Lost in Costa Rica for 5 days

Well this is the trip report for my little trip to Costa Rica in June of 2007. My main trip for the summer is next month , so that trip report will be better and more entertaining since I will have 5 other friends with me. This trip report will hopefully provide a brief glimpse of the current situation in san jose and playa jaco.

Thursday –
Took the day off, ran over to Wal-Mart for some essential supplies, go home and pack, then head off to the airport for a late flight (11pm Departure).I Flew out of Ft. Lauderdale instead of Miami. My 1st impression of the airport in Ft. Lauderdale was that it was nice and blew Miami out of the water. This would change of my return flight home. The customs dept is so small in ft.lauderdale , I had to wait over one hour to clean when I got home. I flew spirit instead of my usual AA and have mixed views. The flights are better priced and I applaud spirit for busting into an emerging market AA has had by the balls for many years. Two things pissed me off about spirit, you have to pay $10 per checked bag ($5 online pre-paid) which I used. Cokes and snacks you also get charged for, I know you pay for them regardless , I guess I just like a higher ticket price and not having to pay for every little thing. For someone on a budget who just needs a flight, this will save money, as spirit is cheaper then American airlines of most flights. I paid $300USD round trip, including all taxes.

Landed close to midnight, immigration and customs was a breeze as usual. Got outside and got mobbed as usual, Found a taxi (non-orange-unlicensed) , I needed a ride up to the mountains above San Jose(30min drive), Taxi driver quoted me $25.00 USD , I laughed and walked away , wow it must me my lucky day. Suddenly the price dropped 20% to $20 USD! So off I go, its really late and I am tired. We reach Heredia and continue up hill, get lost drive around for almost and hour till I find the house I am looking for. The driver tells me I owe him $30 , I laugh and hand him $20 , its his fault we got lost, before leaving with him at the airportm I showed him a map and told him my destination. It’s his fault he was incompetent, not mine. I know the Heredia, San-Rafael area well. But many things were against me that night. It was dark, late and had been almost a year since I’ve last visited Costa Rica, and I doubt the painkillers and booze in flight helped jog my memory. During the day I know my way well; at night everything looks the same.

New Rule: NEVER FLY IN AT NIGHT!!!!!!!!! IT’S JUST NOT WORTH THE BULLSHIT

Friday –
Drove to Playa Jaco, road conditions are definitely improving when going through the mountains. Stopped for lunch at a spot on the way in the mountains for dinner, what a beautiful view, here are some pics below, I forget the name of this place, but you can’t miss it.






Brooke loose and went out to see how jaco has been faring. My 1st stop was the cocal hotel and casino. Had some drinks there and played some poker, didn’t win much , but didn’t lose. Spent some time outside at the pool bar and spoke to a few other Americans, funny thing was while outside I got approached by 2 working girls at the hotel bar, I brushed them off since I still needed to play cards, after the 2 girls left, the American I had been talking to, talked about how awful it was that this town was flooded with “hookers” I smiled and said something to the nature…”It takes all kind of cars to make up a free way”. So I left the cocal and walked down to the infamous Beatle bar. Probably got there 11pm, so a lot of talent had probably already been checked out. Sat down and had a few more drinks. Two new things I noticed about the Beatle bar: 1.) They have a 2nd bar in the back now; 2.) They have a new big screen in the back ,just 2 observations I made. Look up hypocrite in the dictionary and you’ll see a picture of the 2 American guys I met at the cocal earlier. When I walk into the Beatle there sitting there having a blast. I make eye-contact and we all just laugh. So the beers flow and I look around. The Beatle bar in my opinion is still a great place with lots of great talent, and the girls overall are not as jaded or greedy as say the hotel delrey. Most girls get in little groups and sit in tables around the bar , they are less aggressive and generally won’t bug you unless they see you fucking them with your eyes. Xenia, yes xenia like the warrior princess pulls up a chair next to me. She is Dominican probably 5’7” 125lbs, 25 yrs , built like a brick shit house, and doesn’t speak much English .We sit around and talk a little, she wants a drink, so me being drunk and sick of buying drinks all the time , offer my corona I’m sipping on to her. Ok, so maybe that is rude, but she spouts off in Spanish she doesn’t want any beer. I pretend to not understand at all even though I’ve been speaking to her the past 10min, I love that trick, they pull it on us all the time. I grab her a drink and we continue … So this chica looks pretty good too me, nice firm ass, nice tits, and good attitude for putting up with me in my drunk state. I test out the tits at the bar, there real, so now its time to discuss price. I really hate discussing details of P4P and price before hand, but its rule number 1 in the monger’s bible, so I try to be quick, but still cover all angles. We agreed on $60USD for an hour, not cheap , but not expensive, she was well worth it. So my next dilemma in jaco, was where to I take my new Dominican princess for our 1 hour honeymoon. She offered to take me to her place and I could spend the night……..yada yada yada…….Hmmm…..I am drunk, alone, no cell phone sure lets go off in the middle of nowhere. Well it turns out the hotel above the Beatle bar rents rooms for 10,000 colones an hours, just under $20usd. Ouch, but without anywhere else to go, they had me by the balls….literally. Xenia was a great fuck, awesome BBBJ, great lay, ended doggie style, with that beautiful dark ass to cushion me. I Forgot the camera on this night , I really regret it , but ill be back in august and ill definitely have to repeat and get some pics with her then.
Well I popped my black girl cherry that night and all I have to say is wow. Nuff Said.

