On my last trip, I took a pretty well-known AB chica back to the Pueblo Amigo for an (rest of the) all-nighter. The next morning, we went to Plaza Rio for breakfast at Sanbornes (sp?) and after breakfast she said she had to do some shopping. We were both browsing and I eventually met up with her by their pharmacy. She was talking to the clerk and the conversation was about condoms. She had explained to me alittle earlier that she purchases her own condoms instead of using the hotel's cheap brand. She was trying to figure out the best "deal" between 1, 3, or 9 packs. Finally after some negotiating, she looked the clerk straight in the eye and said "Todos" to all 25-30 packs of 9 condoms. The clerk literally did a double-take, then looked at me slyly whereas I just shrugged, and then just put them all in a bag for her.

On another trip, I went into CC during the day (frightening) but a semi-attractive chica walked over and I bought her a beer. We negotiated a few hours back at the Pueblo Amigo (my home-away-from-home!) and once we got into the room, she was a tigress. When it came time for actual intercourse, she stopped me and ran into the bathroom. She came out wearing a tiara (that she had in her bag) and said, "it was her fantasy to be a princess and to be fucked as a princess". She held the thing to her head through about 3 positions and me finishing.

Gawd, that's funny! Thanks for sharing that little "jewel", Aardvark. The image of her holding that tiara while getting fucked is priceless. That's a memory that will keep you smiling in your dotage, even if it isn't something you can tell your grandkids. Are we lucky SOBs or what?!?

Aardvark,

ROFLMAO!!

All I want to know is how you finished without laughing.

As to your other story. Perhaps you should offer to "Import" your chicas favorite condon in exchange for services.

Hmmmmm...... screw giving tours. I'm setting up an Import Company. "La Zona del Condones"


StrikeEagle

I thought I had posted this but I guess it did not take.

My amiga who works part time at one of the clubs has never been a big fan of the bbbj. The only time that it was a sure thing is when we are in the shower.

Anyway on my last trip she came over to spend the night. All of a sudden she asks me to finish in her mouth and on her face. Naturally I oblidge her, but I am kind of staring at her dumb founded.
Especially after she takes the cum from the edges of her mouth and the my tool and starts rubbing it into her cheeks.

She explains to me that she is taking an aerobics class five days a week for three hours a day ($40 per month), and the 32 year old instructor is telling the girls that cum is the best thing for them to drink and the best thing for their complexion. My amiga says she is the only puta in the class, the rest of the class is made up of mothers and professional women.

Afterwards she told me the instructor has five kids and we both laughed when I told her she must be doing more with the cum than drinking and massaging with it.

Bottom line there is an aerobics instructor in Tijuana that is making my life better.

God, I wish more of the zona chicas heard about those aerobics classes...and I don't mean for the BBBJs!

Actually, even at Sanbornes, the prices for condoms were unbelievable (maybe the result of her negotiating). I know I had the same brand brought up from room service one night and the price was huge on my bill.

I took some photos of this chica (not wearing the tiara) but to prove to my friends later...it's visable on the floor next to her as she's getting dressed.

test

Once i ran out of cash and had a cabbie drive me to the ATM...I withdrew $200 from my mastercard...I finally got back to ab...found a chica bought her a drink ..took her upstairs...the guy at the desk with the glasses asked me for $10...I gave him the mexican money from the ATM...he gave me back $10 change..i got pissed...to cut it short...i punched in 2 0 0 in the atm...like in the US...i didnt know it was only 20 bucks in pesos...so when the smoke cleared and the laughter stopped i walked back down stairs and my embarrased ass used my $20 to take a taxi to the border.

That's pretty funny..

I was surprised on night when my Wendy (retired ex-AB girl) asked me to cum on her face. Naturally I was pleased, but asked her why. She gave a similar story of cum being good for the complexion. I was happy to oblige her.

I few weeks later I asked her if she would like another treatment. She said, "No, I found out it should be cum from young men, then it is full of healthful hormones." Que Lastima!

That was funny, age discrimination at its worse.

I always pick up the little bars of soap and whatever else a hotel leaves in the room for me. At home last week I ran out of bar soap and dipped into the hotel supplies: Marriot, Clarion Suites, Holiday Inn, some old Motel 6 bars . . . all only lasted one day. Then, when I still forgot to buy soap . . . I found my last 2 bars from Hotel Coahuila.

