Just for laughs...my take on some typical TJ monger types (I would include myself in at least 3 of these categories). Please add more:

Jimmy Buffets' - older guys; 40-60; sunburned; beer gut; red eyes; wearing shorts w/Hawaiian shirts; seen frequently in Ensenada swapping stories about lobsters they've eaten. Tend to spend many hours in the clubs buying the girls drinks and telling more lobster stories. Chicas luv'em for the fichas & generous tips.

Evil Jimmy Buffets' - Jimmy Buffets' that have crossed the line into obsession. Vacant look in eyes; spend DAYS in the clubs; yell at people in the border crossing line; drone on about the "good old days"; prefer the fresh-off-the-bus types.

Jason Priestly's - Good-looking, sideburn-clad, SoCal youngsters. Come down in packs for a quick thrill. Prefer the hotties. High frequency girls prefer them for their looks, speed, and ease of transaction.

Lenny & Squiggy's - Younger, harder versions of the Jimmy Buffets'. Seen often in the daytime roaming TJ's streets; spend way too much time in TJ for people in their prime earning years; also seen frequently at the
race track on Tuesdays. Chicas prefer them for three things: volume! volume! volume!

Bill Gates' - A relatively new addition to TJ (thanks to the internet). Pasty skin; poor posture; often loaded down with backpacks full of digital cameras, translation devices, and palm pilots to log activity; drink cokes. These guys are in hog heaven after years of rejection by the babes. A favorite of the ladies for their manners, ability to speak spanish, and of
course pockets full of cash.

Larry Mondellos' - Similar to the Bill Gates' but fatter and without the cash. Oddly attracted to the skinny morenas; border-line evil.

Jim Bakkers' - These guys still haven't quite morally accepted their TJ hobby. Tend to arrive alone and keep their eyes on the floor; seem disgusted by everyone around them; in-and-out in 30 minutes. Sharks like Angela feed on them like chum.

Keith Hernandez's - Pre-Jimmy Buffet types. Aged 30-40; usually mustached; work in an office or sell insurance; tend to travel in groups; drink heavily & participate in the floor shows; enjoy talking about beer; will spend hours telling chicas about the Charger's game. Chica's dig 'em for their friendliness & generosity.

Orson Welles' - old, fat guys that plant their behinds in a booth and fondle chicas for hours. Newly-arrived gorditas flock to them for their never ending supply of $1 bills; tend to marry filipino mail-order brides.

Opie's - First-timers; deer-in-the-headlights look; seem to be saying to themselves "I can't fucking believe this, I can't fucking believe this". Easy prey for sharks for their lack of knowledge; have been known to spend $200 for a hand job (don't laugh...we've all been there!)

You & Me - Worldly sires and sex aficionados. Charming to the ladies; generous to the waiters, adored by all. Regular fuckin'James Bonds'!

Wow Man! How'd you know? You and me must like.. us solmates or sunthin'

You & Me we're like alike. Those chicas luv us for who i am! They just got some bad times and need the money, right?

Especially that one cuddly chick that almost kissed me! She's a really kinda nice and even stayed until the guy knocked on the door.

Then there's that waiter at Tropical, wen I order a beer. He brings me 2! He was so cool, brought over a girl for me without even asking! then, when he thinks I'm hungry, he brings over this cheese plate. What a guy! He sez he like Americans.

None of those profiles fit guys who attend Chicago Club. I wont get into those profiles for fear of being labeled a racist.

Brother B,
That's some funny shit! You forgot the Grandpa Lewis type--who IS that OLD, OLD brother (got ta be at least 75) in AB who gives the chicas lollipops? Fisherman hat? I used to be REAL scared of turnin' into that guy...but, now that I think of it, what's a BETTER scenario at 75?

and the married man, breezing into AB for a quicky.
and the middle-ager, (mid-life crisis) looking to get all the pussy he thinks he missed during his youth.

Any updates for this? Not just for TJ mongers, but anywhere.