As the gentleman picked up his date for the evening, he gave her a tight hug and whispered, “Your fragrance is simply lovely tonight, darling. Is that Evening in Paris you have on?”

“Why yes it is, thank you. I’d guess you’re wearing Four Days in Youngstown?”

OK maybe the regional humor doesn’t travel well (I grew up in Cleveland). But it pretty much describes what I perceived to be my own aroma by the time I left TJ last Sunday night.

As a little background first, over the past 8 years, my puta pounding in Mexico was limited to Ensenada with buddies during weekend golfing trips to Bajamar. I started going solo to la zona norte earlier this year after reading Redsnake and other boards including this site. On my second trip, I established an AB favorita (more like she’d established me as something). I fell into the routine of doing overnights with her after her shift ended around 9 or 10pm. This was, at most, once every 3 or 4 weeks. During the first half of this year, I spent very little time in the bar and only had an occasional glance into CC. I never entered the alley although I had passed some of the SGs once during a late night walk up Constitution to catch a bus. Prior to last week, all of my TJ trips were limited to less than 24 hours.

A few months ago, my fave took an extended vacation. I decided the time was ripe for exploration and new conquests. Quit laughing, new for me, anyway. I can read. I wasn’t expecting a busload of nubile virgin rancheritas lined up awaiting my arrival. Despite low expectations and intentions, I was quickly hooked. Of course, having an obsessive-compulsive personality doesn’t help. Next thing I know, I’m making the 90 miles one way drive three or four times a week; usually late at night and returning at 5 or 6am. I partook in some of AB’s treasures including Smith, Perlita, JoAnna, Marissia, Amy, & Diana, along with a few parcels of territory that no one else had mentioned. I staked a few flags in CC, tried to do a little diving in Bar Tropical (unsuccessfully), and even checked out the Alley (albeit brisk walking without stopping). I felt like a friggin’ Vasco de Gama.

A few weeks ago, I started exchanging e-mails with a couple fellow posters and discussed the possibility of meeting in TJ. After the tragic events of last week, I simply could not stand to see the visual images being replayed over and over, not just on the screen, but in my mind. I figured an escape south was just the ticket to deal with the pain and anger that I was feeling. Nothing like a little meaningless, mind-numbing sex to distract one’s thoughts. So I decided to head south last Thursday. I exchanged e-mails with my new friends. We provided descriptions to try to locate each other in AB. After reading about delays at the border, I figured I would stay over in TJ until late Friday or early Saturday. I made a reservation at Villa de Zaragoza for a 5pm arrival and packed another change of clothes to go with the necessities such as money, credit card, DL, toothbrush, gum, mints, camera, plus thin and flavored condoms. Later that day, I called the hotel, switched my arrival to 10pm and guaranteed the room with a credit card. After getting ready, I took a 20-minute power nap that somehow lasted 3 hours. I finally left home at 9:45pm.

As I neared the last few US exits, CHP began running a sig alert. Since I was ¼ mile from the San Ysidro exit, I figured I’d ease over and just get off. As it turned out, CHP was forcing everybody off at that exit. I looked over in the northbound lanes and realized they were also empty. As I passed an officer, I asked if it was an accident. He simply said, “No” and volunteered nothing. When I got to the trolley station, the street was blocked by SDPD. I found out that the bridge and border was closed both ways due to a bomb threat. I drove over to World Parking but that street was also blocked with police tape and vehicles. I did see a bus loading some passengers. It appeared to go into Mexico but LE was definitely preventing any foot traffic south. After about an hour, the border re-opened. I headed across, grabbed a taxi, and had him take me to VdeZ, then wait while I checked in. The night clerk couldn’t find my reservation but getting a room was no problem as there were about 4 cars in the parking lot. I went to my room, left my carrybag, and back to the cab. I made it to AB about 12:30am.

The place looked like a ghost town compared to other trips and other Thursday nights. I saw very few Americans. What was of even more importance, there were no chicas that grabbed either my attention or my dick. I also did not see anyone that matched the descriptions of the mongers I planned to meet. Of course, I was about 8 hours late, but what’s that? Only about 14 cervezas, 5 tequilas, and 2 or 3 chicas worth of time for them to occupy themselves until I showed up is the way I figured it.