Sat-
Don’t remember, didn’t get any pussy.
Sun-
Got some fishing done out of playa heradura , some pics below.





Came back home, passed out, no pussy again.
Monday- Left for San Jose after breakfast. Checked into the presidente and let the debauchery begin. Went downstairs, had my customary coronas at the hotel bar, then walked over to zona blue. Things were hopping, probably 12-17girls , 5-10 guys. Most of the guys there were nice, the girls were playful but somewhat reserved compared to what I’ve seen in the past. Did two girls that afternoon in zona blue, a Columbian and a tica. Its $50 USD per hour , or 2 girls for a ½ hour. If a girl goes above and beyond I usually tip 5000 colones (just under $10USD).If she gives poor service , no tip. Both girls gave great BBBJ and banged like the pros they were. Overall zona blue is ok, nothing special , but you can definitely burn an afternoon there if in san jose.



Photo: ZB Tica
Photo: ZB Columbian

Left zona blue around 7pm, walked back to the presidente, no problems , just bear right when walking back uphill to stay away from morzan park, and you will be fine. Got back to the presidente and my key wouldn’t work, I got upgraded to a junior suite, nice room.
Had some dinner at the café on the corner of ave.central and calle 9 I believe, the road before you turn left to walk to the delrey from the presidente. Good food , and cheap and wholesome. I highly recommend it. Made my way into the delrey around 10pm or so.

1st off , it was a Monday night , but no excuses!!!!!!!!!!
Moooo , Mooooooooo , Yee haaawwww , oh yea welcome to the fucking zoo.
For the record , my last trip to the delrey was august of 2006. Then two more trips in 2005. So I never saw it in its prime, but I’ve still seen better days. Back to my trip to the zoo. Well as usual the place is packed , some 7-8’s , and a few 9’s sprinkled in , but mainly stuff I wouldn’t fuck for free. The blue marlin was packed, so I made a lap and got snagged by a real hot chica near the side bar(the less busy side of the delrey) , definitely looked Columbian, and I found out I was right. Chatted for a bit , then she wanted a drink instantly, usually I would see the red flag, but since I just got in I needed a drink too , so she got lucky. Now understand the audacity this bitch and her friend had. As I am up there getting drinks with the Columbian I just met, her friend comes up and says “u get drink for me 2” and starts ordering a drink , and the bartender is about to make it. I say “whooo now , I don’t even know you, what’s my name? Do you know my name? No drink for you” It made me sick to my stomach! Does this girl really get away with what she just tried to pull on me? I’m sure she does and that disturbs me. I’m not cheap, but before I want to shell out for a drink , it would be nice for you to ask me my name and where I am from , and all that standard chica chat in badly broken English. So drink leech friend leaves and I’m talking to my Columbian , mind you less then 2 sips into my drink she says “you wan’t to go with me” I said “sure your beautiful” , next thing she asked was were I was staying, I told her the presidente, then she says “lets go” im shocked , I haven’t even drank half my drink and she wants to go. So at this point im going to ditch her. For fun I ask her for all night long “for you ,2 hundred baby” well I laughed so hard I had captin morgan and coke coming out of my nose. Then she persisted, “you wannnntt to go wit me” I said maybe, lets relax. With that she put down her half drank glass and walked away, without any talking. As always the Columbians have a bad rap down in costa rica , especially the delrey , well its rightfully deserved. I was quite taken by her rudeness to not even finish the drink, and then move on to someone stupider then me. So I headed up to the blue marlin and garbed a seat. The bartenders use to be extremely hot and friendly. Not anymore , they still look great , but there not very friendly and if your not on your toes , they will “”accidentally”” forget to hand you back your change. The quality of most of the women was horrible. Girls with guts bigger then mine , women into there 40’s that had not one fucking reason to be there. I even saw some eco-dikes , and some eco-hippy dumbass in the delrey. They were just looking at everyone and just gawking and talking to themselves, they gave me a dirty look when I was watching them, I was wondering “what are they doing here of all the places in costa rica?” So I basically sat at the blue marlin and slammed a ton of drinks. I was Sitting there thinking how badly things have gotten one year later. I talked to a few fellow Americans at the bar and shared my feelings , they could care less, I tried to teach them to stay away from the Columbians and not over pay. I felt like I came upon death ears. During the past few hours I sat at the blue marlin and let current climate settle in. I sat with a Tica , can’t remember her name. Nothing special, butter face, but she put up with me the past 3 hours and help me practice my Spanish also. So I figured I better test the bed in the suite they upgraded me too. I think I paid $60 ,for the night. If that, what she lacked in the looks department , she made up with in skills dept. Good night of girlfriend banging , no rush , watching tv , just relaxing. and that’s what I needed for that night , being I was well into the booze by that time at night. She had a joint on her , we burned that up also. It was some crap , but it was something. Next morning hit the world class presidente breakfast, then left for home.

