I have never been on "sex traveller" vacation and now I want to take the plunge. I'm trying to figure out the best place to go.

Although I realize that paying for sex is inevitable in these situations, my real focus is using my status as an American to find a sexy chick with a good heart to settle down with.

I'm 40, in decent shape and am fairly good looking.

Latin would be my 1st preference, followed by Asian.

My budget is limited, but I could probably come up with around $2000 for a vacation.

Suggestions and comments would be greatly appreciated.

Gom you posted above in the health section that you lived in Cali and go to tj? Is that Cali, Colombia? Or just your abreviation for Cali, as in Calif/California?

Anyway, according to others and my own personal experiences; us Americans are quite desirable to the Colombianas. And many of them aim real high to please us in almost in "way"!

So learn to dance salsa and check out Colombia. Though I myself prefer Brazil:-)

Correction above: to please us in almost any "way"!

I thought that might come up SF.

California.

Colombia sounds great, but dangerous. I consider myself to be pretty tough, yet I wonder if for my 1st adventure I'd be in over my head in Colombia.

Being kidnapped would really put a damper on things.

But I do find the Colombian women to be the most beautiful in the world.

If I could get down there witha reasonable expectation of safety, I'd be all for it.

Brazil sounds great, but I speak some Spanish, and with Portegese I'd be at Defcon 5 re: language barrier. It also strikes me as a "screw your brains out while your there, see ya next time" type of deal, which, while certainly not a bad thing, is not quite what I'm looking for.

Yes or No?

Gom,

You could probably get married within five days of hitting the PI, if that's what you want. Those girls are usually looking for husbands and you would have a fun (and very cheap) time hunting around out there for the new Mrs.

The PI is one of the cheapest places to monger, the girls speak a little English and they like to get married. Sounds like a good fit for you.

Gomjabber, there is a big difference between mongering with the women in these countries and getting married to them. You may want to consider keeping the two potential pools separate.

If you do some digging around on this site, there are many threads that discuss the dangers of getting married to a working girl, with many of the posters having first hand experience getting burned in the process. If nothing else, do yourself a favor and take a few mongering trips before you start talking the "M" word. You'll get some experience under your belt and become savvy to the mindgames that can go on. Then you'll be on better footing to evaluate where you want to go with the "M" thing.

PS - I can't speak for Latin America, but you can easily do Thailand or the PI for $2000.

Murasaki, "you can easily do Thailand or the PI for $2000," that would be NOT counting airfare, right?

Including airfare, if you get a deal in the 600-800 range. That's for about a week of mongering. Longer stays will require some upping of the ante.

Gomjabber,

a topic I've seen on other boards as well.

There are guys who will tell you they pay for sex so that the chica will leave when they are done, and don't have to deal with her in the morning.

I'm not one of those, I like them there in the morning so I don' have to go out and look for my morning fix. And since I don't hobby at ALL stateside, the idea of finding a chica to take home and have fun with before going to work sounds wonderful to me.

That said, as others have pointed out in the past in other posts, these things tend not to work. There are exceptions, BUT .....

There are plenty of shitholes around the world where the ladies would love to leave, and the US of A would be a great place to come to. Someone mentioned PI, and while I've not made the journey yet, I find Filipinas second most beautiful after Japanese. From what I've read, I could go there and find a chica to take home easy, but from what I've READ, the thing to do is to find a non-pro.

Be careful out there.

EMK

I think if you marry any woman and especially a foreign woman of a culture you are not familiar with after only a short period of time you are rolling the dice and asking for trouble. I think it takes months to come to understand what you are really dealing with. There are no doubt many wonderful women who will make the best wife you could ever imagine but I don't think you can just fly into town and pick a winner overnight. You might get lucky or it might go terribly wrong. In my opinion there is no substitute for really knowing someone, in person over time. As for travel expenses, I did not keep careful track of expenses but my 5 days in Pattaya was $550 for the plane ticket plus I figure $100 a day so ~$1,050 total and I had plenty of cash available and was not attempting to hold to any budget. My tastes aren't really that extravagant but that was about the amount I naturally spent without making any effort to rein in spending. I am sure any of the girls I barfined would have married me on the spot though I am sure this would probably turn out bad.

