Here's my version of the "Newbie Manual" for the complete idiot.

Put $90 bucks in your front pocket(1 10$, 2 5$s, 10 1$s and 3 20$s) Keep another $X00 in your wallet ( X = the greatest number you can afford to spend plus 2)

Skip work on a Wednesday or Thursday. Fly, Drive, Bus or Train to the border station at San Ysidro around 2:00 PM. Walk across the border, go straight through the gates and let the cabbies approach (Taxi Amigo?). Take the first cab they direct you to and say "Adelitas" (a de lee' tas).

When the cab drops you off head directly into AB (Adelita Bar). Step in and let your eyes adjust. Buy a beer (2$) from the first waiter who approaches, tip him a buck.

There's a long bar to your right, walk down it and check out what,s going on around the bend of the bar. If your standing at the bend of the bar, eventually you'll see a pretty, slender (30ish) lady with long curly hair wearing a sun dress.

This is Candi. Approach her and act like you have no idea what's going on. She speeks almost no English. Just point up and then follow her.

It's OK! She'll take good care of you. she'll take you up a flight of stairs and drag you up to the desk. You'll pay for 30 minutes in the room ($15, I think). Candi will take you to the room and take REALLY good care of you!

This establishes the "DAMN GOOD" standard. Any chica that takes better care of you than Candi should be repeated. Any chica doesn't, well there's always Candi.

You should still have enough money in your front pocket to settle up with Candi before you back into battle.

Happy hunting!

Shadow
I did not know Candi had curly hair but how about if Candi does not wear her floral dresses or is MIA that day?
My advice would be to wait and try to make eye contact with many chicas and avoid any agressive ones.
Smiling with chicas makes me comfortable and realize I am indeed in a hooker bar so relax and settle down.
Personally I never ever go with a chica who offers me "good fucky/sucky".
If a chica makes good eye contact, try some conversation, even offer to buy her a drink. If the chica is very affectionate at the table, try to keep your mouth close to hers and even kiss her if she is that horny, if she backs off disgusted, walk away as her affection is a hook and not real.
If chica offers to go up after swallowing drink, turn down her offer and tell her another time.
If chica is a little bit shy, takes her time drinking, asks you questions, does not answer your questions with yes or no, makes good eye contact, hold hands with you, has soft skin, soft hands, pretty eyes, full lips, natural tits, great hourglass, you start to get a hardon, don't wait any longer, you're in.
Upstairs, try to give her a hug and see how she reacts. If she pushes you away, get ready for 1/2 and 1/2, just hope she gives good head. During bj, just tell her "mas" if you need a longer bj.
On the other hand if she accepts your hug, try to look deep into her eyes, embrace, smell her neck, compliment her on her perfume, move your mouth towards hers, start kissing and disrobing each other.
Then hope she has a clean body as you're going to get nasty and dirty.
If session is good, try to stay nice afterwards and even fake being interested in her as you may want to repeat in the future as not all chicas are created equal.

I second the notion that she has straight hair. The other recognizable feature is her alabaster skin color against the thick black hair. Unmistakeable in the land of brown skinned chicas.
Her makeup will appear pink on top of the white below it.

Athos gives good advice here! Curly isn't the right word, but Candi's hair isn't flat or stringy either. It's very pretty. With Merican's added description, she couldn't be missed.

The only other chica to wear floral dress is Candi's amiga Monserrat, older too, nice body and nice face.
Candi is known to wear pants in dead of winter.
Also both of these chicas accept happily $40.

My two cents on the taxi's. You should announce "Adelitas cinco totahl". If a driver agrees, repeat it to him loud and clear as you enter the cab (some drivers right before they drive away with you will say "cinco y teep for me"). Don't let him get away with that. If the driver ever tries to adjust the already agreed upon price, teach him a lesson by getting out of the cab (I had a driver chase after me one time pleading "ok cinco total" which he repeated about five times). You will always find a willing driver at that price. Otherwise these cabbies will keep greedily increasing their prices artificially (their quoted fares are up almost 100% in less than two years).

I don't mind spending money but you gotta draw the line somewhere.

A Tipper of the hotel room cleaners, waiters, and doorman at CC (not AB) kind of guy,

Out-of-Towner

Oote

"A Tipper of the hotel room cleaners, waiters, and doorman at CC (not AB) kind of guy"

Elaborate on the doormen at AB and CC for us. Why or why not tip any of them?

