One of the minor chapters in my “Tale of Woe” had to do with my new Chevy getting side-swiped and my insurance company bailing on me when I needed them most. But like most chapters, there is very little which can’t be made much more tolerable by a trip to TJ.

I got into San Ysidro around 11 PM. Gee, too late to get my car in the shop….what to do? Start at Adelitas.

It was the middle of construction. The upper bar was boarded up and the place was packed. I didn’t recognize anyone but Jorge, the asshole. There was some quality on the hoof. I really wanted a known entity for my first visit in a year.

There was Bernice de Acapulco looking just like I needed. We had a quick drink and headed upstairs. She must live at the gym when she’s not working. Her bod is rock hard and she still has the tightest puchita in TJ. The Senator says it’s because I’m the only guy who’s ever repeated with her. He may be right. Anyway, it always surprises me what some chicas will and will not do. She’s got a strict rule book, but still let’s me do my favorite nasty finishing move.

There was a chance that I might meet up with Alee. So I went around to his favorite taco place in The Ally and then on to Hong Kong. HK was hopping. There were lots of dancers and drunk guys. There was one perfect looking morena hardbody dancing on the bar - too perfect. I felt like Chuck Berry “Too damn cute to be a minute over fifteen”. I made my way to the left of the main stage past the end of the bar. Two girls wearing nothing but soap suds walked right in front of me and asked me to help them up the step to the shower. Suddenly I had and eye-to-beaver view of the shower show! Such fun! Knowing I was in the right place, I took a break and got my room at Cascades.

I got two steps back in the door when my spider sense picked up this girl dancing on the bar behind these three big guys. YOWZA!!! She was HOT! She saw my reaction and probably smelled the green stuff in my wallet. It was too crowded for her to come over and dance for me, so she just stopped, stepped off of the bar and squirmed her way to me in the crowd. That was Paulette. I took her upstairs to buy her a drink. There was a chica in the next booth jawing with her real loud in Spanish. I just sat there like an illiterate gringo (easy for me). She was spewing out stuff like “what are you waiting for, Paulette, you know you’re going to take him upstairs and suck his dick!” I had just gone Vesuvius all over Bernice an hour before. So, I decided to take my time. We went up to a private dance booth. WHEW!!! She was all over me. I’m sprout’n as I type this. She stood on the chair, facing away from me with her ass in my face and her hands on the far side of the booth. I stuck my tongue in her pussy and that was IT! We had to get out of there and up to the room.. To tell the truth, I was overwhelmed with this chick! I was hoping that lighting would strike me dead right there so I could die happy.






Next morning:
I had asked CH for advice on getting body work done. Erip suggested Cadillac body shop on Fourth St. Thanx Erip – good advice. I got over there around 9 AM. They said they could get the car done in one day. The Chevy was still in SY and the line at the border was back past the foot bridge.

I had to make a decision: Wait in line for three hours or go get laid. Tough call…….

AB was pretty dead as I had expected. I took one loop around the place and decided to go troll the ally. As I stepped outside, I bumped into Candi wearing jeans and a denim jacket. She was happy to see me after so long. I waited for her to change and bought her a drink. We had a nice chat about the changes at AB she said “New bar, new chicas, new televisions – same Candi” I love doing Candi for her first roll of the day when she’s energetic and her hair is still damp. She did me up, down – every which way. She got off pretty big. Then she looked up at me with those glassy eyes and said the four most beautiful words in the Spanish language “Feenees in mi boca?”

Afterwards, we were chatting. Candi got excited and said “Mans die at Adelitas now!” I didn’t follow what she said. She continued “Si! Big black mans fitty years wit biagra die in room!” I told her she had to take it easy on the old guys. She denied it was her that killed the guy, but got a pretty good chuckle out of it.

I got the car into the shop, got lunch, grabbed a blue vitamin and decided to get a few beers. I like Tropical in the afternoons. I think they have the best looking dancers in TJ and you can drink pretty cheap. I got one of the crappy tables up top, behind the pillar. There was a strikingly beautiful Aztec looking dancer on stage. After she changed, she posted herself right in my view. I asked her to join me and I bought her a couple of drinks. She was very friendly, but polite, almost formal. She spoke almost no English. The Vitamin V must have been kicking in. She was much younger than my normal flavor, but that was something I just had to taste. My God she was beautiful naked! I don’t think she had ever been done the way I did her. She went from a demure Aztec princess to a screaming banshee in about fifteen minutes. Those bastardos upstairs from Tropical always seem to put me in the room right next to the desk so they can hear. They were laughing when we came out of the room which really embarrassed her. I still can’t remember her name.