Murasaki
If you do some digging around on this site, there are many threads that discuss the dangers of getting married to a working girl, with many of the posters having first hand experience getting burned in the process.

Yeah, I'm well aware of the axiom "never fall in love with a bar girl". Marrying a "working girl" is barely an option. I'm not trying to be judgemental, I understand this is how the girls survive in these places. But bottom line, the chick is a whore. Not someone I'd want to marry.

EMK
There are guys who will tell you they pay for sex so that the chica will leave when they are done, and don't have to deal with her in the morning.

Pretty harsh, EMK. Maybe one day I'll be that jaded. Not yet.

Besides, why pay if it aint necessary?

I Am Sancho
I think if you marry any woman and especially a foreign woman of a culture you are not familiar with after only a short period of time you are rolling the dice and asking for trouble. I think it takes months to come to understand what you are really dealing with. There are no doubt many wonderful women who will make the best wife you could ever imagine but I don't think you can just fly into town and pick a winner overnight.

Couldn't agree more Sancho. Perfectly said. There's practically no way to come into a situation cold, and ferret out the golddiggers and visa seekers in a few days and walk off with a trophy. It's asking too much.

I was thinking of doing pen pal stuff but that seems like a lot of work, plus I trust no agency not to rip me off.

But there's gotta be places where there's a lot of non-working girls around who would swoon for a squared away white boy, right?

I'll take it from there.

Cmon guys, you are the masters. The knowledge and intelligence I see on these boards is staggering.

Point me in the right direction.

Oh, by all means, Thailand and the PI should still be on your list. I was just pointing out that you might want to keep the pools separate. Plenty of non-working girls to work on a relationship with!

Gom, if you're not in a rush to get hitched? And have the time and some money? I would visit and compare Asia vs. Latin America.

I would visit Thailand and the Philippines, and then Brazil and Colombia. Of course, personally "been there, done that"!

SF can I get your take re: safety factor in traveling to Colombia?

Any non-monger I've mentioned it to tells me I'm
nuts and I "will get killed down there".

Thanks

Gom..if safety is your concern, just go to Catragena and stay on the beach at Las Velas. when you get home show all your well meaning friends your photos of the local lovelies.

OH..BTW... Don't follow within 500 feet of a military vehicle...LOL (just kidding)

Read Ctg archives for areas and locales of interest. They also have numerous marriage agencies where you can go, look at the girls pictures and set up meetings with them if you are interested.

SandmanformerCtgnut

Gom, as Sandman stated. Go visit Cartagena (Ctg) first, to get your feet wet; "lay of the land"! To practice and improve your Espanol. And try to learn to dance salsa.

Personally I speak Spanish fluently. And have already visited Bogota (Bog), Cali (Clo), and of course Ctg . The city of Medellin (Mde) is next on the agenda, hopefully in Oct.

I try to keep a low profile and don't act loud like a typical gringo. Though speaking Spanish allows me to ask and understand all questions and answers. I have yet to encounter any problem in COL. (knock on wood)!

If you want to settle down with a nice girl that would adore you, and you have the "means" to do so. You would be a great catch to most Colombianas, whom also really want to escape their bleak country anyway they can. sf4dfish

You guys F'n rock.

I read up on some Colombia trip reports last night and I was hanging on every word. I think it was yours, Sandman, and I want to thank you for such an informative and enjoyable read. You are an F'n man.

Sounds like Cartagena is pretty mellow.

My espanol is not great, but I'm not a complete beginner either. I went and got a Spanish course on CD for $20 and have been dutifully "workin it".

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I signed up for salsa dance lessons last night. LOL. Really, I did.

Last but not least, I sent away for the "Gringos guide to Colombian Women" from Gringos.com. Anybody have experience with this or am getting jobbed?

If so, I'm only out $25.

