My Maden Voyedge

Fellers, it took me durn near 5 years to go, but I dunnit. I finealy took me a innernational sex trip.

Not that it was easy, cuz it werent. No sir, not easy at tall. You see, folks here where Im from dont take kindly to people goin to other cuntries for their vacation.

As for the trip there? I dont know how yall do it. It dun took me 3 flights an nearly 20 hours just to get there?? Thats a hole lotta work jus to get layed! One good thing was that I had the foreskin to know Id be whupped if I flew the back of the plane, so I booked me a chair up the front way. I tell you what, them are some reel fine folks sit up there to. To make shore i fit in an all, I wore my Sunday Go To Meetin clothes, oh and my shiny shoos.

Angels City shooooore dose have a lotta bars. I checked in to my motel and took a walk along Field Street around suppertime. Girls on the street kept callin me to come into their bar, and bein tha Southern Genteelman I am? I just hadta obleyeg them.

Fellers, you aint never seen nuthin like it neither. Them bars had more girlies than a man could count?!?! I bought lots of drinks, so many I loss track. But them ladies is so durn polite it nearly kilt me! Sir this and Sir that - it was kinda like bein home, all accept for them bein short an yeller that is.

I was just mindin my own affairs when this one girl cum up and started rubbin all over me. She had tha cutest buck teeth, and one eye that wandered ever so slight like. In other words she was flat out A-dorable.

Heres her pictsure. She musta told me her name a milliun times but i couldn't never remember it, so i jes called Lil Bucky.

Photo: Bucky 01

When Lil Bucky said she was a 3 holer, I sat up straightar.

When said she could lick my balls while she deepthroats - I spilt my beer,

Butt when she offered to stick her tongue up in my ass - she won my heart right then and thar!

Drawn to her like the proferbial moth to the flame I was! Paid my thirty bucks and off we went to my motel.

And do you no what? She dunn all them thangs she promised to. I aint good with all the sexy writin like some guys, but lemme ashore you I never thought this wood happen ta me. It was sex like wed known each other since back in school.

The next mornin I plum fergot her name again! Not that it mattered cuz I couldnt pronounce it no how, so I jus kept callin her Lil Bucky. Now when Bucky woke up, she went straight about suckin my cock for breakfast. When she tried to kiss me? She had some ruff morning breath let me tell you. I imagine it prolly had sumthin to do with her tongue bein all up in my ass all night. She that tongue o hers wayyy up there too - past the second knuckle. So I sent her to brush her cute lil teeth afore Id kiss her.

From readin what yall write about Angels City gals I knew shed want me to barfine her for the second day, so thats when I had to let her down real gentle like. Darlin, I told her, I'm gonna butterfly today, but I will barfine ya again afore I leaves.

So now Im in this big fancy bar that never closes. Its the middle of the day so I went upstairs and shot me some billiards. One of the barmaids put her pretty lil self up against me, and after she bent over tha table - I knowed I was in LOVE.

Photos: Cliffy 02 03

Seein her tight lil ass like that bout nearly killed me! I barfined her sos I could have me a some o what was under that deelishus lil minny skirt ohers

Now, when we was walkin outta the club together, and it got quiet in the street? I couldnt understand her so good. She sounded all kindsa funny when she talked. Turns out she has one of them whatchacall cliff palates. How bout that??? What luck to have a great piece of ass, and with such a cute lil ol' voice too! I ferget her name too, so I call her Lil Cliffy.

Heres' what she looked like back the room

Photos: Cliffy 04 05 06

Lil Cliffy was a horny fuck too. When we was makin love? she got wettern a duck splashin after a june bug in a puddle. In fact, ever time she cum, she got so wet that Lil Bammer felt like a salmon swimming upstream to spawn

Fellers theres more, but I aint wrote this much since tha eigth grade so Im gonna rest for a while. Yall stayed tuned an Ill be back wit some more real soon.

Should we round up the usual suspects and try to figure out who wrote this? Or maybe we can just save some time and round up the usual suspect.

Les not start that agin fellers. Jes simmer down and let me give back to my coummmunity with this here re port, afore you gets me upset.