But, one very bad omission on my part! NEWBIES tipping the room cleaners is Not Optional. $1 suffices.

Tipping is ALWAYS optional. It's a courtesy, not a fee. I don't know why anyone would tip any of the doormen unless they warn you just before some ratero is about to bop you over the head.

I leave the tip for the room guys in the room and just tell them "En cuarto" when they ask. Sometimes I'll just leave the change I have in my pocket, .70 last time at CC. As I was leaving the guy went in the room and yelled out "One dollar" and I yelled out "Nah" and the reception guy and some older woman started cracking up.

Also if you aren't happy with the room, maybe they forgot to leave a roll of TP, the sheets are filthy or whatever, then the hell with the tip. I've stiffed them at AB before and said "no papel no propina".

Did they get pissed? Of course they did, so what? I'm no worse the wear for it, I still get a more or less warm greeting when I show up at Coahuila Hotel (in fact when I go up with an AB chica I've never met before she often will ask just how many times I've been to AB, since all the talachero's and desk guys greet me by name).

If everything is cool, there's an actual shower head in the shower and everything I'll toss 'em a buck. I think it goes back to the cultural tradition of negotiating...if done correctly it's not insulting and actually gains you some respect...you're showing you're not a sucker.

Shadow,

I have found that tipping the CC doorman and hotel manager greatly increases their willingness to share information with me and the quality of that information.

True example: I asked a CC doorman and the hotel manager about a specific chica one night. They both uttered something unintelligible. After buying each of them a $1 cart hotdog a few hours later (a spur of the moment idea while I munched on a cartburger), their faces lit up and they seemed to go over and above the call of duty....they couldn't stop giving me information about her: where she lives, what her real name is, what her work schedule is, etc., not to mention allowing me to peruse their clipboard which records all the chicas working that night in the bar and how many trips each of them has made to the hotel. Who knows; maybe I'm the only monger in history who ever bought them hotdogs.

I have never tipped the AB doorman (the short stocky one) because I've always felt like he looks like he isn't too happy with the amount of time I spend leaning against the street sign outside near the hotel steps (just like I do at CC). I was also thrown out of AB once because I happened to enter during the floor show simply to look for a fellow monger and "the powers that be" at that moment mistook me for a show freeloader. The doorman could have stopped the policeman from shoving me out the door and onto the street but he did nothing.

A You can't underestimate the importance of having the club managers on your side kind of guy,

Out-of-Towner

I always tip the hotel clerk at check-in AND the room-cleaning lady (I just leave it on the bed) 10 pesos each. They both need the money and they always grin when they see me. I'm hoping that they might watch my back a little (& I would like to do the room cleaning lady).

Pauncho

Where do they have a cleaning room lady?

Redongdo,

A couple of hotels that I know of:

Hotel Colon - South side of 1st between Revolucion & Constitucion
(one of the few "20 minutes is the standard time" hotels)

Hotel La Perla Oriente - East side of Mutualisimo between 1st & 2nd
(in the middle of She/he central, across from the federales sub-station)
Spanish only, I think. I never tried english.

Sencillo (1 bed & bathroom - low water pressure) 140 pesos.
On weekends, rooms seldom available except just after checkout at noon.
Ignore the "No hay cuartos" (no rooms available) sign,
it's there to discourage low-lifes like me.
Avoid Room 35 - children from the elementary/pre-school sometimes
peek a look in the window.

Don't go there at night - dangerous (violence) and dangerous (TVs).
The sex workers near 1st & M.F.Martinez - the best looking ones are TVs.
If you went there drunk one night, no telling what you might wake up to,
if you woke up at all.

Pauncho

My advice to advisers will be not to confuse TJ newbies with new Johns. As with all manuals, no matter how much you write down, it will never be complete. You have to inspire them, teach them survival skills, critical thinking skills.

There's no problem getting there somehow and get laid with one of the girls you veterans grew out of. In contrast, in LA, new Johns will either get stung by LE or rip-offed if not prepared.

Anything beating the $300 per hour threshold will be welcomed by TJ newbies, higher quality girls for longer for less. At the moment it seems that you have to know Spannish to advance from the newbie status - you can't reliably pick up girls and tell them what you want. But if you know enough Spannish, you don't need any manuals.

