I was in Hollywood Carousel the other night and overheard the following conversation between an Englishman, Irishman & Scotsman.

The Englishman held his cold beer and looks at the many lovely girls in the establishment and declares to his two companions " This has got to be the BEST bar in the world" "well it is fantastic" says the Scot "But I Have a great wee bar at home" "Called Mac Tavish's" "Its Greet, the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks the 5th drink is free" "well" said the Englishman "in my pub in the UK, called Camilla's Legs, (now open nightly) The landlord has a policy of when you have 3 pints of beer the 4th one's on the house and every night at 9pm there is a fantastic free buffet".
"Ahhh, thats nuttin" say the Irishman "Back home in Dublin theres O'Driscolls bar" "now the minute you set foot in the place they buy you a drink, and then another, all the free drink you like, then when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid" "all on the house"

"Really" said the Englishman " did this actually happen to you?"
" No not me self, personally, no," said the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister."

Well it could have happened.

Now that, hopefully, I have brought a smile to you face would you please give me advice where to stay in Pattaya, Its my first trip there and I am looking for a high end/4 star+ hotel thats GF and close by the action, which seems from reports on CH is Patong beach. I am only going for 2 days as a side trip from a 10 day trip to BKK in early May. any advise greatly appreciated.

And finally My first post "do you remember the first time" is midly amusing (I hope) and refers to the 1st time of mongering. This would make a great read if you think back over the years/months/ DAYS ! that you began this adventure in the land of mongering and share what was at that time a new chapter in your life.
(does not have to be as long winded as my effort)
Hope this pans out, good luck to you all.

Patong Beach is in Phuket, not Pattaya. Plenty of info on hotels in Pattaya is already posted.

Sorry ! Thats why i need held I'm plain stoopid.

Actually, I've been to the McTavishes on High Street in Fort William, Scotland, and there were NO free beers......for the record