I have enjoyed the services of various establishments in Bangkok, notably Darling Massage, which I would reccommend unreservedly, but for the purposes of this report I will recount an adventure a little further off the beaten track, namely in Khon Kaen, a small town in the Isaan region of Thailand. Last summer I visited a very classy hotel in Khon Kaen, the Sofitel. This is an excellent hotel, which is comparatively cheap for the quality of room and service that one gets. I stayed in a junior suite for approximately 30 pounds sterling per night. However, the aspect of this hotel that is most interesting is the entertainment centre in the basement. Towards the back of this centre is an establishment known as Madam Cleo's, which is a karaoke bar where the girls are available for rather more than singing along to 'Feelings'. I found the ambience of the place pleasantly cheesy, being based on a cod Egyptian theme. The beer is brewed on the premises and is very good, although it costs rather more than Singha.

I was there on a week night, but the place was fairly lively by about 10pm, so if you wanted you could just watch the action, and I got the impression that the management would not object to that. There was also a good selection of quite attractive girls, so there was an incentive to do more than just watch. This was assisted by the fact that the mama-san was very helpful, going to the trouble to find a choice of two girls for me who spoke some English. I made my choice and found that the immediate commitment was to buy the girl a lady drink for about 40 baht (US$1 approximately), which would last 45 minutes. After some chat, the girl made it clear that there was an option to pay a bar fine so that I could take her back to my room for a sexy massage. A brief conversation with the mama-san established that the bar fine would be 600 baht and then the girl would want 1500 baht (altogether around US$50). This is actually fairly expensive for Thailand, especially the provinces, but I fancied some action and I fancied the girl. On the whole I would say that the decision was justified in that the girl took some pains to ensure that I was a happy bunny by the end of the experience. So on the whole I left with a favourable view of Madame Cleo's. Definite positives were the trouble that the mama-san took to find me a choice of girls that would be appropriate and the girl's attitude in that she was concerned that I should be satisfied with the experience. Another favourable point is that the elevators in the Sofitel are arranged in such a way that there is no walk across the lobby. You can smuggle your date up to your room quite discreetly and that is something that some of Cleo's customers would be relieved about. I also got a sense that a threesome would be a distinct possibility from the girl I selected, so that also is an option. In addition I have heard there are other opportunities for sanuk in Khon Kaen at the lower end of the market, both in massage parlours, and with freelancers in discos, one of which is attached to the Sofitel. I shall be investigating further come June.

"GoGo" bar in Khon Kaen

The bar is situated in a group of Kareoke bars in a little dog-legged soi between Pimpasut road and Klang Muang road, best entered directly opposite the Khon Kaen hotel.

The first bar, opposite the Khon Kaen hotel is a late night bar, I left it well after three in the morning and they were still serving drinks, with the lights on, but not many people.

Just past this is the "GoGo" bar, the sign outside says only that. It is entered by going up a set of stairs to a room on the first floor. It is a dimly lit dirty bar full of old furniture, and caters to the local Thai clientelle.

Within a minute of sitting down I had 2 girls, sitting one either side of me, who offered to take off their clothes for 100 Baht each.

Even in the dim light I could see that they were neither young nor good looking, there were better girls in the bar, but what the hell! They guided me to seats at the side of the busy bar where it was slightly darker, removed what few clothes they wore, and draped themselves over me. Quite good fun.

About 20 minutes later, off duty local police arrived to drink and watch the GoGo dancers, the girls dressed again quickly as they entered the bar.

I took the chance to escape from the GoGo and try the other bars. My bill was about 100 baht more than I expected for 3 beers.

The other bars all seemed like local Karaoke bars, the "Cupid" bar was my next stop. The friendly waitress serving me was a Katoey, who sat down with me to pour and share my beer. I do not mind Katoeys, but this one got a bit too friendly and started kissing and fondling me. I found her lips very sexy, but Katoeys are not really my taste.

I tried one more Karaoke bar, but it was just a drinking den, before I returned to the GoGo bar.

In the GoGo bar one of the ladies immediately offered to spend the night with me for 1,300 Baht inclusive, overpriced I thought, so I just had a few more drinks with the ladies before the bar closed. This time I was overcharged by about 200 baht, perhaps I barfined the lady without knowing it.

By now I was feeling fairly unsteady on my feet as I had drunk seven large bottles of Heineken, It was not a good idea to take the lady home, so we had one last beer at the late night bar before parting company.

Pros: A good change from Bangkok and Pattaya, Cheap evening out.

Cons: Not the best looking women, no small bottles of beer.

Cons: Not the best looking women, no small bottles of beer.
That's because all the best ones go to Bangkok and Pattaya!!
Funnily enough on my last trip to Thailand (scheduled for 11 days, turned into 4 months...) I stayed with 2 girls for a longer time than normal, both of them from Khon Kaen, both very very pretty and lived about 1 kilometre apart, spooky!
I went there and stayed at the Princess hotel, one of the tallest buildings there, it was excellent and only 1300 baht per night.
Khon Kaen is actually a large sprawling city, with the suburbs extending to around an hours drive out of the centre.