I spent the day with # 2 at the Rosarito Beach Hotel this was about two weeks ago. We had been waiting for the weather to heat up a bit cause I wanted to lay out by the pool and go swimming ....something different than our normal routine after a long winter of lunch or dinner, movies or shopping than Hotel.
She wore this outfit I bought her recently, white and navy blue pant suit with matching pumps...very nice, perfect for spring....she looked ready for a ship cruise. I wore something equally nice, we looked like the Howells from Gilligans Island walking down the street shopping in Rosarito. LOVEIEEE,ISN'T this just faaabulous......

We ate in this restaurant off main street, it has an aviary inside along with live trees. I can't remember the name although Potatohead and I ate there last year with a couple of different chica's. It's a few blocks before the Hotel on the right as you come into town.

We were drinking, just a beer, she insisted on me sitting on her side of the table. Two of us at a table for 6 just so she can feed me.
She cuts my steak up like she does for her kids and holds her left hand under my chin as she puts the fork up to my mouth. I try not to laugh but the waiters are looking at us and smirking at me as if to say " you are making an ass out of yourself amigo......I'd like to smack your silly gringo face......

We started talking about the week before, I had taken her and her kids to the movies then I bought one of them a toy. We were trying to figure out the Spanish word for toy and she finally understood me and said "Juguete". Between bites I said " you are MY juguete ". She said " estoy su cojer juguete?" {I am your fuck toy?} "SI!" I said. She started smacking me playfully and saying what she always says in her limited broken English when we play fight " YOU STUPID "!!

When we talk in public, it's gotta be a joke, it's part my bad Spanish, her non English, part pantomime, some note writing and a lot of hand waving. Probably a grand source of amusement for people thinking were on a first date and wondering..... how the hell did these two ever hook up? But we are going on two years and get along well in spite of the language difficulty.

We check in and head to the pool, if you call in advance you can get a room for 55.00 Sun-thru Fri. right now. So were out pool side and she starts putting lotion on my back, then she puts it on my chest and arms. Well, I can do that, but I'm not stopping her, she lotions my legs and feet as well.

Jesus, this is embarrassing. There are all these people around, mostly gringos. When I tell Potatohead later, he says " Don't you feel like a JERK?"
"Ahhhh, NO, I don't" I say defensively. "YOU are muy celoso,my folically challenged little friend, if she wants to spoil me I'm not going to fight it." I do tons for her, sometimes I spoil the shit out of her. I had gone to a specialty store the day before and spent 100.00 bucks for a swimsuit for her. In fact I called her from the store to make sure I had the size and color right. Estoy buen hombre.

She got in one of the jacuzzi's, it was cold, then she insisted I get in, but I was already cold.
Finally I got in so we could play but I didn't last long. I got out and read a magazine while she tried me to get back in. Finally, after I ignored her long enough I got hit in the side of the head by what I thought was a wet towel. Turned out it was her top.

Some dude up on a terrace was laughing his ass off when I took it and walked off while she screamed at me " damelo!!! " { give it to me!!}. Crazy bitch. We were down at the remote pool when she did this, nobody around except the guy on the terrace.

We had drinks, laid out and messed around in the pool, went swimming, then finally went back to the room to do the dirty deed. No condom, no lube, no nada, just a lot of filthy talk and dirty sex.....mother would be so proud .

Me on top, her on top,her doggie, her with her heels on, her with her legs pinned back to her ears, her sitting on my face, my silly, stupid face, me with my head buried between her legs....

Then like I always do, just like at home, I ROLL over and go to sleep. She hates this, she wants to talk, I don't want to talk, I wanna sleep! SHE SAYS " YOU NO SLEEP!".HA! WATCH ME! LOL. Zzzzzzzzzz. So I put my head on her tummy FACING TOWARD THE T.V. so she can't see if I'm asleep, also, she can scratch my back.... until I nod off.

