Well, kinda Anna Nicole TIMES TWO... She's a huge bleached blonde chica that dances in the floorshow, often wearing costumes like a soldier or a cop. The GOOD news is that she has tits the size of grain silos and she acts WILD both on stage and when entertaining clientes in the booth. For a total investment of less than 10 bucks in tips and fichas you can probably get your fill of her without actually taking the plunge with her in the room, where you surely risk being crushed to death anyway. In the bar you need only avoid SUFFOCATION (flashback to a baaaaad Chesty Morgan movie!). As you all know, I like 'em supersized, but this one's big beyond the limits of good taste. Of course if HK Esmarelda's ass gets much bigger, she'll give her a run for her money as far as Charles Barkley-esque cabooses go. Maybe they can bill themselves as a sister act!

Brother P,
I seen this chick--dat is a BIG GIRL. You're right that she seems wild, but, dude, that shit SCARES me!

Scares me too. But every once in awhile I get a weird urge, morbid curiosity maybe? to take one for the TEAM and go where many a monger (Mexican variety, that is) has gone before.

Brother, you get my vote for 'most courageous monger' if you get with her! I hear some very interesting tales from amigos about big strong girls, but my skinny ass can only look on and tremble. She'd turn me into a little squishy Ritmo-blotch on the bedsheet...

I like that idea of 'supersizing' on chica parts--get me an order of fiesty little jarocha, nicely browned, and supersize them titties, please!

You can bet i'm gonna be lookin for her.

What the heck is up with this chica? Does anyone have the scoop on her, where she's from, how she ended up in her current condition?

OK...

Having read all this about Anna, but never having seen her in person... WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE LOOK LIKE, MEASUREMENTS, HOURS-DAYS WORKING, ETC?

THANKS MUCHO

M

Matador
In one word HUGE. If you see a blonde with huge body and huge rack (fake?), it's her. Her face has same features as Anna Nicole. I'd say she is 190 lbs.

She's now dancing at HK, at least last night she was. Since you guys were too scared to go for it.....I saw, I went upstairs, I was conquered!

I hate it when the fatso dances right in front of me, but for guys who like 'em ho big, she must be the bomb.
I think her tits are real, they are huge as is the rest of this woman. Her stage name is Italia.
She dances at HK and seem to be one of the few who has a decent lapdance business.
I have seen her do laps at LC a few months ago and they looked nasty, although I can't stand fat... Oh, I said that already.

Red
Now that is taking one for the team.Thats the spirit!what no review?
Taxibob

DETAILS, MAN! Did you let her get on top? THAT would be true masochism!

Well as most of you probably know I try to avoid making detailed reports...partly because of the YMMV factor and the fact that just about all the girls hate the 'net. But...well in this case I'll share some of the details.

Porker calls her the "Bloated Anna Nicole Smith" on the LC board...that's pretty mean but she does look like ANS somewhat. Her real name is Alejandra, I forget where she said she's from. Hell I forgot what her name was when I was with her! I think I'm coming down with Tomas Sydrome.

Anyways......

I'm hanging in the new HK, sitting at the bar, and notice she's dancing there now. It was pretty close to when they just opened...maybe about 8:30 or so. When she was done with her set she came over to the bar to get a drink or something and I say "hola" and she smiles..so we start talking. She's real friendly...a good "vibe" was there...so off to my room we go.

Bottom line? Great chica! I won't say what I paid (ymmv) but it was very reasonable. She did have to dance again so the limited time factor entered into the picture...but it was still close to an hour or so...at a rate consistent with the half hour rate at AB.

She's extremely high energy, Porker asked if she got on top...well yeah but she holds herself up just fine...you won't get crushed. In fact she was almost a jackhammer! I've seldom received this much activity from any encounter so far in the zona. Great smile...lots of kidding around and playfulness...just about the best attitude I've ever seen.

