Tijuana was really not what I expected. I expected something ugly, tacky and sleazy. What I got was, well, ugly, tacky and sleazy, but somehow a great deal more satisfying than I'd thought it would be.

Thanks to my job and financial situation, this is only my second trip report. I envy those glorious mongers who have the bucks and flexibilty to jet around the world at a moment's notice. If I were one of those fine people, I doubt that I would have given TJ a second glance. But it was a holiday weekend and my home air conditioning was busted without any good prospects of it being fixed anytime soon. I needed an escape.

Tijuana beckoned, just three-odd hours down the road.

I suppose most Hombres already realize this, but if you make an impulsive trip to Tijuana, you should fill your gas tank and grab your money before leaving. There are a surprising number of communities down the 405 and 5 where both ATMs and gas stations are thin on the ground. Upscale Irvine, where I was when that reserve light started flickering, has about two gas stations, none visible from the freeway. I was lucky I made it to one before I ran out.

With the exception of a few higher prices, Brockton O'Toole's legendary FAQ could have been written yesterday. Parking is now $7 in most lots. Watch out for parking scammers. The closest lot to the border is $9 "ALL DAY" and then the fine print says "0-8 HRS". That's not a day in my book. The "Border Station" lot charges $7 until "10 am the next day", so if you happen to be a bit late in coming back, you'll be zapped for two days. I thought the best-run lot was the one associated with the duty-free shop. To get there from the San Ysidro exit ("Last USA Exit"), just go straight and look for the shiny neon $7 to your right. (During the day this sign is off, but you can still see it). This lot is a straight-on $7 per 24 hours with a 20 minute grace period.

Cabs now go for $6-7. I tried getting my first cab driver to $5, using all the tricks described in the FAQ, and no dice. I was able to have a conversation in Spanish with the guy while sitting in the front of the taxi and it didn't help. Ah well. Not like the extra dollar's going to break me. My cab driver back to the border on day 1 wanted $7, and quite honestly I was too exhausted to negotiate. On day 2, my cab driver wanted $6, but he was so helpful and entertaining that I gave him $7.

With a late start and some confusion, I got to AB's around 12:00midnight. There was a constantly moving sea of people all around. I didn't feel in any danger, and it was not unpleasant, but it was certainly an unusual situation. Every once in a while, a chica would rub my back or leg and smile. I wanted to check out the whole place, so I ignored them. I didn't notice any go for my crotch, which mildly disappointed me. But it was fun to check them out checking me out.

Finally, one hugged me from behind, and it felt really nice, so I took a look at her. She looked like a real hottie, with a gorgeous hairdo, sexy tits with great pointed nipples and nice long legs. She ground her crotch into mine like nobody's business. I liked what I saw, and a little fondling of her tits (I even got a lick in in the bar), she asked me if I wanted to go up to the room. I was a little worried that she'd suddenly turn into an ice queen in the room, but she seemed genuinely keen to please, so I decided to give her a chance.

She asked me for $60, I countered with $40 and we settled at $50. (This appears to be a more or less typical transaction there).

The room itself surprised me. It was attractive, showing pleasant colour choices and even had a few arty touches. I had expected something primitive on the lines of Villa Mimosa (whose web site I've seen); it was really very nice. It was also clean, as far as I could tell. (I am a natural slob and may not be the best critic here).

In the cold light of the room, she was obviously a lot older than I'd thought, maybe in her 30s, and she had been fighting the battle of the belly. (Maybe she'd had a kid?) But she was still very nice looking, and - more to the point - she was a fantastic fuck.

She started an excellent BBBJ and then asked for the money; I was putty in her hands, and then we fucked vigourously. It felt really, really nice. She was very enthusiastic and into it.

We then cuddled and talked amiably for a while, and then she suggested a shower and handed me the soap. Oddly, she didn't go in with me.

She told me she is getting a US visa and wants to visit clients in the US. We swapped email addresses.

Unfortunately, she gave me a whole bunch of different names, and I have a lousy memory, so I can't identify her precisely. Her email address is lulusalinas@hotmail.com, which might identify her to some of you.

