The Bangkok of Russia, where Russians go to have cheap sex.

First stop, Zvoni.org, where the girls cost 400 rubles an hour (maybe $13 or $14), and the driver to and from my hotel cost another 250 rubles. Since the girl was so cheap, I did 2 hours, and blew a big $28 on her.

This will probably shock those of you who know me, but I decided to go upscale for some VIP mongering here in Siberia. This time, I went for a new sauna, located on the left bank of the Ob river (the city is divided in half by the Ob river, which then flows in to the Arctic Ocean, waaaay up north). The sauna charged 60 rubles an hour (about $20) which is real money, even in TJ.

Virtually all saunas offer girls as an extra, you just have to ask the nice ladies who run the sauna, and they will call a dispatcher to get you as many girls as you want. The trick is to give them time. Either you can sit in the lobby and wait for the girls to come (generally about 20 minutes or so), or you can do what I have learned to do, which is to rent the sauna for an hour and request that the girls come for the 2nd hour. This gives you an hour to use the facilities, which generally mean dry sauna and jacuzzi, while waiting for the girls to show up. After a day in the ice and snow, heat does wonders for one's morale. Moreover, giving the dispatcher extra time allows them to round up a better assortment of girls.

OK, flash forward an hour, and in come the girls and I get to choose from 2. Well, there was no contest, one of the girls was a Playboy special, at least 5 foot 10 inches tall, 38 inch bust, a brunette with one of those late 1960's hairdos that the girls in Playboy used to have, along with similar makeup, and nice bronzed skin (she claimed that she was part Altai Indian, which maybe I believe). 19 years old. Of course, little to no English. Oh, the charge for the girl was 1000 rubles for an hour, about $33.

I could go on and on about this one (Paolina), I hit the jackpot this time, she was definitely higher class than the 400 ruble girls I had been doing. Girls her height in TJ generally weigh 30 or 40 pounds more, and still want to charge newbies $60 a throw for bad sex.

One nanosecond later (but not soon enough), she was naked, and we were going from the jacuzzi to the sauna, back to the jacuzzi, etc, for the next 20 minutes or so, and then it was into the "bedroom", with quotes because it was more of a leather bunk set against the wall in yet another room. The great thing about this bunk was that its height, since I could put Ms. Paolina on her back, with her legs in the air, stand up against the bunk and have a go at it, while her all natural, bronzed and very large breasts bounced in rhythm.

This is the big problem with really hot girls, if they are really, really good, your reaction is to come in about a minute. So, here I am, putting the girl through several positions, and I was fighting the impulse to finish NOW. I mean, just looking at her was almost enough, and here I was impaling her with her marvelous buns in the air, and then her extremely long and bronzed legs thrown back behind her head, and this last one did me in.

Unfortunately, Ms. Paolina then proceeded to whine about a tip (in Russian, but I can understand whining in many languages), so after we got dressed, I threw her a 100 ruble bill. Her dispatcher then showed up, and off she was, back into the snow. Meanwhile, the two nice ladies who ran the sauna then told me to sit in the lobby for a while, for no good reason. After about half an hour, some female relative of theirs showed up for no particular reason, and I was told to talk to her. But that's another story.

Hitting the Jackpot

The prime reason for mongering in Novosibirsk is the supply of hot and cheap women, this is why the city is called the 'Bangkok of Russia'. Most of my adventures, however, ended up as what Russians call "VIP" mongering, ie upscale, and more expensive girls, sort of the Executive Massage of Novosibirsk.

Today, I decided to go downscale again, way downscale. I checked out the local newspaper, and found a salon that offered no frills, 400 ruble an hour girls (they don't say that in the paper, they just give a telephone number, and you have to work out the details over the phone). During any one telephone conversation, I generally understand about half of what I am told, so I usually get the gist of it. So, I was instructed to call the salon back when I got to a certain payphone at a certain address. The payphone was real easy to find, it was right at the street corner, the problem was that I didn't have the right card to pay for the phone call. So, off to the post office to buy a card. Except the cards weren't in the post office, they were in the telegraph office next door. Bummer. So, I bought the card, it cost 25 rubles or so, trudged back to the pay phone, called the salon, and some girl jabbered something at me that sounded like "I am coming to get you", so I told her I would wait, and I did. Within 5 minutes some girl showed up and told me to follow her, a good thing because I was just about a minute away of dying from the cold.

OK, it turned out that the salon was half a block from the address given for the pay phone, they were clever, since the people in the salon could monitor the phone from quite a distance away. After some trudging, I entered the salon, which was just another apartment, and was welcomed by a group of girls. I was ushered into a rather sparse bedroom, and the woman in charge of operations started talking to me in Russian, but using words I didn't understand. As is normal, I was able to resolve the issue by asking questions using words I understood. So, the deal was 400 rubles an hour.

In walked 3 girls for me to choose from, 2 were so-so, one was maybe a 6 or 7. I chose the 7, who seemed rather reluctant to participate, she was sort of hiding in the doorway. After the usual shower, the girl (Alexandra) walked into the room wearing a robe, and off came the robe, and I realized that the girl wasn't a 7 she was at least an 8, maybe a 9, about 5 foot 5 inches, very large breasts, only the hint of widening at the hips, very tight, and had the common Siberian tanned look.

I am finding out that the Russian hooker playbook is somewhat limited, they either know how to do an initial massage and then whip on the condom, or they skip the massage to put on the condom, either way, the condom gets on real fast. OK, for $13 who am I to complain? After an extended CBJ, she mounted me, and began an extended up and down, during which I considered the possibility of my having a hip displacement.

