Daytime chica at AB, about 5' 2" or so. Medium-length brown hair. Very pretty face with big brown eyes. Has a little cellulite in the thighs when she gets out of her clothes. Speaks very little English.

This was truly a bizarre session.

In the bar, she quoted me $40 for everything plus a massage. Upstairs, she stripped and delivered one of the best massages I've ever had. Very attentive, deliberate rubdown from head to toe.

Then it was time for sex. And things went downhill quickly. She gave a covered BJ that was all teeth. Ouch. I had to beg her to stop. Intercourse with her on top didn't do a thing for me; it was all grinding with no up-and-down. Doggy style was even worse. She had me stand next to the bed and work from there. But her backward thrusts were so violent, she forced me to take a step back and nearly came tumbling right off the bed. I caught her just in time.

She looked back at me, smiled, and I lost it. We both wound up laughing like a couple of grade school kids.

I decided to forget the sex and let her continue the massage. There was no knock on the door and the session lasted about 45 minutes.

Now here's the kicker... I suffer from lower back pain on occasion, and had been having some discomfort for a few days. But ever since that massage, I've been pain-free. That alone made the 40 bucks worth it. All in all, it was probably the best possible session you could have with lousy sex. Truly bizarre.

She's a nice girl, but she should be working at Azteca, not Adelitas.