This thread to address our decisions to go to these remote locations. I have met many folk that feel places like Thailand, Columbia, and Rio are known infamous locations for money, sex, and drugs.

Background on me, college educated 24 year old from Miami, Fl..speak basic spanish;

I am newbie to this, how do you vets address things like this as most Americans have a stigma with these locations?

My folks are worried about me going to places Columbia and Rio. I just want to go to places like Costa Rica, Rio, Cartagena, and Medellin.

I realize especially from particular women in my life (moms, wives, gf, maybe some co-workers)...they ask, "why are going to these place...like Columbia, or Rio De Janeiro as these are not common destinations. Moreover, places like Columbia have travel warnings on them so parents/grandparents are get suspicious." Go some where like Paris or the UK if you want to travel.

How do you avoid questions like "why are you going to columbia? are you into drugs or somethings?"

Let me know how you all handle these issues with parents, co-workers, nosy family members....thanks

Why do you tell people where you are going?

CaT,

well...in case somethings happens, especially if Im going solo to some of these places. Plus, I have nosy parents that cant fathom why...columbia, brazil?

So tell em your in Europe and will be moving around frequently . Let em contact you by e mail if they need to find you .
You're a grown man. Your Mom should not be that dependent on reaching you instantly. If you're married as your question may have implied - that's a whole nother ballgame. Might as well get divorced now if you're going to hobby.

This has been a big problem for me... Hence why I had to straight up lie on going to Philippines. The email thing works, and even cell phones can be forwarded, but being gone for 12 days and not sending family one picture looks suspicious.

Maybe we should share "tourist attraction pics" of safe places... hahaha...

I don't tell folks where I'm going usually unless it's for work. Since I'm on the road around 40 weeks a year, it never sets off much of a discussion unless off course I dissappear for 4 weeks over the holidays...

If your planning on taking frequent trips, you'll need to be more deliberate and cover your tracks if you don't want a lot of probing questions.

I don't understand the nosey parents part. Are you still living at home or something? If so you're shit out of luck, you need to pick a different hobby.

RT here.

How about the guy lives elsewhere and just has a good relationship with his parents, and they would notice if he just up and disappeared for a week or 10 days or something without notice or a phone call or anything?

Not that that's my situation or anything <g>. So give the guy a break.

RT

(Message edited by rtgooch on June 03, 2006)

Guess im lucky I have children with 2 women from Asia so we go back and fourth to visit family.



"I just want to go to places like Costa Rica, Rio, Cartagena, and Medellin."

Sounds like your not from a LATIN background!?
As I never been any place in south america yet im not sure but I would have no choice but to lie and say im on a trip to Mexico Cancun, Cabo Fishing or something!

My trip to D.R I said I was on a 1 week cruise so I could not/would not call anyone only e-mail then departed out of MIA and the day before I went out and took tons of pic's near the ships ports and had a great time in south beach.

Most can squeez in Rio for wanting 2 see the world famous Carnaval but Colombia..?
Thats Gangsta, Scarface & George Jung type of country's. Hats off to all that have been see you next year!!!

You could just tell them you meet a pen pal you wanna meet in person and she looks like Shakira

Tell them your going to visit an old sage known as LAG (LA guy) to learn all the ins and outs of fucking prostitutes and foreign legal matters. Just don't be "habitual" and you'll be ok.

I've never had to lie to anyone when I traveled to Central or South America. My excuse is that I'm going to attend a Spanish language school. No stigma there. In fact, I get alot of compliments from co-workers and relatives that I'm continuing my education. (If they only knew the truth.) Since you know "basic Spanish," this cover story should work for you.

I haven't figured a good cover story for Thailand.

Rio is a huge tourist city. You could spend weeks there and not see everything. BA also. I got over 1000 pics of Rio I'll send you a bunch if you need them.

I too have parent issues. I'm 45 and they still like to keep in touch. I don't live with them and haven't since I was 18.

I only go for one week trips anyways and usually I just tell them that it is business or I don't tell them at all. I take along my vonage set up and give them a call or two and it is from my home phone number so none is the wiser. I forward my cell and office phones to my vonage and receive calls from customers and guys that I have working out in Iraq and none have a clue that I'm 9 hours aways. If I'm not there to answer the phone they just leave a message and I call back just like I would if I were home.

