I recently provided comic relief for a gathering of Asia veterans by bringing along a newbie who couldn't get out of his own way. Instead of boring you with the sordid details, I'll report what I learned and leave the specifics to your imagination. I also encourage you to make your add your own recommendations.

And there's also the contest: name the nationality of the girl in each picture.
(Hint: girls from 4 different Asian countries are included.)

Shall we get started? If you plan to travel with a buddy, first ask yourself:

Is it his first time?

Does he assume you'll be sharing a room? (After all, he reasons, you can take turns bringing girls back... 8-)

Will he appreciate your efforts to show him the ropes, or will he presume that you are his personal assistant?

Will he, despite your urging to pack light, bring enough stuff for a permanent move?

Does he have idiosyncrasies or accessories that will make it difficult to get through airport security?

Does he have the attention span of a fruit fly?

Does he ever learn from his mistakes?

Can he function if left to his own devices, or will he require constant attention?

When you are in the throes of passion with your girl, will he knock on your door insistently because he can't figure out how to work his TV remote/cellphone/laptop/room key?

Will he covet any girl you're with because he's afraid that he might be missing something?

Will he occasionally pick up the tab?

Will he expect you to be hungry/sleepy/ready to go whenever he is?

Will you have to wait for him?

Will it be possible to make simple plans and stick to them?

Will he ask the same questions over and over?

Will he heed your warnings, or walk in front of a bus to see if it's really dangerous?

Will he insist he has a better understanding than you do after 48 hours on the ground?

Will he expect the heathens to immediately recognize the superiority of his enlightened perspective?

Will he insist it's OK to take pictures/videos of anyone and everyone?

Are you sure you can stomach daily exposure to his world view/political opinions/sense of humor?

If he embarrasses you, will he notice/care?

Will you have to waste precious time defending him/bailing him out of jail/taking him to hospital?

Will you go home feeling like you need a vacation?

Will you wish you'd brought your wife/girlfriend/worst enemy along instead?



Now for the contest. Remember, these girls are from 4 Asian countries. He who names the right nationality in the most pics wins.

Photos: Giving Thanks CountryA 01 02 03 04 05 06 07

Photos: Giving Thanks CountryB 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08

Photo: Giving Thanks CountryC 01

Photo: Giving Thanks CountryD 01

Tujunga,

A= PI
B= Suburban HK, AKA CHINA
C= OVerpriced Thailand
D= HK Proper or, macau?

Several of your questions made my butt pucker?

I've been on both sides of the equation (played affirmative/negative, i'M white/you take black) several times here with some of the most seminal posters in the history of CH.

Bottom line: If your amigo had ONE insight into whoremongering, I bet you would have BOTH been better off. Take, take, take relationships? We;;, uhh, maybe you got a free beer somewhere along the line?

Will he utterly alienate your friends and compadres with his incessant questions and arrogant refusal to process the answers?

A is PI
B is China
C is Indonesia
D is Thailand

Is the first thing he says to one of your friends at the KTV is,

"You it would make things sound better if you turned up the volume of the music and turned down the volume of your microphone"

"Do we need to exchange the chinese money we got out of the ATM here in Chang Ping before we go to Chang An?"

A is PI
B is North Vietnam
C is Cambodia
D is Thailand

Good wingmen are hard to find, your list of questions had the same affect on me as a Steven King Novel.

BTW as I write this I am sitting at Cape Town Airport and there is the cutest Russian girl sitting at the next table.

To be honest i would avoid taking someone else.
from your above never share a room with a friend, remember your mongering you want to bring a woman back any time of the day.

I once had a Pattaya monger who wanted to go to Phnom Penh cambodia for the first time with me, i prayed that he would change his mind but came along, when we got there he dragged me down by saying he didn`t want to go here or there.like he didn`t want to go to martini`s because it was 2 in the morning and could be "dangerouse", in the end he went back to Thailand early and he expected me to go with him, i said "no im staying", when he left i had a great time and been going to PP on a regular basis sinc then.

Mind you when we meet up in Pattaya he allway`s ask about PP, if he wants to go with again we`ll have to make rule`s this time.

Hilarious post, my bro. Sorry to hear about this disaster, I realize how valuable our vacation time is these days. But glad you can now see the comedy in this after the passage of some time.

I met the dude in question for 20 minutes and he was quite demanding about interrogating me for details, biz cards, etc. Just the tip of the iceberg as I later find out about his antics. But he takes the cake for all-around weirdness and self-centered-ness.

Thankfully, or luckily, the vast majority of the dudes I've travelled with have been way cool and helpful -- give plenty of space and courteous. One or two have not (one dude almost started a riot with a Swede in Blue Nile over spilt beer). I chalk up the bad expces to not doing my research (met them once or at the destination), I usually like to meet dudes with some posting history on this or other boards now.

I met the dude too.

Kinda surprised you brought him along.

He tried my nerves after about 15 minutes, 15 days with that guy would be a real challenge.

He was rather thick, and would not heed advice.

The bargirls in Thailand are going to have a field day fleecing him if he comes back to stay.

I think its great to bring a buddy, but you have to bring the "right buddy".

I once brought along a friend on a trip who supposedly had experience on other trips by himself. After a few days, he appeared visably disgusted by what was going on around him. He then lied to me, told me a story and got back on a plane back to his home after a few days.

I avoid bringing people along with me because they might spoil the trip with drama or problems. I certainly did not appreciate the memory of this guy telling me a story and turning tale on me during what was supposed to be my vacation which I spent my cash and time.

I would love to bring along a buddy to share the memories, but I cant find anyone who will give me 100% guarantee that they wont do anything foolish or spoil the trip.

My priority during these trips is to bed as many women as possible and everything else is strictly secondary.

Can you guys imagine what Giblet and Don must put up with in their business?

LOL! Fortunately, Don and Gipletpie are pretty discrete. Imagine the stories they could tell and the weird requests they've received.

Finding the right traveling companions is key. Going solo is OK but the pleasure of a good trip is increased by orders of magnitude with the right partners in crime. The wrong one can absolutely ruin a trip. Due diligence is necessary before agreeing to travel with another person, for certain.

you are right Sandman, I can only imagine what Gib and Don go through. I sure wouldnt want me as a client.

As far as traveling buddies, I travel quite a bit with Whitty. He is probably the perfect travel partner. If it weren't for him, I would have missed a lot of sights, etc. We have the same taste in girls so we alternate first pick. On the political side, we just stay away from that subject. Thanks Whitty! looking forward to Thailand. AZ

LOL! This is the first I heard of the ATM/currency question, but it's vintage bonehead.

The karaoke story I remember - he did it 2 days in a row before I suggested he talk to the DJ instead of ordering fellow partyers around.

I'm still baffled by his habit of asking the same questions over and over while disregarding replies.

As for the contest, some of you are right some of the time. I daresay it would have been more challenging as originally submitted, requiring you to guess the nationality of each pic. For reasons of his own, Hombre grouped the pics into 4 cuntrys (pardon the puntry).

A - Philippines
B - Hong Kong
C - Thailand
D - Indonesia