With full credit to Aardvark.

While planning my recent trip to TJ, I was disappointed to find out that the Pueblo Amigo was full for the week due to a Gynecologist's convention. I have stayed at the PA exclusively for the last 18 months and they have spoiled me (with me spoiling them in return for the great service). I have also gotten a $70 rate from them for suites and my only explanation is that I created a good rapport with the (now gone) manager, Ricardo. I contemplated the Villa Z as a number of my friends stay there but I was concerned by the apparent "problems" with the night security. I am an allnighter-type of guy and sometimes bring a different chica back during the day too…and the PA never gives me any problems. I decided to check on the Lucerna and after having some difficulties getting their information (their web site was down), I finally got an US 800 number (duh to me…it was 800-LUCERNA!).

I called the Lucerna and they quoted me a $75 rate for a king bed for 2 people. I had her repeat all of the information, as I was surprised at the low rate. AAA & an online reservation service had both quoted me $100…so I was a little wary. I called back the next day to confirm the reservation and everything was correct so I added another room to the reservation for my friend.

Upon arriving at the Lucerna on Tuesday, my first concern was the amount of policia presence in the parking lot. There were at least 5 squad cars (one was a van) and about 5-6 uniforms walking around (one with a dog). I asked the bell captain if there were any problems and he almost seemed oblivious to the action around us. He finally said there were "no problemos" so we walked into the lobby. Very nice, bright and clean and pretty busy for a Tuesday afternoon. There was only one desk clerk at the moment so we had to get into a line. Finally another clerk appeared and we made it to the desk. After some confusion over the amount of rooms and then one magically being available, we were told that it would be about a 40 minute wait. We walked over to Real Ejecutivo to check out the line-up and my friend wanted to see the VIP room.

We walked back and were showed up to our rooms. One was available with the other one being cleaned at that moment. My first reaction was anger as the room had two full beds instead of a king. The bellman said there were no kings available. OK, I then slipped another guy a propina for some more water bottles that arrived in a few minutes. My friend's room became available and we started our adventures.

The room was clean and bright and I had a balcony that overlooked their large interior & pool. The beds were probably the stiffest I've ever "been" on but comfortable. The bathroom was a big disappointment in its size and amenities compared to the PA. The PA's bathrooms are probably the nicest in any hotel I've ever been to. The television had about a dozen channels (no porn!) which is about 4-5 more then the PA, and the AC worked fantastic compared to the PA's "sometimes" just pumping out air. (I usually stay on the PA's 5th or 6th floor and everything seems to strain to get up that high!). I arranged for an available room with a king bed the next day and they were prompt and courteous in moving me the next morning when I was ready.

The staff was excellent and the one (of two) restaurants had a pretty decent breakfast buffet and my one dinner was pretty good too. I regretted not checking out the other restaurant (Italian) as I've read good things about it. The chicas I brought back (both new for me) seemed impressed with the hotel and the room but we were stopped by security my second night which pissed me off a little. During the days, the staff seemed oblivious to my "activities" as I brought one new amiga back during my second "day" and we went into the bar first and she was welcomed warmly by my new friend Jose, the bartender.

Upon checking out, I was quoted $192 for the 2 days. I didn't even bother to look at the bill as I had made one lengthy long distance call and adding that to the 2-$75 night charges with taxes…$192 seemed correct. I waited outside for my friend and when he came out he pointed out to me that we were charged for the "extra" water I had brought up to our rooms the first day. Tacky!

Originally posted by Robertx at 23:27:33 03/22/14

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If you are also interested in seeing more of Tijuana and may want to relax, Hotel Lucerna in Zona Rio is my favorite. It is near the best restaurants and area to pick up civvies if you are not middle aged and fat, like myself

I could not stay 3 nights in any of the places In or near Zona Norte. They are okay for one night of debauchery that ends with an alcohol stupor, but walking around the dumpy mess (ZN) in the morning is just too depressing for my taste.

After the second night you may want to hang yourself. At Ticuan you have nice rooms, decent wifi, at Lucerna even a good pool and great restaurant.

Lucerna may give Escorts a hard time, but if you meet then offsite and walk in together it was never an issue for me.

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