She wanted to capture me as "her's", and I resisted that, but I may not be able to resist seeing her again. She was really good and sweet. (For reasons that should be clear from reading my Cuba trip report, I really wanted to try to be a "butterfly" during this trip).

I wandered around AB for a while while recovering from my encounter with her, savouring the thought that I could have any girl in the place. I decided it was time to check out the Chicago Club.

The description I've read of the locations of AB and the Chicago Club seems a little misleading. AB and CC do not actually glare at each other directly across the street. Instead, they are both about in the middle of their block, with two streets perpendicular to each other.

Because of this, it's a bit harder to find Chicago than I had thought. It took me several traversals of the street area to find it.

The Chicago Club is not nearly as crowded as ABs. When I was there, it did seem to have some prettier girls, but they seemed a little aloof, like they were really above the common fray. I felt that meant a bad fuck, so I passed.

There was, however, a vaguely oriental looking chica who was wiggling her ass to the music in a sexy manner. I approached her and she introduced me to her friend, who was, well, huge, almost as big as me. I declined the dupla, but asked to see her alone. Once again, her offer was $60, my counter was $40 and we settled on $50. Seems like a standard pattern.

Chicago Club's room was several notches below AB's, which seemed to contradict its image as a classier place. I expected better after seeing the club itself. So if you want to choose between AB and CC, the AB club isn't that attractive but the rooms are; in CC, the club is nice but the rooms aren't. They are, however, clean and fulfull their basic purpose.

When in the room, she looked sadly timeworn. But she really livened up when she offered her ass to me and I started spanking it. It really made her BBBJ stand out. The fuck, though, was filled with clearly fake enthusiasm (LuLu's sounded surprisingly genuine) and I soon asked her to go back to BBBJ. It took me a long time to cum because I'd been with LuLu less than an hour before, but she worked very hard on me and achieved success. I must give her a lot of credit for sticking to her work; she was bound and determined that I leave the room satisfied.

I'd definitely recommend this chica if you're a little kinky. I'll bet I could have done anal and she would have loved it. Too bad I didn't think of that until I left :-(.

If someone will throw out names of oriental-looking chicas who work at CC, I'll look in the ZRG and identify her more solidly.

At this point, having brought $200 in cash across the border, I had about $50 left. Time to call it a day.

You'll probably not be surprised to hear that at 2am, after driving for three hours and fucking two chicas, I was pretty tired. I decided it would be a little silly to cross the border to sleep, so I figured I would simply get a hotel in Mexico and stay the night.

At the time I started with this, I thought short-time hotels only provided short-time service. So, with every hotel I could see being a short-time establishment, I felt trapped into using the only one that obviously wasn't, the Hotel Feliciana.

The good news was that the Hotel Feliciana was $24 a night.

The bad news was that sleep was almost impossible; the mattress was thin and unsupportive and seemed filled with hard stuff of some kind. I slept very badly and cannot recommend the experience to anyone.

Day two's report will give a different (better but still not truly satisfactory) overnight hotel experience.

Ironically enough, both short-time hotels easily beat out the Hotel Feliciana in quality and comfort. I would have actually liked to have spent the night at the AB short time hotel.

I remembered vaguely some recommendations of hotels from Club Hombre, but was not smart enough to write them down, and I had no idea as to their location in any event. Perhaps someone can help me out for next time - are there any decent hotels within walking distance of AB?

I remembered that the parking would charge me for another day if I got in after 10:00, so I decided to leave the room at 8:00-odd to give me plenty of time to cross the border. I wound up leaving at 7:50, getting to the border around 8:00 and getting out of there by 8:15.

It doesn't sound like a lot of time, but the whole atmosphere of the intake to the United States seemed designed to intimidate, and I have to say it left me a little depressed. I was quickly processed by a pleasantly efficient clerk and was once again back to the land of the free ... and home of the celibate.