What I haven't figured out was how the married guys get away with it.

If you want to keep a relationship with your family, this needs to be considered.

I made a trip to CTG. My brother-in-law told me that it kicked up a bit of a shit storm with my sisters worriedly speculating about whether I was a sex tourist. I never heard about it but my in-law said next time, don't say.

If I did not care about my relationship with my sisters, I would say fuck them, but I do. My brothers know, and for the most part don't care. Still, when we have an arguement, they make some telling comments. My parents are no longer with us so I don't have to fight that battle, and it would have been BAD. My mom would NOT of let it go, EVER.

Don't ask, Don't tell is not a very good option, but I have not found a better one. I think my sisters know but choose not point it out if I don't make them. We have a good relationship and I don't want to damage it so I follow my in-laws advise.

Don't think no one knows. What the hell are you going to think about a 46 year old single striaght guy that likes girls but does not date. Just don't make them have to do something.

I find mixing a lot of truth with a little lie is the way to go. We know why we are traveling and that colors the way we talk about destinations. Try this: tell your folks that you want to visit South America, you have never been there its relatively cheap and close by, lots of specials and deals. Ask them where they would go if visiting SA. Believe me; they will suggest Rio or BA. The same goes for Asia, you want to experience Asian or Buddhist culture where to go? Japan- to expensive, China to big, not safe to few people speak English. What about Thailand, cheap just a short flight to almost any where worth visiting in SEA. Buy a few travel books on Thailand and Rio believe me you will find hundreds of non-mongering excuses for visiting these places.

Keep Mongering.

You can most likely borrow LOTS of books on other countries from your local library. I just photocopy the specific pages of lasting interest. By working with the copier, you can usually get two pages from the book onto each side of the copy paper. Makes for less weight and bulk if you are going to take it with you on your travels.

The catalogs of most libraries can be accessed via a remote computer, so that you can maximise the usage of your time while at the library.

So I guess just saying "I'm going on vacation for a week and will call you when I get back" just doesn't work for everybody? I guess I'm blessed with family and friends who don't demand an accounting of where I spend every night of my life

Seriously though, guys, if you're married its tough, although if you travel for work you can always just say you're on a business trip. However, you're eating up vacation time that the wife is probably going to want you to use on her, so my advice would be that if you're married and like to monger, make sure you have a job that requires travel. This was a big conversation a few years back but there are are plenty of job categories that this fits into. Not many will take you to Rio or Manilla or Thailand but plenty are available that take you to border cities like San Diego and Tucson, where you can at least get some third-rate mongering in with the Mexicanas.

If you are married and still want to travel far, you need to have a good excuse and preferably a business that you run yourself, so that you can go for a week and not use up all of your vacation time and can still keep the family happy with a trip to Florida or whereever. I know guys with great excuses - business trips, Doctors Without Borders, etc - and I've heard some real creative ones as well. One of the guys who used to be on the board had the cover story that he was a CIA agent and needed to travel to foreign countries on short notice. It worked for a couple of years....

The logistics of going home to a waiting wife or snopey parents and/or family could be difficult. Things like passport stamps and boarding passes and whatnot are pretty straightforward, if you've been honest with your destination you're fine but if you've told them you went to Florida for a week, you have to ditch everything before you get home, and make sure you're passport is hidden somewhere. Credit card receipts are always tough, as are the statements from your credit cards, airline frequent flyer program, etc. The biggest thing I would think is laundry. Using Rio as an example, you won't notice it while you're there but on return all of your clothes, dirty or clean, will have "the Rio smell" to it. It's from the humidity and the polution from the traffic and everything I guess, and it's the same just about everywhere in the non-US tropical areas, but still, upon return, get your clothes in the washer ASAP. That will also help with the perfume smell, club smell, stray hairs, whatever that you picked up in whatever mongering venue you've been in. If you're a termas-only guy you don't have to worry about that at all, thanks to the highly evolved robe-and-slippers function that the termas provide.

