive, affluent crowd. On both trips I was blown away by the looks of AT LEAST 20 different girls. Stunning, model-quality girls. I would say no one comes here alone, but not everyone is with a date.

There are several tables with just girls as well as tables with just guys.

After spending an hour, it becomes obvious who is with someone and who is alone, just hanging out with their friends. I can tell you on both occassions Tatiana told me there were a lot of girls checking me out - and I'm not much to look at. So you will be noticed and I would assume this would give you an entree to talk/dance.

But I don't know how "easy" it would be to pick up one of these girls. They appear to not be in need of cash and the guys in this place are also very well-dressed and good-looking, unlike their Thai counterparts. I guess it depends on you - but I would absolutely not come here alone.

They play a mix of music - Latin Pop, Salsa, Merengue - surprisingly never heard Shakira and the only American song I heard on both occassions was the obligatory YMCA by the Village People.

I had a great time both times - it's a must do for any of my Medellin trips.

WS

I went to many upscale discos/salsa clubs in Cali and a decent one in CTG, and I tend to think it may be a bit harder to hook up than other places. As WS noted, these are the spoiled rich kids who go there in groups, out to have a good time with each other, and very few people speak English.

The only reason I had fun at these places was because I was there with my novia and getting introduced to her friends. It's actually tons of fun to see them dance the night away and every other girl will floor you with her looks.

Although there are groups of all hottie females; they were being actively hit upon by well dressed groups of "Mr. Calientes" in their 20s oozing confidence and sweet talk. In fact, these guys were so brazen that they would try to hit up on my gal right in front of me.

MIA is not usually like that - it was due to Hurricane Frances.... it was worse than I ever have seen it (and I travel almost weekly).

I was going to meet you and JKarp, but I only arrived *2 hours early* instead of my ussual under 60 minutes before departure time. I was lucky. Even with my top-tier status I would have missed my flight had not one of the women organizing lines not recognized me and pulled me to the front.

WS, i didnt know Renault manufactured a sedan large enough to haul your GIANT BRASS BALLS in. I would love to drive out in the Colombian countryside but would be to chicken shit to do it sans assault rifle. I dont see anything wrong with sticking to a single chick there, I hooked up with a hottie on day 3 of my CTG trip and had zero desire to stray. It just kept getting better, the colombianas have redefined GFE for me.
p.s. I enjoyed your "tourist" photos, we all know the chicas are superfine there, i can see tits and ass on 1000's of porno sites but where can i see a good macro shot of a 50 cent lunch for two? Great trip report, keep em coming.

Travis,

Actually, the Renault wasn't large enough for my giant brass balls - that's why I switched to a Chevy Blazer! I think there is more danger from the guys passing you on a curve with no guard rail and a straight drop down the mountain rather than from any guerillas.

Everyone has different styles. For some, a trip isn't a success unless they bang x amount of girls a day. For me, I like the long-term GFE type - once I find it, I have a hard time letting go. The old adage "a bird in the hand is wortrh two in the bush" describes my way of thinking.

Bottom line - guys need to enjoy their trips on their own terms, not how they think they'll be perceived.

Thanks for the compliments on the tourist photos. To me, that's a big selling point of Medellin and Colombia and I like to give people a feel of the whole scene, not just the inside of a bar or casa.

WS

"Everyone has different styles. For some, a trip isn't a success unless they bang x amount of girls a day. For me, I like the long-term GFE type - once I find it, I have a hard time letting go. The old adage "a bird in the hand is wortrh two in the bush" describes my way of thinking."

I remember my first trips off American soil - I was always counting the number of boxes banged. My trips were filled with many different ladies, most were fun and friendly...

Now, I take a different approach. I have a couple of girls that are long term "projects". I have others that would be described as girlfriends. I'm not like you in that I can give a whole trip to someone - after all - I MUST dabble!! However, I spent almost 3 straight weeks with "the wife" from BKK and, short of a few STs I was surprisingly attentive to one lady.

Many people subscribe to the "x boxes banged" style while others are LT junkies. Me, I've evolved over the last few years and plan on continuing to change and grow. Right now this current evolution suits me...

Yeah, one in the hand is worth two in the bush, but sometimes I like playing in different bush!!

E

Hi Wallstreet, great report. Your project not only makes me long for a return trip to Colombia, but I'm also getting so fucking hungry looking at all those photos of food!

I too, would like to see some posted pics of Tatiana. I know exactly what you went through at Bogota airport. It seems things haven't improved much since I was there four years ago.

Next time you're headed to TJ let me know, we'll hook up again. Only this time let ME be your tour guide. I'll introduce you to some of my little "hefties" that you'll never monger outside TJ again!

Take care,

Master Bates.

I've never had a trip report make me hungry before. Horny yes, hungry no. Thanks for the first. Excellent pix...