I was wandering aimlessly along Rev after leaving Aztec massage and decided to stop in and check out this club. It's actually quite nice inside, by tj standards anyhow. Once I was inside the hustle for drinks, tips, ladies, etc began. They're brutal. I've never had so many waiters rush me at once. There must have been 8 or so all yelling "Drink amigo?" as they sprinted across the bar. Anyhow, I got my beer ($4) and settled into a seat at the stage. The stage is kinda cool. It isn't the standard square stage. It kinda curves around the club, thus creating a lot of stage seating. A chica named Paulina plops herself into my lap and lays it on thick, in a good way though, lots of groping, flirting, etc. She didn't even ask for a drink for quite awhile. Eventually she asked. Ladies drinks were $6. Once she had her drink the lapdance sales pitch began. $20 for one dance. I just laughed. she then offered 2 dances for $20. Still too much. She then offered 3... then 4 songs for $20. Ok now that's a good deal! We went to a area in the back sectioned off by a long curtain. A waiter followed us back and requested payment for the lapdances. I've had good luck with Rev waiters giving me correct change, so I didn't think twice about paying with a $100 bill. My mistake. For just a moment after handing him the money I was distracted by my chica. When I turned back to the waiter, he was holding out a $1 and saying "it's $20 sir". Normally I'm not easily excited, but this pissed me off. I argued with him for a couple minutes, then lost my cool somewhat and got up. My intent was simply to be on my feet while demanding my money. I think he thought I was going to punch him. He says "ok ok" and runs off. My chica says "if he doesn't bring your money, I'll go get it". Bless her little heart. She won my loyalty with that. We begin the lapdances, the waiter brings my $80 change and then has the nerve to ask for a tip. LOL! The lapdances were great. She gave me pretty good mileage, but didn't quite bring me all the way home. We then sat, groped, flirted, etc, for an hour or so. Turns out the house gets $10 of the lapdance money and on the $6 ladies drinks she gets $2. When the waiter returned and asked me to buy her another drink I declined and when he left I gave Paulina $3. She was most pleased. She never did make any mention of going to "the hotel", so I'm not sure if any/all the ladies go. At one point while she was away from the table a waiter came over and asked if I wanted to fuck. I replied that he wasn't my type. His english was nonexistant so the humor was lost on him. Overall I would recommend this bar for tj veterans that know the score and enjoy lapdances, groping, etc. Just be sure to have small bills. Paulina wasn't a super hottie, but there were 3-4 super SUPER hotties there.

Dude, Aloha Club ranks right up there with Bambi as THE BIGGEST GRINGO CLIP JOINT ON REVOLUCCION.

I can't believe you "just handed him a $100 bill"! Of course he is going to pull the old switch the bill trick! You said "be sure to have small bills"... Jesus, man - NEVER give anything over a $1 bill to one of these assholes without looking them in the eye and TELLING them what the denomination is. This has been mentioned on these boards A MILLION TIMES. Somebody needs to create a FAQ for newbies - it just gets real old hearing about the same old ripoffs OVER and OVER again... say, have you tried THE CHEESE PLATE at Tropical?... do you know how to GAURD YOUR DRINK so you don't get MICKIED?... have you had the privilege of being accosted by CHOKE-HOLD BANDITS? have you noticed that most of the girls at Bambi are awfully large, and talk with a deep voice?... by the way, like Bambi, I think more than half the "girls" in Aloha were/are actually dudes!

El Critico...Thanks for the post. As you noticed you were the first to post on this place on this board. Obviously it is not one of the favorites of most mongers who visit here. Aloha Club is one of the original clip joints in TJ. The waiters are in business to rip you off whenever they can. They just hope your guard is down.

These kinds of places piss me off so I don't go often. When I do go I am ready for battle

Diego writes: "Somebody needs to create a FAQ for newbies"

Good idea!! Let's see if maybe Brockton O'Toole will write a FAQ!

El Critico, I commend you for escaping Aloha with a good time. This is indeed one of the most notorious joints in TJ for scams, hustle and gender confusion. Sometimes it just comes down to being in the right place at the right time.

You have now reported good times at two of the least favored Revo joints...Pussycats and Aloha. Now the ultimate challenge...I DARE you to have a good time at El Zoro!!!

Diego, in your litany of hackneyed posts you forgot to tell him how to dodge and flee when the cops are chasing you in the Zona...

