I’m 31 and my bud E is 33. Now that I’ve been divorced for 2 years I’ve wanted to go on vacation for some time and we tried Puerto Vallarta last X-mas for a week but were stuck with a bunch of Canadian tourist and their little kids, no mongering. I didn’t even know where to look or that it really existed outside of your basic “Hey I’m in Mexico lets get a whore,” type of attitude.
Anyways, after reading this board and a few others like a frigin doctoral student looking for anything and everything to put into their thesis. I must say I’d of gotten an A+. Flight Friday out of Houston window seat..Greatness sleep 9 hours and arrive Saturday morning at 9am.
DAY ONE - Saturday
Stayed at the Rio Othon palace, no guest allowed. Now being American I figured that I’d be able to get by with some passable Spanish slash English, LOL, hell no. The only people who speak English are foreigners or the programas. The well versed ones that is. So, we head across the street to the beach hang-out some take it all in and 1 hour later I’m a walking hard-on. It’s terma time!! But on the way back to the hotel I see this young petite black haired beauty with a Great smile. I’m smiling at her and her at me, but she’s clothed. Full shirt and shorts, long I might add. But I keep looking at her as I walk across the street back to the hotel and she waves. I wave back and think little of it, haha, you’ll understand in a few.
So, we go to Monte Carlo’s and now I’m a decently good-lookin guy whose lived in Dallas, Chicago, LA, and now Phoenix….I see nice ass all the time, just with ATTITUDE. But I must say the terma had some excellent talent. We get to the bar and are scopin all the hunnies so my bud chooses a beautifl stunner at 5’10’’ and I usually go petite but I pick one who does passable English at 5’9’’ soft brown hunny hair and a great face, small chested but a great ass. Felt like bouncing quarters off her ass but chose two walnuts instead, and it was more like slammin not bouncing!! She did give a decent bbbj to warm me up and I did some daty, which I love, and we had about a 7 out of 10 time.
Now me and my bud E both meet back after our session in the bar to discuss our romps and an Aussie gent next to us hears us and realizes real quick we’re new to this; so he gives us a few tips and we buy him a round or two of beers, of course by now a few ladies come-over eyeballing us for round two but we thank our friend for the heads-up on the terma action and some other places I was curious about and head to the hotel to clean up and grab food.
Yeah food, lol, so the taxi drops us off at Rio Othon in Copacabana (our hotel) and we spy the infamous Meia Pataca (spelling?) so we think, hell why not they got food at it’s early about 7pm. We go over order up and this 6 (out of 10) comes over and starts a nice conversation with us she has a friend come over 15 minutes later and they speak very good English. Now I’m white and I notice that we don’t see many whites from the US around but a lot of blacks, one of which was sitting at the table beside us listening in to our conversation and he joins us. Call him G. So, G gives us some friendly advice for us young wanna be mongers and we go to the motel behind NEXT for a friendly 2 hour session with our newest friends from MP. I swear I should of just stayed at the frigin motel by the end of the trip I would of saved my damn hotel fare, lol I was there everyday sometimes 2 times a day. Hell they saw me coming and the mgr would give me my setup by the 4th time in like I’d been coming there for years, very nice!! Beers, condoms whatever you know.
Anyway still on day one here and we decide it’s Saturday we gotta hit a club so here we come HELP. We get there at midnight go right in and take it all in walking around several times to see the hunnies. For me I’d say I would of tagged about 40% of them and I’m somewhat picky. We bump into G whose out with about a 6 top of buds intro’s all around they’ve been there a week and our leaving tomorrow and we go home in a week flying out on Saturday.
So, I’m dancing and getting the whole eyeball thing going with a few whom I buy drinks and chat up some, but I’m having way too much fun being a flirt and most go off to find their ATM for the night, so I’m on the dance floor turn around and Beach girl is staring at me, lookin delicious!!!
We dance and she asks why I left the beach and didn’t come talk to her I tell her of course we had dinner reservations and were running late. Now she tells me in conversation that she is not working and I like a dumb arse say yeah I can tell. As in we’re at a club of course you’re not working, and then she politely explains No, almost every girl here is a prostitute and I’m here from out of town for a g-friends b-day party up in the corner of the balcony; where I look and they have about 10 girls no guys and ballons and cake and the whole bit.
