Tonight, for the first time, I suspected an AB chica of liberating some money from my wallet in the hotel room. In retrospect, my poor short-term memory was the problem, not her honesty. I didn’t call her a thief (thank God) but I did point out that $10 seemed to be missing from my wallet (close enough). Of course I felt really embarrassed and stupid when I realized what had happened. She didn’t seem to be upset with me, but there certainly was no smile on her face when she left. In this thread I hope our collective wisdom can shed some light on the subject of trust. I had considered waiting a few days before posting, to process my own thoughts and feelings about what happened tonight. But I decided to open up the discussion right away.

Usually I know exactly how much money I have with me when I leave home. For one thing, I want to be sure that I have enough for the planned activities. And knowing the starting figure, I keep an approximate running tally to stay on budget. At the end of the night there is typically $5-10 unaccounted for. If I think really hard I can usually remember the extra drink, tip, parking fee or other small outlay to account for the last few dollars. I have never suspected theft as the cause of any ‘missing’ money.

Tonight I was dressing after a session upstairs with someone new to me. She asked if I were returning to the bar and I said, “maybe for a little while”. She said “see you later”, kissed my cheek and left. What caused me to check my wallet at that moment? Why didn’t I trust her? I had showered both before and after the sex while she was alone in the room with my clothes. But I have done that on other occasions with other women. Was it the fact that she had suggested more than once that we should go for an hour instead of 30 minutes? She had even mentioned that we should do an overnight sometime. We had just met and she is suggesting TLN? That can’t be sincere, can it? Someone so anxious to get more money out of me might be willing to steal from me, right? Enough rhetorical questions.

I think a big part of my distrust was a result of the fact that our session was less than I expected/hoped it would be. (Gee, that never happened before.) I prefer not to be too demanding in a first session. I like to see how enthusiastic and affectionate the chica is on her own, without my having to ask for it. So, what did she do/not do that disappointed me? Specifically: (1) She asked to be paid before we started. (2) The CBJ consisted of her bobbing her head up and down in the vicinity of my abdomen while rubbing my penis with the tips of her fingers. (3) After the ‘BJ’ she put on a second condom for the penetration. (4) Because of the super-tight ‘grip’ of the double condom, plus all the extra lube she had put inside the first condom, the act of insertion almost triggered my orgasm. And even though I twice asked her to ‘give me a moment’ to prepare myself for the humping portion of the festivities she immediately began thrusting and squeezing my dick with her panocha. This, of course, triggered my orgasm in about 10 seconds.

I know, I know, I am the one who chose to be passive and let her dictate the action. If I am dissatisfied with the session I am partly to blame. But all that was in the back of my mind when she left me in the room to head back to the bar. I was completely dressed except for my shoes and socks. I thought to myself, “she can’t be bothered to wait 60 seconds for me to finish dressing so we can walk down together?” I jumped to the conclusion that she wanted to leave quickly for some reason. And when I looked in my wallet expecting to see a $20 bill and a $10 bill, and found only the $20, I assumed she took the ‘missing’ $10.

She was halfway down the hall by now. I called her back to the room and said I was missing the money. She opened her purse to show me the $50 bill I had paid her with. I was her first customer of the day so it was the only bill there. She then reminded me that I had paid for the room with a $10 bill (plus a $1). Of course she was correct, and I felt about 2” tall. I apologized and she left.

The strange thing is that AB is one of the places in TJ where I feel totally comfortable. I routinely throw $10 and even $20 bills on the waiters’ trays, even in the darkest corners of the bar, confidant that the correct change will come back. And no chica has ever been dishonest with me. But I know that I can’t routinely expect sessions in the hotel to live up to the promise of the bar. Of course some sessions turn out better than expected. But you can not assume that ahead of time. So, in general I don’t “trust” the chicas in that regard. Tonight I confused that kind of trust with trusting a person’s personal integrity. Hours later I still feel bad about it. Maybe I am making too much out of it. After all, why worry about the feelings of a sex provider? Having people suspect you of theft is probably part of the territory for prostitutes, right? I am being facetious. I haven’t figured out yet exactly what lesson I can learn from tonight.

