Labor Day Weekend 9/1-2/01

So my friends will stop bugging me about this (and you know who you are!!)...

Before I begin I want everyone to know I realize this is REMARKABLY late!! Between work (and additional trips) I have been unable to find the time to give this the time it deserves…

The trip from LA was long. Traffic was bad before I reached the cement titties so I knew I was in for the long haul. I was going down there to see off my buddy Progman and his friend Pat as they were going on the LOS tour (Thailand and PI).

Backing up a bit, a buddy, Carni, was also thinking about coming down but complained that he worked and so would be unable to join us. I had bugged Carni all week, but he seemed impervious to the call of Mexican whores. We had traveled south before and enjoyed ourselves, but he did not hear the cute brown sirens sing their terrible song as I do. That morning, he calls me 3 minutes into Orange County. “So you’re on your way, eh?” “Yeah, you really should come on down!! This is the last opportunity for a while and Prog needs some of our brown girls to compare to the other brown girls.” Back and forth we went. “You should join us. I’ll get a double room so it will be cheaper. We can share. We’ll have fun. It’ll be great…” On and on we go. Finally he gets off the phone.

Enter that shitty traffic again. I claw my way past Oceanside and it opens up. The sun is shining and life is beautiful…

On the 805 my phone rings again. “Heah, what’s going on?” “I’m 10 minutes to the border.” "Well, you have fun.” "No, you’re going to come down and have a good time.” "I can’t. I have to work and there would be too much explaining to do.” “Look, no is NOT an option. I’m telling you now that I am renting you a room. You and I will have rooms in Cascadas right next to each other. You will come down here and have a GREAT TIME!!!! If you don’t come down you will owe me $30 dollars. You know you don’t want to owe me that $30. (Since he’s Jewish and we always joke about it I played that card) How would your family feel if they found out you paid for a hotel room and didn’t use it? That’s like throwing money away!! It would kill your NaNa!!”

Dead silence follows. As a commissioned salesman, I understand the power of silence. You give people all they need to know, then let them talk themselves into it. 5 seconds… 10 seconds… 30 seconds… 1 minute… By now I’ve passed San Ysidro drive with one exit to go. The clock keeps ticking…

“OK. I’ll get out of work a little early and meet you down there. When and where?”

I am VICTORIOUS!!!! I tell him I’ll meet him in front of AB at 6. If he can’t make it we’ll try each successive hour until we hook up. Deal.

I park and grab my bags. Through the clanking turnstiles, past the sewer, through the second set and I’m getting prices for Constitucion and 1st. $5 later it’s noon and I’m walking down the hill toward the alley. I get the rooms at Cascadas and hook up with Prog/Pat. I’m ready for action, but P/P have been in TJ since the previous afternoon and they needed food. I mention pizza (Vittorio’s) and we’re on our way!!

Pizza is great (#12 is the best!!). Prog stops for a pack o’ sigs and we decide to go SKANKIN’!!

Around 2:00 it’s down the stairs and into Unicornio we go. I’m armed with my WF flashlight and we get mobbed. Sitting down and ordering drinks the “parade of skanks” begins. One with a GIANT ass mobs me and begins sticking her tongue in my ear, chewing the lobe, licking my neck, promising me the ultimate pleasure, etc. Prog has one that used to give me HJ’s there and Pat is also obscured by his own trashy girl. Mine offers me sex in the room for $50. I laugh so hard I thought my head would pop!! She didn’t appreciate that response, but continued with her pitch. I offered to bang her in one of the booths in the back for $20 and hold firm. She agrees so I retire to the far corner near the ladies bathroom. Prog’s girl offers head in a booth so he’s gone too. Pat also takes his girl to a booth and the game is afoot.

Her name is Sylvia and she’s not pretty (I’m being kind), but she is ENTHUSIASTIC!! Begins by sucking my cock like it’s her first meal in days!! Pops her head up, looks for the manager, then back down to suck some more!! Unfortunately, the prairie dog routine didn’t save us. Here comes the boss… “If you wanna fuck her, get a room!!” That’s not very sportsmanlike. What gave it away? Hmmm. Couldn’t be the condom on the table!! I tell her I’m gonna go and she tells me to wait. Some HJ/BJ action follows but I’m not impressed. Finally I’m getting up and out of the booth and she drags me back. She pulls out my cock, tugs her panties aside and drops right on my dick while facing the door!!

