I would like to get some opinions from more experienced Thailand visitors. In June I had my first trip to Thailand. I went directly to Phuket for holidays. On the 2nd day I did meet a nice girl from a normal massage shop. We did spend the rest of my holidays together. We had a great time together and in my impression it was the same for my friend. When I left she was very sad and lots of tears were running down her face. During my stay I bought her a new mobile since her old one was broken and also a ring she asked for to remember me. Since she did not work during my visit I also gave her some cash at the end (she never asked for any during my stay).
Now after exchanging some e-mails she asks for sending her some money which I refused. Now I wonder if all her affection was based on money. Then she must be an awesome actor, or is it a complete different concept between couples in Thailand? Your opinion would be appreciated, just to get a better understanding of the situation.
(Sorry for my bad englisch, I am not a native speaker).

do not send money...she is still working..

herbert,

Save your cash for your next trip.

Herbert1
A very familiar story indeed. Thai girls are masters at getting you to think they love you so much after spending only one or two nights with them. They rarely ask for money up front if they are playing you to be a long term ATM. They also know 99% of farang will cough up more than enough baht without ever being asked.
The request for cash after you left is a dead giveaway that she was in it for the money from day one. Do not send any as even if you do not she will welcome you like a long lost lover if you go back to her. She does not need to score with every farang. An occasional hooked sucker will do nicely. If you return to her - the game starts all over again.

That being said ,that is indeed how Thai couples manage money. All her money is hers - goes to her parents mostly. She would get a monthly " allowance " from her husband . When I was married to a Thai woman she insisted on some set amount that she could consider her own each month virtually like a paycheck. She hated to ask for money and did not want to just use " our" money without asking. At least in the beginning when she was still operating under Thai culture.

So there is a snowball's chance in Hell that she is being honest with you and considers you her true partner. YOU have to decide where she is coming from. A lot depends on what you promised her or asked of her when you left. Did you say you were coming back for her or tell her you loved her? Did you ask her not to work ? Things like that could alter the equation about her sincerity- not much-- but I would give her a little more benefit of the doubt about being honest with you.

I might add that if you two really had a good time and she seemed to enjoy your company she may genuinely like you and have some affection for you ... but, that doesn't change the fact that she also sees you as a source of income. In my line of work I genuinely enjoy some of my customers and look forward to doing business with them while others are jerks. In the end the money all spends the same. Sending her money is not going to increase any feelings she my have for you, only her bank account.

Mcd--

most wise post... something that we all know to be true, but somehow doesn't get communicated.

Thank you all for your advice.
It's really tricky when you face a different culture, especially when feelings are involved.
I still like to go there again, probably next year.

Hi Herbert, you seem like a polite gent. As the guys have said the dead giveaway is asking for cash to be sent from abroad. If any Thai girl (especially a plain jane) can hook a "live one" they have just aquired an extra source of income. In the bar biz we politely refer to these guys as "sponsors" and some extremely entrepreneurial BG operators can have several "sponsors" on the books at any one time. Some Thai girls are pastmasters at the mind and emotional games, and newbies are often in way over their heads. If a woman truly loves you why on earth would she ask you to send money? Certainly makes alarm bells ring. The Sexpats saying persists, "You never miss your Thai girlfriend, you only miss your turn!"