And yes, those mounds of fun are real, in fact she said her sister, mom and grandmother are also "blessed" in the same way.

I'm not going to give an athos type rating, and as to whether or not I'll repeat is hard to say as I almost never repeat anymore...tired of the fave route. But I will say except for the fact that she's a big girl (which I normally don't go for...sober anyway!) everything was "right" and you couldn't ask for anything more from a chica in the Zona. She's a sweetheart.

Red, my brother, I don't believe ya! You actually did her? And survived to tell (or in this case, to NOT tell) about it? Impossible! You must be made a STEEL, dog!

Red --

YOU DA MAN!!! She always did seem to be pretty damned friendly -- thanks for the confirmation. While you may not think you're ready to get on the 'bigger the cushion' bandwagon just yet, you'll come around eventually! VIVA GORDITAS!!!

BTW, I have no idea what the latest dance schedule might be, but before the nuevo HK opened she used to kinda shuttle back and forth between Las Chavelas and Miami and danced in both places.

She really does look like Anna Nicole Smith...that is not a far fetched comparison. And as big as she is, she wears it well - she was born to be big...those natural titanics being Exhibit A. Can you imagine those on a slim girl? I'm also not usually attracted to the large girls, but I think she's damned sexy and nice. One of these days soon, she and me are gonna make brontosaourus love and turn that Cascadas into the Hard Rock Hotel. Thanks for your report Red!

I was in Miami on Saturday night and I saw her dance on the video monitor in Hong Kong Club. They say TV adds 10 pounds to you! Well now she looked really big, I went with a bloated Monica Lewinsky instead..good luck

I saw her in the flesh on Friday evening, and her belly was enormous.

After a very late arrival on Thursday night in the ZN, I dropped by Miami bar hoping to dance a couple of times, have a beer, relieve some of the tension of three hours of driving, and then move on to one of the stocked ponds on Coahuilla.

Alejandra was sitting at the bar, and she commands your attention. Or more accurately, her body does. In a way, I felt sympathy for her. Male standards of beauty are brutal and unforgiving. Large breasts are erotic. Huge breasts are an oddity, like the Bearded Lady at the circus.

I smiled at her and she smiled back, inviting me to take the stool next to her. We talked for about 45 minutes while she nursed her drink. She's 21, from Mazatlan, and has no children. We talked about the usual stuff--family, marriage, sex, work, the weather, Tijuana, etc. She's extremely friendly and personable and, to her credit, seems very interested in other people. She asked as many questions as she answered.

Being in close proximity to those breasts is an experience. They're impossible to ignore. They had their own distinct presence, as if a third person were sitting with us. She kept having to adjust the red spandex dress she was wearing because the top kept slipping down and the bottom kept riding up. She excused her self and went to the ladies' room, returning a few minutes later in a black spandex dress with a Playboy logo on it. She explained that she has ears, neck tie and tail to go with it. That is something I would dearly love to see.

The black dress kept riding up and sliding down too. And really, you can only watch that action for so long without either getting totally turned on or totally turned off. I got turned on. So I invited her up to my room at the Cascadas for a half hour.

And so, what began as simple curiosity on my part turned into a very rewarding evening over the next four hours. As Redongdo noted, she is unusually friendly and enthusiastic in bed. And she has the physics of BBW sex down pat. Whatever a woman needs to learn about body movement, flexibility, and leverage when you're boobs are huge, she's already learned. She was graceful in bed.

Afterward, she seemed reluctant to return to HK, where she was supposed to dance three more times before the bar closed at 5 a.m. It was now about 1:30. So we talked and talked, and then talked some more. I asked if she wouldn't get in trouble with the bar. She said she didn't care. She'd worked at five different bars since she arrived six months ago and was planning on leaving Miami soon for a Revolucion bar.