At this point Prog and Pat are bored. Prog banged his girl too (no meddling manager for him…) and Pat dropped his after realizing she’s completely insane!! As I’m fucking her Prog is pointing my WF light at me and flashing it on and off. To top it off the guy in the next booth is trying to sneak a peek in!! It wasn’t until later that I realized the black light I was sitting under turned my shirt into a GIANT BEACON!! So, when I’m fucking the girl it looked like I was in the middle of an earthquake!! She was moving that giant ass and I was flailing around behind her like a dinghy in stormy seas…

Realizing this isn’t working for me I have a bright idea: I’ll take her into the mens room and finish there!! I tell her to follow in a few seconds and go in. Hmmm. Forgot about the attendant. He’s got his mop and he’s busy. Not 3 seconds later she pops in!! They start talking and we end up cutting a deal. The guy will leave us alone for $2. I figure I’m in it this far what the hell… (Turns out the bathroom attendant steps outside the door facing the club, plants his mop on the ground in front of him and stands guard like he was outside the kings bedroom. I felt like royalty!! heheh

I take her into one of the stalls, prop that giant ass on the back of the tank and bang away!! The top of the tank is loose and it begins make a godawful racket as we fuck like teenagers. After about 2 minutes (and her almost falling off the toilet completely) I decide to bite the bullet and just get a damn room!! So, off to the races.

Room is $20 and we get inside and there’s no soft touchy foreplay. I’m ready to FUCK. Her panties don’t even come off – just tugged to the side. I’m through the door, shorts on the floor, condom on dick and 10 seconds later I was inside pounding away!! I was SO ready to pop!! We only fuck for a few minutes and then bingo – load away!!

We shower, playing around the whole time, and it turns out she’s actually turned on. Her pussy was really clean, smelled great and tasted pretty good too. I owed her $20 so forked it over.

As we were getting ready to leave I came up behind her and began playing with her pussy again. She was VERY receptive. She offered another $20 for another session (no knock so far) and we were off to the races again!!

This time there was more foreplay, she got on her knees and blew me, and then we hopped on the bed. We were fucking for a bit and she was REALLY enjoying herself. She came a few times (believe it or not) and there was so much pussy juice around it felt like I stopped having sex and was just throwing a hotdog down a hallway.

I begin playing with her ass. She says “No, no, no!!” As I’m fucking her I keep playing with it (her pussy juices kept it well lubricated) and she started getting into it. She then said I could, but I had to be VERY gentle (and pay an additional $20). I figure what the heck, tilt her a little farther back (we were in missionary already) and entered her ass. Nice and tight. She was in pain at first, but then started getting into it!! She began playing with her clit and she came 2 more times!! The only problem was that damn pussy juice again. Her pussy was pumping out quarts of the stuff!! Her ass became almost as loose as her pussy. I turn her over for doggie and we keep going!!

Now I kept pulling out every minute or two to wipe off some of the lube/juice and things began tightening up. She was still playing with her pussy and her fingernails were rubbing my balls. It was great!! I was closing in on Shangri-La once again!!

Since I had been fucking her for a while the condom was feeling rather “abused”. It was slipping down my dick so I would pull out every few minutes to make sure all was well. However, all that lube she was producing was not helping!! At least in doggie I wasn’t catching any more of it, but it was flowing so that it was dripping off her box and onto the bedspread.

After checking the condom again I stick my dick back in her ass. However, something felt a little different. My first thought was “I’ve got rid of enough lube that I can actually feel the sides again.” However, things kept changing… It just didn’t feel right. Like things were a bit more “viscous” then before. Finally, closing in on my second orgasm, I pull my dick out for one more check/lube wipe…

My dick, abdomen, hand and the bedspread were covered in shit!!!! Chunks came off of my cock and her ass is just oozing something that can only be described and unsavory!! I freak out, run into the bathroom and begin to use ½ the bar of soap to clean me up!! As I begin cleaning myself I realize my condom had come off IN HER ASS!!!! I soaped my hand and cock at least 4 times. Then, I hop into the shower and repeat!! She joined me, we had some more fun with the soap (might as well, I paid for it) and I finally finish with a nice stream of piss that will hopefully clean out any “shitbits” left behind.