Photo: Forgot Name

After Thoughts: Costa Rica is currently my sole mongering destination at this point so far. The factors behind this are time mainly. Costa Ricas 2.5 hour flight and relatively easy setup and great fishing are appealing to me. Im heading back to costa rica in august instead of my previously planned Thailand trip. The reasons behind this , is because I couldn’t get any of my friend to go to Thailand. I definitely need a friend to watch my back and share the experiences with. What good is a story if someone can’t snicker with you while you mention it. So in august I will be back down for a week with 5 other friends , should be some fun. This trip was a family trip and only a small slice was dedicated to “entertainment”. Next month will be purely for entertainment. This next trip will probably be on of my last trips for awhile to costa rica.

My overall synopsis of the current situation in costa rica: The Beatle bar in jaco is still nice and a great spot. The chicas are more laid back and tend to be friendlier. The delery has gone to shit, its disgusting. Zona blue is ok for an afternoon if you’re bored. Costa rica is still a great place , with great scenery , people and fishing. But its capacity as a place to go for entertainment has suffered greatly, and unfortunately I think it will continue to get worse. I will always love costa rica and have a soft spot for it, but I believe in the future I will not be returning to party past this next trip. Thailand is calling me!!!!

Smuckin

Is that a Cross Dresser holding the joint? Was he a maid at the hotel or something?

Blazers, that is cold.... obviously it was an alcohol induced mistake, what is that called ? Beer goggles?

Costa Rica still has something to offer, it is an easy go from Florida, especially if you're time is limited . Getting away from the Blue Marlin is probably the best thing you can do. There are plenty of other venues in San Jose. For a $2 taxi , go to Idem, you can drink , pick a girl, go upstairs for about $45, and then go downstairs and drink some more. Directly across the street from Idem is another, smaller little brothel.

Smuckin, thanks for the update.

Blazers, Thats cold, but extremely funny.

Baddog, the place directly across the street from Idem is a gay disco according to Roberto. Across and to the left is a local brothel (forget name) that caters to locals. talent level is pretty much like the cross dresser holding the joint.

The place across the street is called Eros, (lucy's) I have seen a few surprises, quite good actually, in there over the years although I haven't been in the place for at least 5 years. Also the last I heard Lucy moved so it may be new owners. As far as Tarzan goes, the other club, I think there are some girls in there but roberto tells you its gay. Maybe their Lesbians, that could be a good thing..lol. but in all my trips to Idem I have never walked in or saw anyone entering or leaving. Someone should investigate!!!

Smuckin-

Bite the bullet and get the fuck out of CR as your mongering destination. I go there to surf but never to fuck, as the options are so much better elsewhere. Sure, a plane ticket to Rio or Bangkok costs more, and those are longer trips (esp. BKK), but the upsides outweigh any downsides.

Last time I was in the Blue Marlin, most of the putas looked like rejects from the Hungarian Men's Greco-Roman wrestling team. They were UGLY. And their attitudes were worse.

Smuckin,

Glad to hear of your exploits in the CR. You are one of the few who helps keep this section alive. Much appreciated.

I try and go to CR once a year. The ONLY reason I go there is it's proximity to the US. It is an easy trip to "escape" for a weekend. The beach in Jaco kicks ass and the Beetle Bar, while fun, is Grade B, you can still find a good time if you can justify the time you have saved by staying close to home.

You need to venture East, FAR East. You seem to enjoy your trips and you would be doing yourself a great service.

Hope to catch you in CR sometime if our schedules coincide.