Erip, Gracias amigo! I'm not familiar with El Zoro, but as long as it isn't a strictly gay bar or something, perhaps I will take you up on that challenge.

HEY! I had a damned good time at Zorro Bar!!! During the 3 1/2 minutes we were there I kept hearing all about how amazingly attractive all the dancers that Redongdo lusted after were! Of course a man of discriminating tastes like myself wouldn't screw any of them with WF's dick! TMonkey's either!!! Good luck to anyone that stumbles in that place. And if you know you're going ahead of time, tell Red, so he can join you and point out all his favorite 'hotties'!

El Critico, on your impending visit to El Zorro Bar, here are some gift suggestions to bring along for the Ladies:

- Disposable razors
- Teeth

Ok, that scares the hell out of me! If I go, I'll be sure to wear a hazardous materials suit and chastity belt. It'll be quite a challenge to somehow have a good time with all that gear on, while surrounded by toothless TVs. Perhaps I'll climb up into the rafters and drop $1 bills. The insuing chaos when they fight over them might be fun to watch!

El Critico, I can see that you are resourceful and that may account for your ability to find a rich and tasty creamy center inside a lima bean. Hey, ever see a Ringo Starr vehicle from the 70's called "The Magic Christian"? Your El Zorro agenda evokes the notorious final scene of that film.

Btw, there certainly are some real ladies at El Zorro. However, if you have any taste at all, you'll select one of the TVs!

Hey Porker!

Awww c'mon, don't give away the best kept secret in TJ! Actually the women there are a little...aged...in fact one claimed Porker was her love child and tried to nurse him!

El_Critico,
Your lucky they only took your $100! I bet they took more! And your not telling us.

Dont' you guys know that the Aloha bar is one of the biggest ripoff bars on Revolution. half the gals are TV's and they do take wallets. Just like the San Sewage and Bamie. Plus the beer price is negociable too. Just say you want 2 beers for $2 or $3 on Friday and Satuday nights. And never bring anything over a $5 bill.

It's funny, I'm at the point I can meet a monger and in 30 seconds I can tell if he's going to get ripped-off. Most Mexicans can do it in 3 seconds.

You guys are amazing!

Westfargo...

Erip Writes: "However, if you have any taste at all, you'll select one of the TVs!"

LOL!! Now that's REALLY scary!

I haven't seen that film, but I'll keep an eye out for it.

I do employ a few tactics and have some personality charateristics that I believe are the reason I am able to have a good time in the Rev bars for not a lot money.... I'm never responsive to the hottest hottie it the place. Typically they just want to work each gringo for maximum $$ as quickly as possible. Instead I select, or allow myself to be selected by one of the chicas in less demand. I usually buy them a drink, but when the waiter comes by 10 minutes later to solicit another drink for her before her glass is even empty yet, I decline and instead give the chica $3 once the waiter is gone. That's $1 more than she would have gotten for the drink, and I save $3 + tip. I've found that the chicas like this a lot and wont touch their drink again as long as I keep tossing a few dollars their way now and then.

If they attempt to negociate for hotel time, and I'm interested, I act only mildly interested, but I'm not very responsive on the subject. They usually end up talking themselves down in price quite a bit before I've even haggled with them. Then when I do haggle, I get the bargain basement price.

I believe the chicas find my desire to learn their language charming, and find my ineptness at it cute.

If a song comes on that I know the words to, I sing to the chica. That may sound corny, but they love it. I sing in that very high pitch tennor-alto range that melts womens hearts... like Vince Gill.

If I like a chica, and intend to make her a regular, I tell her early on that that I'm cheap, and she isn't going to make a bundle off of me in any one visit, but that I will come see her again and again, thus putting lots of $$ in her pocket in the long run. I make this offer even sweeter by letting them know that if one of their regulars that does spend big money comes in, they're welcome to take off and I'll come back later.

I'm very cheerful and happy and I allow it to show. Many of the men they deal with wear their poker faces the entire time and I think the chicas find my attitude refreshing.

...and bottom line: if after all this they don't seem to have any interest in me beyond my wallet, I walk away.

Westfargo writes: "Your lucky they only took your $100! I bet they took more! And your not telling us."

Actually I got my $80 change. The only place I have ever been successfuly ripped off in TJ was Adelita's believe it or not.