Here's a breakdown of approximate costs of my journey to date:

LuLu $60 (I offered her $50 and then didn't have the change. I didn't want to push the issue because with her excellent BBBJ I already knew she'd deserve the extra $10.)
LuLu's room: $11
Total: $71
(Cleaning person didn't emerge quickly enough for me to give him a tip; we were already halfway out before he showed up. LuLu ignored him so so did I).

Oriental looking chica: $50 (I wised up and had change)
Room: $11
Tip for cleaning person: $1
Tip for desk guy Oriental insisted I give to: $1

Total spent on Chicas: $110; short-time rooms $24.
Cab to and from the border: $6 from, $7 to, $13

Awful hotel: $24
One & 1/2 full tanks of gas for trip to and from TJ: $56 (My Mercedes 420SEL gets about 15mpg)

Total cost: $207

You might have noticed no mention of alcohol or drinks; this is simply because I think alcohol tastes like paint thinner and don't care to consume it. This really helps keep costs down at places like this, although I'm sure it also deprives me of some interesting experiences dealing with slutty drunk chicas.

I (wisely, in my opinion) had dinner before leaving for TJ, so I was not hungry when I was there and ate nothing. I must admit I found nothing appetizing around the Zona, so I suspect I will continue this practice unless a Hombre or two points out a good restaurant within safe walking distance.

Watch for day two and conclusions in the next couple of days. I hope you enjoyed the report!

Man, this brings back memories of being a terrified white boy afraid of my own shadow on my first trip to TJ. I was scared to DEATH that the taxi driver that I asked to take me to TJ around midnight one night was going to take me for a ride to some dark alley and rob me. I was always pretty brave about eating the food though, and like most of your fears, unfounded.

It was very interesting to hear your perspective. Keep going and pretty soon the "ugly, tacky and sleazy" will all seem kind of quaint.

Re: Hotels, why not just stay at the Hotel Coahuila (the Adelitas hotel)? It may not be the easiest place to get a room during prime time (10 PM - 2 AM) on a weekend night, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

And re: taxis, they certainly WILL still take you to the Zona Norte from the border (and vice versa) for 5 bucks. If the first guy doesn't want to do it, ask the next one. Next time you might want to make a RIGHT to head toward the farmacias and deal with the cabbies lined up there instead of a left to go to the regular taxi stand. Also, the cabbies right outside Adelitas are notorious for price gouging. Walk a half a block and you will find any number of guys happy to get your 5 bucks. Take your savings and buy yourself a coke and actually sit down and check out what's going on in the bars!

Oh, and don't be a wuss, ask for your change if you had agreed on a price. You didn't tell the cashier at the gas station to keep the change, did you? Tipping 20% because you don't have change doesn't make a lot of sense. It's a business transaction and you needn't feel guilty about it.

I have to say overall that the rooms and experience was a lot LESS ugly, tacky and sleazy than I expected -- but I really needed a good title to get people to read the review :-).

On Day Two, I did exactly what you suggested, but they were full up. I guess I should try getting in somewhat earlier and setting up the room as my first act.

What is the business relationship between the chicas and the club? I asked Lulu on Day Two if I could take her to my room, and she said she was "on duty" at AB's until very late. Do the girls get commissions on the rooms, or are they simply required to drive business to the rooms to continue inhabiting AB's?

You are right about the change, especially since I repeated with her and just gave her $60. So I have now overpaid her by $20, and I have to assume that trying to go back down to $50 would create floods of tears, long-winded explanations about her family's needs, and so on. So I'm stuck, sort of, since I really liked her performance and attitude better than the other chicas.

I have to leave now; Part Two should be coming tonight.

D

Following up on what Porker said about the taxis.

I always pay five bucks. I never ask the price. I get in the taxi tell them where I want to go. Have the usual small talk with the driver about the great women and MP's he could take me to. Get to my destination, hand him five bucks and that get out.
Why bother discussing a price when they will take five buck when you hand it to them

Cmac

Cabs are $5. I do just like CMAC ... hand them a $5 and get out.

-Superman-

"Ugly, Tacky, Sleazy" wasn't that an album by TLC from about '95?


"My Mercedes 420SEL gets about 15mpg" Thank God I don't own a huge(as in expensive) car like that. It would put a serious dent into my pussy fund.