I hope this will kick off a discussion about the different aspects of trust. If you are too trusting, others can take advantage of you, especially in places like TJ. But how enjoyable can mongering be if there is a constant undercurrent of cynicism and distrust? Let’s hear some other viewpoints…Bosco

"I haven't figured out yet exactly what lesson I can learn from tonight"

Bosco, partaking of "colitas" does have its costs.

(Lightheartedly submitted, damn it!)

Bosco,

Sometimes a girl can just strike you the wrong way, before or after you've been with her.

We've all met a chica that looked good, but when we started talking to her got that 'bad feeling' and passed on. (Ok, sometimes i should have passed and didn't)

Sometime during your session, she said, did, or DIDN'T do something that started the suspicion meter ticking. It happens.

Skip her, unless you really think that more conversation with her will put you back at ease.

Ok, you were wrong about her. That doesn't mean you owe her anything.

Don't kick yourself for your let's-see-what-we've-got-here approach. I'm sure you find your share of gems and enjoy many sessions with them, as to other types of girls, you can't get blood from a turnip. When I take a new girl out I expect it to be only OK, and I'm looking for the newness for the kick. If it turns out to be a good session in the sense that I want more because there's more there to be got then so much the better, but basically I think of myself as scouting for the keepers.

Now the trust issue is very interesting to me. Sometimes I just don't have my mo-jo. Deep down I just don't feel fully confident for no good reason. And on the odd night when this happens I've found myself projecting bad intentions onto the girls. I've often wondered if it's because I'm feeling less generous toward them that they act less generous to me. If that's a general law of mongering then an incident like what you describe has to do with feeling subtly out of whack and needing to make the girl into part of the problem. I wrote about this a little bit in my last trip report which is in the Costa Rica section.

Cheers...

First let me say you are not alone. I had a TLN (thank you so much Drew, StrikeEagle, Daytimer, and all others, for your suggestions). I didn’t go up with her first but went for the TLN straight. Shouldn’t have done that but I was lucky that it went reasonably well.

The next morning I took shower first. I had my money belt with me in the bathroom, but I left my wallet in my pants in the bedroom. She wouldn’t take shower with me and she locked the door when she was in the bathroom. While she was in the shower I reorganized my money and I found only one dollar in my wallet. I recalled the previous night when I paid for the food deliveries, there’s more than that. However I couldn’t be sure exactly how much. I took the payment out from my money belt and laid down the payment next to her clothes on the table, which was about seven yards away from the bed.

She came out from the shower, took her clothes to the bed but completely ignored the payment. She got dressed, sat on the bed watching TV, and we chatted a little. It was time to go. I made a final inspection on the bathroom to make sure nothing valuable left behind. I was there for no more than fifteen seconds. When I returned, she was still sitting in the bed in exactly the same spot watching TV, but the payment was gone.

I had no evidence that she had touched my wallet so I didn’t question her. But I felt bad about this so I didn’t offer her a breakfast. She gave me her phone number and we parted. I decided to put the issue behind. Two days later we went up again. After the business I pulled out my wallet and she said that’s ok. Wow, I might just get a freebie! I didn’t want to owe her a favor so I insisted on paying her the going rate plus a tip. She accepted the going rate but declined the tip. To this day I am still unsure what happened in that morning. But I am glad I didn’t question her.

What I learned from this experience is to avoid getting into this sticky situation and don’t let it ruin the good memories. Now when I walk into a club, my wallet has only moneys for a girl, the room, one ficha, one drink for myself, and some spare dollars. After paying my drink, the ficha, the room, the girl, nothing much is left. The girl loves to see my empty wallet. She thinks I just spent all my money on her (LOL). In the room I put my clothes far away from hers and far away from the bed. After the deeds, shower together if she allows. Otherwise let her shower first so I have time to collect myself.

By the way, I went out with the same girl once. She found a twenty-peso coin in the street. She picked it up and handed to me. I said you keep it. She then use it to pay for the collectivo taxi we rode. What a girl!

Bosco,
For me, if I found a chica with a pancoha who could work it so good that I could come in 10 Seconds while wearing Two Condoms I would nominate her for an award and tip her $ 20.
As for the other part, Look at this as a lesson as you might be getting TOO comfortable in your travels down South. Victims never see it coming....So to speak. Take it as a wake up call. A lot of mongers have taken stuff for the Team so take in what they have to offer.
You said in your post " I know, I know I chose to be passive....." There is a difference about being passive to enjoy what you want to enjoy and being in you Power as a Man. Just my .02 cents.