We dry off (it’s now about 4:00) and I need to find Prog/Pat. I pay my tab with the girl and head back to the club to find my buds. They are nowhere to be seen (you mean they didn’t wait 2 hours for me?!?!) and so I head back to the hotel. I roll past Prog’s room and he was freaked out. He thought I was in jail or something!! I was gone quite a while. I relay the story and he can’t stop laughing!! Yeah, the condom thing is serious, (I didn’t mention it to her and I never saw her remove it so it could be there still) but all in all a VERY funny story!! We decide to hook up outside AB around 7 for food and fun so I go to my room.

I wanted a nap, but with only ½ hour before I meet my buddy Carni I didn’t want to even attempt a nap. I would have just slept through until 9 or 10!! So I turn on the TV and Star Trek: The Next Generation is on!! I nerd out until 6, turn off the tube and head down to AB.

I wait for 15 minutes, but he still hadn’t showed so this gave me 45 minutes to wander before I needed to meet him again. I begin to cruise the street meat and run into an American girl I wanted to bang the last time I saw her. Narcissa. When she's not on drugs she’s a lot prettier. When she’s high, she really looks fucked up!! Her eyes looked clear and she offered $20 for half-and-half. Off to the races again!!

Back in the room she asked if she could shower and, preferring clean whores to dirty ones, I said “sure.” Gave her one of my disposable toothbrushes and let her get busy. She came out spic and span and we got down to business. Head was good, threw on the hat and we banged away for a bit. Now, I was feeling adventurous and so I asked about her ass. She hemmed and hawed about it and we came to an arrangement. Once more, into the breach!!

Her ass was VICE-LIKE. Remarkably tight!! I’m fucking away, hanging onto her hips and I’m getting close…

(ring-ring) – WTF?!?! It’s Prog saying they were ready to roll. When I talked to him around 5:30 I asked him to call my room around 6:45 so I could have 15 mins to wake up (if I was napping) before meeting my buddy. As an afterthought I ask him what time it is. He says 7:00. Ahhh shit!!!! I gotta meet my bud. I tell Prog I’ll meet him down in front of AB in 10 minutes and to look for my buddy Carni (I gave Prog his real name). He asks how he’ll find him and I say “Look for the guy hanging around AB with an overnight bag that answers to his name!!” He says OK and hangs up. My dick was not happy with the interruption… I tore off the condom and began jacking off on her chest. No titties to speak of but I’ve got one hand in her pussy and the other working my joint. In the spirit of things she reaches up to play with my balls and things are progressing nicely…

(ring-ring). Someone please tell me I will wake up and this phone is a bad dream!! I answer it again (I was off the phone less then a minute) and it’s Prog again!! “Hey, why aren’t you down here yet?” “I’ll meet you in front of AB in 10 mins, OK?” “Yeah, OK.”

It was a lost cause. My dick was just done. He didn’t want to play anymore!! Narcissa was willing to work with me, but Little Elvis wasn’t!! I gave her the money, dressed, and went downstairs.

Prog found Carni and we all decided to get something to eat so we got a table at the tiny little place next to AB. Introductions all around the table and I relay the story of (ring-ring). Lots of laughs (Prog didn’t realize I had “company”) and we order our food. Now Carni breaks out “the surprise”. He says he bought “walkie-talkies”. I’m thinking they are gonna have GI Joe or Barbie on the front and he whips out some of the fancy Motorolas!! 2 mile range. Imagine the possibilities… Load the batteries and we begin to prowl.

We hit CC. Pat sees one little honey he banged the night before and told us how completely incredible she was!! In the meantime, being the pervert I am I start sweet-talking the waitress!! Big ass and big tits. Can’t go wrong there!! My buddy Carni (who only has been with bar girls from AB or CC) doesn’t want his first to be from here. I ask why and he says “I don’t want to pay $70 for 2 minutes!!” He was ready to go!! We did our prowl of the alley and we came across Marisol holding up one of the walls. I have been with her a couple of times – pretty and accommodating. She recognizes me and begins the sales pitch. I tell her I would like her to meet my friend Carni and like the pro she is she immediately begins pitching him. The cut a deal and it’s up the stairs of Cascadas he goes!!