Regards,

surferr3

Glad to have read this report. CR is where I used to go in my younger days, and I sometimes consider returning for nostalgia's sake. But between 1999 and 2002, my CR years, I saw a sharp decline that evidently has persisted. Too bad, especially since the Colon is as weak as the dollar.

Smukin, you sound like a good dude and I say this in good fun, but I cannot defend you on that monstrosity you spent your last night with. I've seen pictures of Thai ladyboys that I'd fuck before that. That, as much as your very helpful information, will keep me out of SJO.

LM

Guys, maybe this is 2:25am EST but I was in CR, San Jose, Del Rey, and it was not that bad. Yes, it is pricey, $60 to $80 since it was my first time. There were many pretty Colombian. The only problem is the attitude and very professional. Once the session is done, they are out of the door. I feel that Tica would be a better selection and going to Idem for a better price. If you want Colombian, you should go to Colombia not CR. Anyone else gone to CR lately? It is really not that bad. A quick trip from the USA.

Smuckin,,,
thanks for the report, but YOU should have never given up on Thailand !!! big mistake,
I'am sure one could find some decent Costa Rica Tica around San Jose at some point, but the fun YOU would experience in LOS and the divine attention YOU get,from your average Thai girl...leaves Costa Rica way, way, down.

my 2 cents, T.H.M.

Ahhh and your "Forgot Name" girl ?
if you were happy with her,, well then, "good 4 U" dude !!
hope you'll find time to go to Thailand !!

Maybe if you delete the "Forgot Name" picture you can perhaps, mercifully, forget the whole sorry episode. This gal might even be 'Double Coyote Ugly.' (That's where you chew your other arm off since you know she'll be looking for a one-armed man!)

Smuckin

Brave to post all your photos. You shouldn't care about detractors as they weren't on your trip. It's your trip. Everyone on the board appreciates new reports. I understand the effort it takes to write one. Also you should notice that some of the strangest comments come from people who never post their own reports. Ignore those. I do also have to tell you that there was an ugly girl in my Peru report that has no posted pic. Since I could see how ugly she was, I just didn't take a pic. Also I wanted to tell you that I could remember a night when as I woke sober in the morning, I would have chewed off both arms to get away, and she was in America.

I use to like Costa Rica. I just gave up as better locations took away my attention. You do owe it to yourself to bite the bullet and travel a little further for some of the other destinations, it's worth it.

Smuckin

I cast another opinion as a former CR visitor, go East. Take a long weekend instead of just a weekend. The sleeplessness upon return from the long flight will be worth it. Until you've been, that is all I can say. Hey, the weather will still be hot and sticky with lots of bugs, so you won't miss that!

Reading all the posts it looks like Ive made a big mistake booking a flight from UK to CR for mongering. But what percentage of chicas in Del Rey are 9s and 10s? What can you expect to pay for the quality girls for 2-3 hour service? I am only interested in screwing very good looking girls.

I will be in CR next week with my wingman, this report is making me think twice about going..no to mention the picture...hopefully we will have better luck..

Just got back from 9 weeks in Costa Rica and I'll tell'ya Smuckin', you nailed it. Costa Rica is my second home. Been going down for 17 years when it was off the beaten path. It now IS the beaten path.

Beat down, more like it.

You nailed the Rey action exactly. On a Saturday night out of 200 chicas, maybe 10-15 are hotties. These are taken off the board quickly, starting negotiations at well over $100 and getting it. Victory here is paying $125 for two hours or so with an 8. Plenty of mediocre chicas in body or attitude starting at cien and coming down, maybe, to $80. TONS of gorditas are asking for $60. It's the worst I've seen CR in my 17 years. They should seriously consider placing scales at each entrance and enforcing weight limitations.

You CAN go off hours/days, negotiate with a 6 or 7 for $50 for 1 hour. This is usually ininspired sex with RULES: Her condom, lube, CBJ, no kissing, no photos...you may as well be pounding sand.

Why the deterioration? Supply and demand. NEVER seen so many dudes at the Rey. Used to be they'd clear out by Sunday. Wave after wave now come, eager to blow the cien or more for short time. If you stay longer periods and don't have a bundle, the hotties aren't available to you (and god help you if you're not staying at a Gulch hotel, they won't even start negotiations)...

If you do go back, try to move out of the Gulch. Look into where the gems are at smaller places: Club Monoco, VIPS, Molino Rojo or Las Margaritas. By day Zona Blue has a nice lineup for $48 per hour. Other massage joints out on Paseo Colon. At least explore some of these...

I posted some CR photos. Most of these girls are found away from the Gulch. Some are street chicas, some free agents I've gotten to know. Great to have phone numbers, but there is MILEAGE accumulating.

For now, I'm done with CR.

I'll take my Colombianas in Medellin from now on.