So, we changed positions, I put her on her back with her legs in the air. This one didn't have the longest legs, but was very flexible, she could extend her legs sideways to the point that I could barely touch them.

Then, it was sideways, she was on her back still, but one leg to the side, and the other straight up, so that I could hold onto the leg for some traction. This was the position that got me. Normally, I would have held out for more, but for $13, what the hell. So, I feel backwards onto the bed, and began asking her about her background, it turns out that she was from some small city some distance away from Novosibirsk, and was just in town for a couple of months to pick up some cash.

After that, I showered, and gave her a 200 ruble tip, which she acted like she had never seen before. I mentioned an interest in going to a sauna the next day, and that seemed to get her all excited (ie, getting another big tip), this provoked a flurry of activity as the other girls scurried to get info on nearby saunas. OK, having the info on hand I said 'hasty banana', and was out into the cold again.

If you're ever in Novosibirsk, call 11-05-24, and ask for Alexandra, you will get your 400 rubles worth.

Thanks Explorer. I'm keeping Alexandra in mind. I'm sure Novosibirsk is right next on my agenda, since I speak and write fluent Russian and know my way around Siberia blindfolded.

On a serious note, those models in Perfect 10 are so hot with their natural tits and tight bode they kick the playmates ass. Most of them are Russians or from the Ukraine.

However, according to my Russian Mafia friend, there aren't that many Russian model types and some of them are in USA.

(note to FBI : I'm kidding about having mafia friends)

There is a surplus of model types in Moscow, go to Nightflight, and you can have all you want.

It was the last night before leaving Novosibirsk, and I had just done a $13 chica to the point that I was really drained, and just thinking about calling it an early night. But, I spent a few minutes reading the sex ads in the paper, and noticed a woman (Lena) advertising herself as "30-ish, exotic sex", and gave her a call. The package was 600 rubles an hour, about $20, and the place was on the other side of the Ob river, but what the heck. I walked out of the hotel into the cold, found some guy parked by the bus stop who gave me a ride to Lena's apartment. Once again, it was necessary to call Lena from a pay phone stuck on the side of the building at the address I was directed to, and shortly some girl showed up to take me to Lena's apartment.

Once there, I took off my jacket (this is a big production in Russia) and my shoes, and made myself comfortable on the sofa. Since I was the first and only American ever to be in Lena's salon, the girls were somewhat at odds how to react. Lena herself was indeed 30ish, short getting round, and looked like a Mexican with no Indian features, she would easily fit into one of the corners at Adelitas, charging $40 a pop. The other girls were on other sofas, and in some of the bedrooms, maybe one was with a client. This was rather strange, since I could hear the girls whispering to each other, but couldn't see them.

Anyway, Lena escorted me into her bedroom, and we began the session. It turns out that Lena's exotic sex is similar to the infamous Rosa Maria of TJ, a BJ plus more. Waaaaaaay more. Lena had moves that RM could stand to learn, and my sexual organs still haven't recovered, maybe never will. She got me to come within 10 minutes, stroked me back to life, and I was ready for round two another 10 minutes later. In the bedroom, she was a real honey, very affectionate.

Once we were done, I was led outside to the sofa, where one of the girls called a taxi. This led to a considerable wait, since the taxi had to call back to confirm the order, and clients were also calling in. Meanwhile, other girls were walking back and forth from the bedrooms half naked, clients were ushered in, business was being conducted all around me. Finally, the taxi showed up, and I ended up paying the taxi $4 for a 15 minute ride back across the Ob river into downtown Novoisibirsk, ready for a good night's sleep.

Great reporting, Explorer. You are truly a trailblazer. I'll look these gals up the next time I'm in Novosibirsk...

OK, it's my last day in Siberia, and not wanting to take a chance on something new, I go back to the 400 ruble an hour salon that I went to the previous day, and ask for the previous girl. Note that it really easy to get to the salon, since its right next to one of the metro stops in Novosibirsk, the only hard part is making contact with the salon, since they are located in a locked apartment building, and someone has to come down from the apartment to let you in.

Anyway, I called the salon via the pay phone at 7 Gogol Street, right next to the metro, and the girl I did the previous day (Alexandra) came down to get me. She had been out dancing all night, and was pretty wasted when she showed up, but it was OK for me.

I decided to go for 2 hours (at $13 an hour, what the heck), and took my time with her. Having a few moments to reflect, I realized that this girl was strikingly similar to a chica I knew in TJ, Esmerelda of the infamous Hong Kong Bar, at least what Esmerelda looked like when she was a newbie, as many of you know, the beers and time have taken their toll on once what a fairly hot body. Well, Alexandra was Esmerelda redux, down to the bare beginnings of some cellulitis on her round and getting larger - but not yet too large - butt, she could have been her sister, except for her tan lines.

So, for you TJ veterans, if you can imagine a 2 hour session with a young and thin HK Esmerelda for $26, well, that's pretty much mongering paradise (at least compared with TJ, where guys pay $50 for a half hour with the current Esmerelda).

The action was similar to the previous day, lots of rolling around, different positions, I was pretty burned out on women by this point, and was basically just enjoying her body rather than going for a big finish (also, I have been taking some time to work on my Russian during these sessions, since I am finding that working girls use a very different vocabulary than the other people I run across). While we were wrapping up, I got the impression that the girl was interested in something else, maybe for me to make contact when I got back to California, but I was out the door before that conversation was finished. You guys that are looking for wives should check her out, though.....

Hi there-- What type of place did you stay at? Hotel -- Apartment???

Anything else to do while you are there? Nightclubs????

Thanks