Being a newbie I have enjoyed reading all the great posts past and present. Here are my top 10 so far (no order): Dazed: Miriam the cross-eyed sg read a comic book while I was plowing her! May 31, 2002 Snapper: Chica held up my very full condom and said, "babies say goodbye to your daddy"! Erip: Imagine a sg who actually tries to get you hard BEFORE putting on the condom. Now that`s what I call sg sophistication! I-am-Sancho: Chica complaining, "I don`t like condoms. Men only use condoms with whores and I`m not a whore!" 7/25/03 Unknown: How can their novios fuck them sin condom w/ all that gringo jizz in their pussies? On the other hand that just might turn on those sick bastards! Aug. 2003 Silver: I`ve NEVER had a bad experience w/ a sg, and I don`t plan to! July 2003 Unknown: Her panocha could definatly use a trim. It`s a real fire hazard. Whatever you do don`t light a match in the room w/ her..."dry brush". July 2003 Unknown: Brothers by Dipstick! The late/great West Fargo at his best: See under Ques./Comm./Advice topic "cost of Mongering" dated 4/19/01 Sr. Pauncho: Joanna, apparently heavily lactating, almost DROWNED me during our $20 one song lap dance. (Thank god he didn`t buy a two song lap dance). Mr. Sluggo: Chica: "Joo wan com-pa-nee bay bee"? Sluggo: "I`m sorry, I don`t speak English"! July 28, 2002

Two more late but great additions to my list: Aardvark: She came out of the bathroom wearing a tiara and told me, "It`s my fantasy to be a princess And to be fucked as a princess". She held the thing to her head thru 3 positions until I finished! Oct. 11, 2000 Fuzzy: Ab Wendy asked me to cum all over her face-good for her complexion. I happily obliged. A few weeks later I asked her if she was ready for another "treatment". She said, "No, I found out it has to be from young men - then it`s full of healthful hormones! Nov. 3, 2000

It was a three (3) song lap-dance.

If you drink too fast, it unsettles the stomach.

Holy shit....that got me laughing big time!!!!

Thanks Jtull!

No Problem fellows- happy to offer them up. "Blasts From The Past", these get better with time and re-reads! An incredible display of TJ mongering at it`s absolute finest. No holds barred. You boys got any more GEMS stowed away up your sleeve or ___? Will be great if each originator would offer his thought on included event. Thanks Senior Pauncho! Tull.

(Message edited by jtull1 on August 22, 2003)

(Message edited by Jtull1 on August 22, 2003)

Here are two stories that happened to me that are probably my most memorable.

1)This one is of an amiga I met at CC. When I first met this chica she asked me in our conversation if I was her new novio. I explained to her,"I don't have novias, only amigas". She said to me cheerfully,"amigos are better". Anyway, after a while I asked her if she had a novio. I couldn't believe her answer when she said "I have seven". She said she had three novios in Tijuana, three in Chicago Club, and one back home in Monterey. I laughingly asked her if I was number eight. She said with perfect timing and delivery "No, we're amigos!"

That was the funniest exchange I've ever had with a chica. It happened over a year ago, but I'm sure I'll always remember it like it happened yesterday.


2)This one is of a chica at Miami. Anyway, I asked her if she had any kids. She told me that she only has one baby, a girl. Just after that I ask her if she has a novio or esposo. She said "No" to both. I point to a name tattooed on her arm that read "Hector", and ask her who that was. She said that's her baby(a girl remember). I pretend to play along, but inside I got a chuckle over that one.


There are a couple from other mongers that I really found funny, but I'll have to look them up to get the exact quotes.

Over a year ago there was an exchange on the main Mexico board where I reminded Ootie about the chica he told me about that took a shit just after his session with her and how it ruined the moment for him. Another poster said something along the lines of "Look at it this way, you fucked the shit out of her".

I was talking to an "amiga" at Tropical recently and she brought home to me just how standard it is for chicas to refer to regular customers as "novios" regardless of how coldly commercial the contacts may be...much as TJ message board posters over the years have tended to use the word "novia" when referring to "favoritas". "Novio" is also used in Spanish to refer to a fiancé. It has got to be one of the most confusing words in the Spanish language in that it indicates any one of a variety of differing relationships.