When she complained that her ankle was sore from dancing, I rubbed it. She seemed to like that, so I asked if she wanted a massage. Hell, I was already in my room, I'd just been sexually satisfied, and I had nowhere to go and nothing to do. She gave me an enthusiastic "Si!!" and plopped onto her stomach, those big hooters billowing out from under her, her head resting on the pillow. I gave her my standard half-hour full body massage, with special attention to her back and neck (carrying those melons in front of her all the time must really strain her back).

When I finished, she thanked me, said she was really sleepy, and asked if she could sleep in my bed for a while. So we did nappies. She curled up in the crook of my arm and rested her head on my chest. In twenty seconds she was sound asleep, snoring lightly. I dozed in and out during the next two hours, alternately watching the porn videos on TV and listening to her almost hynotic snoring. She was evidently bone-tired.

Round two came later while we snuggled sleepily under the covers, and was more relaxed and easy-going. Maybe a couple of hours of rest had recharged both our batteries, and maybe she felt a little more trusting of me. I dunno. But we experimented--actually I experimented, having such a grand canvas to paint on--and found some buttons that were a lot of fun to push. She seemed to think so too.

Afterward, we both squeezed into the tiny Cascadas shower stall for a soapy rub-down. About half the shower time was taking up with washing her chichis. Again, it's like having three people in the shower and they are slippery lil' devils when you soap 'em up.

We toweled off and she got dressed, fluffed her hair, and looked despairingly at the mirror (she had no makeup in her small purse and her mascara had run a little). I gave her double the original price for the two sessions. She was pleased. It was a bargain to me for four hours with her. A big wet friendly kiss from her and she slipped out the door.

I completely agree with earlier posts that she is a very sweet, friendly, fun-loving girl in a kind of "Kitten Natividad on steroids" body. From an objective standpoint, she's fat and the estimate of 190 lbs. is, if anything, probably a bit low. But she seems perfectly happy with her body and herself, and this self-confidence comes through from the very first moment you talk to her. And it's infectious. So I wouldn't want her to lose a single pound. In fact, next time I'm bringing her a banana cream pie from Marie Calendar's. I'm going to smear it all over both of us and we're going to eat and eat and eat...

Hey Matiz,

I had to chuckle while I read your post, between the two of us (I think I still get credit for walking point on this one!) we may be helping to create the most bizarre "Superstar" yet!

And while all these other guys are acting like cruel little twelve year olds playing "Lookit dah fat girl wif the big tits" we obviously have the maturity of thirteen years olds playing "I gotta git mah hands on dem big tits!".

WOW! Or as the subtitles at the movies say 'GUAU'!
She certainly has the body to become LARGER THAN LIFE. Thanks for yet another awesome, awesome post.

Power to you brothers. I see where ya comin' from--ain't goin' there myself (!), but see whatcha talkin' about. I'm too stuck in that little world of 'big titties is great long as they come with a waist that don't challenge 'em for size' mentality. Maybe I'll grow up enough someday to get where you bros is! Meantime, keep postin' about your adventures wit this chica--great readin'! She sure has seemed a friendly girl when I seen her doin' her thing at other guys' tables...

Porker,

It was good seeing you the other night at Miami. I was going to tell you about Alejandra (knowing that you and I share a special appreciation for a certain part of the female anatomy), but you were so juiced about your Titanic experience that I never got around to it.

Redongdo,

I was a bit reluctant to follow the trail you had blazed with Alejandra. We are poles apart on so many things that it just seemed wrong to be following in your, uh, footsteps. But meeting her was a pleasant reminder that the physical aspect isn't nearly as important as the inner person. I guess I owe you a beer for that.

Some things have universal appeal.

It's all circular...even the north and south pole are connected by the same planet.

Matiz, ditto. Sorry to ramble on like that the other night, but I was a bit wound up. While I missed a great story your terrific post was worth the wait. Thanks again!

