Malaysia is located in South East Asia between Thailand, Vietnam and Indonesia. More than half the population are of Malaysian decent, while 25% are Chinese and almost 10% Indian. This is a Muslim country but there are plenty of Buddhists, Hindus and other religions so you’ll have few problems with your attire or finding something to drink. However, don’t mess with drugs because these people don’t fool around with traffickers, they hang them.

Adult Entertainment
The Malaysian scene is a curious one. Prostitution, to the best of our knowledge, is illegal ... but so is pirating music, movies and software (you’ll find these activities taking place here too). The hedonistic establishments, therefore, are referred to as a “Health Club” specializing in massage. They really do give massages though, various types including foot reflexology. Raids are a slight concern, but they happen so seldom, scarcely a thought is given. Each establishment has numerous early warning systems though, so if there is a raid (we’re only personally aware of two ever), the lady dons a rob, you wrap your towel about you and “What seems to be the trouble officer? I’d like to finish my massage now if there’s nothing else.”

Kuala Lumpur, the capital and largest city in the country, is where most of the action takes place. It was built around a hundred years ago when tin was discovered in the area (it was once the biggest tin producer in the world and you’ll still find plenty of pewter goods being manufactured here). Even with all its modern buildings and monorail and other public transportation systems, the city is still part of the Malaysian jungle and you’ll see evidence of it everywhere.

While the resorts and smaller towns provide Health Club services, Kuala Lumpur has the most. In this city you can expect to find a few streetwalkers around the hotel district and half the cab drivers will offer you “young lady for massage” if you so desire. Walking down any bar-lined street in the evening, you can be sure to have half a dozen pimps approach you with the same offer. The girls are usually waiting in a taxi close by. If you are interested, the pimp calls the driver who then runs the girls over to a discreet location. You can take a look and see if there’s anything to your liking. It is also possible to find freelancers working the more popular nightclubs. If you’re having a drink in a popular spot, just look for attractive ladies making serious eye contact with you. Unless you get this sort of thing back home, there’s a good chance she’s doing a little work on the side. Be discreet because some of these ladies might also be Sarong Party Girls (SPGs) whose goal it is to hook up with an expatriate who will show them a good time in a long-term relationship.

Health Clubs
Walking down any commercial street, you are sure to find at least one massage parlor. They can be about as dingy as a cheap, old Midwest American hotel, or quite a classy joint. Two of our favorite stand-alone Health Clubs are equipped with a big Jacuzzi (five of them in one establishment), a sauna (one place actually has a television inside!), a steam room and a comfortable lounge. It appears as if every good hotel (and numerous dodgy ones) in the major cities has a Health Club. The better establishments have outstanding facilities. Two we have visited have a beautiful grotto-like Jacuzzi where you can relax before and after the main event. They are also equipped with big Barclay loungers lined up in front of a wide screen TV where you can while away your time watching Chinese action flicks or sports. When you get hungry, there are usually free snacks (fruit, deep fried things, rice and/or noodles and local sweets).

The girls here range in age, physique and beauty as much as Brazil or the Netherlands. However they are nearly all Asian. Local Chinese and visiting Chinese (affectionately known as “Dragon Gals”) seem to be the most abundant of the courtesans, followed by Malays. You can also find Indonesians, Thai, Korean, and Vietnamese as well as the occasional Indian. Some places bring in Russian girls for a few months. With the exception of the Russians (which cost as much as much as 50% more), most of the Health Clubs charge the same rate for each girl. A few have a sliding scale that can vary widely; some charge more for the Chinese as they come from afar while others charge more for the Malays as they are under greater risk of being found out by their families. The one problem you might find with some of the ladies is language. While many speak English, just as many can’t so you’ll have to, uh, resort to body language.

Quick tip: If you enter a hotel where you see a lot of traditional Islamic dress, you can be pretty sure there's no Health Club in the establishment. If there are lots of Chinese men everywhere, there's a pretty good chance you're in the right place.

Inside the Health Club
Here’s how it works. You enter the HC and are greeted by one of several “captains” who asks your interests. He may describe the various types of massages available, but he may or may not mention anything about sex. If not, all you need to do is ask about a “package” and you’ll get the response you’re looking for. Depending on the club and the number of girls and clients that day, you may not get an opportunity to make your own selection. The captain will do his best to meet your needs, but usually you’ll get whoever is next on the list. If you’re not happy with the choice, you’re free to send her back. Again, depending on the HC, a full package costs anywhere from 130MYR to 250MYR (35USD – 75USD) for a 45-minute session while a regular massage is less than half that amount. By comparison, the pimps charge at least 200MYR per hour (but if you’re a good negotiator you can get the price down to 150MYR or less).

