8/05/03 – 08/06/03. Tijuana, Baja California.

8 p.m. – 12 a.m.
Bored in L.A, I decided to treat myself. 3 hrs. later I’m wandering around my usual haunts in TJ. So as not to be so readily enticed at AB (like I have been before) I decided to bust one with a SG. I can’t remember her name, but I’ve been with her several times already. It’s her “real” name because that is the one she gave me before. She hangs out close to the Diamante Hotel, right around the corner from The Alley. 5’ maybe 95 lbs. and small perky boobs. $20 for her $4 for the room. “Sin Ropa / Desnuda” (that’s full nude for the culturally insensitive out there) and a BJ with her sitting between my legs for about 10 min., just the way I like it. Missionary sex for about 10 min. Very mechanical, as in no eye contact. Just the way I like it. – I just remembered her name, Alicia, actually I just looked it up in my fancy palm pilot.

6:00 a.m. – 7:30 a.m.
Having taken care of business I proceed to get drunk. Somehow It’s now 6 a.m. and the girls are leaving AB. I’m waiting for “Monica” to get off. She likes to get off. Really. My friend has been with her several times before (I was in the room). By me waiting around I have now been suckered by another girl who claims to be Monica’s friend. She wants to tag along and agrees to $50. I try to convince her that I am all sweaty and have already busted a nut, as well as very drunk. She says she will lick my nuts and let me put it in her ass. That being said, my resistance is low and I can’t say no to the ho. (maybe it’s my new rap song?) Well Monica is finally ready and we go to the hotel 2 or 3 doors down from AB. (it’s tough to remember, I’m drunk, remember?) It’s $21 for the night, actually for the morning. Check out time is 1pm. Damn, I’m starting to suffer a hangover and I’m still drunk! Ok, money first, of course, why don’t they trust me? Girl #2 sees that I give Monica $60 and immediately holds out her hand for $10 more. I’m weak and I cave in, since Monica is worth at least $60 more. Hey, but #2 at least claims that she will lick my nuts and you know, that butt thing. Monica is about 6’ tall in heals with the most amazing body. Thin waist and big fake boobs and the face of an angel. She sometimes wears hair extensions that make her look a little like Shakira (the Columbian singer for those of you who are culturally insensitive) She is just perfect and if you saw her in L.A. you would swear she is a model. She is an L.A. 9. Which is a: “rest of the country” 17. We proceed to have a glorious 3 way (which is a lot nicer than all the one ways that I usually have). Everything as promised! If you want all the details let me know. I think this revue is getting to long as it is. When all is said and done, they try to heist me for $5 more apiece for breakfast. To their credit, I had promised them breakfast before we went up to the room for a three way. Well, having busted a nut and my hangover getting worse, I did what any man would do. I told them to get lost and maybe if they were lucky I’d come and look for them tomorrow. Actually just Monica, #2 will be replaced if I have another three or four way. Variety is the spice of life but not when it comes to Monica. Then I slept.

12:45 p.m.
I woke up to banging, not the good kind. The hotel lady is telling me it’s time to check out. Not for a high roller such as my self. I walk out of the room, buy a big bottle of water and give here $21 more. Must, continue, beauty, sleep. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. FART. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

6:01 p.m.
Up and at em sleepy head. I wake up fully refreshed and ready to make the drive back to L.A. Wait a minute, there is a stirring in my pants. The anaconda (Little Elvis) must feed. Why must I be so weak? Why? One more cruise up and down The Alley makes me realize that I since I’m still here why not do one more? WWJD? Exactly. I also realize that by doing one more I can actually break my record of 2 girls in a 24 hr. period (weak, I know). At lease now I’m showered and this next one is sure to have a great time. These girls are lucky, not only do they get to do me, they get paid to do me. I would do me for free! Again, $20 plus only $3 (this time). I would proceed to describe it but it was basically the same at the first one above. YAAAAWN! Two ways now seem so boring and mundane to me now.

Paz, (that means Peace to you culturally insens…well you know the rest)

DirtySanchez

Dirtysanchez... I love it!