I post to share my experiences and for the benefit of others. I also enjoy the comradery. If I ever fell victim to an event so embarasing I couldn't tell the truth about it, I would just leave it out of my posts.

El Critico,

When you say;

If I like a chica, and intend to make her a regular, I tell her early on that that I'm cheap, and she isn't going to make a bundle off of me in any one visit, but that I will come see her again and again, thus putting lots of $$ in her pocket in the long run. I make this offer even sweeter by letting them know that if one of their regulars that does spend big money comes in, they're welcome to take off and I'll come back later."

How do you say this in spanish ?

Let me try: Fucky con frecuencia por poquito dinero, pero puedes salir al hotel con el Señor Westfargo.

Oh my god...I spilled my beer laughing so hard.

Pauncho: Sorry I have no idea. It usually takes some effort to explain it to them, but they try real hard to understand when you're talking about money.

Aloha Club 11-3-01 (Prices in dollars)
After my first experience with a lap dance at the Aloha Club when I brought my brother to Tijuana, I decided to give it another try. So I wet in looking for "Pati". Immediately I headed for the restroom to "switch to the dollar economy" (put away pesos & put various denominations of dollars in my various pockets). I was approached by "Leti" but told her I was looking for "Pati" and headed for the restroom. Then I took a second look and relented. After I returned from the restroom, I hailed "Leti" and we sat down. I had already ordered an agua mineral. Before the waiter could bug me again, I asked "Leti" "De que ganas mas, tres fichas o un lap dance" (do you make more money on 3 ficha drinks or 1 lap dance) and she said "Lap Dance". I paid the waiter the 20 bucks (avoiding a ficha drink) and Leti & I went to the back where it was dark. Her lap dance didn't come close to measuring up to Pati's. She was older (claimed 29), fatter, and had a big mole on one side of her nose, but there was something I liked about her. She was "earthy" or something.... Anyway she mentioned the room ($40.00 - 30 minutes, fucky sucky con condon). I declined. Well, we ended up talking about "todo la noche" (she gets off at nine) and she ended up asking $40.00, "her place", and she would leave her 5 kids with her mom and fix me anything I wanted for breakfast (and told me about 6 things she fixes very well). Between worrying how loose it would be, and whether it was a setup to rob me, I told her I was out of money and would check back next week., and left. Despite the fact she was not perfect, I would like to spend the night with her (for the same price I usually pay for an hour), and the idea of a good breakfast sounded OK too. My question to my fellow mongers is; Is this a setup to rob me, or are ugly hookers just that desperate... ?
(OK, not ugly, but way below par for a hooker)

I doubt it is a setup. Times are very desperate in TJ now. Except for the super hotties, business is very bad for most of the girls. Now is the time to take advantage of good deals.

hi

this place is great during the night.
it turns into a real club and you can hook up with some free pussy if you like factory workers.
some hot chics come in here during friday and saturday nights.
they had a live band one night when i went and had a great time with some chicas that worked at pacifico.
i have been hear about a dozne times , about 4 months ago i went when they had some comedian , too bad i couldnt understand him , so i just laughed when everyone else did.


milky

Milky,

Maybe that comedian guy was making fun of you!

Senor Pauncho, please do not pay a fat girl with a big mole on her nose 40 cents, 40 pesos or 40 dollars for even 40 seconds. Take a taxi over to Adelita and get your money's worth.

why would he , he looked whiter than me ?
lol

milkster

Five kids? Really? You think that bitch is going to be able to unload five kids on her mom all night? At her place? Some little shit hole wooden shack on the side of a hill with dirt floors, no running water and a bunch of chickens running around in the front yard in Colonia Jardin? HELL NO! If you want to be with her at all for any reason and I can't really see why you would. Get a hotel room. Five kids! You know 5 actually means 11. It's a new math they have down there.

T$ you kill me, you must have some experience with a mom of five and a desperate plea. I'm sure the chica meant well, but yeah, Sr. Pauncho would probably wake up alone!

Mostly, I was worried that I might not wakeup - ever...

11-10 at the Aloha Club;
(to T$, I understand about the new math. A previous favorita/novia/engananista told me she had two, & when we got to her place, she had four. Even more amazingly, her 1-year-old was truly ugly)

Back on topic, I had dollars burning a hole in my pocket so I went back to the Aloha Club to get another lap dance from Pati. I've only experienced 3 different "lap dance providers" (3 weeks ago I was a lap dance virgin), but the other two were "OK", but not really worth the money when compared to paying 30 bucks for an hour with Lucy (the SG) yesterday (see SG post).