Once you’ve made up your mind as to what you want, the captain leads you to a locker room where you don baggy shapeless swim trunks. If you’re concerned about your valuables, you have the option of leaving your wallet in a 2-key safe deposit box (not a bad idea). Now, what do you want to do? Shower, sauna, steam bath, Jacuzzi, snack, watch some Asian TV, it’s all there. “Ah,” we can hear you now “but all that will eat into my 45-minute session!” Now here’s the interesting part, you are charged for the time you spend with the masseuse, not the club. This means you can go in and lounge around for an hour, get your 45min massage, lounge around for another hour and only pay the base fee.

Once you’ve relaxed a bit and are ready to go, the captain leads you to the room. The rooms are about the size of an Amsterdam red light district chamber, but you will rarely find a real bed. Instead, there is a raised section of the floor with an inflatable (or industrial strength) mattress with a thin sheet. In the corner you’ll find a shower. Sometimes there are mirror along the raised floor, sometimes not. You will rarely find decorations. If there is music, it will be piped in through overhead PA speakers. There is a phone or intercom on the wall. After a few minutes, the lady will enter the room and greet you.

If you go with a plain old massage, you get a damn good massage. The massage girls tend to be older and not as attractive as the package girls, but they know how to give a real massage. Some masseuses will disrobe if you ask politely. You may also find that she offers to provide you with, um, additional services. If you find the massage more arousing than relaxing, you’ll probably be offered a hand finish. Most of the girls expect to do this so it’s not a big deal, additional charges are levied on occasion, but they are negligible. If the girl likes you, you may be offered oral services or a “package” finish.

If you go with a package girl, you’ll start off by undressing and jumping into the shower. She will wash you quite thoroughly, and then wash herself (sometimes after sending you out of the shower). After toweling off, she’ll instruct you to lie down and proceed to give you a decent massage if you so desire, otherwise she may begin with plenty of kisses across your chest and stomach as she makes her way south. Many girls will work their oral charms without a condom (and then spit into a tissue so as not to catch anything), while others exercise more caution. However, intercourse is always with a condom (and we don’t have to tell you that you’d be a fool to even be with a girl who would do otherwise).

While the custom for North America and Europe professionals tends toward “neat and tidy” (no hair below the nose), it is not the case in this region. While the Asian women are far from hairy, they will not shave as Chinese men consider this bad luck (What’s up with that?). You will also encounter problems if you are seeking ladies who are open to anal sex, but if you call around to the various Health Clubs, you may get lucky. Tattoos and body piercings are also quite rare.

When you are satisfied, it’s back to the shower for a quick wash-up. Keep an eye on your watch though, as the lady doesn’t need to. If you haven’t finished after 45-minutes, the phone will ring indicating that time is up. The lady may ask you for a tip, but this is not always the case, although some (more accustomed to westerners) may pester your for a tip earlier. As you are mostly naked, it’s kind of hard to hand over some cash. Tell her how much you want to tip her and she will inform the front desk and the amount is added to your bill.

Now you can make use of the Health Club’s other facilities again.

Great advice but where are they and what are the names of some you recommend.

Detail, details. The problem is that there are so many of 'em. Yeah, I visited a lot of 'em -- all for the sake of research, naturally. Now if I could only get a grant, I'd finangle a PhD outa this.

The purpose of the guide was to give you an idea as to what you can expect in general. I didn't set out to do a "Let's Go" version (damn, wouldn't that be a great gig for a Harvey!). I may be able to whip up some suggestions, but my fear is that I'd be hit with requests for locations too (and let's face it, KL is a friggin' maze).

Unless someone needs some information soon, I'm preping for my upcoming trip (T minus 10 days and counting). I can supply more details in late January.

hey wombat,

r u the same guy in sammyboy's forum?

(I didn't see this message until now, so Mom2002, if you're out there ... I don't know if I'm the same guy. I certainly used sammyboy's forum in 2002, but I honestly don't remember if I posted.)

A member sent me some questions about the KL scene. I figure they'll be useful to other Hombre's so here are the answers:

KL is certainly more expensive than Thailand, but it’s a very different experience. Health Clubs are closer to the soapy/massage places than bars. You don't mingle with the girls in KL Health Clubs (karaoke is different, naturally). Sometimes you get to pick the girl, sometimes you don't (ask up front). The cost of a KL Health Club is closer to the cost of a soapy session or an over-night with a Thai girl (depending on a lot of factors). Remember that many men travel to Thailand for their cheonging (being bad).

