Posted by RickFeliz on March 21, 2001 at 23:40:50:
In Reply to: whats in it for you posted by TJResearcher on March 21, 2001 at 21:40:05:
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from NTC's Dictonary of Mexican Cultural Code Words by Boye Lafayette De Mente Confianza (Cohn-fee-AHN-zah) - "Living on Trust" Historically, life in Mexico was not based on a rational, objective concept of right and wrong, or on laws founded on such concepts as equality and justice for all. Laws were primarily designed - and always enforced - to preserve and protect the religious and civil authorities in power, which meant they were generally used to oppress attitudes the authorities considered threatening, and to control all behavior judged as dangerous to the state and church. Because both the church and the state were adversaries of the people, the only viable choice the people had was to turn inward, to depend upon their families, close-knit groups and connections, not only to protect themselves but also to do things they could not do as individuals. In this context, the sense of family and community became especially strong. Conformity to the mores of the group was essential for maintaining good relations. A stylized etiquette based on the careful recognition of age, sex and social status became an integral part of the system, essentially replacing the universal concept of right and wrong as the prevailing morality. The personal charactieristics needed to make this system as humane and effective as possible were a strong sense of dignity and carefully programmed respect within families and groups. Because of the importance of group relationships, conforming to the prescribed etiquette often took precedence over what one actually did. This did not necessarily mean that individuals had to be scrupulously honest and candid in their dealings with each other or with outsiders. It meant only that they were expected to conform to the etiquette prescribed for each situation. These traditional attitudes and behaviors are still characteristic of most Mexicans, and one of the keys to making the system work as well as it does is "confianza (cohn-fee-AHN-zah) or trust". Because both business and professional connections in Mexico are primarily based on personal relationships, the trust factor must be especially high for people to make commitments and to follow through on them. Foreign businesspeople approaching Mexico for the first time invariably have to go through a period of building confianza on a personal level...Building confidence with Mexican authorities and companies should not be taken lightly or be unduly hurried. It should be as well planned and as conscientiously carried out as any marketing program would be. Of course, the key to building confianza in Mexico is to respect the customs as well as the feelings - and fears - of the people concerned, to conduct oneself in a dignified manner, to be honest and fair and candid, etc."
Your statement that "...someone cares about helping these women that most of you seem so damn fond of. Forgive me for saying so, but if helping them a little isn't enough encouragement I don't know what is." is right out of the white knights' playbook and I'm sure appeals to them. Forgive me for saying so, but your behavior so far definitely does not establish "confianza" with me. "Mejor para ambos" means ambos (both). So far your focus of attention seems to be primarily what you want. I see a similarity between your approach to the guys on this board and your approach to the sex workers in TJ. You expect a lot of people to give you time and effort that could be spent furthering their own lives in return for very little. 300 street girls spending 1 1/2 hours of their time for your interviews plus the time it takes to travel to your office for your convenience at the Mexican bargain rate of $10 per 15 minutes amounts to (300 * 1.5 * (4 * $10)) = $18,000. Plus allow a stranger to ask very personal questions about their private lives. If you don't think that's intrusive in Mexico, I suggest you read The Labyrinth of Solitude by Octavia Paz. My real concern is your thesis winding up in a computer database and facilitating others following you to Tijuana. You yourself have mentioned how much useful, free information you've gotten by reading this board. Have you given any thought to making a contribution. So far your posts have been one-sided requests for what you want. Regards,
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