I suggest going to a motel to party thinking, I can’t get them back into the hotel, and forget Motels are only really for sex, which really pisses her off. I then explain how I meant it but it takes a while for her to cool down. We hang-out with 2 of her friends who E is all over and dance it up late night till about 3-4AM. They finally agree and once we get into the room OMG. She is all over me!! For me she looked about an 8. Attitude a 10!!! Sex was awesome. She did whatever I wanted and just when I thought I had her satisfied and just wanted to fall asleep exhausted she started in on me again. Well next thing I know I’m getting a banging on my door seems E and his girl wanna go for b-fast. I’m like what the hell are you talking about its time to sleep and he goes man it’s past noon.
So, we go for b-fast, I give here taxi fair of like 20 reals. What a great 1st day, 3 girls 2 paid 1 free and all a lot of fun.
Day Two - Sunday
Well after sleeping until 5pm, about 3 hours, b/c the weather sucked, it was overcast and rainy for 5 out of 7 days. E had been to the bookstore like every other gringo in the world and we all got the same book “Rio for Partiers” or something like that which told you where to go everyday for dinner, street party, or club or wherever on each day of the week. So it’s Sunday and we go to some bar/tavern place and see EVERY other white gringo in the damn country thinking the same thing reading the same book, damn am I stupid. No women in sight, but we meet another cool Aussie ( a lot of them here) and he’s about our age 27 and just have fun swapping stories and then we figure we might as well hit HELP. So, into HELP at about 1am. A few nuggets and I’m hornier that a 4H student in a sheep contest, so I do one circuit around find my late-night hunny and head back to the motel behind HELP. And I notice that when we get there she has a key handed to her like she’s been there before but of course I pay the 70 reals for the night. After a so so session (5 out of 10) I realize she is tired b/c she was here earlier, they always hand me the key, but tonight they handed it to her she must have had the room paid for all night and just made a nice commission off me getting it double paid for, but oh well I get some sleep finally in 2 days.
Day Three – Monday
Did the beach for a few hours (Copa) picked up a girl there and did her for about 2-3 hours back at the motel, and then decided to walk around and get the lay of the land and tried Ipanema. Lol, talk about a totally different mindset. Ipanema is the locals who are not into the tourist scene and the programma girls. But it was nice looking around and we had a late lunch with some Europeans we meet walking around. So, now I’m thinking Rio to me is just like any big city, with a beach. It’s Monday and how many people are really gonna be out and about partying. Yeah, RIGHT!! We decide to check out a nice bar/restaurant up in North Ipanema area and when we get there at 11am which to me is about normal go out time, we are way early, here ppl have dinner at 10pm until midnight or so and then go party. At least that’s what I found for the normal non programma sect. We get there no one is there hardly but the door girl is nice and speaks English very well she studied in the US she tells us they havea dance floor upstairs and to hang-out and that after midnight it will pick-up. Damn, did it ever. Wall to wall locals. Now I see all these girls in groups sitting at tables and such with like 4-6 girls and 1-2 guys and I’m thinking these little sob’s got it made. So, we ask what’s up with the odds and they say women are more sociable in groups and guys like to go it alone more often or smaller, basically one of the guys tells me Guys hunt girls go out in packs and he’s stuck here b/c his g-friend didn’t want him messing around on her behind her back which is typical. So then I ask why are the couples making out like its prom and he says most live at home with parents so no privacy there and also this marks him to all the other locals that he’s takin so he can’t roam free to easily. LOL!! Smart girls, maybe this is why the are so talented in bed, b/c they have to have some way to keep their man interested as opposed to the US chicks where the hotter they look it seems the worse they are in bed like looking at a barbie girl who lays there like a gingerbread cookie in a starfish position is gonna get me off b/c she’s hot as opposed to a decent lookin chica who performs like her life depends on it!! Anway, we have a great time and we go back to the hotel at about 5am.
Day Four – Tuesday
We hit the beach, Corcovado, Sugar Loaf and meet Aussie boy for drinks at the Irish pub, which I forget the name of and see every gringo in the city, lol, and then some news crew comes in and starts filming. It’s Saint Paddys Day, which I had forgotten (actually I’m probably getting the day we were there mixed up this maybe Wed or Thur but whatever) After which we 3 go to HELP. Now I’ve been there 2 times already and this time we get there at 11:30 and I see some serious talent, this one in particular is Hot as BALLS!!! I’m serious when I say she could easily be some sugar daddy’s arm jewelry for life, but instead of hooking up like a lot of the good lookin ones do early and then go back to the club lookin for round two she goes into the club with me and 4 other guys drooling down her back.
