Posted by kendricks on March 06, 2001 at 14:30:49:
In Reply to: ?? for Kendricks posted by Jizz on March 06, 2001 at 13:42:49:
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I don't find the question intrusive at all, given the info I have volunteered already! I realize that some of what I post seems contradictory and hypocritical at times, but that is more due to my own internal confusion and conflict than anything else. First, a little background - I started mongering in TJ when I was 19, and did some pretty extensive mongering in Asia when I was a marine. I actually went for almost six years of not sticking my dick in any orifice that did not belong to my wife, but started coming out of retirement about three years ago - one nevada brothel trip (TJ is much more fun and much less money), and then infrequent TJ mongering trips (with some innocent TJ trips, too). Then I got paranoid for some reason, and decided that this had to stop. Then I decided that bj's would be okay, and going for a lackluster bj with a hustler, left feeling unsatisfied. I laid off for a while, and then started becoming obsessed. I started resenting my wife, due to the lack of freedom I felt. This was around when I started posting here, and we had the discussion you are speaking of. One Saturday that I had to myself, I decided to just go and hang out. I ended up meeting a thrity-something girl that I really clicked with, had a great talk with, and who made me feel really good about myself, and I had a great time. Then I went back again about a month and a half ago, and had an absolutely phenominal, mind-blowing session, that I posted about. A couple of weeks ago, I went down in a strange mood and decided to nail an ice-cold hottie, just for the strange, perverted thrill that gives. Now, my glass house is propped up by the following rationalizations: I make no emotional ties, will not go more than once in a calendar month, always use a rubber, and see it as fun, harmless thrill seeking. I see my marriage as being BETTER now than it was before, since I no longer have the resentment I was carrying, and always have some excitement to look forward to in the near future! I really do love my wife, and would never want to lose her, but having sex with complete strangers is an irresistible turn on for me!!! So, I see my current life as having the best of both worlds, and hope it never ends. I hope this answers your questions, and welcome your comments. Since this is an anonymous discussion forum, I really don't have any problem with people asking personal questions!!! I am also curious, how do you feel about your decisions? Orale, Kendricks
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