Overall it sounds like you did pretty good for your first trip down there. I hope we will hear more.

For the future if you need a room in the Zona there is also Cascadas(just west of AB, above Las Chavelas), Rizo de Oro(to the west and across the street form AB, above Tropical), or Levya(just north of CC).

snapper


(Message edited by snapper on May 26, 2003)

I have had many many cab rides through-out TJ

I remember when I used to frequent the zona on a weekend nightly basis and the Yellow taxis outside Adelitas always wanted between 7 thru 10 dollars !! Thats white boy prices !
I would just walk to CC club and take the non yellow Taxis. Now the Taxis outside CC are the yellow ones. And don't believe this whiteboy shit that is posted in the clubs that say " Take a yellow cab it is safer "

I have has more arguments and problems with yellow cabs than any other. I have had zero problems with non yellow taxis and about 6 to 7 incidents with Yellow cabs.

Some problems ...
One time from the border I just got in and the Taxi driver let me out near CC club and said 8 dollars. I told him no way and drive me back then and he got real pissy and threatened to call the police and I just told him "Go Ahead" and he just said "Get out" and I paid the 5 fucks

One time with my friend from Boston with me we took a Yellow cab from the border and when he dropped us off I gave him 5 fucks and he locked the doors and said no its 7 dollars now. I really ripped into this taxi driver and told him off and said we are not stupid gringos if you don't unlock the door I will file a complaint and he just took the money

One other loser really fucked me good. I was with a chica from the zona and we went out to Zona Rio and I hailed a yellow cab and dropped her off in the zona and while driving there asked how much to drop her off and go to the border and he said 7 fucks so I was ok great. Well that scumbag charged me 5 to the zona and 7 to the border !!! This is when I was a brand new white loser here in TJ and I didn't know any better. 12 fucks from zona rio to the zona to the border

I have taken the yellow cabs over 100 times and only had about 7 problems and have taken over 100 non yellow cab rides and had zero problems.

I recently took a yellow cab from Rev to the Airport and asked him to give me a non haggle price and I couldnt believe he started with 10 fucks I didn't even argue for less and gave him a 1 fuck tip for not trying to fuck me

How did I get into this Taxi ranting ?

-Milkman-

DD, congrats on your second trip report, and your first in SoCal's fine back yard. This report, like your previous one, has a certain nostalgic newbie charm, as well as some Hitchcock elements.... as in Noooo!! Noooo!!! Don't do that!!!! in slow motion. By all means, keep reporting.

As a general rule, you might not want to publish e-mail addresses of chicas that you hook up with. She gave that address to you, and not to the usual suspects at this website.

I find that room quality is highly variable at AB/Coahuila and CC/Levya. Don't settle for a crappy room.

AB has clearly upgraded many of its rooms within the last year, and added new rooms as well. They have built recessed arches in many rooms, and they have added mirrored headboards (lots of fun) that fit snugly into those recessed arches. In some of those rooms, the arches are lit by halogen lights controlled by a dimmer switch (very nice). But at some point during construction, they cheaped out and installed regular on-off switches in most of the rooms, instead of dimmer switches. This was an unfortunate mistake, unless you like getting a fake-bake tan while slathering your johnson inside of a Zona Norte delicacy.

I believe that AB has also increased the number of rooms that have televisions/porn. Many girls will make a bee line for the TV and flip on the porn station--it is amusing when they get turned on by it.

Even with the upgrades at AB/Coahuila, I would not exactly call AB elegant. And some of those rooms remain considerably vile. Some of those rooms don't have a functional shower, and it is a good idea to check that out before accepting the room. Don't settle for an unclean, vile room, and don't hesitate to ask for a clean sheet to toss over the bed.

With regard to eating in the Zona Norte, your newbie caution is perhaps warranted for your first trip. That said, there's plenty of good food to be had. If you are especially squeemish, head for Al Capone's, next to the Chicago Club. That is the cleanest, nicest place to eat in the Zona Norte, and you won't regret eating there. (go easy on the onions if you plan to indulge in additional chicas). Then, once you realize that you haven't perished from Zona Norte fine dining, you will be ready to head for one of the taco stands. The taco place next to Al Capone's is consistently very good, though there are plenty of good taco stands and taco carts.

