This is the first time I've had an incentive to write a trip report, and even though it's kinda embarassing, I hope that this will serve as a reminder to you vets and a warning to newbies. (I'm putting this on other boards also).
Got to the zona on Xmas eve around 7:pm. My fav didn't show up where we had agreed to meet (I found out later that she was home with a sick kid). I had planned to get a really nice room, but since I wasn't with her I got a room at Cascadas.
Came down, and just kinda wandered around, and in and out of bars having a few drinks. It was really dead around the zona, and a couple of smaller bars I like closed by 9:00 so I was just wandering around and started talking to a chica who was walking south on Nino Heroes and crossing the alley. She agreed to come to my room with me for $20. (should have been my 1st clue), so we went up, and as soon as we were in there she started getting undressed, but only took off her pants, and pulled her top up to around her neck. She started to give me a massage, and take off my clothes at the same time (another clue). She did start giving me a great BBBJ, and even though I'd been drinking, and instinct took hold, and I started to wonder if I might be with a CWD (chick with a dick) so I kept asking to see her panocha, and she kept pulling away. Then she told me she was having her period, and decided to show me, blood and all. Well, after all that, and my "suspicious antenna" on full alert, she said she really wanted to fuck me (BIG FUCKING CLUE!), and she was going to a pharmacy to get a female condom, and started putting on her pants. Now I might be crazy, but I'm not stupid, and I told her to wait while I reached over to grab my pants to make sure all was there. When I reached for my pants, she was out the door. By the time I got my pants on, she was nowhere to be found. When I got my pants, I discovered that she had taken my wallet. I ran down to get my car, and started driving all around looking for her, but of course, no luck.
Now here's the good part of the night. While driving back, I saw Monica (little spinner, AB) who was walking home, and she agreed to come up to my room for $30. and of course, kept reminding me that she gets $50 to $60 when working. True to her word, it was a great GFE. Remember, I never popped with the first one. After she left, I took a shower and went back down to the street.
While wandering around, I saw Trini the street guy, and told him about the rip-off. That's when I was shocked. This guy who does nothing but wander around trying to get money from gringos reached way inside his jacket, and pulled out a 100 peso bill, and offered to loan it to me until I came back. I didn't take it because I had other money besides what was in the wallet, but I was grateful.
Now it's 4 a.m. and I've been in and out of a couple of dead bars, and I walk up and down the alley, and count only 5 chicas on the street. I decide to call it a night, and go to my room, but then I run into a chica I'd had in the past, and agree to take her to my room for only a BBBJ. Well, I get my second nut for the night, and she wants to stay and cuddle because it's so cold out. I told her I couldn't sleep unless I was alone, so she left, and I got to sleep around 6.
Xmas morning, around noon, I check out of Cascadas, and head for breakfast at VIP's on Sanchez Taboada, and then drive back to the zona, and park in front of Playboy Club, and stick my head in to see if anyone is there. Nothing, so I left, and suddenly a CWD (chick with a dick) came up to me, and automatically I put my hands in my pockets to hang on to what I had while he/she was trying to grab me, and get me to a room. After I told it to leave me alone, she/he took off, and I headed for my car. I reached into my shirt pocket for my cell phone, and it wasn't there. I thought I left it in the car, but when I checked I realized that the CWD had taken it. Here I go, driving around the streets again looking for a thief, and again I see Trini, and tell him what happened. He gets in and we start driving around when suddenly I see the CWD on 1st st. I point it out, and Trini jumps out to talk to her/him, and quickly comes back to the car with my phone. (another of my fuck ups). I give him a $10 propina, and decide to get the fuck out of Dodge while I'm still alive.
I drive down the alley, make a left on Ninos Heroes, and a right on 1st st. Then a right past Noa Noa so I can come back up Coahila and get to the border. As soon as I pass Noa Noa, I see the police lights behind me, and pull over. When I asked why I had been pulled over, he said because I had been drinking. Well, I hadn't had a drink all day, and told him so, and we argued back, and forth for a while, and he said to blow in his face. Finally he agreed that I hadn't been drinking, so he said he was getting me because I didn't signal before making that last turn. That's when he asked for my license which of course I didn't have because my wallet had been stolen. When I told him this, he had big dollar $ign$ in his eyes, and pulled out his book of regulations, showing me that he could take my car until a court straightened things out, so after haggling for a while, he finally agreed that I could pay a "fine" of $100. and they would let me go.
This has been a Xmas to remember, but I'm releaved that I'm finally leaving, and make it to the short line at the border. I get across the border, and before I get to the first off-ramp my car breaks down.
I don't know what I'll do next Xmas, but I WON'T BE IN T.J.
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As soon as I cross the border I must start looking like Antonio Banderas. The chicas all want me.

Phil,

Sorry to hear about the mess down in TJ. I've been once a few years ago and never felt the need to return. Street girls are more often trouble than not and the cops....not to mention most of the girls are butt ugly.

The difference between you and Antonio B. is that he brings a sawed off shotgun with him

TJ. has been going down hill for the past few years. I can be in TJ. in about 45 min. But I don't even bother to go down there any more as the quality of the providers is sorely lacking.

You are better off saving you cash and taking a vacation, or making a 3 day trip up to Canada.

I agree with Roadglide. I live nearby and have very little interest in going to TJ anymore. In fact, I've only been once this year. Conversly, I'm leaving next week on my second trip to Rio this year. Of course, Buenos Aires will get a return visit too. The "bang for your buck" is so far superior in those cities. TJ is just a sad memory for me now.

Sterling

what a terrible experience in TJ... I guess the xmas season always means trouble, as most of the top tier ladies are gone.. How come you were running into so many CWDS?? Next time, just stick to the sgs on zona roja, and DONT BRING YOUR WALLET.. I always just bring cash and keep it in my socks, as well as an id and one credit card, in my socks as well, .. i never had anyone steal anything from me..

It's almost funny. I actually know better, but since I haven't had any problems in years, I let my guard down. I know TJ and the Zona well, but since my novia was in Culiacan for Xmas, I was wandering around the Zona like an idiot.

You know every once in a while a trip just goes bad. It comes with the territory. I've never been pickpocketed but I've had the policia fuck up a few trips. Fortionately the pain fades quickly.

I'm glad I never have even thought to drive into TJ. I know a lot of you guys do but I think the hassle factor increases exponentially at that point.