So Long, and Thanks For the Soap

The final trip to the zona, one more and final bite from that banquet, one which even though satiated, I'm going to have, because it's a long time to be hungry before the next time I'll have an opportunity to indulge. I walk down Revolution, trying not to think about the fact that it's probably the last time for quite awhile. I hope to hook up with Candi, knowing that another session with her will complete perfect bookends to my zona vacation. She has provided so many memorable times, and knowing her schedule, I have tried to time my arrival with her start time. But I'm to be disappointed in this, I never do get to see her, and I'm not sure if she shows up at all, or if some very lucky guy snatched her up for an extended session before I got there.

Walking around, I see none of the chicas that I've gotten to know at all, time is getting short, I want a relaxed session and I'm going to rent a room for the day, even though I'll be leaving before late afternoon. I circle the room again when I'm approached by a short, very attractive early thirties chica. She looks very familiar, and when she introduces herself I realize we have met before, she was one of the chicas I had met last summer. I had seriously considered her not only because she was so attractive and has excellent English skills, but because she bears (for me anyway) a striking resemblance to Linda Ronstadt, and having her is one fantasy I wouldn't mind crossing off my list.

Monada (Ed. Note - This is not her real name, but "Monada" has made it very clear that she does not want even her working name used in connection with the internet. In fact her disdain for the internet in connection with our hobby is legendary.), has just returned from vacation and this is her first day, and assures me that I will be her first customer in several weeks. I squire her to an empty booth, for I have heard that it's almost as much fun talking to her as having a session. Unfortunately Monada and I never really click, my attempt at humor and familiarity consistently being misread and misinterpreted, proving that sometimes a lack of a common language is an advantage.

But I'm determined to take advantage of the opportunity to cross my Linda Ronstadt fantasy from my "to do" list and bull through, negotiating a full hour, ignoring the slightly ominous remark from Monada of "Oh, you think you can last a full hour eh?"

Upstairs, I get room 106. A good omen I think, this is the_senators ex-room (he had checked out earlier yesterday), and maybe it will bring me some luck.

Once in the room Monada turns all business, no opened mouthed kissing, and much to my consternation, refuses a massage. ("I'll give you one if you want, but I don't want one from you". "But why not?" I ask. "Because I don't that's why" she explains.) The session goes down hill rapidly from there, as I discover that although Monada doesn't mind being fondled, daty is out. This is turning into a rather unpleasant expereince.

Monda gets out a tube of antiseptic cream and wipes down my member, then lubes it with some baby oil. She does give a rather impressive simulated BBBJ, but knowing it's simulated kinda ruins it. My displeasure (or lack of pleasure may be more accurate) is clearly showing and Monada is somewhat insulted. When I find out that doggie is out ("I have a bad back" Yeah well you're the one who doesn't want a massage I think to myself), I'm openly disgusted and Monada gets very defensive, apologizing saying that I should have clearly stated what I wanted downstairs. Pointed well taken, I can't argue with that. She would have told me exactly what she was willing to provide (not much apparently after a simulated BBBJ).

But Monada then surprises me, at her core she has an iron will to be professional in her own eyes and provide a satisfying service. Part and parcel of the service is that nobody walks away without a smile and making a deposit, nobody. I am commanded to orgasm. I am not leaving the room until I orgasm. If I miss my flight, if I spend the rest of my life in that room with her, I will orgasm. We do cowgirl, rigorously, we do missionary quite pleasurably for Monada beautiful to look at, and she stares into your eyes, making all the right sound effects. When you kiss her face and neck in this position she sighs into your ear and tells you how good you are. Like I say, all the right moves.

But her frustration mounts at my lack of orgasm, my excuse of being in the zona for 4 days is rejected, I feel like a kid who has just told a very stern teacher that the dog ate my homework. Bizarrely, she now, in hopes of getting me to complete, allows daty, so long as she chooses the position. No standard position of her on her back, no she must keel on the bed, one hand against the wall, with me under her with her other hand on my dick, jacking me off. Twisted around like this, it's obvious that Monada doesn't suffer from any back pain but from a deep-seated urge never to relinquish any control. SH resists enjoying my tongue, more strongly as she approaches an orgasm herself, but I grip her about the waist, and won't let her move off of my face. She does orgasm, then scolds me, saying that she hates to orgasm when working, because all she wants to do is sleep afterwards. To change the subject, and to finish up, I promise to organism if she will ride me cowgirl again. Within a couple of minutes of watching her bounce up and down I fake an orgasm. Her eyes narrow as she removes the condom, (my god, she's actually checking the condom for ejaculate) but I head her off by saying that after 4 days I'm out of leche (true enough). She grudgingly accepts this explanation.