When I went to Colombia I just told everyone I was going on vacation. My brothers are always going to some foreign country somewhere so its not very suspecius to anyone when I split. Im single & I can get away with it.

I showed my mother photographs of my trips to Thailand
The photographs of my Hotel
I said......look mum thats my Hotel room
And she looked at the photographs and said
"what are them woman doing in your room"
Well there for services
"You mean there cleaners"
No mum, there prostitutes
Really,
yes really mum
You make sure you wear a condom
Oh don`t embarrass me mum........etc

On my trip to Rio last year I bought back 2 hockey bags full of gifts. Gave them out as Christmas presents to everyone in the family. Really nice stuff that is Brazilian; paintings, jewelry, rugs, pillows, leather stuff, wood carvings, soccer shirts. Everyone asked me when I'm going back to get more? This whole sex tourism stuff seems stupid to me, if I'm traveling for sex I'm going Nevada, its a whole lot cheaper and easier.

Wow....u guys are very creative!!!! kudos....

you hit it on the head...if a single/married guy is working a 40-50 hr job and limited vacation time

Basically, people are going think what they want. If they feel some type a way about you, it just too darn bad! We are not breaking any laws, we are just enjoying a new culture.

This is what I gather tips from posts:

1) Know other non-mongering venues for each location (Thailand, Rio, Columbia) (books, magazine, AAA)

2) Make up some friends/penpals that you are visiting use Club Hombres for travel buddies (Columbia, Don in Rio, and Thailand..etc.)(I like this one....)

3) Call folks before they call u...especially if its holiday time and your overseas (Christmas, New Years, Thanksgiving..etc.)..just like if you were home

4) Tell them Specials/deals to this location as I come from Miami, Fl

5) Be honest...tell them..."I just want to visit for history, culture, and relaxation(screw some girls)."

6) Bring back evidence (pictures/souvenirs)

7) Keep up the "quality time" up if you are married/kids/sisters etc, especially to during holidays to keep sound relationships with people important to you

(Message edited by taboojw on June 04, 2006)

I often send updates when on my trips, and believe me, any destination has it's fair share of interesting places, and when your friends back home read these, any questions are answered.

here is one i sent while we were in medellin:


we were traveling over the slums in the mountains on a brand new cable
car, part of a multi million dollar public transit system here in
medellin, it was interesting on the way up the side of the steep mountain I
was looking out over a city of 1.5 million people literally clinging to
the sides of the mountains with a river running through the valley. It
is a breathtaking site, modern skyscrapers in the middle, by the river,
and shantytowns perched on the sides. Everything is green, lush with
trees, plants, and flowers, yet many clay brown rooftops emerging below.

on the way back down i just looked down at the many people living in
these houses, some with roofs of aluminum being held down by bricks, yet
hundreds of children, running, laughing playing.

the culture here is based on family, and the people are curious and
interested in America, but for the most part have no desire to leave their
families other than for travel.

the presidential election is on sunday and there are police everywhere,
riding around on motorcycles, one in front driving, one in back with a
machine gun. they are young, they are old, but they are friendly.

we were pulled over at a roadblock and they were great, we are
supposed to have our passports with us at all times, but only had our drivers
license, we were with a friend that lived here and he attempted to
bribe them and they refused and said no problem, enjoy your time in
colombia and come back.

we walked the mall which is bigger and nicer than most malls in the us,
the most expensive shops for a nation with both incredibly wealthy and
incredibly poor. the food of choice, steaks and chicken. you smell
the steaks in the foodcourt, yes there is a subway, but there are also
a number of carne shops and they grill up a huge steak with potatoes
and a drink for $7. in the mall we were approached by several people
asking us if we were norteamericanos and wanting to practice english,
inviting us to sit with them, talk with them, drink with them. there is
a major futbol game today with national, the team representing the
province for which medellin is the capitol. lots of green jerseys

everyone is friendly, they want us to come back for the festival of
lights in december, the festival of flowers in august (they have over 300
different types of orchids and create a parade of floats made from
flowers)

we are staying in poblado, a very wealthy section, a very safe
section, the young students stay up all night talking politics and drinking
aguadiente <an anise flavored alcohol) they ask us to join them and
next thing you know it is 3 am,

anyway need to run

ciao

First of all, you must realize that everyone knows what goes on in these places. You will not be able to say that you went to one of these places without someone suspecting that you had sex with prostitutes.