I never noticed or thought about it, bu those bars are heavily scented with cheap fragrance. So I showered, noticed the scent and thought nothing of it, and went to work. Everyone of the several people who stood close to me that day reacted the same. They would come near for 2 seconds and then, with a neck twitch, look at me quickly with a puzzled look. And then we would go about normal business with out a word.

I bought a 12 pack of Ivory bath bars that night.

El Cabrio,

I NEVER use that 'Rosa' soap at Coahuila. It's a DEAD give away that you've been to the room, and EVERY chica figures that she's not your first girl of the night. As funny as this may seem, given that las chicas go up many times more than any of us do, this little issue MATTERS to las chicas.


StrikeEagle

Brothers,
I think you guys is CRAZY--I LOVE the smell of that Rosa Venus. Hell, I'd use it all the time here if I could find it--give me an all-day reminder of good times in the Hotel Coahuila!

Bro. SE, this might matter with favoritas, but I kinda doubt any of the girls are goin' to be sniffin' you to see if you got the 'scent' on you otherwise! These girls ain't stupid, and they know we're beasts--if we smell like soap, they at least know we've WASHED UP since the last naked adventure, which puts us a notch up on the client list in my experience! My guess is that most of 'em would be more concerned with that than whether or not we're their first of the night.

I like to buy my lotion at the Bed&Bath chain. Especially the vanilla scented one. The last place I apply it is a little dab around the groin area. Don't know if it makes any difference since no one has ever said anything.

Recently I took a new fave to the room and she was HOT. We had some excellent foreplay including full on frenching. Well, she hopped on top, lowered her face, and really started getting into the frenching to the point where my head was spinning. I was truly lost in her deep, skillful kisses. When she came up for air I thought I'd be romantic and compliment her wonderful lips with a sweet nothing in her ear. I whispered softly, "Tus lentes son tan dulces como la miel."

She turned suddenly and looked at me quizzically, as if to say, "Uh?" I paused, wondered what was up, and then we resumed kissing.

She probably thought I was some loco Americano. Lentes means "glasses" of course! So I had said, "Your glasses are as sweet as honey." Que romantico! I had meant to say labios, or lips in Spanish.

Celtics

Hey Celtics, since you like her glasses so much, maybe you should try to find a girl with a prosthesis. I bet that would really get you going. ;^)

This reminds me of when I took a famous chica out for lunch last year. When we were walking, she had no idea where she was going and she could not read any of the signs to pick out a place to eat. This was strange, because I had the impression that she was very articulate and well educated. I wasn't sure if she was on drugs or just stupid.

When we got inside she seemed to be back to herself. Then she called out to one of the other customers thinking he was our waiter.

I noticed she had the tell tale dents on the side of her nose and realized she was more nearsighted than myself. I asked her why she didn't wear her glasses. She said "Why should I wear glasses? If I'm not close enough to see, I don't make money".

Speaking of glasses........... I am blind as a bat. I also like to see what I am paying for which means I leave my glasses on as long as possible. Sometimes I only take them off when I go down on the chica. Other times I will remove them if we seem to be heading in a GFE direction and I may get some kissing.

It's kind of interesting to see the reaction of the women. American pros ALWAYS want my glasses off and real fast. I think the whole image just grosses them out as Superman never wore glasses but Clark did. Mexican pros go in all directions. Some obviously couldn't care less what I am doing or wearing. Others seem to like me to remove them.

I wear glasses normally but never in the Zona,I like to see what I'm getting,so I got contacs and wear them down there.I figure if I ever get into a fight or run into Ratero's I will be better off.

I'm embarrassed to 'fess up to this one, but it's too funny to keep to myself.

After doing a TLN with my amiga especial at the Hotel Coahuila and finishing things off with a morning quickie, I stumbled into the bathroom to take a leak. The bathroom fan was loud and the water level in the toilet was low, so I wasn't fazed by the absence of the sound of the urine stream hitting the water.
Upon finishing, I looked down... and realized I was still wearing a condom, which now contained an entire bladderful of urine.

I'm a non-drinker, so I can't use intoxication as an excuse.

I partially compensated for my utter stupidity by managing to free the thing from myself and dispose of it in the toilet, without getting a drop of liquid on myself or the floor. No small feat.

The condom held, without leaking a drop. Who says Mexican rubbers are cheap?