I had a couple more beers, did some touristy shopping, had a couple of beers, ate a shrimp cocktail, had a couple of beers, crappy experience with a Revo Stripper, had a couple more beers and a shot, sat with a drop dead gorgeous Chicago Club dancer playing with me under the table, had a couple more beers – WHOA!!! Lemme back up

I stumbled in to Chicago Club just as the floor show was starting. I was pretty buzzed already. There were probably 15 guys, all sitting in the upper tables. I was the only guy sitting next to the stage when this Salma Hayek looking goddess with natural chi chis and hips started to dance. I had most of her attention and I was enjoying it. She joined me for a drink. She was bitching about the guys who watch the show but don’t tip. She started playing with my leg, then squeezing my crotch – “c’mon baby I take you upstairs and fuck you like a Porn Star!” I was tent’n pretty good. But I wanted to meet up with Paulette when I was at peak stride. I told her I had to go look for my friends. She was really pissed when I left with a buzz, a tent in my shorts and a few hundred bucks in my pocket.

I stopped in to AB on my way to HK. There were a few more faces I recognized. Maria Magdalena was back to here attractive “girl next door in jeans” look. Bernice was ready for round 2. But there was nothing remotely capable of keeping out of HK and out of Paulette - or so I thought. As I was leaving, I felt a rough pinch on the inside of my thigh. - Kenia!

She stepped back like she wasn’t sure how I would react. I leaned right over and gave big hug and kiss. We lip-locked for about twenty seconds right there in front of the DJ booth. I hadn’t seen The Fav in two years. Alee had told her my plans and she worked hard to make sure she was there to meet me. She was still in street clothes, so she went to change.

We had a quick drink. She wanted to tell me everything that had happened for the past two years – but first things first! The nookie was just incredible! Two years of absence had hadn’t dampened the chemistry at all. It had been a long time since the plywood had banged around like that! We dozed off for a few minutes just like old times.

Back in the bar, Kenia got me caught up on her life story and all kinds of gossip. She’s worked hard to prepare herself for her next career. She’s been going to school during the day and working enough nights to take care of her kids. I told her how happy I was for her since her kids are getting old enough to understand things. I started dozing off in the bar after an hour. We made a date for the next night when I’d be more fun.

I went back to my room expecting to get a quick nap and go find Paulette. I slept until 10:00 AM.

I felt GREAT in the morning! I had about 8 hours to kill until I met Kenia. I was expecting to get my car around 3. By my math, I needed to get a nut before lunch.

I had never done one of the low rent chicas on the west side of Consititucion before. I was really curious to see what $20 would get me. I found a very nice looking chica who approached me for $20, so I figured “WTF?” Sure enough, she took the $20, pulled one leg out of her stockings, stuck her knees in the air and said “ok fok me now”. That wasn’t doing it for me. I gave her another $10 for a 2 minute wrapped bj. Then I turned her over and did her hard from behind. Well that was fun!

Touristy shopping, check on the car (it would take an extra day), internet café, yada yada yada,


Kenia was supposed to come by the room around 6. I got myself ready:

Candles and incense for the room tonight – check
Vitamin V for later – check
Styrofoam Ice Chest - check
Bottles of water – check
Extra tooth brush for Kenia – check

I wandered over to Revo to kill a few hours. I found this tourist bar with a band and stopped in for a cool one. An attractive Mujer wearing a western style denim outfit sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. I told the waiter to put it on my bill and she got really friendly. She was drinking a Bloody Mary with clams in it and to tell the truth, it wasn’t bad! She was on vacation from Mexico City and she was in the mood for white meat! We danced and had a few drinks – and then it was time for me to go! She was NOT happy!

Dinner with Kenia was nice. It was very comfortable, like old times. I don’t remember the place too well. We did agree that that the food was much better at Los Pinos. They served a very nice local red wine. They called it a cabernet, but it was more like Chianti. Something was bothering her. I figured out that she felt this might be the last time we would ever see each other. We decided to get to an internet café so I could help her with an e-mail account.

We ended up at the internet place next to Las Pulgas. I brought up a web browser and started to work getting her an e-mail address. That was pretty simple. She wanted to know more about the internet, so I showed her Google (GOOOGLAY as she called it). I typed in Sonora and it showed a bunch of links. She thought that was pretty cool. Then she grabbed the keyboard and typed in “Adelitas”. Some DIPSHIT is putting chica pictures on the entry page of his site!! I thought Kenia was going to cry. She knew most of the girls in the pictures. I got her calmed down. I told her that the girls probably asked to have their pictures up there for attention. I told her that her friend Samira put pictures out on the web and that I’ve never seen pictures of her on the web (all true).

