Posted by rookie on April 22, 2001 at 19:27:08:
In Reply to: ROOKIE in response to your question posted by horndogg on April 16, 2001 at 13:48:29:
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Whether you believe this or not, I know EXACTLY how you feel. Its been a while since I came on the board, almost a week, and I almost missed your reply. Well since then my girlfriend decided she was ready to get married and since our relationship was as serious as it could get without being married she gave an ultimatum. It pretty much went like this.....I want to get engaged to get married next year, if you don't want to marry me then we should end it right here.....so there I was. It would probably help to say I'm only 25 and seeing that I have spent the last 7 years working and going to school I haven't had the time to do those things that I WANTED TO DO sometime in my life. So there I was and here I am, in love with her, so much that if it was 5 years from now I would probably say no without hesitacion but ITS NOT, ITS NOW. So here I am, do I marry and settle down? or now when I am almost finished with school (which should be done by December)do I take about 5 years to go and do all those things I have always wanted to do. Its not all about sexual fantasies and girls, its about taking trips and seeing things, but there's a freedom which I always thought I would have when I did them, one which would disolve if she or any girl were along with me. So what did I choose??? Well, I have thought about it and I am still thinking. I haven't spoken to her in 3 days and I think she now knows what I have decided. When I went in my mind through all the reasons to marry her and not to marry I end up with one thought....Marriage is Serious, I am not 100% SURE than I am probably best letting her go, not just for me but also for her, I'll only hurt her more if I change my mind later on, and I don't want to be 10 years down the road and blame her for me not enjoying myself when I was free. Did I make the right choice? My heart says no as I do miss her, and my mind is undecided at times as it stresses out over the decision which it and I both thought we had more time to make. I guess I should have but never did see that it would come down to such a decision, for me, it just came TOO SOON. I will try to find love again, I think. One day when that part of my heart which screams for adventure asks for security but until then I will be true to myself and no one else. I, after all, am responsible for my own happiness and if I don't make myself happy no one will. So my friend, if I may call you that after such a mesmerizing discussion regarding certain things men usually do not disclose, I just hope you are true to yourself and remember who you are responsible for making happy. Good luck, ROOKIE
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