So I went in, ordered a 3 dollar Agua Mineral, and Pati was just finishing up on the stage. She is VERY engaging by nature - it comes across as genuine interest and affection. Of course she remembered the wrong name, but what the hell. Anyway I asked her (as I have asked previous providers) De que ganas mas, tres bebidas fichas o un Lap Dance. She said "Lap Dance".

I immediately opted for the lap dance, paid the waiter 25 bucks (20 for L.D., 3 for drink, 2 for the tip) and he walks off & then returns with the "there's no 20 dollar bill here" routine, at first I was confused, then I remembered that I had taken the 20 from my watch pocket - when I have them, I always put 1 bill there (or 200 pesos when I am doing the peso thing). The guy was so convincing that he almost had me believing him. I asked Pati did she see the bill, and she said "no".

I gave in and said "Voy a irme" and got up to go. She said something to the mesero (waiter) and suddenly it was OK (I kept the tip). Great lap dance, but beware those motherfuckers ! She said all of the waiters there are "Malos".

Today I passed by the club again and the barkers said "Come on in". I told them never again after cheating me. (Course that's a bit a of lie - I kinda like Pati) By the way, she doesn't go to the room and wouldn't let me put my thumb up her snatch this time, but I got to pull off her G-string and play with her clit some....

Again, to review Pati - I'm probably going back despite the pinche meseros.

Well, I went back there today (Dec 31,2002) looking for Pati. She wasn't there, but there were two girls.

I ordered a clamato and was suprised to find out that it was 5 bucks. After I approached the bartender to verify the price and he did say 5 bucks, but was very determined to see if I got the correct change. I did and told him so.
(Regular Beer $3.00, Agua Mineral $2.00)

Maybe they are turning over a new leaf or something......

The drink was overpriced, but two different times I got to suck both tits of the dancer for one dollar. (I think that part is worth it.)

Maybe I'll se Pati again....

OK, so I went there about 4 or 5 times this weekend.

The pinche meseros are so wise to my "duck the other direction and go straight to the bar and buy your own agua mineral" that they don't even follow me inside any more.

And the girls know that I'm not gonna' cough for a ficha drink or a lapdance so no more "suck two tits of the dancer on-stage" for one dollar.

And then (the greatest of social errors) I ran my tongue halfway up the crack of a dancer's ass (I DID start really high up), only to find out that it wasn't my favorite, but her older sister. That mistake cost me a lot of candy to bail myself out.

Of course now all of the other girls there are wanting some. At 10 pesos for 20 pieces, this is gonna' scorch my poor elbow.

Amazingly, the sisters now make a production of "formal handshakes and hugs". Looks like this dumbshit is doing something right, even if by accident.

Pauncho

As a follow-up, today on Revolucion, I noticed a good-looking girl walking my way smiling. Turned up it was an Aloha Club dancer addicted to the sweet stuff I put out (candy).

Recently I upped the ante from Tamalitos that i pay a nickel apiece for, to "Glorias" that I pay 30 cents each for.

Inside, one dancer actually kissed me on the lips (I didn't see it coming...) without encouragement.
Later I massaged her breasts for a few seconds to be sure it was a girl....)

This is my kind of place.

I forgot to add that on one trip, the place was empty.

I ended up massaging one dancer's back for about 20 minutes - hard knuckle-busting massage - at her request. Of course when clients arrived, she was up like a jack-in-the-box - but business IS business, after all.

In truth I enjoyed it more than some lap dances.

If word gets around, who knows - I may be in demand. (en mis suenos !)

You just gotta' see "Estefani", the new girl. Perfect other than she is NOT overbreasted. She dances wonderfully.

However, rubbing her back is difficult due to her thiness. She's kinda' boney.

Now that my favorita has left town for two weeks (and she extracted a "No others" promise and told me I wasn't allowed to suck dancer's tits anymore), massage is my only outlet (she never asked me about that...)

I'm kinda' living a dream. Today I had the dancers lined for their turns, including ("L"), the one lesbian dancer (after her novia left, of course).

Smart ass that I am, I asked her "Do you know the difference between massage and making love?" (I was hoping she'd say "No", so I could say "Me neither".

She said yes, so later I told her that they were the same, but just different parts being rubbed (which I pretty much believe...).