I turn my radio on figuring we’ll hear from him in a couple of minutes. Pat wanders off saying he’s got to hook up with his little CC princess and so Prog and I wait downstairs for Carni

And wait

And wait

I finally go up to my room an hour later. I go in my room, here his door open and close, then the sound of heels down the hallway. I open my door again and say “WTF happened?!?!” He says “I am a GOD” and relays the story of how he ends up having to bargain for more time because he just couldn’t nut!! (Guess you can have too much cum built up…) Ended up renting her for a full hour. He took all the time too!! We all had a good laugh.

While waiting for Carni I was approached by an American SG named Sherry (from Kansas). Nice girl and seemed real pretty. I got the usual sob story (I just got out of prison, I’ve got no money) stuff and she asked if I was interested in all night. Hmmm. Interesting. I told her I only have $60 and she then said “How about $50. I don’t want to take all your money.” I’ve never heard of a SG bargaining herself down before!! This could be cool…

We prowled the Hotel Najera crowd of gals for a bit before Sherry showed again. My buddies sent me off for my $50 all-nighter.

I get her to the room, we laugh and joke a bit and then she says she wants something to eat. I send her away (having paid no money yet) and she comes back in about 20 minutes with mountains of junk food and begins eating ravenously!! After that I ask her to take a shower and she says she wants to go back to her place for some clothes then. I say OK. She leaves again. My buddies are on the radio asking what the hell is going on? I tell them I honestly don’t know, but she shows up again after another 20-30 minutes. By this time I’m about to fall asleep. It’s kinda late, and E needs his beauty sleep!! I send her to the shower to clean off the grime.

She comes into the room from the bathroom with one of those postage stamp sized towels around her and I realize something is TERRIBLY WRONG!! She has the loose folds of skin just hanging from her!! It’s like she weighed about 400 pounds and then lost it all in about a month!!!! Not pretty!! She still raves about her head so I decide do have her blow me. She’s so damn tired she actually fell asleep while trying to suck my cock!! She cracked open her legs and there was some olfactory evidence that “work was needed.”

Just told her I was tired and she could go, but she wanted to stay and ended up sleeping with me. That ended up being the best part too!! It had been a while since I slept with someone next to me and, while it took a bit of getting used to, she was a decent sleep mate.

The next morning I bought us breakfast at that little restaurant next to AB and sent her on her way with a few bucks (I try to be a decent guy. Doesn’t always work, but I try!!) and look for a nice morning lay.

Susana was one of the hot SG’s at the time so I decided she would be “breakfast”. She had a SCORCHING body (one of the best I have EVER seen naked) and we agreed to some time in my room. Heard she liked anal, but she shut me down for that. Even so, it was just a pleasure to fuck such a pretty girl. Her ringing telephone was a buzzkill, but she got off the phone fast and we continued. I ended up jacking off into the bedding while she stuck her perfect pussy and ass in my face. Running my hands over her ass and box was one of the highlights of the year!! It’s honestly that good…

End up getting a call from Carni. Prog and Pat woke up late and needed to cross the border to catch their flight to Bangkok. Carni and I wandered out of Cascadas after cleaning myself up and we crossed the border for the long drive home.

Since we drove separately, those radios came in handy once again!! Pissed off some family that was on the same channel (doesn’t little Johnnie want to hear about how tight Narcissa’s asshole is?) but sometimes life’s just that way.

So, for all the folks waiting for this report here ya go. For all those still with me after these many pages I hope you enjoyed my trip too!!

Epimetheus

you're sick!!!

Thanks!!

E

Two thumbs up, fine holiday fare,take the whole family. You are truly insane and worthy of many accolades. I loved " SHITBITS".

Senorpanocha

I'm happy to have brightened your day. I describe the trip two ways: "I laughed, I cried, I gave it a thumbs up!!" or "Fruity, yet not pretentious, with a nice finish."

E

Epimetheus,

That was a great weekend! Not too many can top that one...

I'm at the Singapore airport, waiting for my flight back to the USA. Don't forget to pick me up at LAX! ... (prog)

I hate those black-lights. Did you see those pants I had on the night we were all out drink'n? I spilt spaghetti sauce on those pants last week so I soaked that area in detergent. Needles to say, the black-lights were highlighting the proteins that the detergent left in the denim. It looked like I had just returned from getting a really good lap-dance.

-snapper-