My cousin made a home movie outta the video film i took an posted it here for y'all

Admin: Inactive URL removed

Looks like we have another live one. The guy thinks he is some sort of playboy, but I'll tell you this gringo writes like a toddler.

Enough already, you're getting my Irish up.

LOL! You finally got over to AC. So, Bammer, was them AC girls more fun than them Korean finger-jabbers?

It's mighty kind of you to share your wealth with the handicapped girls of AC. They need love (and $) too.

Lookin' forward to further tales of your time in AC

God,,,man thnks for da video is great,,,,good job!! Thnks for sharing!!!

Did u watch lil Bucky polishn my nob with no hands? Mister Bwana her eye bein crooked like that aint no handicap - it lets her keep a close eye on my thangs.



(Message edited by bammer on June 30, 2009)

She seemed very focused on her work, but it's a little strange, isn't it, when she's lookin' at your knob with one eye and your face with the other?

Loved the video, Bammer! Not bad for a first effort.

I just hope Bammer's mother never sees the video or finds out what he's up to. Now THAT would make HER go cross-eyed!

Mr LaGay yoos shore talk funny. Yall aint right in th'head, but then most oyoos big city california guys is whacked. Yous startin to remind me of Mister Drysdale

Bammer, you have that rare ability to express yourself in terms and pacing that only truly cultured people can understand.

I am happy that your friend bucky has such a lucrative job. With those crossed eyes, she would never make it a as a waitres; no one would know where their next meal was coming from.

Whur didja gow to skool?

Looks like you were gittin' r done Bammer. I must say, the video of you getting a bj to Sweet Home Alabama was a nice touch....but I wasen't expecting any other song.

I got to take me an "innernational sex trip" soon!

TG

Now them first two girls set the bar pretty damn hi if'n you ask me. They both loved to deepthroat, got real wet an lemme plant my seed in 'em. Is that sumthin alla yoos does too?

This one was cuter'n could be and she even made a little cooin sound when her hair got pulled.

Photo: Fine 07

An this next one was a funny story! I was talkin w/the mamasan who was a hottie with DD's, askin her which girl was the wildest? Mamma told me to take this one, cuz she was one them there nymphos what liked sex a LOT

Photo: Mamma's Girl 08

Then I asked Mamma how come I couldnt take her too? an do you know what? She said yes providin she didn't hafta stay all night. Fellers, I had me a 19 year young nympho and a 30 year old mamasan with DD's in the bed taGETHER! Giddyup!!

The nympho and I had big time chuggin on them DD mammasan teeters together afore I got me a double hummer. Mamma was much more talented in the sexual stuff than the youngin, so I whispered in her ear for her to teach the lil nympho. Afore i knowed it, she was barkin out orders to the nympho as they laid their wall to wall shag all over me!

When it was time to finish, Mamma took my diddly outta her coochie, stuck into the nympho an yelled 'you cum now'. Just as I was windin up to throw the pitch i felt Mammas hands on my balls. She twisted my sack around 360 degrees an squeezed! Hehe Mamma made me come so hard in that little nympho girl - I durn near passed out!

I think i finally get why you fellers like them foreign models so much better'n the domestics

Funny video, that is different from the usual !
Keep up bro.
Zen.

Bammer, you seem to have a thing for pain. Fingernails up the ass, ball sack twisted and yanked...ya'll is one sick puppy!

Bwana I wish I knowed why so many womenfolk get off on inflictin pain on me?

well look what you just darn did there youngin. got me all riled up bout another trip. that them girlies you got there could twist my nut sack if n when they wants to too! wont pass up an opportunity to have pain inflicted on me either. just makes it all the more fun now doesn't it!

great report! fun video! what's the name of the second song?

Twoweekslate,
The second song is Freebird by Lynard Skynyrd.

I would like 2 see pic of the mommasan?

LQQKS like you had a great Time, thanks for the report.