I like Antonio's story. In mongering, it's never over. There's always surprises if you wait for them. A girl rips you off, and turns around and gives it back. That happens so often in so many ways if you give the mongering process time to unfold.

I think of an analogy from my business. The biggest mistake bettors make is what we call "playing for a decision." In other words some guy might really know something about football that would allow him to pick 55% winners and make some money. But he happens to lose four out of five games and now it's Sunday night and he wants to be even for the week so he makes a much bigger bet and now he's stuck and on tilt. The analogy is that one game, like one session, doesn't make the season. That's something I try to keep in mind. Every time you pick a girl and go through the warm-ups and the deeds and the post-game press conference no matter how it turns out you learn stuff that will help you deal with it all a little better next time. And this is especially true if you keep in mind that whatever you thought just happened to you may or may not have happened. There's a fine line bewteen being stupid and being too smart.

I love that line!

See Redongdo, I'm NOT stupid, I'm TOO SMART!!!

No you're not...you're Special!

Like somebody said the chica must have awesome talent to use her pussy to squeeze a wad out of someone wearing TWO condoms AND not entirely happy (w/ the BJ that is).

Either that or Bosco was EXTREMELY horny!

Anyway I always hated to spend top dollars for top look and came in 5 min because I couldn't pace myself. My solution: spend $20 to do a SG to pre-release myself before doing a club girl. Make her earn her money

I have had another 48 hours to reflect on my experience. All of your comments are pertinent. It will be interesting how she reacts to me the next time we see eachother in the bar. Will she avoid me? glare at me? The fact that she didn't react negatively in the room makes me think that perhaps she didn't pick up on the implication of my questions. Remember, I didn't call her a thief. I merely said I couldn't find the $10 bill that should have been in my wallet.

After she reminded me I had used it to pay for the room, I got an embarrassed look on my face and apologized. But at that point the look on her face was quizzical, not angry or offended, as if she were wondering why I was apologizing. Maybe she just thinks I am a dipshit gringo who can't remember where he puts things.

Thanks for your thoughtful responses...

Bonvvnt...I do feel at ease with her, that is to say that I don't feel she is dishonest. And you are right, I don't owe her anything. But I still have a lingering guilty feeling about suspecting her. And I hope that I am right about her not picking up on my accusatory vibe.

Bookie...you are right on the mark. You explained it differently, and better than I did. I too try to keep my expectations in check on the first trip upstairs. And your phrase, "scouting for the keepers", describes my MO perfectly. But this time my frustrations with the session caused my to project bad intentions onto her. I really was mad at myself for not being more assertive about the things that displeased me (but I didn't realize that until later).

Antonio9977030...so simple and so true. The best way to avoid an ambiguous situation is to prevent it from happening in the first place.

Bone...I do feel comfortable in TJ because I have my regular routes, hours, and destinations. I pride myself on planning things so as to minimize problems. I've never had any real trouble. And you are probably right, I am getting TOO comfortable. I couldn't quite make sense out of your last sentence, but I take your point about passivity. Although I think my mistake is not a matter of being too passive as the man in this equation, it is a matter of being too passive as the CLIENT in this equation. I should be clearer about what I expect and then make sure I get it.

Merenpapi...yes, I was extremely horny. I was almost ready to pop while she got the condoms situated. I should have taken a moment to get under control before climbing aboard. I told her I was close to coming, but then jumped right in (my mistake). As stated in the original post the insertion really took me to the edge and I asked her twice to give me a moment. But her agenda obviously was to get me off on her schedule, not mine.

Bosco,

Here's my delayed take. You are blowing this way out of proportion. In the lifestyle these folks work in getting ripped off, especially for relatively minor amounts, is commonplace. If you had flipped out and called her names and shit or complained to mgt then maybe there would some sort of carryover vibe.

It was a perfectly natural occurance to her that if you couldn't account for the tenner that you'd ask her as you were exploring the possibilities.

Blow it off, it meant nothing.