I LOVE having my back done, real lightly, with long nails....UMMMM she does it without me asking.....unlike wifey, who I HAVE TO NOW BEG JUST FOR 5 MINUTES. AND she doesn't stop....then I fall into a state of total bliss till it's time to leave.

{Sometimes, recently, I sense she may be slightly frustrated with me, it's apparent I not leaving wifey and this girl wants a husband. But she is in no hurry and were good to and for each other so it works. The key is to keep things fresh between us and progress the relationship, otherwise it dies. Potatohead always says, " Hey, where are you going with this"? I always say, "who gives a fuck, you think I plan this shit, it happened and I'm riding this horsey till it's frothing ". He is afraid I'll leave wifey, she is so nice, he feels sorry for her.} Don't worry, wifey is fine,this is not a zero-sum game, everyone wins. In fact wifey and my Dick are the two happiest people I know.}

We take turns coming up with new things to do, she can get creative as well. She showed up with a bag of cosmetics a while back and gave me a facial in the hotel room one day. That was weird, she gave me a lecture on how to take better care of my skin. I barely understood a thing she said, but after that effort I pretended I understood everything.

Last year, we went to Dorians and she got a make over while I watched. THAT was expensive. I mentioned I took wifey out over the weekend for manicure and the works. She used that as an opportunity to say, hey , what about me? I said " remember, we did it last year"? Then in Spanish, she says" yeah, that was last YEAR"!! The fun never stops. I just took out my wallet and shook it upside down. She is convinced I'm rich and it is hard to reverse her thinking, especially since I love nice things myself. Lately, I have been reminding her I have another kid going to college in the fall. That stalls her big time.


Finally, I drop her back home, cause she has to relieve the sitter and I have an Appointment in the zona. A couple of Potatoheads friends want to meet me minus Potatohead.

Potatohead is on Hiatus from the zona cause he has a bad case of "free gringa pussy". "No need to go now, I got all I can handle, free", he seems to love to remind me. WRONG! Someone still pays for those dates. Hey, I get it "free" at home to, all I have to do is pay all the bills. Most expensive piece of ass I ever hooked up. But I digress.

Turns out Potatoheads friends, one of them a first timer,wants to partake of the goodies behind the red curtains at AB and they want the services of yours truly to maybe introduce them around and explain some ground rules for getting around the chica's.Thats my theory anyway. Honestly, they don't need me at all, this one friend of Potatohead had been down a half a dozen times recently, he knows what to do. I guess it's a compliment that he calls me, I'm happy for the company, cause it's mostly me alone when I'm not with # 2. I love bringing new people down once in a while, just to see the reaction.

Well, we got lucky, it was early around 7:00 and the talent level was outstanding, I knew so many of the girls all I needed was a purple hat with a feather in it. " She's a good fuck, she sucks, this one doesn't kiss, SHE'S a great fuck....I banged that one every day for a week a year ago,this one has a lumpy ass, this one hates me, I took this one on vacation last year...etc etc... big man on campus.

{ This is no brag, just what happens when I walk into this place, by myself or with friends. Maybe it happens to other guys as well, I don't know.

We walk in, and sit down, and within minutes there is this processional of chica's, one by one, they come and greet me, and I greet them, giving each a paternal hug and a light kiss on the cheek like they do each other. I feel like a head of state, it makes my head swim. They all smile and chat briefly letting me know without saying it that they are available when I'm ready. They want me to take them up of course, but they also know I probably won't today, but they aren't upset, cause they know I'll be back tomorrow or the next day, so instead of bum rushing me, they allow me my space and time to choose. Many times I walk the bar and it takes me ten minutes just to say hello to everyone before I can sit down.

It's not fake, they are being smart about their business. We all understand the game, so there is no reason we can't be pleasant to each other while I'm searching for the perfect piece of ass and they are trying to separate me from my money. I love capitalism and a free market, don't you?