NW

Seeins how thangs is slow on this site today, here's another day from ma trip

Fellers I gots ta admit - until i been to Angels City? I ain't NEVER had me sooo much pussy to choose from! A man could spend years there an never bang the same broad twice

Since I only had me 6 days? I figgered I oughtta bang 'em as fast as I could, so why not do two atta time? There's this one club name of Lollipop get reallll busylike on Fridays, an I went in there an asked the Mamasan to bring me some girls to buy drinks for. Specifically, I asked fer 18-21, hardbody spinners whod never dun had no kids yet (on accounta how kids makes a lady's coochie get bigger)

Well Mamma brung me about 4 girls, an when I asks if'n they like doin the lezbeeunn stuff, these two says 'Pick Us - Pick Us'. So whattya think I dun did?

I picked 'em

Photos: Peeps 01 02

After hearin all the girls tell me how shy they was, these two was anythin but shy! Hehe - no siree bob - they was tigers!

So when we was bout half way through the sexo, I asked my self 'Bammer, whatchew gonner do to make these two shine like the new pennies they is' and then it cum to me; i told 'em the one that was the better pussy likker'd get all the tip, an she could share it how ever she wanted. All of a sudden, theys lickin each otha like two kittens who done fell into a bucket a fresh cream

hehehehe they turned ma room turned into a first rate den of iniquitea - an me right in the middle of it. Lordy that was fun!

I like how when lil bammer went from one's hole to tha others they'd just go with it. There weren't none of that - wait you gotta change tha condom or wash or none o'that. At one point i remembered a scene from my favorit porno film, an i lined one up in doggie and put the other's head on her ass to where i could go in and outta ones cootchie or tha others sweet lil' mouth - just as pretty as I pleased.

Them's some real nice girls right thar. Yessir I liked them a LOT, even if the one did forget ta shave

Photo: Peeps 03

After I done about a dozen girlies in AC, it was time to go back to Maniller and fly home. Afore I left, i stopped by a place name of 'EDSA'. That thar place's like the Disneyland for Hookers! Twas a Monday night at 8 pm when I appeared an I was the only customer in the store. I looked in every one o them bars and seen me some beeutiful women.

Most all them girlies in AC is all short lil spinners but the selection in EDSA was way more varied. Tall, short, volupchewish an ever different type a feller could want

I seen me this one girl with big ol' hooties an barfined her back to my room. For some reason she wanted to tell me her life story afore she'd make love, so i jes sit there an listened to her go on, all the while starin at them lushious fun bags o hers. Them were flat out deeeeeeelishious! Check 'em out

Photos: Pillows 04 05 06

I musta gnawed on them puppies nigh on thirtee minutes afore she returned the favor; an I tell yew what - that lil knob gobbler knew what she was chewin! hehehe

When it was time for the sexola, she rocked my world with all them teeters and booty o hers slappin me silly. I figgered it'd be good to do a woman what had a lil meat on her afore goin home, what with the womenfolk in my town eatin too much MackDonnalls an all?

Photos: Pillows 07 08

Good thing I did too, cuz a few daze later I was knee deep in saggy, wrinkled ol american broads again like this ...heavy sigh....



oh an ma nephew redone tha homemovie for me to that kid named Rock's song. I's sufferein from PPD so it makes me smile to watch it ever now n agin. here tis

http://www.pornhost.com/0768838020/

wheee doggies Bammer bein a fellar Sutherner all I can sez is WOW. Thanks for the vidsios cuzin

Frank (I assume you're the real FrankP?), How many plates would you assume Hollywood eats out of the "free" food in the (now tame) "shows"???

Maybe Bammer should visit Los Angeles and take part in a creative writing seminar.

I have the sense that Bammer is now fully retired.

Probably retired to his bunker with his test tubes and beakers working on his young earth theory.

And is there any truth to the rumor that bowel perforation somehow enters into the picture?

Ma bowels is jes fine, thankya fer askin.

Laguy stikes me's tha type what thanks hes funniern he really is. I bet his momma prolly incouraged him a mite bit too much.

Hey Bammer, I hope it didn't hurt your head too much spending the last year and a half figuring out a response. Forgive me for saying this but I'm suspecting you're a mite bit slow.