There's soap in the shower, a first all weekend for the Hotel Coahuilla. Think at first that Monada had opened it when showering before me, upon closer examination I see that it's a bar of Dial Antibacterial, not the standard fare handed out by the front desk. I chuckle as I grab it, a leftover from the_senator, so nice of him to think of me and share his soap, it's going to be 18 hours and 3000 miles before I'll have another chance to use a shower, so I make the most of it.

Closing out my dealings with Monada, while dressing I'm treated to a lecture on economics, and how she can buy and sell most of her clients (this girl has some real issues) and on how her bank account is just bulging with dollars from gringos who are poorer than she. By the time I'm done dressing I'm just happy to escape her. In the end Monada presents something of a sad figure, one which given different circumstances would be busting balls in a corporate boardroom rather than in a Tijuana brothel.

I wrap up my Tijuana stay by collecting a few gifts, picking up my luggage at the VdeZ and grabbing a cab for the border. Being much less reflective this time than last, I'm much more inclined to keep score than to angst over deeper meanings. The final tally over the course of the two weekends, 7 full or partial days, is 16 sessions, with 12 different partners, 10 of which were new to me on this trip. I found almost all of the sessions deeply satisfying and a couple leaving me shaken by their intensity. But the gods of mongering have been watching over me, because unlike last time, great sessions were always followed by fate intervening with circumstances that precluded any deeper relationship developing. Thereby leaving no doubt that our time together, no matter how enjoyable, was just that and nothing more, some enjoyable time together.

So to wrap up this very long report on my third and fourth visits to Tijuana, my journey has to be considered a success. Doesn't It? And I suppose this is what one should want and expect from one of these trips. That a good time is the object and that no deeper meaning is sought.

So why do I still wish I had seen Lirica's face standing there when I first entered Adelitas that Thursday afternoon?

Bravo! Bravo!

I read the whole thing in one sitting, Ben, hanging on your words. Well done! I read your last noveletta, and I think this one is even better.

I'd say you had some pretty awesome luck this time. I've had two or three sessions (out of dozens in Nogales) as good as your average one, so I think you're doing okay.

I know how you feel in that no matter how good a session is, there's got to be something better out there. I also appreciate the waiting you have to do between visits. I get to visit Nogales more often than you visit TJ, but I still rarely find that awesome session, so I'm almost always left wanting and waiting - 'till next time...

I'm glad that you were able to leave your trip, apparently, with little emotional turmoil. It's a long and sometimes painful path us mongers take, but once in a while it pays off.

Well done,

MrBill

So long and thanks for all the fichas.

Dogster count is up to 5, as Monada is clearly a made up name. Nice girl, but Modada does not get Dogster's FDA approval. Digestible...

Excellent report, Bill !!!!

Excellent report again Bill!

I second MrBill's sentiments. An outstanding read and the vivid imagery puts me right there. You can't stop reading this and once you finally get through it you wish it wasn't just 10 chapters long.

Thank you for posting this (especially on a rare off night of NBA playoffs - although I would have TIVO'ed a Game 7 once I got into this).

You remind me of George Lucas - I can't wait for your next production.

As always, an excellent report. I laughed, I cried. Truly touching. And refreshingly angst free!

Now, when are you going to kick off the training wheels and go somewhere else? ;)

Probably Tuesday for dinner next week. I'll call you Monday.

Awesome report. The good and bad, the expected and unexpected, the hard edged and sometimes soft gems. Thanks for sharing. Hope we can meet for a beer or three sometime.

Very enjoyable report, Bill. We both seem to experience TJ with a similar mindset; that's why your reports are such an easy read for me. I'm always right there in your shoes, especially because I took most of the same steps early in my career. Will you "evolve" like I have and come to realize how emotionally dangerous TJ can be if you're not careful? Only time will tell.

There's a paragraph in a different section concerning how you want to be viewed by the chicas which fits me to a "T" (I'll have to find it again and specifically comment on it) and it's the exact reason why we both seek to give pleasure to the chicas almost as much as we seek to receive pleasure from them. Some hombres consider this a character flaw; I consider it a character virtue which I carry with me in everyday life, not just in TJ.

I chuckled while reading your vivid description of "Monada" (pronounced Moan Nada, Spanish for "no moan" from her, at least in the sexual sense as opposed to if the hombre has difficulty coming). I happen to know her real "moniker" (no pun intended). She's a real piece of work, and seemingly with pent-up anger toward men, for whatever reason (I can see it in her glaring eyes). She always gives me the impression that she's a volcano waiting to explode if you happen to say something wrong or look at her incorrectly. She hit me in the face with her gum wrapper once, quite the accurate projectile from a couple yards away. I've never been with her, but I do seem to remember that some hombres have had a good time with her.