I'm gonna make this F'n thing happen, fellas, and if your interested I'll be happy to provide a "blow by blow" account from start to finish.

Thanks so much for all the comments, and keep em coming, they're great.

Meantime, I've decided to take a few days off next week and do some mongering in close by Mexico. It will be my first trip as an "Hombre" and I'm soo looking forward to enjoying my stay with the newfound perspective I've found here.

Thanks again.
Gom

If you do go to Ctg., look up Juan Ventura (he also has apartments available) Great guy who can hook you up with an English speaking taxi driver. You can hire flat rate and they will even accompany you inside places to help you negotiate if you want them to. They can also keep you out of places you shouldn't be.

Also, Gator, Hunter, Treeshark, Bonvvnt and several others are there regularly so look them up if you get a chance. Eddie Salence (Torre Centauro, 5th Floor) can be a pretty good source of local information. Someone can surely direct you to the marriage places with the photo books.

You will easily find the hookers but it sounds like you want more of a regular girl and a longer term relationship.

Now I mean this in all sincerity: You can find them everywhere. In the stores, in the restaurants, in the offices at the sidewalk cafes. Make eye contact, smile and strike up a conversation (even with limited Spanish). If they discover you are looking for a long term relationship as opposed to a short term quickie, the whole dynamic will change. It's almost like jungle drums will spread the word. You may find yourself fending off women. You can have your pick and age differences do not matter...not one bit!

good luck and keep us posted on your progress. This will be a fun one to follow.

These things can work out. My brother went to CTG and met a beautiful Columbiana and ended up marrying her. They've been married 23 years and she's as sweet a human being as you could possibly ask for. He didn't go over looking for a wife, but he found what he'd been looking for but couldn't find in the US.

Good luck, Gomjabber

Sandman, the stuff your giving me comes down from mountaintop, etched in stone tablets via thunderbolt.

A dumb question (of which more are sure to follow): How do I "look those guys up"? LOL. Stand in the street with a megaphone? I thought I was supposed to be keeping a low profile!

I'm sure the answer is found spread out in the trip reports/buddies section, but if you could help out an old alter boy, that'd be cool.

Also, I heard your passport has to be active six months before traveling to Colombia, si or no?

Mine ran out in '97. Gotta square that away, muy pronto.

I will post updates of my progress, to be sure.

Right now is lay low and prepare time. Gotta do the grunt work. This is a two part mission:

1) Preparation

2) Execution (umm, should I rephrase that when speaking in context of Col?)

Bwana, thanks for the encouragement.

When it comes time to play ball, this white boy gonna have his shit together.

Gom

Well, you can contact Juan at ittscol@hotmail.com

Hunter, Treeshark, Gator, Bonvvnt all have CH e-mails so write to them in advance and set up meeting times. If you miss them, many of them eat at Pacos in the old city or hang out at Mr. Babilas or Tu Candella.

Eddy Salence is esalence@yahoo.com

Juan knows most of these guys. BTW...Juan is not Colombian. He is from Spain and pronounces the J in his name. He also speaks English very well.

Please give him my regards. You might also ask him if the Bull Fights are in town when you plan to go. It is the "place to be seen" in Ctg. and quite the social event. Any lovely you hook up with would be very proud to go there with you. Get good seats (about $12.00) Will impress the shit out of her.

I did put a map of Ctg. in the archive section. It looks kinda small but you can enlarge it. Might help you to get the lay of the land before you go.

Regarding your passport? Not sure I know that answer. Sounds kinda funny though but stranger things happen internationally. Ya know, like you have to enter Brazil within the first 90 days of getting your visa there. I'd check with the Colombian embassy in Miami and make sure.

Great stuff, Sandman.

I appreciate your taking the time to reply personally like that. Thank you.

With the information you and others have provided, I really think I can pull this off.

I'll keep posting any pertinent updates.
Gom

How do I "look those guys up"? LOL. Stand in the street with a megaphone? I thought I was supposed to be keeping a low profile!

It is much easier to find those guys then you might think.