Not long ago Alejandra was watching this whole scene unfold, and she finally came over with her hands on her hips and said in that demeanor only she has, " HEY ! WHY YOU NO TAKE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS UPSTAIRS ?" Well, I replied, " I just got here, I'M SHOPPING, GIVE ME A MINUTE, they are all my friends! To which she replied in her booming voice " OF COURSE THEY ALL YOUR FRIENDS....YOU FOCK EVERYONE IN THE BAR!! " NO I DON'T " I said calmly ! Then she comes back with, " OK,OK, YOU FOCK HALF !!" There is only one Alejandra. }

We sit there slack jawed and watched as Smith and Perlita danced wildly on the back dance floor with each other.....just going insane,I thought they were high. If there is a chica with better moves on the floor than Perlita I'd like to know who she is. JESUS CHRIST, can she dance, so fukin provocative...what an ass on that girl. So many good looking chica's, but I had only one bullet left after an afternoon with # 2 and wanted to spend it wisely.

I was envious of our newbie friend, I would never feel like he did that night again. The sex with # 2 is so good now that even doing Tania and Gloria on the same day like I had a couple of weeks ago wasn't as good as it would have been a couple of years ago. So sad when things change sometimes.

So watching Perla and Smith only presented a problem for me, which one to do? Then I spotted Tania in a booth, shit, well, I've done her enough, she can wait...till next week. On my right I see Marissa, that black chica, with the huge tits and the low cut dresses, I haven't seen her in over a year, I thought she got married. Then I see Jessica the dancer{ rabbit}. Huge jugs Maria is there, Erica de Cancun, great legs, really cute nice smile as well. Crazy ass Cecilla is there wearing her outrageous outfit as usual. Hot pants with her ass hangin out and almost nothing on top. Diane de Mexico City, she looks like a young Leslie Ann Warren. Then we spot this chica Veronica, she looks like Sophia Loren. We invite her for a drink, but she gives off this attitude and even though she is a knockout we have to say goodbye, no mi gusta.

Candi was there of course, she has to be a millionaire by now. Kenya danced.

There is this one tart bitch, I had a drink with her a month ago or so, Patricia, long black hair fabulous legs, really sophisticated looking, looks like Selma Hayek to me. So I didn't go up with her that night, was very polite to her like always, just excused myself, gave her a hug. The next time I saw her I tried to talk to her and she blasts me in Spanish, I had no clue. Her pride was hurt I guess, fuck if I know.
So last night I talked to her again in Spanish, gave her a rose I bought and walked away. She takes it, puts it on a table and leaves it there, just incredible. She wasn't approachable, I saw this guy get shut down, she wasn't going up at all.

But she acts really angry ALL THE TIME.FIREY LATIN TEMPER. I mean she is a CUNT with a capital C.
I may NEVER get to fuck her, to bad cause with that much anger she would be an incredible wild bitch upstairs. This one intrigues me, but I have yet to ask her up, so if I decide to waste a bullet it should be wild. This one needs taming, where is my saddle?....I want to do her, so next time, no trying to be nice, no drinks or flowers for this girl, no bullshit, just vamos arriba? But when we get upstairs and I KNOW she will ask for the money first...Nope. It's my way or the highway for this one. I'll waste the 11 bucks and laugh about it.

Anybody want to try ? You can forever say, I got one the great Panocha couldn't cause she will probably NEVER fuck me now. I'll tell you this though...I'm not done , but if I get it, it's gonna be commando style. A straight grudge fuck. She'll hate it, I'll hate it, awww, it's gonna be great!!

After a while this other chica comes in, we'd seen her last time we were down as a group wearing this super hot outfit, great body, EVA de Tabasso,? I asked her 3 times. We invite her for a drink and I tell Potatoheads friend, "hey,she is so hot, if you don't fuck her I'm going to" . She wears this I Dream of Genie outfit. Her top is a halter of sorts, it covers just her breasts, wraps around her shoulders like a swim top. Totally bare brown flat tummy. She was wearing this chiffon type of see thru wrap for a skirt. I'd have paid 60 bucks just to masturbate in her shadow.