Ascent of Mt. Alejandra, Part Dieux. April 25, 9:30 p.m., Base camp, Zona Norte, altitude: sea level. I arrive at the Hotel Cascadas, stow my gear, and go to the tavern next door. It is full of natives drinking the favorite local brew, called Tecate. Although I have just scaled Mt. Alejandra last week, I am back this time for a solo ascent without ropes, carabiners, pitons, or supplemental oxygen. In my climb, I will be aided only by a slender tube of lubricant to prevent rashes and chapping in exposed conditions.

9:45 p.m. I don't see my guide and climbing companion, Alejandra Alps, so I go into the next room and immediately spot her on the elevated exercise platform. She is diligently performing warm-up exercises in anticipation of our grueling climb: squats, bend-overs, leg kicks, and pole climbing. In fact, she has worked up such a sweat that she has had to remove most of her clothes. Many local well-wishers offer her small monetary donations as a token of their esteem and their hopes for a safe journey and speedy return.

10:00 p.m. Before our adventure begins, we have one last celebratory drink in the tavern--a fermented beverage made from the local blue agave plant--and toast the success of our expedition. I feel obliged to tell my trusty guide that I've lost my voice, possibly the result of the drastic climate change between the U.S. and base camp, but that I don't think it will interfere with the climb. She nods with concern and indicates she knows a folk remedy practiced by the natives that will help. She scoops up a handful of limes and we trudge off to our advanced base camp.

10:15 p.m. Advanced base camp, altitude: 50 feet. We briefly bivouac here, where my trusty guide lives when she is not climbing. Apparently, the camp has recently been used by an expedition sponsored by Victoria's Secret and they have left the camp in an appalling mess. There are pieces of lace and silk scattered everywhere--bras, panties, thongs, and nylons. In the center of the bed, however, they have thoughtfully left a large Domino's pizza, which my trusty guide immediately begins to devour. After thus fortifying herself, my trusty guide reaches into her rucksack and produces a bottle of honey, instructing me to chew on the limes and then eat the honey. I comply with her instructions, knowing that she is an expert on local customs as well as alpine topography. She tells me to keep the bottle as I may need it later.

10:30, High camp, altitude: 65 feet. We have finally made it to our high camp, from which we will launch our assault on the Twin Peaks known collectively as Mount Alejandra. The route is a simple frontal assault that has been successfully explored countless times in the past by other climbers such as the veteran explorer Redongdo and, of course, yours truly: beginning at the feet of the range, you proceed up a wide couloir between two long, low ridges until you come to a giant cravass surrounded by short, wiry shrubs. From there, you must traverse a vast, milky-white plateau until you reach the base of the Twin Peaks themselves, which are separated by a deep col.

10:55 p.m. Summit of Mt. Alejandra, elevation: 67 feet. Hooray!! We've reached the summit. The essentially unchallenging climb was enjoyable, to be sure, but the view from the top is incredible. As we near the summit, my trusty guide shouts, "Oy! Oy! Oy!" repeatedly in a loud voice. My Mexican Alps Guidebook tells me that this is a local custom to honor the climbing gods and that, although the word does not have an exact English translation, it roughly means, "I have reached the top." (The Usage Notes in the Guidebook also indicate that "oy" is one of only two words in the local dialect that must always be shouted at high volume, the other being "taliacero", which loosely translates as "We are out of toilet paper".)

11:00 p.m. High camp. We savor the fruits of our successful climb for only a few short minutes before wearily lying down to rest. My trusty guide complains of soreness in her knees and ankles, probably the result of her grueling pre-climb conditioning regimen. Nothing will endanger an expedition like leg cramps, so I dutifully massage her ankles, and she immediately falls asleep. I huddle next to her to conserve body heat. After a while, I become concerned that she has perhaps suffered a pulmonary embolism, because she remains motionless for almost two hours. However, her intermittant snoring reassures me that my companion is alive and well.