I am getting to know one dancer well enough that she is telling the "trade secrets" at this bar.

She suffers greatly (income wise) because she doesn't offer services beyond standard lapdance groping. In this bar, some do, and some don't.

I expect that eventually, some white knight will rescue her, or, more likely, her need for income will eclipse her morals one day and she'll sell that first piece. After which the next will come easier, etc.

A cohesive family structure (2 sisters and a brother live in Tijuana & they help each other) may delay the day. I hope so. I'm quite fond of her and would gladly be her white knight, except that she just "likes" me, and, in truth, I don't have enough money to support her reasonably.

But some of the girls in this bar steal from patrons, too.

I don't understand spanish well enough, but services offered in the women's dressing room (or maybe it's the restroom) come with a higher risk of theft.

Apparently management only intervenes in certain types of theft, and others are tacitly permitted.
Which is which I don't know because of my poor understanding of spanish.

Switching a one for a twenty is fairly standard practice by the waiters here.

I stopped by to pass out one dollar bras to the girls (from Max's one dollar store). I had accidently left my bag of bras at the club.

Liliana had tried hers on in front of me (Guess how she paid me - Yummmm).

When I went back she had stashed them in her locker. She took me back there and gave the bag to me.

NOW I'VE SEEN THE SIN ROOM. The same corridor (in the back near the left) leads to both the ladies rest room and the dressing room (sin room).

It's the only way I'd see it as I'm too cheap to take the paid tour..

According to my dancer friend there, the standard barfine is 20 bucks.

tHE OWNER HERE IS THE SAME OWNER AS PUSSYCATS AND HALF THE PLACES ON REVO. HIS NAME IS MIGUEL ANGEL AND HES A VERY CONECTED GUY. JUST MENTION HIS NAME

The other night this place had 3 TVs working.

Two of them looked it, one certainly did NOT.

Thank God my friend told me the truth....

What brand Sony , Panasonic ?
And did they have any Stereos ?

I might have to check this place out again
Can I bring my cock for a fight here?

Milky

I dropped in this place last weekend.

A skinny (near titless) girl named Monica was dancing.

She seemed drunk or something. She pushed her thong to one side and kept trying to put her pussy (legs wide open) into my face. I got several "from 4" away" close looks. (Although there are TVs here, too, she is definitely a girl)

This girl does not bathe frequently enough, but even so, her forthright willingness got my attention. I even thought about going back to "the Sin Room" with her, but she's kinda' scary.

That and I didn't want to ruin my reputation as a discerning monger ! (LOL)

They fired all of the TVs (Sorry Milky !) so that all of the dancers are female (both straight and lesbian)

I am sick of all this corruption of hiring chicas over TV's
I am never setting another foot inside this damm place !!

Milkanal

The Gringa

There's a nice looking blond gringa named Rachel now working there. Small tits.

After several weekends of sucking them for a dollar on-stage, she's now gone shy on me.

english/spanish, friendly.
dances a bit artistically at times.

I'll never go back to Aloha Club - it was the first club that the waiter pulled the old $20 switch on me. I was a newbie and slightly drunk, didn't realize the switch until later.

I don't like the way they operate there, I had trouble getting change back for a drink, as well.

Small bills, correct change - got it ?

it's a lousy place unless you are in love with one of the help.

Last weekend I managed to sneak in a (former) reglamento (female) who had worked (as a cop/vice cop) in Tlaxcala.

She noted that the girls in Tlaxcala & Puebla danced totally nude.

So I asked her if they dance totally nude, and prostitution, what did the regulate. She didn't answer me.

She did want to watch each of the dancers do her thing. I suddenly reflected that she has always struck me more guapa (handsome) than bonita (beautiful).

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Anyway, I introduced her to all of the help.
(The supervisor shooed away the waiter and personally served us. He got a 5 peso tip for his trouble)


They never caught on....

SrP,

From experience, yes, they dance nude in Puebla. Typically a two song set with the top coming off in song one and the bottoms going away in song two.

The higher end bars (frankly, if there are lower end strip clubs I couldn't find one, although I did look) offer CBJ & FS in "private areas".

The private areas are usually (1) closets where a "little sex" can be had; or (2) roomlets where you can upgrade to the full monte. At least one club offers rooms with a small (single) bed, but no shower or other WC type fixtures.

Dem Gnomes