So inside we all proceed to get her attention come over to my table for bottle service blah blah blah, and she plays the field like a pro. I waste so much time trying to catch a glimpse or get some attention I’m turning down some 7,8’s and a 9 for this to me perfect 10. She dances like she’s having sex and I seriously contemplate asking a girl to jerk me off under the TINY little tables that we have overtaken for our bottle service while I watch her dance. Next thing I know I go to the bathroom at about 3am and when I walk out she grabs my ass. I’m stunned, we do small talk and then she asks why I haven’t come over to her before because she’s been looking at me and me at her all night, so I say you’ve got plenty of attention and I didn’t wanna take anything from your limelight. Then her g-friend comes over and next thing they have my shirt off with the 3 of us dancing to techno with hands everywhere and I feel like I’m in complete bliss thinking this is the night I finally do a 2-on-1, but then they excuse themselves to go to the bathroom. Now E and Aussie have got their girls all lined up and more than ready to leave so I say go ahead see ya later and wait for my beauty queen, and man am I look to crown her!! But 5,10, 15 minutes nothing so I start looking around did I miss her, did she leave, what the hell? So I panic and think shit I gotta get some little nugget or I’m screwed and I’m definitely wound up. I grab some 6 who looks innocent and I find out later is 2 months old in the biz and barely legal, when we head to the exit my Beauty Queen comes around the corner and grabs me asking where did I go. Her friend got sick in the bathroom so it took them a while and she’s been looking for me for 20 minutes and can we leave. Now this is all happening while my pick up hunny is standing about 3 feet away looking like a deer in headlights not sure what to do. So BQ figures out that I grabbed her and gets pizzed!!!! Like OMG how could you even pick her after hanging with me you stupid gringo. So, my dilemma is try to smooth out BQ and loose the 6 whose fresh and innocent, or stick with my backup 6. Well BQ makes up my mind for me fast, she grabs 2 guys who I’ve seen looking at her all night and basically says in front of all of us, who in their right mind is gonna pass on her and she needs a real man who can step up and take her like the sex goddesss she is. Yeah, 2 seconds later she’s gone with the fellas. DAMN DAMN DAMN!!!! So, like pizza, even when it’s bad it’s still good I grabbed the 6 and hit the motel. Surprisingly, she was very eager in bed to show me that I did not waste my pick, which was nice.
Day Five - Wednesday
We hit the big mall about 30 minutes away I forget the name and go shopping. Holy Crap the girls at the mall looked good. And the prices are so cheap, we got about $400 US in clothes. We were there for about 6 hours round trip just hangin out talking to shop owners and the girls and stuff. Kind of nice.
So we did MC therma again late afternoon early evening and again was surprised by at least 5-6 girls I would of GFE’d anyday. Hell my litmus test is can I walk on the beach with her in front of everyone holding hands with a bathing suit on. Now I know that sounds vain but if I’m too embarrassed to do that she maybe hitt-able but not date-able. And most of these were date able. Again I and E just do one and head-out.
We have dinner reservations at a supposed very nice steak house on the Ipanema side of town and we get there at a reasonable early 8:30-9PM. So, we are dressed nice. Nice pants good dress shirts nice shoed and they look at us like we are from another planet, we notice only one gringo group 2 Germans, and they all but refuse to seat us, acting like who the hell are you, but we had reservations from the hotel concierge and they finally seat us, but now no one and I mean NO ONE speaks any English. The manager comes over and we are trying to communicate we don’t understand the menu and can we get a drink and we just need some help. Now the 2 Germans (thank god translate).
Now I’m very clean cut looking and know how to conduct myself accordingly in various places so this restaurant is by No means a stretch for me but the manager insists it is very expensive and are we sure we are in the right place. So we ask the Germans how much are the prices since they are not on the menu but spelled out or something and I can’t seek to figure it out. They tell us and I start instantly laughing!!