Were sitting there and Potatoheads friend says something to her and she pulls her top aside , each perfect breast exposed for all of us to see along with everyone else in the place, we were in the front booths by the back dance floor right up against Hottie Central.

So Potatoheads friend takes her up, rates her a 8, incredible body, good service, but she nicked him for a big tip.....I think he coughed up an extra amount that was way to much. I didn't get the whole story.

He comes back down and I immediately call her over and buy her a drink, I just asked him if she cleaned up all-right and he confirmed that she did.....thats all I needed. I didn't wanna taste him while I was up there.

Now here is the kicker, this chica is fine all over, I rate her a 7 overall, probably better with repeats , but almost all the chica's I rate are 7's , a few 8's and a couple of 9's.Anything below a 7 is a no repeat. There is and has been only 1, thats right, 1 TEN. Around 1% of all the chica's I've had the pleasure with.

I found her around Sept. of last year, she was the one that asked me to leave my Cowboy boots , {"FAG BOOTS" Potatohead them} on when we fucked....she is the ONLY chica I ever talked to that insisted she loved her job and after I did her several times I was convinced. She was insane,screwed me like the world was going to end at midnight. I begged her not to leave when she said she was going home for a while.

So as I head up the stairs with Eva, who do I spot, there she is....IT'S HER! I couldn't believe it! GOD IS GOOD CHILDREN, God is good. Next week I dust off the boots.

I waited till we exited the bar and were across the border before I told my Buds about her. I didn't want them screwing her, not yet anyway, I'd given them enough to chew on for one night anyway, introduced them to half the bar, some of my best fucks.

We went to CC next and I was spent having done # 2 all afternoon, then Eva. Fresh out of bullets. There were lots of chica's but I noticed quite a few buff good looking young mongers....always pisses me off.


Potatoheads friend, noticed me watching the younger mongers, said:

"Something out there scares you huh SP ? I can guess what it is. " Well,YOUR TIMES IS OVER!!!"

Don't you GET THAT ? IT'S OVER ! You should have let yourselves go broke a long time ago."

"SEE, you may be the biggest thing ever to hit these parts, but you're still nothing but two bit Mongers.. ON THE DODGE!!

I never met a Monger more affable than Potatohead or faster with the chica's than you SP, but your still TWO BIT MONGERS, and your gonna die OLD....... and all you can do is choose where!

Nice report, SP. It's good to know that there are still gentlemen out there... ;-)

Señor Panocha, Center of the UNIVERSE!!!!

Gotta love the readin' about the wild ride through TJ with the infamous Señor Hemingway... err.. Panocha. Sometimes SP's attitude kinda reminds me of... me. And that is scary.

Yours in whoring, craftily destroying all challengers, and living the good life. (Just stay away from my chicas already, goddammitt.)

Dogster el nefario

What a really interesting and well written post.

I smiled a few times as I have many of the same thoughts as you as to (I wonder what other people are thinking?) when they see me with Sweetie Pie.

Your lady sounds like she is allot of fun.

Keep up the good reports

Nice work SP. Your writing style flows nicely.
I have to salute your chica selection also.

Now give us a kiss...

drew

I think I know the Patricia you are speaking of, though I commonly refer to her as a Teri Hatcher lookalike. She rarely smiles and usually has a sour disposition while in the bar. If it is the same one, she is actually pretty good upstairs and has a good reputation, or at least did last year.

Her personality changed upstairs, but reverted to freezing next time I saw her and didn't take her up.

Update: Last week she was on my short list to do. She walked in and stood within a few feet of me, she simply ignored me. A MAN LIKE ME!! IGNORED! Can you imagine?

I said hello, she pretended not to hear me. Finally she moved. I went over to her and said Patrica " Cuando questa?" " 60" she said. I pretended it was sooo much....." mucho dinero"!

She pointed to my head and said " usted codo" I laughed and said " I'M NOT CHEAP!" That broke the ice, I said, " LETS GO". I expected a disaster upstairs.....

No problem in the room, her ass is a bit chunky sin ropa's but I can live with that. She is a firecracker.