1:30 a.m. High camp. After resting for some hours, we feel refreshed and ready to attempt the more difficult southern ascent, which requires that we negotiate a giant chimney separating to large dome-like structures. On closer examination of the route, I discover a previously overlooked entrance point at a higher level in the chimney. However, my trusty guide assures me that no one has successfully used that entrance and lived to tell about it. I am mindful of Sir Edmund Hillary's admonishment that climbing a mountain "successfully" entails not only reaching the top but safely returning to the bottom without incident. So I am not disappointed that we cannot chance this new route--the lower entrance point is actually much larger and more accessible.

The southern ascent goes well, although the climb itself is a bit slower than the first, due no doubt to our fatigue. For my companion, there is of course the obligatory shouting of "Oy" at the end, though she does so in a more subdued voice this time and seems to have lost some of her earlier enthusiasm. I have not, however, and offer my own shout to the gods.

2:15 a.m. My trusty guide and I are now covered in sweat from our exertions, so we shower. It has been a satisfying and exhiliarating experience. We hug each other in congratulations for a job well done. Using the local currency, I pay my trusty guide the wages she has earned, and then she dons her gear and begins the long trek back down to base camp. I decide to remain at the high camp to savor the experience as long as possible.

Epilogue: In years to come, men may ask, "Why did he do it?" They will wonder, "Was he brave or foolhearty? Was he crazy or just foolish? Was he blind or was he a visionary?" I politely say "no" to all of these sobriquets, and simply remind you of George Mallory's immortal answer when asked "why?": "Because it's there."

OK Matiz, I believe you. 6000 mics of windowpane, goddamn!

Anyone know what happened to this chica. She had an incredible set of chichis on her and was awsome upstairs. But I haven't seen her in a while.

"Italia" was gracing the stage of Adelita Bar in La Variedad earlier this week.

Italia switched to AB. I have been known to be disgusted by her in the past, but must say although she is WAY too much woman for me, she dances well and has a great attitude. She noticed me from LC and HK, although I always tried to avoid her overwhelming tenderness.

Thx for the info guys. What time did you see her, because I've been to AB a few times and I've never seen her there before. Does she work days or nites?

I saw her in the early afternoon on, I think, Saturday.

Oh dear god, an ANS look-alike? Stick a fork in me cuz I'm done. There goes every penny I've saved and all my future earnings. Speaking of earnings, what's her going rate?

If you can imagine ANS after she inhales about 100 liters of helium, that would be the chica they're talking about.

She was dancing in Adelitas early afternoon sunday.
Taxibob

Or so the seismograph at JPL reports.

Just kidding.

This girl sure looks like the girl Italia (the bloated Anna Nicole Smith) that's on the other posting. It may be her but I'm not sure. This chica Alejandra is a new stripper at the LC, at least I've never seen her before. Alejandra is from Sonora, blond, light skin, a little chunky. When she was stripping, I saw the biggest breasts I've ever seen on any girl. These things are massive! God bless the doctor who gave her those!

Don't know much else about her, ie: age, kids, how much she charges, etc. because she hard to get to know. She's always in the company of men which kind of makes it hard to walk right up and ask her how much does she charge for a good fuck!

Any other info. about her would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

The Master.

MB,

Look over at the Hong Kong bar section. I started a topic over there that may be the girl you're thinking about. Her name is Alejandra in "real life".

It's been probably close to a year since I've seen this girl. Is she still working in the zona? If so where? The time I met her she claimed to be working also at Madonna's (this was while she was dancing at Chavelas during the daytime). This was several years ago and at the time she claimed she didn't go to the room, but the posts indicate that she later changed her mind about that.

CalTech hasn't reported any tremors in N. Baja lately, so I suspect that she's gone, perhaps to Japan for some Sumo wrestling.

Does anybody know a girl name Ivette?

Super Big Breast, Anna Nicole Lookalike? Does anyone know where this girl is now? Although there were a lot of big breast in AB, this girl Ingrid had huge hooters, no Anna Nicole lookalike that I saw. Also checked HK and LC, I think she's gone.