Anyway, keep up the good work.

So far, in four AB encounters, I have always gotten the upgraded rooms. However, I don't think I've ever seen the halogens on dimmer switches; they have always been yes or no, and I know without asking that the chica would say no since they were too bright even for my eyes looking down at the bed.

AB/Coahuila is still a lot better than the alternatives I checked out. Can you get a key to the room overnight? It seems that with minimal security it would not be the best place to bring camera equipment. For that reason, I will probably just stick with my pocket camera as soon as I get it back.

The Hitchcock newbie thrill will become really intense with the next installment. I did something really, really dumb.

I was hoping someone would identify the chica through the email but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. Perhaps I should ask Hombre to take it out.

Thanks to all you folks for the cab info/stories; I will try moving to a less close cab stand and see if I save money.

D

Here is what my FAV told me this week about how Adelita's controls the girls who work there. She is not a hotty but has a great personality. She comments that she goes the extra mile being nice in the bar with us, and gets many repeats because of her kindness, since she knows she isn't a hotty and doesn't want to be. She is really more sultry.

A girl must work two slow nights a week in order to have the opportunity to work Friday and Saturday. If they miss one of the slow days (Monday thru Wednesday), they are denied the opportunity to work for a week. So my friend was denied work this week because she spent her slow day with me, and was too tired. I suggested she give the door man twenty bucks to see if he would let her work. He took it, but still wouldn't let her work Friday. So I hope you guys found her and make her a lot of money. It's easier on me that way.

The ficha at AB works like this for her. For each one she turns in at the end of the night, she gets a dollar. She earns two fichas for each drink the guys buy the girls.

AB keeps the girls until their 10 hour shift is complete. Usually at 6 or 7 a.m.

There are girls who show up everyday, so their hours are more flexible.

A little trick you can use to help out your amiga: if you are going to see her on a week night, have her go to work at her usual time. Then show up a little later, and bar fine her. At AB it is only $10.

She gets credit for working that night, you get her, and everyone is happy.

Milk, I used one of the fuckers in front of AB to take a former HK chica to Plaza Rio. Simply handed him 5 bucks as we got out. He started yelling at me demanding more money. Then started blowing his whistle, like all the taxi driver reinforecements were supposed to come help him and beat the extra 2 bucks he wanted out of me or something. We just walked into Plaza Rio. I thought it was pretty damned funny, but it might be embarrassing for someone ELSE with a concubine in tow. They all KNOW I'm cheaper than a day old newspaper.

Great report Davidd. I remember my first trip to Tijuana last year. I don't read the trip reports there too often but the name of your heading made me look. Ha, ha. You are totally right. I expected something seedy and I got it. But you know what? I had a good time. I've said it before and I'll say it again. For those of you in Southern California it's a very easy trip.

Yeah, "jet setting" around the world on trips is a lot of fun but it's also VERY expensive too. Not to mention the time it takes to be away from work. TJ is a simple trip that you can take advantage of if you live there or you are in San Diego on business.

Glad you had a fun time.

who do you barfine. can every girl do this? Do they all know about this? Where is the best all night hotel that you can go to and how much. Where is it in relation to the club and how far of a walk. Sorry bout Im a newbie

"(Maybe she'd had a kid?)"

In Mexico, every puta has at least a couple of kids. Actually, every Mexicana over the age of 19 has a couple of kids.

Volcom, I think on Friday/Saturday the girls would be unlikely to accept a barfine since they'd be giving up the chance to have a lot of sessions and therefore make a lot of money. The fellow who suggested I barfine someone mentioned this was for weekdays only, when they typically would struggle to get even one session.

You can stay overnight at the AB or CC hotel when it's not full (i.e. when you'd be able to barfine someone). Rate is around $22 a night.

The only hotel I know of that's not basically short time rooms is horrid (see my report) so I would not recommend it.

Hope that helps.

D