KL is an undercover scene, for the most part. There are no entertainment centers that come anywhere close to Nana & Patpong. I guess Thailand is unique that way. These clubs are like locker rooms where you can relax and hang out with the boys more than drink with the girls. I never saw a single guy alone in any of my visits (in fact, many guys were astonished that I went solo – go figure).

The customers of the Health Clubs are generally Chinese Malays. I've met a Korean and a couple of Japs there. I suspect there were the occasional Chinese, but I wouldn't know. To the best of my knowledge there is no discrimination ... with one unusual exception.

There are signs on many of the clubs stating that married Muslim men are not allowed. I don't believe that it's because they don't want them, but because married Muslim men damn well shouldn't even be there! If a health club catered to such, I don't doubt they'd get raided more frequently.

As far as the girls in the clubs, you'll see Malays, Chinese (local and imported), Thai, Indian (local), Indonesian and the odd Russian (or Russian mix).


(Message edited by wombat88 on August 26, 2004)

Wombat is very accurate in his description of the Malaysian Health Center scene.
I have one simple but major beef. Although I feel that Malays are the most beautiful women in Asia, it is very difficult to find them. After a long flight into Malaysia, you will think you are right back in Hong Kong or Taiwan after seeing the monopoly of Chinese women in the health centers.

Yes, they are at very high end karioke bars that can only afforded by wealthy businessmen on expense accounts. But for the average monger that frequents the KL/JB health centers, they are very difficult to find.

Islamic law keeps Muslim Malay women from drinking, being out at night alone, and especially prohibits them from working in brothels. This includes health centers. This is what I am told. If my assessment on Islamic law is off a bit, understand that I am just trying to make a point. That point is that it is very difficult to find Malays at these health centers. They are mostly filled with Chinese women.
If you are interested in finding a health center wtih Malays, your best bet is in the Federal Building. Any cab driver knows where it is. Also, the day time is the time where you will have the highest number of Malays. I think this has to do with the restrictions on what they can do at night.

But the health center scene is great. Please add in any info if you know where else to find Malay women in KL/JB.

Good point! The Federal, by the way, is not a government office building, but a hotel on the Bintang Walk (KL shopping area). Another likely choice for Malay girls is the Genesis Health Centre (in the hotel district close to Bintang). Most of the Malays you do find are from Sarawak, the "big island" (Borneo) portion of Malaysia. You can still have good luck with the local Sarong Party Girls (SPG's), but be prepared to spend serious girlfriend money and time.

I shall have to post some more photos, I guess.

Oh, one other point. While the beauty thing is subjective (I too think Malays are gorgeous), it's their voices that really do it for me. I'd tune in to English speaking Malay radio stations just to listen to the female announcers. They'd best be described as having a sing-song quality to them and only the most gentle accent. Mmmmm ...

(Message edited by wombat88 on September 16, 2004)

Could someone recommend a hotel in the areas of the HC's that are easy to find. I plan a trip in mid to later december 2004 and would like to know what hotel to stay in and the cost, location. This will be my first trip to KL.

The Federal Hotel would be a good bet. They've got a club in the basement. There are at least five more (that I can think of) within a five minute walk. Not sure of the prices. I stayed at the Marriott hotels. Keep in mind that most of the KL hotels are within a 1 kilometer area. That's also where you'll find the nightlife downtown.

Long awaited Malaysian photos:

Photo: Dragon Gal
A gorgeous Chinese import.

Photo: Elf's Room
My cute little Malaysian Elf in one of the standard rooms.

Photo: Lovely Linda
Many girls come from Borneo. Linda is one. I must go to Borneo some day.

Photo: Sweet Rita
A cute girl from the taxi services prowling the hotel district.

Photo: Russian Babe
A Russian import (seriously over-priced and bad performance).

Oh Man Wombatt. Be still my heart Borneo Babe. Actually outside the Russian "babe" what an incredible line-up. I am gonna have to make that KL road trip and these pics have moved that trip up the priority list. Great Job

Sheesh, I forgot about these! Here's a few more for you Mongerx. They're not Malay, but you take what you can get in Kuala Lumpur. I'm just sorry I didn't get the camera in to shoot the Indian doll I found one evening.

Photo: China Doll
China doll import.

Photo: Sweetie Deena 1
Deena is an Indonesian import. Probably the sweetest thing I found during my stay. She was all excited about the bag of glowsticks I brought with me.

Photo: Sweetie Deena 2
She was even more excited when I brought her a real gift -- a silk scarf worth about $5USD.

Photos: Sweetie Deena 3 Sweetie Deena 4
She had a terrific time modelling it for me.

Photo: Sweetie Deena 5
She then neatly folded it and put it away.

Photo: Viet Babe
You'll also find Viet gals in KL.