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	Pictures	7		2002/02/22, 12:37 am

Here is a short excerpt from my November 2001 trip report about Xzyte Disco in Pattya.

This was my last night in Pattaya and I had still not gone to Xzyte Disco. I had read so much about this place so I asked Rung if she wanted to go to Xzyte with me. She did, so I barfined her and she left to go back and change. Dart either hadn’t decided yet or was still looking. But I told him where I was going and hopefully if he found a girl, he could meet up with us later.

Rung came out, I bid Dart goodnight and Rung and I headed out to 2nd Road to hire a baht bus to take us to Xzyte. It was 50 baht to go there. I happened to glance down at my watch on the way there and noticed it was almost 2am. I was wondering if the place was even going to be open by the time we got there. Supposedly a 2am crackdown on all nightlife places was in effect now.

It wasn’t that short of ride and we arrived in about five minutes. We took the “back road tour” and zigzagged our route on several smaller Soi’s before arriving. Once there, the front lights to the place were off, but there was still action going on at the door and cars in the parking lot.

We get up the door where we were greeted with Wais by several girls in pink dresses. We were then led into the building and to the left, down a step and into an area closer to the stage, and then finally to a small table with a couple of stools beside it to sit on. This table was pretty close to the stage.

Upon entering, I noticed a lady on stage singing with the band. The two huge video display screens on both sides of the stage had a close-up of her face. Rung told me this lady was one of her favorite singers here and she liked her very much.

I was very impressed with the place overall. First for the size. However, given its size, the place was kind of quiet in terms of people, but it was a Thursday night. The lower area (The Pit) was full of people, but the surrounding area behind the pit and the upstairs area were completely empty.

My first thought was that I had never been to a club like this before in the states. And I could not think of one similar in size and features.

Rung and I ordered some drinks, she ordered a Heineken and I (wussily, but I had drank too much tonight already) ordered a sprite. They ended up bringing me a Spy. I think it is some kind of wine cooler. Rung cleared up the misunderstanding for me and I received my Sprite.

We continued to kick back and enjoy the live show. I started to like the overall atmosphere and began really liking this place.

Then I had to do to the restroom. Some of you might be asking why I am including this in my report, and you have every right to do so. However, Ranger sent me an email one time about his adventures in the Xzyte Disco toilets. I wasn’t entirely unprepared for what I was about to experience, but even after reading his email on the subject, I wasn’t exactly prepared either.

One of the comments that scared me was when he mentioned one of the guys in the restroom started to massage his ass while he was using the urinal. I kept that foremost in my mind as I approached.

When I entered, to say that “an army of service attendants were in the restroom” would be a huge understatement. Jesus! Do this many people REALLY need to be in the restroom? They each wore white shirts with navy vests and each vest had a number on it. Oh my!

I declined on the urinal and headed to the stall. After finishing, I opened the door and THREE, yes THREE guys were waiting for me. They lead to the sink where I started to wash my hands. One guy was behind me massaging my calves and hamstrings. Yet another guy was massaging my shoulders and arms. And then finally, yet ANOTHER guy was handing me soap, a cold towel, a warm towel, and then finally a comb. The grand finale was one of them popping my neck in each direction. Man that makes me nervous though!

While attempting to leave a silver trip tray was immediately thrown in my face. I threw down 20 baht, and number two pointed back at him, so I threw down another 20 baht. Finally, the THIRD guy wanted ANOTHER 20 baht and I said no. They were just going to have to split the 40 baht and I left.

Wow! Never thought using the restroom would EVER be that interesting. I came out and Rung was waiting for me. One of the highlights after I came out from the restroom was someone handing a girl on stage a coke, her chugging it, moving all around really fast to some music and when the music ended; promptly letting out a nice belch! The audience all got a really big laugh out of that.

The finale for the evening was a Thai guy coming out and signing Bon Jovi, “It’s My Life.” I don’t know what it was with this song and Thailand, but I heard it all the time while I was there. Mitsubishi Motors had a commercial that ran, (not that I watched that much TV while I was there, but every time the TV was on, I heard or saw that commercial) with that song playing while they were advertising cars.

I thought the band sound pretty decent though. Mr. Thai Bon Jovi stood on a platform that raised him up above the others on the stage. Then it later brought him back down. After they band finished this song, they exited the stage.

Then they started to play some dance music, which I guess the best description would be some House and Techno music. The video screens lit up with some digital animations and the huge cage above “The Pit” displayed various light shows. Rung started dancing and then I eagerly joined her. Man I love the way she dances!