The manager gives me this look of OMG gringo don’t make a scene in my beautiful restaurant and my laughter isn’t very loud just shocking to him. The Germans look at us smiling and I say in English are you kidding. I brought $300US for dinner expecting it to be on par with top US priced restaurants, sans crazy wine and such. Well they convey to the mgr we have a few houndred US dollars to which I pull out a little over 1000 reals and my Visa and AE credit cards and BANG!!!! We have an instant 3 man service 2 waiters and the manager waiting on us hand and foot. They just bring us a bottle of Kettle One to pour our own drinks and such and we have a very good meal, which was still with tip barely $150us. Of course, the mgr’s English got a good bit better too.
Later night we hit a club with Aussie and his 3 buds one of which lives in Brazil to get more local flavor at some joint in the city centre. From the outside it looked like and old crap warehouse, with some gangers who walked past everyone to get in. And I mean NO ONE stepped in front of these mafiaosos. Inside was a totally decadent club like you’d find in any major US city. The girls were fun and lively and the guys would just grab whatever they wanted with most girls smiling back or a few slapping down hands, but being the Only 3 gringos in there we played nice and I found one on the locals friends who came to meet him out digging on me so we made out in the club but when I told here where we were staying and if she wanted to come back to our neck of the woods she passed. Oh well. I already hit the terma today so I’ll live.
Day Six – Thursday
Finally another nice beach day and we layed out and played cards all day and drank a ton of beer. Of course we had the umbrella guy from the previous day who’s out there everyday to be sure wait on us hand and foot. Hell he even got us 3 menus for lunch to order off of, never asked us for a dime intro’d us to some girls one of which I took a quick siesta with to the motel and came back to the beach with after 45 minutes. And at the end of the 6 hours my bill for Lunch, tables, beer, umbrellas and 1st rate service you ask? LOL, 100 reals, what a joke!! I gave him an extra 20 reals for being so cool.
We hit another nice restaurant, no probs this time, and decided to get back to HELP tonight. So, we go to HELP I pick a girl out at about 12:30 feeling overly horny and a little tired from drinking all day in the sun; so I think I need to get back to the motel early b4 I pass out. Now by 3am I’m hungry leave the hotel and go find E outside HELP at the café eating, I join him and put my feet up on the chair beside me to rest.
Immediately start getting heckled by 2 ladies sitting near us and looked over like the tube steak I am. Finally, a local gringo tells me that this girl must want me bad and I should play along he’ll negotiate and get her for me cheap, but I tell him I’m tired and the layout of my day so far and I’ll pass. Well we realize we are both from Texas originally and we start to talk about Rio and the states and he tells me he’s been living here for about 2 years and his boss is in town from the states (computers) and they came to HELP for that and all but now they are thinking of having a festinha back at his 3 bedroom townhouse and do I want to come he’ll get the 2 hecklers and some other girls and we can have a serious party. Well, E says he’s tired and just gonna finish eating and go to sleep, now my debauchery brain kicks in and says HELL YES!!
Off we go with 3 guys and the boss is a 50 yr old, fat jovial party guy, who I instantly like and see myself as in probably 20 years or so. We get to his place it’s a nice interior with 2 tv’s and 3 bedrooms each with a futon type bed and a futon sofa in 2 living ares which is are all made out into beds. We put porn on the TV’s the girls all get naked and we’re doing body shots and drinking beers like frigin Mardi Gras is on the last day. I’m getting bbbj from 3 different girls on the balcony overlook the water that’s in the center of Rio out of some 6thy story condo while watching the Boss pile 2 diff girls back and forth 10 ft from me in the living room while my fellow Texan is running around chasing 2 other ladies with a horse whip. LMAO!!!! So for easy math that’s 7 girls and 3 guys!! Well lucky for me I have whisky dick and it ain’t going down anytime soon, but it isn’t exactly popping either. So after we all take turns with diff ladies in diff ways I get the 2 that had been heckling me and we proceed to shower where I finally nut on the back of the friend as I pull out without as I notice a condom (Yeah I know bad bad bad) but I had forgotten during all the heat.