However there is one thing that you really need to consider first. Do you really want to get married now or would like to visit a few other places first??

Once you try Colombia, you may not want to visit other places. I have seen it happen more then once. So perhaps you might want to visit a few other places first. and sow a few wild oats. Costa Rica is really a very nice place to visit. Lots of things to see and do. And read a few reports about Rio/

Finding a wife in Colombia is not really hard at all. It will be more of a problems of trying to decide which one you want to marry.

I currently have two "wives" and have the problem of trying to figure out which one to bring to the US first. Will be going back in a week.. guess I will try to continue my story of trying to find the perfect wife.

take some time and think about what you really want.

if colombia seems to be the answer, there are a lot of people who can help you.

That's cool, thanks for the advice Treeshark.

Sandman squared me away with all the links I need so all's good on "contact" front.

As far as sowing oats... I'm just not much of a "hooker" dude, God Bless 'em, but it really ain't a scene I'm totally into. I've been stationed in Germany and have been to Amsterdam a few times and never really partook. Even when a hot chick in the Amsterdam RLD said she'd do me gratis.

It's about the diseases, I guess. I'm as horny a SOB as anyone else, but it's hard for me to totally cross the line with a working girl. I can't hold back, when I get with a chick and I'm into it... forget it, there's gonna be some serious fluid exchange. All you hard-core mongerers who have unprotected sex, I don't know how you do it, but my hat's off to you.

So thats why I'd like to find a non-working girl to hook up with, I mean, I know you gotta be careful with them too, but hopefully they wouldn't have been with hundreds (thousands?) of partners.

So, in that regard, Colombia does "seem to be the answer". I don't really want to rush into anything with a chick I just met, but who knows? Anything can happen.

Plus, I gotta hold out faith that I could hook up with beautiful girl who would be into me. I like to keep things positive. From all I've read about Colombia, it seems to be worth investigating and a real possibility.

And whose to say I couldn't do a little low grade side mongering while I'm down there.

I appreciate your interest and sage words.

One thing you could is chat up nice Filipino girls in the net and visit em, but also take a side trip to AC. I did that, went to the web site oneandonly.com, paid one month $24.95 and wrote about 40 or so of em, which I weeded to 4 to visit. All of them lived in provinces far from Manila and I told them about the others. Every one of them were college girls just killing time in internet cafes while not in school. Of course a lot of girls will be cherry and will want to marry BEFORE doing the deed, but a suprising number of them, even though cherry, will give it up. There are actually some of em who are indifferent to going abroad, mostly the ones whose families have money and own property, so they won't fake out they love you just to get here, then screw around behind your back (just check out some of the girls at Trophy Lounge or Honey Ko here to see what bad ones are like). While they are away at college their families aren't necessarily gonna find out they are gonna be with you so you can end up not having a chaperone along. Just take em somewhere nice, like my girl in Davao, took her to Pearl Farm Beach Resort and Waterfront Insular Hotel - special Filipino only combo she bought cost only $112 for 5 nights for both of us, and those are some fantastic places. Ended up taking that one along the rest of the trip. "Nice" Filipinas are jealous so make sure they are fuzzy on when you arrive/depart Manila (e.g., meet em in their province) so you can swing the side trip for mongering. I definitely would look for a "nice" girl to marry, not a GRO (works in bar) or someone with a poor family, and make sure she's liberal so you'll score. Free to chat in Yahoo for you (P20-40/hr for her in cafes), text her, email, cheap to call ($5 for 31 min to cell phone in provinces via phonecards), so it's not hard to stay in touch. Educated girls like college girls you'll find chatting/emailing will speak English extremely well, mine writes essays and stuff in her post grad course. Great idea to hook up with a nursing student, if she passes the CGFNS or marries you she can get a great job here as RN. Great thing about Filipinas is a lot of young educated ones actually prefer guys in their 40s, and they can be really passionate/gorgeous. BTW, terrorists are not waiting on every corner even in Mindanao if you are careful, go to nice areas, and have a Filipina along. Good Luck