Lie to your family, friends and co-workers. If you tell them the truth, then you will run into problems. Some people have strong negative opinions on prostitution and once the cat is out of the bag, it stays out of the bag. You may never hear the end of it and it may permanently effect your relations with these people.

I revealed to a few of my friends where I went and what I did one time. There were a few that gave me the slap on the back attitude while there were others who gave me a lecture on how disgusting it was to them. I now tell my co-workers that I went to Italy and my family that I am going on a business trip to Georgia. I do my best to stay out of trouble so I wont have the need to call anyone back home.

The most important aspect of all this is the evidence you bring back with you. Its important to destroy all of the receipts and paperwork as soon as you get back. If you decide to keep anything, keep it in a steel lockbox. If you have a wife, consider a safe deposit box at a bank. Dont leave anything on the computer. Remember that your passport will have date stamps of all the places you go to so its important to keep that in the lockbox.

Lets say you are single and live in a studio apartment and dont have any concerns that someone will snoop through your stuff. Its still a good idea to keep everything locked up. The reason is that sometime in the future you may have a girlfriend or wife that lives with you. For example, lets say you have 100 pictures of scantily clad women. One of those pictures is likely to fall behind a desk or get lost in the closet. When your future wife finds them, then you will have some explaining to do.

I have a famous story of one time where I gave the keys to my apartment to a woman I was going out with. This was a long time ago before I entered the mongering scene. She routinely snooped through all of my stuff and combed through everything even sealed boxes in the back of my closet and files on my computer.

If you are married, there is a very simple way of not bringing back any evidence and that is to simply bring back nothing with you. There is one monger on this board who goes to Thailand with a bag of different essential personal items. He buys everything he needs there such as clothes. Before he gets on the plane at the airport, he gives everything away and gets on the plane with the clothes on his back.

The logic here is that anything brought back could arouse suspicion. The women's perfume is going to be on your clothes. A receipt might have been missed in your pockets. A piece of long female hair might have attached itself to your clothes.

Last thing and most important is that you have to make sure your computer is clean. The explorer will keep web addresses and surfing history. I use a program called Trend Micro Anti-Spyware 3.0 which cleans everything on your hard drive that could possibly be used to trace you. I also use Firefox as a browser and have it set to automaticly clean-up after I am done with it.

Good luck on your travels.

(Message edited by ironeagle on June 04, 2006)

You guys are all way too paranoid or concerned about what others think of you IMHO.

I work with nurses ,80 % of whom are Filipina, and they all know I go to the Phillipines and go to AC specifically. In fact I have shown them pictures of several of my " girlfreieds" and they comment on how nice they look. They roll their eyes and laugh asking me why I go there but all I have to tell them is I go there to have fun and relax. They tease me about going but in a lighthearted way not in a dissaproving manner. I doubt it has had any negative effect on how they think of me as they are still constantly trying to set me up on dates with friends or relatives.

As far as I know there is no law against having fun and getting away from the pressures of work .

As for family-- I'm on vacation . why do they need to know where I'm at ? They have my e mail and I am just as reachable as when I am at home.

"As for family-- I'm on vacation . why do they need to know where I'm at ? "
-------

Boy I wish it was that simple for me!

"You guys are all way too paranoid or concerned about what others think of you IMHO."

+1 for km.

If one is going to be taking regular trips, they have to get used to the idea of doing what YOU want and not worry and/or letting others' opinions affect/bother you. My first year or two, my folks were constantly pestering me and I made it clear that my personal choices are not open to public debate. It took a while, but it's now never mentioned. As far as work goes, keep it a secret. I made the mistake of telling a couple friends my locations, and word gets around quickly along with some joking about it. Not that it bothers me, but you certainly don't need your employers knowing about your personal business. Of course if your married, things are a lot more complicated. In that case, one needs to set priorities, i.e., which is more important mongering or married life, and make the approp. decisions.

