Saturday

I was a bit frazzled in the morning, but not as much as I should have been after about a twelve pack. Good thing I’ve learned to pace myself, and I think a few nuts takes the edge off. By the time I walked half way ‘home’ I felt good as new. I had the perfect day planned down to the minute. Get lunch (awesome enchiladas right there at the VDZ hotel), check the board and my email at the internet café (what a bargain at about a buck and hour), get a massage at Azteca and hopefully find Tanya at AB.

Azteca – Hilda

Once nice thing about Azteca is that you’re virtually guaranteed an awesome experience, and it’s an absolute steal at $25 for 40 minutes of bliss. (Note - massage at Azteca is non-sexual). Frankly, if I’m being honest, I’ll tell you that a great massage is better than a good lay (maybe not a great lay, but better than an okay lay). About a two minute wait and Hilda (“eelda”) is ready for me. Not that it matters at Azteca (at least for me), but Hilda was cute, if a bit quiet. Hilda’s technique was excellent. I would have preferred a stronger touch, but she had some very nice tricks up her sleeve. One of her nice touches is that when she’s done with a particular region of your body, she’s kind of gently “trickles” (for lack of a better word) her fingers down your body, several times, each time with a lighter touch. Nice touch, my dear J Hilda’s style was a very good blend of professional deep-tissue massage and sensual (not sexual, but sensual). Gotta love how, at Azteca, they do you up, literally, from head to toe.

I pretty much decided, even before I walked in there, that I’d get another ½ hour or so, unless the masseuse was lousy. Sheesh, a meager $15 for another 30 minutes of bliss, who in their right mind wouldn’t? One nice thing about the “bonus” time is that you can pick out your favorite parts of her routine and have her repeat them. I had her do my back again, complete with that elbow-down-your-spine thing that feels so groovy. I had her do my pecs again, and especially the ears. I don’t know about you guys, but my ears are a MAJOR erogenous zone for me. The only thing I don’t like about an ear massage is struggling to not get a raging hard on in my underwear for the masajista to see. Oh well, they’re professionals I guess. GAWD was that ever rich…

I paid up at the front desk for the massage. Hilda was throughout pretty quiet – not chatty – and she seemed a little blue overall. It felt good handing her over two $5 in front of her co-workers and telling her, “muy beuno”, “me gustaria”. It was nice to get a smile out of her, at last. Be sure and tip these gals well if they’re good, fellas. They do an incredible service for peanuts, and deserve at least a minimal tip.

I tell everyone I know that they’re nuts if they don’t check out Azteca when they’re in TJ. Not only is it a sublime experience in it’s own right, but it leaves you feeling like a teenager again afterwards. It also comes in handy knowing a couple of professional massaje tips when it comes time to give your puta a little back rub. Can pay dividends now and then. So do yourself a huge favor and check out Azteca – you’re totally nuts if you don’t, IMNSHO.

MrBillO^™- ~ Your hapless lapdance reporter... ~