I see that we both enjoyed and yet still ended our TJ trips in similar fashion: looking back again at a chica from a previous trip (Dulce-CC for me; Lirica for you) and wishing that we had been given an opportunity by the TJ mongering gods to have another session with her. Whether our "misfortune" is fortunate or not can be eternally debated.

A Similar kind of guy,

Out-of-Towner

Wait! WAIT! I'll pay BIG MONEY for a picture of Monada. I'm only going to ask you this 37 times in separate e-mails. And I have her best interests at heart, of course.

"Monada" is a girl that needs to be handled with kid gloves. I went up with her once last time I was in TJ. I enjoyed the pre-session conversation very much, and the session itself was fine. My MO is a little different from most... I tend to play a somewhat passive role, allowing the chicas to "show me what they got". As a result, she had total control of the session, and it was definitely a good one. And as Bill noted above, this girl needs to be in control, and flips out when she isn't.

It was AFTER the session that I ran into problems with her. She felt that I took too long to finish, got real fixated with that and kept bugging me about it for the duration of my visit. In addition, I kept turning down her offers for a repeat session and she didn't like that at all. By the time I left TJ, she was pissed at me.

I also used a pseudonym (also beginning with M) for her in my last trip report.

Ootie,

Thanks for the kind words.

The song lyrics you quote in another section are quite poignant and does give me pause.

My final day with Monada was something of a let-down. in hindsight (always 20/20) I would have been much better off waiting a bit longer for Candie, because even if I had not located her, Vivanna showed on the scene shortly anyway (another girl that I have had several near misses with).

And yes, I did end my trip spinning endless "what if" scenarios, mostly involving "Lirica" and ruefully concluded that I would not know good fortune of it snuck up behind me a bit me in the ass.

Human nature I guess.

Or at least my nature.

Another epic classic, Bill. How are negotiations for the movie rights going?

Kendricks,

The negotiations are going poorly, it seems the studio wanted at least one more supporting character, one with a slightly sarcastic, irreverent, cynical viewpoint on life.

And you couldn't come down.

Bill, give me a break - you waited til I was halfway across the country to come out here! I'm sure you could still work me into the script with a little artistic license...

I did appreciate my bite part and in fact you might say I was blown away.

Nice report as usually and I look forward to your next visit to socal.

Ben, that Isis chica bit your part while you were getting blown away?

Kendricks, use "artistic license"? Ha. What and have Sr.P all over me for inaccuracies? He already thinks I'm Stephen Ambrose.

Ambrose is dieing to meet you

Bill?

"Monada" has made it very clear that she does not want even her working name used in connection with the internet. In fact her disdain for the internet in connection with our hobby is legendary.)"

The fact that she brought up the subject should have put the breaks on your visit. If you brought up the subject, then you pissed in your soup.

Shadow,

We never brought up the internet. What I meant, without being too specific, is that "Monada" has been a topic of discussion between many of us board members both publicly, on the board, and privately, between ourselves.

Quite frankly, her reputation is such that I would never risk even admitting owning a computer, let alone knowing anything about the internet. Unlike Angela who has a pretty realistic grip on the subject, "Monada" is pretty close to being rabid on the topic. Fortunately for me, the subject never came up.

The passage you quoted was meant to explain to the reader that "Monada" was a pseudonym, and why I felt the need to use it.

Wow, where to begin about an AWESOME report about my favorite place on Earth. Yeah, maybe I'm a rube, but a HAPPY ONE, so, well, you know...

Nice to see a decent report on Angela. Of all the guys I know in TJ, I don't ever recall a SINGLE first person report on her, just 'she's always really nice when I tell her 'uh, NO'.' And to be honest, that damned wig is probably the biggest reason I have always found it so easy to turn her down. Gloria used to like to wear wigs from time to time, too, and I used to INSIST before going upstairs that she take the frickin' thing off.

Loved your AB focused reporting, it really is the class of the Mexican hooker bars, and a first class operation all the way. I think you would really enjoy some of the other Zona bars as well, like CC at prime time and Tropical and Miami, etc. I know though, that when you think you have limited time you tend to go with the known sure thing. Also, getting a room at one place tends to funnel your efforts in that direction.

It was interesting to note your tendency to negotiate the longer session. I used to do this when I was doing lots of AB girls as well, and the lure of, say, $80 can get you lots of special attention even if it is technically less than they'd normally get for two sessions. And having your own room can extend things if the chica gets sleepy.