You know, I always try to leave a buck in the room at Cascadas for the guy who cleans up after me (hey, would YOU like to pick up used condoms for a living?).

Anyway, I realized the other day that when I leave my room in the AM, the talacheros always ask me - with some eagerness - if I am checking out. I am now wondering if the AM guys plunder my room for the tip, leaving the actual cleaning guy without a tip.

Hmmm ...

Don't be an Asshole. Listen, we all know why you're in the Zona, the girls know, I know, you know etc.

When you're approached by a girl in the club or in the alley, don't be rude. It's not required. I see so many instances of guys treating the girls like shit. It makes me sick.

Remember that they are PEOPLE. They are HUMAN BEINGS. If you don't want to go with the girl, tell her but TRY to be polite. They get more rejections than anyone else you know so there is no need to enhance the effect by being an asshole.

If a SG grabs my sleeve, I go for a hug and a smile. If I don't get it then I move on but I still treat them with dignity. Just a smile. It doesn't hurt.

OK, so the big bad girley gets agressive and wants to put some pressure on you to buy a drink or go upstairs. Wow. You don't need me to tell you to be a man. She's trying to earn a living and she's willing to fuck you to do it. Be nice.

Why do I give a shit? The last full day I spent in the Zona with my wingman gave me some relaxation time to sit in the taco stand and just observe.

You can spot the newbie a mile away, so can the girls.

I saw groups of newbies walking the alley like they were hiding from the MOB. The girls were doing their thing (hissing, grabbing sleeves etc) and the guys were being complete and utter assholes towards them.

These guys have no idea how to treat a girl nice. Do they behave like that at home? Makes me think they're there because they DO behave like that at home and I can't think of any civi who'd go for that shit.

Do yourself a favor newbie, take a trip with a vet wingman. Learn how to behave. There are some excellent experiences to be had. The girls can be lots of fun. You're missing out on most of what the place has to offer by being an asshole.

I know it's not the top of the moral ladder and maybe I'm just a ranting old fool but an asshole is an asshole. What happens is they look at all of us in the same light and there are a lot of guys out there who are NOT assholes and DO treat the girls nice, even if they don't go.

For me the Zona is an experience, not a one-way street. Many hombres found their girls their favs, who are into their own thing. Whether it's a single session at AB or a full out fiesta session. So there's something for everyone.

Most vets know how to behave and that is a big factor in why they have amazing experiences in the zona. Learn from that.

You don't give a shit? You don't care? They're all whores anyway? They'er not worth it? Well, fuck you then.

Country John

Damn, Countryjohn, you are saying just what I spent the first part of the week thinking! There are so many really NICE girls there, and it is such a ball to talk to them, etc. Thre are some real butthooks, but, for the most part, they are nice people doing something of which they are not especially proud because they cannot make a living any other way.

Way I see it, there are two cases. One is the girl who wants the $120/bottle perfume (yes, one did tell me about her recient purchase). She might go up 15 time a night, etc. She might also have a pimp, etc. She is generally not going to be a very good experience (smile).

The second is generally a bit older, has kids, and needs to feed/cloth/educate them. They are, for the most part, pretty neat people.

So if the lady grabs you and asks you to go upstairs, and you don't get the vibe, why not smile, thank her for asking, and tell her she is probably too much woman for you? Who knows, maybe next time she will turn you on!

Sandy

I am thinking of going to TJ for Labor Day weekend arriving sunday 9/4 andleaving 9/6. Are CC and Ab going to be real croeded this weekend?

"Are CC and Ab going to be real croeded this weekend?"

Most people will reply by saying you are joking right with a question like that but I will just reply by saying

The zona will be a PLM fest just as it is any holiday.

Translation it will be packed like smelly sardines.

Maximus is right. Sardines.

All days will have more mongers.

Friday and Saturday especially. I don't even like these days when it isn't a holiday weekend. So I would avoid these days. And your schedule reflects it.

Sunday and Monday will have more than usual but I've been down on these days of a holiday weekend in the past and it wasn't unbearable. I would say I expected more and was surprised it wasn't as crowded as I thought.

Tuesday will be back to normal.

As stupid as this sounds, gas price spikes and the thought of crowds may deter others who have to trek down to TJ.