ERIP,

As usual you are right.

Sometimes thes girls slip and call me ATM instead of novio. It is very confusing to me.

Ben,

Glad to see you're getting a chuckle or two out of that ATM line. You're going to love the t-shirts I'm bringing this Saturday!

I wear an extra large.

What t-shirts are you talking about Cat?

Why do you enjoy tormenting an old defenseless man?

Shame on you.

Where is Byron?

Another great story is in Epimetheus' "TJ Labor Day Madness!!" trip report. What I think is great about it is the fact that it didn't happen to me.

An old defenseless man ?

Its a shame you must look for innocent young girls that have no desire to become prostitutes and throw money at them to becum your sex slaves and ruin their lives forever.
Your the shame of our community I hope your proud !!

Catocony you have my full blessing to abuse the eldery on saturday night

Hardly sex slaves as slaves work for free.

Yes, I am very proud.

milky what do you mean saturday night. he has a life time pass.

Ben (or, as they call Jason Biggs from the American Pie movies, PieFucker),

Byron ordered like a dozen shirts, I believe.

Ben spends money in the ZN, I make money on Ben spending money in the ZN. Just like Sampson does.

I am tuff!

I am still unclear how you are making money off of me spending money in the ZN???

Are you the Pies Padrote?

By selling a whole line of "Ben is Old" products - t-shirts, mugs, bumper stickers, etc. Haven't you seen them? I'm going to see if Hombre can add them to the CH Store.

In the middle of a nice session with a big-titted gal in AB, I asked her, "¿Que alta es tus chichis?"

When she did not reply, I asked again.

To my astonishment, she quickly stood up in the bed, and stretched her hands to the ceiling! She said, "¿Que alta es mis chichis? ¿Que alta es mis chichis?!"

What I meant to ask was, "How large (grande) are your tits?" Somehow, she got across that I was asking, "How tall are your tits?"

With all the excitement, I forgot to find out just how big they were.

Ben + Pie = Classic. Point in case "One Sick Bastard," dated 8/27/03.

Hombre: Ever done a cross-eyed chica? I thought she was looking out for the police! 7/15/01 Note* another Monger told me sometimes she counted her money while he banged her. Avisar RJ: When switching to perrito put a v. small gps tracking device on the tip of your condom. Only then will we be able to answer that burning question- "Whatever happened to...".8/23/03. TaxiBob:Mon. nite in AB there were two black couples hanging out in a booth and dancing like it`s a regular nightclub. They seemed to be having a big ole time. Later I saw them walking the alley laughing & looking over the sg selection. 4/25/01. Unknown: I convinced Big Monica to give me a BJ, so she proceeded to place tissue paper all around my dick as if she were about to sit on a badly tainted toilet seat. I asked: "What is this"? She replied, " mucho pelo".Aug. 2003. 694me:An interesting mature woman LuLu- greying, in her 40`s. She speaks English, is a lush, and is considered crazy. Gives good head and orgasims easily. 6/30/01. Long Nugent: The combo of 1 week`s Massive Sperm Buildup, 100 mg. of V, the view of Raquel`s big bouncing tits, & the sensation of the dick gliding thru those warm mounds was too much. An avalanche of my 'revenge' spouted out in 1 gigantic stream that splashed through the top of Raq`s rack & bounced off her chin. The rest flinged onto her hair, nose, eyes and ears. She SCREAMED in surprise, anger, & disgust! I wiped myself clean as she cursed out loud. I walked out laughing to myself knowing this Ice Queen lost to the art of the BBTF (Bareback Tit Fuck) & some extra conning. I hope this works for some of you seeking fun 'revenge'. 2/2/02.

Epimetheus` Labor Day Madness stands on it`s own level. All the ingredients are there to qualify as insanity. Hard to believe he could ever recover from that experience! I didn`t know whether to cry, laugh, or puke- so I did all three...simultaneously. Great effort Epimetheus, sorry you`ll never be able to enjoy another Labor Day holiday the rest of your life.