We walked next door to Las Pulgas and danced for quite a while. Kenia just nursed one glass of sangria. I the old days, she would have been sucking down tequila like crazy and would have to carry her to the cab. She really has settled down and it suits her well.

We went back to my room and made love all night. It’s really amazing how comfortable and natural it is to be with her after so long. We got up for a couple of hours. We ended up down at Las Chevelas telling old stories, talking about kids and watching everyone else get drunk for a change. We went back to the room for more nookie and cuddling. She had to leave at six in order to get her kids to school. In the past, one of us would have been pissed off or she would be crying. This time we were both very happy. That’s the way an all-nighter should be.

I slept until 10:00 and woke up refreshed. All I needed to do was get some food, get my car at noon and get out of town. I was perfectly happy. I packed my bag and headed out. I had no desire for any more…..”Hey is that Norma?”

Norma, the thin Aztec street girl was looking really good! Well maybe just one more roll. I really like Norma. She does what she does with extraordinary skill and precision. In particular I lover her cowgirl ride. She gets her hips at all the right angles. WONDERFUL!

Quick bite at Crickets and I’m on my way out of town. “Sorry Senior, the car won’t be ready until 3” DANG!!

Now I’m COMPLETELY spent, I’ve got a full stomach, no hotel room, been drinking for three days and I’m stuck in TJ for three more hours! I’m wandering up Revo and I’m watching three trucks full of troops with automatic weapons driving North. There’s a night-cammo helicopter hovering over Zone Norte. That was too ominous for me.

A taxi driver barked out at me and started a very interesting conversation:

“Hey Amigo – you just get into town?”
“No – I’ve been here for three days now”
“ohhh – So you’ve seen EVERYTHING, right?”
“Nobody’s seen everything”
“Right! And I’ll show you something you’ve never seen before in Tijuana”
“Whataya got?” I was expecting him to say something about a donkey show. But out of a million possibilities, he said the one thing that could get me in his cab.

“You like Chinese girls!?! How about a nice massage by pretty Chinese girls?” I HAD to check this out, if for no other reason than a scouting report for The Senator.

Surprisingly, he took me to Ejecutivo at the top on Ninos Heros. I had never been there, but CityOG and Valentino had raved about it in years past. I got in and the sharp-looking guy in the suit showed me around to the rooms. I liked the big room with the Jacuzzi. “Now let me introduce you to the girls”. There were these two cows standing in the hallway in schoolgirl outfits. I suppose I was visibly disappointed. “Wait Sir, we have more girls” Three more girls showed up, one was ok, none were remotely Chinese. “One minute, Sir” he barked something in the back and Irma walked in.

Irma wasn’t Chinese, but she was beautiful! She was yet another Aztec beauty. She had shoulder length, black wavey hair, big beautiflul black eyes. She also had what call the “magic thighs”! The round shapely, tasty thighs.

We went back to the big room. Right away, she asked “You want sexo with Irma?” Normally, that would be a stupid question. But I had gotten six nuts in the past 24 hours and I was BEAT. I told her we should start with the massage. She’s not much of masseuse, but she sure made the bread rise in a hurry. We negotiated a deal which would send me to the Banamex machine before I got my Chevy out of the shop.

She pealed off her clothes to reveal a STUNNING picture of beauty! The little pointy chi chis were delicious. Those magic thighs went up to form a perfect round butt! I was in awe!

She went to put the rubber on, but realized it wasn’t right. She stuck her head out the door and a girl brought in a big Trojan. That really makes a difference. She started in with a very theatrical wrapped BJ. Eye contact, hair bouncing around, smiling and giggling – whew! She got up for a cowgirl ride and I reached down for a grab at her perfect butt. She knew she was using me up. I felt the stir. Normally, I’d want to hold off and give to her right. But, I knew I didn’t have the energy. I popped. She couldn’t figure out why there wasn’t any juice in the rubber.

Only thirty minutes had passed of the hour I had paid for. I really wanted to get this chica into the Jacuzzi. It was WONDERFUL! She was French kissing me, rubbing my neck and splashing water on me. I was sucking her titties, tonguing her belly button and playing with her butt.

We got out and toweled off. She helped me get dressed and I was out of there. The Taxi driver was waiting for me. I got in his cab and said “Hey, I didn’t see any Chinese girls in there!” He told me I didn’t look like I should be complaining and drove me to the shop.

The car was done – I was done! I was happy!