This changed a bit when I started frequenting other bars besides AB and CC, though, where I found that many times having your own room can get you a lot of time for the standard fee, especially if you have no desire to go twice, though that sometimes happens too. But there is much to be said for the Adelitas, short, sweet, direct approach, and if you have limited time to spend in the Zona it's certainly a place to establish as homebase.

Thanks for the detailed write-up Guillermo. It made my day. Well, SEVERAL days, actually!

Thanks for the good word Porker. Glad you enjoyed my report, and hearing it from a vet such as yourself makes my day also.

Your comments about other bars are well taken. Although my main focus was and will probably remain to be AB (at least for the next trip), I am just starting to explore the possibilities of other bars. My little dip into the Unicornio and The Mexico Lindo has at least made me aware that there is "life" after AB. The problem is that AB makes it so damn easy, so many chicas so readily available. I do like the idea of getting them out of the zona and it's 20 minute mentality, and that's much easier when the bar itself is physically outside of the zona itself.

All this will have to wait until September though, I won't have an opportunity to return before then.

My next trip however will be something completely new, and that's a jouney to Colombia. So I'll at last have something to compare TJ to, and will take another step in rounding out my "education".

Ahhhh, so it's Colombia next. Most reports we've had from there seem to be from guys with some kind inside track, so I'll especially look forward to reading about how someone of your sensibility handles Colombia's less beaten paths.

With humor and wonder I'm sure...

Actually, we'll be lucky if we ever hear from him again after this trip!

I too am looking forward to how he handles Colombia!

Or maybe how the Colombian chicas handle billfromreading.. hehe..
when you mix romantic billfromreading with those romantic colombian chicas, I just hate to think what is going to happen.. I just wish I could be there to watch..
I am going back in september, when is bill going to learn what a ROMANTIC city is all about ???

Treeshark,

Oh ye of little faith. I am not a car wreck waiting to happen. Well, maybe a fender bender.

The adventure starts 6/27 and lasts 10 days. More than enough time to get into (and hopefully out of) trouble.

I'm sure you guys have been exaggerating and I'll spend most of my time sightseeing, trinket buying and maybe taking some Spanish emersion courses. With all the other guys going there probably won't be any chicas left for ol' bill anyway.

I would have said shipwreck, but I admit to a profound lack of the iliteration that oozes from your keyboard...

I'M SURE that ol' Bill (ol' doesn't begin to cover it!) will come back IN LOVE with at least TWO Colombianas!

Maybe I should start a betting line? What day will Bill have chosen the girl for the rest of the trip?

I say day 3! And that's only because I'm going to force him to wait!

Bill,

I almost for to say: You're welcome for the soap!

The Senator

i've had my rounds with the queen of bare back chin job. went with her one time a couple of years back and she has been completly retarded ever since. she met my babies mother and went off on her and tried to get her to move to tj and be a puta. then she lectured me on how mexicans own and americans owe. i've had many puta friends tell me this chica is mental, and i cannot argue. she is rather high volume---and if i happen to mention it is quiet in the bar--she pulls out her money to show me how much she made---absoulutely a certified nut case with papers.

BonVvnt,

Day 3 heh? Does Thursday, the 27th count as Day 1 if I get in before midnight? LOL

You do realize of course that you could sandbag the whole contest by having "black jeans" meet at the airport?

Wait, of course you realize that, very sneaky, very sneaky.

Senator, the next beer, err, bar is on me.

Sampson, it's not that I think "Monada" is a nut case, I think it's more like Ootie says she has a deep-seated hatred. Maybe not necessarily directed at men in general, but certainly directed at the segment that uses her services.

And if you think about, it it's easy to be an armchair Freudian and diagnose why.

I think she has a loathing for what she does and what she presumes this says about her. One way of dealing with this is to project that loathing onto others, namely her customers. And one way is to feel that they are deservedly the objects of her scorn is by keeping monetary score. Since she feels that by this measure she is ahead of the game, it lessens the pounding her ego must be taking every time her luscious little tush takes one. This would also explain her "control" issues also.

It amazing what the human mind can do to rationalize behavior we "know" is not "right" or in our best interests. Of course we here would know nothing about that. LOL

Ok, I'll put away my copy of "Psychology for Dummies" now.

If she's got that bad an attitude why bother with her? No matter what her reason for this 'hatred' if sounds like something to be avoided!

Bill, your entire life is going to change. I'm considering a second pool (SLIGHTLY longer odds) to see if you come back!

And yes, the 27th does count because you'll fall in love twice in the airport in Bogota!

I say Day 2.

How do I know? Because if I went there, it would probably be Day 1.

just walked out of ab for some fresh air, but not after a long talk with "monada". she of course had to show me how much money she has already made, and then began grilling me about all my ex novias and such. then i got a lecture about money management and padrotes. i feel very educated now.