As I started out to head over to CC to see if those piche gringos were there, I bumped into Ivana from Guadalajara. She is 22, 1 kid, 5’2”. 110”, black curly hair usually pulled back, nice C-cups, tight little body. I’ve done Ivana’s cousin, Andrea (a GFE experience). Ivana indicated that Andrea left TJ and went back to GDL that very day. I’ve wanted to do Ivana but it had always seemed difficult as she and Andrea were usually together in the bar. I’m not one to cause family conflicts. There had been some discussion a few weeks back of a threesome but they flaked on me the night I showed up for it. I asked Ivana if she was interested in toda la noche. She said she was. I told her I was looking for some friends and I’d be back in a bit. Obviously, I was a little unsure about spending all night with Ivana as I had not tried her out beforehand.

CC was even more deserted, almost no customers and very few chicas. I quickly came to the conclusion that I needed to act fast or I might be sleeping alone for the first time in TJ. I figured if las mujeres de la zona can lower their own standards enough to sleep with fat, old, ugly slobs like me, then the least I can do, this night anyway, is to not try to gouge another notch in my trophy case. If any trophies were in the vicinity, they were already arriba or dove under a table when they saw me approaching.

As a bit of further explanation about me, I love most women. Given my druthers, I usually set me sights on petite chicas and really get turned on by those skinny Olive Oyl types. Sure I’ve done many a plump girl in my life but I’ve never had a zona gordita. I’m sure I will someday but not this night. I normally do sessions of an hour or more, as I like to take my time. Her pleasure is as important as mine (well, almost as important). If I feel pressured on time, the session usually turns to shit. Fuck those 20-minute knocks and “joo feeneesh” girls.

Having said all this (any of you still there?), I guess I better get to the gist of why we all go there. Since this is being written several days later, some of the details of my trip are a bit blurred. My recollections are close if not totally accurate.

As I sat at the bar sucking on my agua natural, I made eye contact with a little wisp of a woman, about 5’1”, maybe 105#, light brown shoulder length hair (later found out it was a wig), small breasts, wearing a short skirt exposing nice legs. She walked over, planted her pubic bone into my crotch, and introduced herself as Patricia de VeraCruz. Good start. I think she said she is 29 with 2 kids. After a little conversation, I told her I didn’t want to go upstairs at Hotel Leyva. Instead, I wanted someone to go to VdeZ for 2 or 3 hours. She wanted $200 for 2 hrs. I offered $150 for 3 hrs. We finally agreed on $150 for 2 ½ hrs. I told her I needed to tell my friends over at AB and would be right back.

I made a quick dash to AB, found Ivana, and told her we’d do it the next night. “You promise?” “Sure, baby, have I ever lied to you before?”

Back to CC and found Patricia. We walked up front to get her coat. She asked me for $20 for the bar fine, which I gave her. I went outside and grabbed a cab. After she got in, the manager came out after her. I gathered (my Spanish isn’t very good) that the conversation had something to do with the bar fine not being paid. She kept motioning in the direction of the doorman. After awhile, the manager went back and sent the doorman over. He stood outside the cab talking to her. Finally, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small plastic cardholder. Inside was a $20 that he palmed. After a few more minutes of conversation, the doorman headed back inside, apparently content to make it look like he finally collected the fine (with the money that he tried to pocket in the first place).

When I registered at the hotel earlier, I put down a name for a female in the room. I had told Patricia during the cab ride what her name was for the evening. When we arrived at the hotel, the security guard hassled Patricia and me. I told him that I had registered her when I checked in. She gave him some money and he went away seemingly happy.

We both took quick showers. During negotiations back at the club, I had promised a massage; she promised muchos besos. Let’s just say I kept my end of the bargain. She enjoyed the chocolate condom and I enjoyed her enjoyment. After awhile, I decided my taste buds felt neglected so I worked my way up and down her little form. I managed to linger for about 10 minutes at that magical portal from whence we all emerged (‘cept you “C” babies), only to spend the rest of our lives trying to get back inside. After two sets of convulsions, she climbed aboard the rocket launcher. From my viewpoint and with that chocolate condom still in place, it looked like Mandingo, minus a few inches, was pouring the coals to la senorita. Whoever it was, it sure felt good to me. We did the normal position changes with me finishing in my favorite way; that is, her ankles over my shoulders. After we cuddled and talked for awhile, we did another round. I finally ordered her a taxi and crashed at 5:30am

To be continued….