Posted by diego on April 17, 2001 at 15:38:00:
|
I've tried a number of approaches for avoiding "those jealeous bitches" at Adelita, who naturally expect that if I've "done 'em once", then I'll be "doing 'em again". Here are some... 1) The 'ol "duck and cover" approach. The key is "to see them, before they see you". The only problem with this approach is when you've got 4 or 5 of the cunts trying to hunt you down - they will sneak up on you from all kinds of angles. Peering around the wall near the men's bathroom helps - you can duck into the Men's room if you see one 'acoming 2) The 'ol "hide you face in your beer" approach. Avoid eye contact at any cost. Hopefully they won't remember your profile. Stay well-hunched over. A big jacket helps with this technique(this technique is usually useless in the summer). 3) The 'ol "stay on your bicycle" approach. Keep moving - that's the ticket. Problem is - I'm getting too old for this approach. 4) The 'ol "no mas dinero" approach. They will invariably say, "Cuanto tienes, pues?" - "How much DO you have, then?". My stock answer is "Ya Gaste' todo!", "I already spent it all!". Then, of course, you must remember to move on to another bar, lest they see you buying another beer, and thinking "Que mentiroso!!" - "What a liar!!". 5)The 'ol "try a different watering-hole" approach. This is how you end up running into Tomas in Amor Latino and Las Chavelas. 6) The 'ol "I just got here" approach. Tell them you just got there, and are going to drink a few first, and you will look them up and fuck them later - then, split to another bar. 7) Here is a rarely used approach, which actually seems to work surprisingly well... the 'ol "tell 'em 'no - because you're ugly'" approach. You must say it with a bit of a smile on your face - then they won't smash your nose in. It is kind of like getting out of a ticket by making the cop laugh. Having a bit of a buzz on helps with this technique - actually, the drunker the better. However, sometimes this approach backfires, and they will start to pressure you even harder. 8) Here is a new one that I'm going to try - the "Groucho" approach. I've bought a cheap Groucho eyes, nose, and moustache disguise. The problem now is that the girls will think that I'm Redongdo.
|