We only stayed for about an hour, and around 3am, we headed out. As we were walking down this main street Xzyte was on, I think she pointed out someplace called “Clown Disco.” Does that sound right? We continued walking down this main street until we made a left and headed down a side street. She said she wanted to go to this one place and I had no idea where she was taking me. After a short walk, we came across a building that had water falling and dripping across the glass windows in front.

Like I said before, the show is a cross between Star Search and Solid Gold. Total cheeseball variety show with a lot of locals sitting at tables but not much dancing. By the way, one of the 'girl' singers is actually a ladyboy. Girls in Thailand love this cheesy shit. Their music is 10 years behind and the tv shows are garbage but This is Thailand.

Those bathroom attendants scared the shit out of me. Three of them ran after me while I was heading to a urinal. I had no clue what to expect. A little too touchy and grabby for my tastes and these guys were a little too feminine...if ya know what I mean. They tried to grab my neck from behind but I turned around and gave them the look of death. I don't even like it when chiropractors crack my neck.

Overall, I would say it is a fun place to take your girl because it reminds the girls of Thai variety shows. Not many normal places to take your girl but this is close. I think it's two for one on most night and costs 2 oe 300 baht, can't remember for sure.

The place was much too loud for my taste. Met a non-bar girl there though and we danced awhile, then took off for some overnight fun.

This is definitely the kind of place you have to be in the mood for. Most of the ladies absolutely love it.

On my last trip I went to Mistys in Pattayaland for my birthday. I know most of the ladies here. They found out it was my birthday and suddenly I was showered with garlands, baht notes and many of my drinks were covered. Of course, I had been a regular here for ages. We had a blast. Later that night I met an American that joined my little party and together we took six girls with us to Xzyte to finish off the night. Later, the mamasan and the other dancers showed up to join us. A great time was had by all and we closed the place down.

I thought it was a very impressive place and the performers that night were quite good. They definitely had us up and dancing most of the night. Really one of the best birthdays I've ever had. I'm still not sure how I'm going to top it next year, but I'll sure as hell give it my best shot.

Great place to take your date or gf because they love the cheeseball, Isaan-style variety show antics. The placed was packed with mostly Thai teenagers and very few farangs with their dates. I pointed out about 2 girls who looked incredible in the show and found out later that every girl (except one) working at the show is actually a ladyboy. Fooled again.

They have a new trick that is similar to the cheeseplate trick at Trop. After serving drinks, the waiter will place a basket of popcorn at your table. As soon as your girl places one piece in her mouth, one fo the waiters comes over and charges you 40 baht and puts the flashlight on the bill. Not much money but I hate when Thai people try to play "trick the falang" (althoug this happens much, much less than in Mexico). I told them to take the popcorn because I didn't ask for it. My gf was smiling cause she has seen this before with the taxi drivers and their tricks. She was right there with me, yelling at management. They finally backed down, said they were sorry and gave us free drinks. I was probably out of line but I was a little drunk (I don't drink in the states, so I am a light-weight). I then told the manager (in Thai) that the best way to drive away farang is to make them uncomfortable by trying to trick them, even for just a little money.

Nobody has made a posting on this place so I'll make an update.They now charge a 200bht cover for falangs only with a drink.Thai's get in free.I don't think much of that but what can you do.There were more Farang thai couples than I remember 3 years ago,and the dj is playing a lot more hip hop.Still the same cheesy varity show,but for me it was better than hip hop(my taste).Overall still fun for a night if your with somebody,although it seems to be a bit more of a tourist place than 3 years ago when it was almost all Thai.

I went there last night. I really like the place a lot. The dancers (female) are really, really hot.

They opened with my favorite song, Dragostea Din Tei. I have some video of it. Peter29 would love it. I thought Thais singing English language music was funny, but if you've never heard a Thai sing in Romanian then you are REALLY missing out on some fun.

I can't wait to get back to the states so I can post the video. I also had a Dutch man come up to me and tell me I had a beautiful woman with me. That was funny because I had my date like five minutes earlier he had been eyeing her.

He seemed really surprised to learn I was from America and thought for some reason all the Americans were scared to come to Thailand.

Still a really fun place. I try to avoid using the restrooms there, but had to water the garden. I had to run the gauntlet of like five Thai guys holding out towels and and tip trays when i finished pissing. And I ALWAYS use the stalls there instead of the urinals to avoid getting a massage while I wiz.

It is way too expensive for Thailand, but I still like it. Great fun...