What I do is set-up fake e-mail accounts (Hotmail/Yahoo) using virtual buddies who invite me on world-class fishing trips to Panama every year. Some of my virtual buddies live in Panama...retired expats...others live in the States (not near my home) with an interest to one day retire in Panama. I have a little story for each of them should anybody ask.

You have to be careful not to over-do-it, but a short e-mail from a virtual buddy or two with an invite and a few convincing details...then carefully shared by you via e-mail with those who may worry about you.

You send the e-mail to your loved ones..."Hey ma and sis...looks like I'll be headed to Panama again in a few months. There's another big fishing tournament coming up and I've been invited to join the team."

When these people see you have buddies going with you or meeting you, they are less worried that you will be kidnapped or be stranded all alone. For some reason..safety in numbers seems to appease most people who may worry about you.

Be careful about times and dates of these e-mails...you don't want them all 5-minutes apart and/or put out of logical order.

Also, you want to be careful with writing styles. Therefore, I will prepare an invite e-mail from a buddy on MS-Word...run spell-check to make sure spelling and grammar are up to snuff...then paste it in the e-mail and send it to myself with a Cc copy to a couple other virtual buddies. Then my virtual buddies will respond that they want to go...but some will have to check their schedules and get permissions from their loved ones. etc. Don't always make something a done deal all in one e-mail...leave a little doubt to make it realistic, then tell the loved ones later via phone that everything looks like it is working out and your trip is firming up.

Again, put in just enough to make it convincing...one virtual buddy can be a talker...another one is a man of very few words...yet another is somewhere in between...be sure to go on-line to do a little research to back-up your story just in case somebody quizzes you. If you are going fishing...have a few names of charter outfits in Panama...do not specify which you plan to use. Know names of some of the Marinas. Know approximate costs...(people at work love to ask how much as if they too may one day go on an International fishing trip)...know the difference between ocean and freshwater fish...study a little to back-up your story. (Don't forget to be prepared to tell everyone how well you did after you return..."Yea, no records on this trip...but Bob caught a big tuna (maybe a 100 pounds)...I caught a Wahoo this big (finger tip to finger tip)."

Be sure to keep it all e-mail with no bogus phone numbers. Then you must monitor the virtual buddy e-mail accounts, just in case somebody shoots them an e-mail asking questions. If anybody you know goes so far as to contact your virtual buddies (on your behalf), they've gone too far and the virtual buddy response should be tastefully toned to snipe at whomever is asking questions..."Hey, who invited you? Hey Bob, I didn't realize you are still living with your mommy and daddy...what are you now 40?" You want the sniping remarks to be just strong enough to embarrass whomever is checking up on you.

Good luck.

AJ

Wow that's involved man! So what do you think to yourself when someone says:

"Hey AJ, did you catch anything?"

Hopefully you did not catch anything fishy... hahaha....

I basically take pictures of the most dangerous thing I do when I am there. I also travel with the same set of buddies everytime. One being married and NEVER partakes in the girls. He just likes to hang with us, he's deeply in love with his hot Korean wife.

Since he is with me, my wife trusts me. She has no desire to do daredevil stuff like I do when I am in SA. So she just stays away.

I actually married my wife after a Thailand trip. I told her I couldn't imagine being one of those guys with two twenty year old hookers when I'm 60. So I think the fact that I married her right after a trip like this allowed her to trust me.

But my excuses for travel are starting to wear out. My new story is to say that I am buying Real Estate. Since we are investors, she is OK with that.

By the way, anyone want to use my Apartment in Medellin? (Coming Soon!)

taboojw, I suggest you DiscusSearch for "Don't Get Busted" with match=AND

(Message edited by the_senator on June 06, 2006)

In many post i keep seeing -
"everyone knows what goes on in these places"

Trust you don't half to travel 1/2 way around the world for sex with prostitutes.
You can book'em right online in almost any city!

Shit in the "BAY/NY/LAS VEGAS/LA"
YOU CAN GET A PIECE OF AZZ FASTER THEN A PIZZA!!

If your single just go on vacation ...... Fuck'em if they ain't paying for your trip!