Farsider, here I thought you were going to say you ended up pissing half way up the wall, much like Jim Carey did in "Me, Myself and Irene".

Man, those first leaks after sex tend to fire off in all directions, so maybe wearing a condom isn't such a bad idea after all. LOL

Farsider - funny story!

Reminds me of a South Park episode. The boys were told during their sex ed. classes that condoms prevent AIDS. They all went out and bought rubbers to wear 100% of the time. Cartman thought it was a great time saver as he would reach down and throw a condom full of urine into the garbage can like a water balloon.

I do have more faith in the Mexican rubbers now.

I was chatting with a fellow monger in AB. We were seated at the first booth on the right as soon as you enter through the curtain. In mid-sentence, his false tooth suddenly fell out of his mouth and bounced downward. We both looked all over the floor but to no avail. The waiters were hysterical because they saw it all happen. For reasons that I'm unable to explain, I checked my feet. There was the tooth, hiding between the top of my foot (near my ankle) and the underside of the tip of the tongue of my sneaker.

Actually, that's the logical place to look for a false tooth: it's going to feel more comfortable near a tongue.

I apologize if this story was in poor taste, bud.

A Still laughing whenever I think about that episode kind of guy,

Out-of-Towner

It's been a couple of years since I flattened that cop at the corner of Avenida Ninos Heroes and Callejon Coahuila (The "Alley");

At about 8 AM one Sunday, I was standing on the NE corner near whatever bar it is, about a foot from the corner of the building, when I shifted my weight and stepped back about an inch.

I felt something clip my heel and looked around, and there was a cop flat on his face. He looked around at me, checked his gun, got up and continued pussy-footing ( right verb for the neighborhood, ehh ? ) towards a doorway. Two or three other cops were doing the same.

I was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and gloves, so he didn't get a good look at me other than my beard (I shaved the next day). I looked away and walked south on Avenida Ninos Heroes.

During that short first half-block, two or three squad cars sped towards that corner. I just kept on walking.

When I got out of sight I walked faster and didn't look back.

Gracias a Dios, it was my second-most scary adventure with the Tijuana cops !

This isn't funny per se, but unusual. While taking care of business with one of AB's best in Hotel Coahuila some extraneous sounds drifted in from down the hall. I didn't pay much attention at the time because I was concentrating on the matter at hand. You see, Bosco's bone was buried inside a bathycolpian beauty whose bodacious buns were bouncing against Bosco's belly. Bosco is now bereft of B-words. I'm not illiterate, I'm alliterative!! Allright, I'll put the thesaurus away and get to the point...

A woman was yelling something concerning, "CIEN PESOS!" She sounded perturbed. Several minutes later as I was exiting the hotel (my friend had left ahead of me, I relaxed alone for a bit before dressing) the chick was in the hallway yacking with the clean-up guys and still going on about the CIEN PESOS. As I got to the stairs I saw what appeared to be a security dude (generic dark green jacket) escorting a local teenager down the stairs.

The kid was cooperative, but the security guy (who appeared only 2-3 years older than the kid) had him by the arm. Then I noticed a flash of silver and realized the kid was handcuffed. The security guy was trying to keep it low-key and had wrapped a sweater around the kid's wrists so it wouldn't be obvious on the street that he was cuffed.

I followed them out the door onto the sidewalk. The chick came from behind us to yell at the kid some more as he and the escort headed east past the AB door. I ducked into AB, and still wonder what went down. My hypothesis is this...

Cien pesos/$11 dollars is the short-time room fee at the hotel. I figure the kid assumed that whatever fee was negotiated in the bar included the hotel fee. When it was time to pay the chica he was short by cien pesos because he had already spent it at the front desk. Apparently he didn't have any more money and she started screaming about her missing "CIEN PESOS!". Those were the shouts I heard in the room. By the time I was leaving she had rousted the room cleaners and security to deal with the kid.

My question is, where was the security guy taking him? To the police 'station' across from the alley? Is short-changing a puta an arrestable offense? Were they just trying to scare him a bit? I would think it was her mistake not to nail down the details of the deal in the bar. Language was not an issue, and she should assume such a young guy may not be up to speed on the AB routine. Any other theories??...Bosco

Bosco: I think that he'll probably get chopped up and served as taco meat at one of the taco stands. (Either that, or they'll take him to the nearest ATM).