We finish the shower it’s about 6am and I’m wired now for some reason, so I go in and find the horse whip wanting to get my Texas riding chops and the Boss is doggying his girl who grabs me as I walk by with the whip and starts to bbbj me as I stand and in front with him on back huffin away while I whip her ass my heckler come out join in for about 10 minutes and then I’m back in the bedroom riding her whipping the other girl as she proceeds to twist around to like us both below while I’m in rhythm. Now this is greatness!!! So, as I’m about to blow she yells at me to feed her some “DICK”!! as I spluge in her throat and she hungrily takes it all in without missing a drop and then feed it to her g-friend whose licking her chops. OMG am I dreaming, Scotty beam me up, this cannot be real. Well next thing I know my fellow Texas comes in dressed for work and is like dam I’m late so all the girls are scrambling around trying to find their clothes which are everywhere, b/c as I find out he’s everyone’s ride. I jump in the front seat of his van, and we all proceed to head out and he tells me he can get me somewhat close to my hotel but not all the way and if I’d like to contribute to last night’s festivities he’d appreciate it so I give him 100 reals apologizing for not having more and he says sincerely “No Prob”, Damn I’m glad to be a Texan, that hospitality stays with you for life!!!
He drops me and one of my guzzling hecklers off at a light, and I realize its 8am I’m in the middle of rush hour traffic with no Taxi insight and this girl who barely speaks English and no frigin clue where I am. But she insists I follow her as we proceed through back alleys and around streets with barely any ppl on them I get real nervous. But I make it back to a few blocks off the beach she says Ciao!! Pointing me in the direction of my hotel. What a NIGHT!!
I get back at 10am, with no sleep and pass out, to hear E come in at 1pm, he wasn’t here b4. HE had met a girl while eating last night and they went to the motel where she proceeded to do coke with him putting it on his tube steak sucking and sniffing it off and other crazed debauchery that I love him for. Now I don’t do drugs ever, but he says it was crazy the crap she was doing sticking it bung then her licking it off and all.
Day Five – Friday
Now, I’ve had practically no sleep all week and I just had what is the best sexually crazed night of my life and think I really need to take it easy tonight, but what’s that you say….tonight’s my last night my plane leaves Saturday I have to go out with a bang. Well who am I to disappoint my fans
We meet Aussie at Beach around 3pm, drink, some more over in Ipanema and it hits. HARD!! Lets see all week drinking and killing the liver and last night was the worst and I hadn’t had a bowel problem yet…well now I did I was walking like an Olympic speed racer looking for the nearest toilet, but of course over in Ipanema I see NO bathrooms and I can’t see any patio cafes so we have to power walk over a block or FRIGIN TWO as my arse is about to EXPLODE. All the while my supposed friends, who are now the Gestapo asses start to flag down any and every girl they can see saying I’d like to talk to them and I’m trying so hard not to sweat all over them and shit myself. Of course, they find plenty of accomplices, but oh it gets Sooo much better!!!
As we round the corner of Block two who bumps, literally, into me coming out of a gated complex but BQ (beauty Queen) whom I have’t seen since that night at HELP. And now I really, I man profusely really, all but getting arrested I’d drop anchor right there in the street my stomach and arse are KILLING me. She stars back pedaling like crazy about the other night and how we should go out tonight, but at this point I don’t care, I leave her standing there with my friends laughing their butts off as mine starts to make not so nice noises and aromas, to which she gives me a look of absolute horror!!!
Yes, I run into a café finally straight to the restroom and have my arse throw up. I mean I really painted the bowl!!! Thanks for not laughing too hard at me.
Needless to say we go to HELP one last time that night and we both pick-up do our thing and I sleep until 3pm the next day as the hotel is pissed we miss check-out, but smooth things over and get to the airport for the flight back to sunny AZ.
I would like to say TY to all on this site who definitely made this trip possible with their insight and wisdom. But I must say now I’m addicted and read a lot of the Asian side and of course Brazil side. I’m looking to go back to Rio, have decided against Pattaya for now, this coming Jan-Feb of 2005. There is so much I now know I didn’t get to do and if anyone is going around then let me know. Always good to have co-pilots!!!
I’m amazed to listen to everyone’s renditions and hopefully if nothing else you got a laugh from mine. Like I said I’m a 31 yr old, medical sales guy from AZ who’s divorced but not bitter. Most women here in the USA are all about themselves without contributing much to the relationship and damn well not nearly as good as the Brazilians at taking care of their man sexually at least, but it’s all good. I’m just looking to explore and have fun so for all out there happy hunting and as long as you keep an open mind and wallet, lol, you too I’m sure will find some adventure along the way. Hopefully I can finally get E’s camera to download pics, b/c unfortunately I have none. Now that I know better what I need to bring I’m sure my 2nd trip will be that much better!! Feel free to drop me a line anytime! Peace~!