I few thoughts and experiences that I'd like to share for the first-time visitor to Thailand:

There are free maps of Bangkok on racks at the bottom of the escalator in the baggage pickup area of the airport terminal. These maps are current (unlike the maps of Bangkok that you buy in the USA) and it shows all the major hotels, tourist sites, and the BTS Skytrain routes.

The BTS Skytrain is an excellent way to conduct your own self-guided sightseeing tour of Bangkok. The Skytrains are air conditioned (an oasis in the heat and humidity of Bangkok) and I rarely found it crowded because it's probably too expensive for many Thais. You can purchase a 250 Baht tourist ticket for 10 trips (?) from the ticket window of any Skytrain station. A good guide on how to use the Skytrain can be found at:

http://www.bangkokbob.net/sky_train.htm

There are only two lines - the Sukhumvit and Silom lines - so there's really no fear of getting lost.

On weekends, you can catch the Skytrain to go to the huge market at Chatuchak via the Silom line. It is a huge weekend market, but the heat, humidity, and crowd were a bit too much for me. It's also an area where pickpocketers feast on unsuspecting tourists.

If you're looking for good shopping bargains for your friends back home or your Thai girlfriend, the best place is the MBK (Ma Boon Krong) Center. A huge air conditioned (a necessity for me) shopping mall. Bangkok Bob's direction on how to get there requires more walking in the heat and humidity than necessary. Here's my correction on his directions: From the Nana area, take the Sukhumvit line to the Siam Central Station and transfer or walk across the platform and board the Silom line. The next and final stop on the Silom line is the National Stadium. From the station, there's a skybridge directly to the MBK Center mall.

The Skytrains are an excellent way to do some daylight reconnaissance of the Patpong area (Silom line @ Sala Daeng station) or Soi Cowboy (Sukhumvit @ Asok station). Daylight recon of the Patpong area is a necessity if you're trying to find a particular club or to simply get a lay out of the place. At night, Patpong becomes a confusing wall-to-wall zoo for the uneducated.

If you're trying to save every Baht, you can avoid the taxi airport toll by going upstairs from the arrival area to the departure terminal and hail a taxi that has just dropped off a passenger. Taxis who pickup passengers from the arrival terminal incur an airport toll by the airport authority. As of late May 2001, a taxi from the DEPARTURE terminal to the Nana area using the meter only cost 155 Baht without using the toll expressway. At 1 a.m., traffic wasn't a problem so it was just as quick not using the toll expressway. If you offer the taxi driver a flat 250 Baht (includes tip and taxi driver pays toll), it would probably be a good deal short of taking the city bus.

If you're going to Pattaya, taking an air conditioned public bus from the Ekkamai Bus Station isn't a bad deal at only 90 Baht. A taxi will take you to Pattaya for 1,000 - 1,500 Baht. It can be a fast and somewhat reckless (fearful) taxi ride. Buses leave for Pattaya every 30 minutes and you're given an assigned seat. The bus ride takes about 1 1/2 hour. The bus is clean and comfortable and in my opinion much safer than a taxi or a mini-van. The Lonely Planet guidebook claims these public buses have a much better safety record than private buses. If you've only got one piece of luggage, the quickest and easiest way to get to the Ekkamai Bus Station is via the Skytrain's Sukhumvit line. The bus station is right next door to the Ekkamai Skytrain station.

When you arrive in Pattaya, you'll be met by several Baht bus/taxi. They'll organize you by your destination. Just tell them you're going to hotel X on Soi 8 and they'll drop you off near there. When you get to your destination and you don't get off, the driver will yell at you "SOI 8!" There are usually other English speaking tourist on the Baht bus/taxi who are always more than willing to give you assistance. The Baht bus/taxi fare is only 10 Baht. Again, no fear of getting lost since there's always someone nearby who will point you to your final destination.

You can also get to Bangkok-Pattaya-and-back via a mini-van arranged through a tour agent located in most hotels. The one-way trip cost 300 Baht. I'm not a big fan of this mode of transportation. The mini-van will go to several hotels to pick up and drop off passengers. If there are a number of passengers being picked up or dropped off before your destination, the entire trip can take more than THREE HOURS because of Bangkok's infamous traffic jam. The air condition on some of the mini-vans are known to malfunction or be very weak. It can be a miserable ride.

That's all that I can think of for now except for one thing. If you barfine a girl and take her to your hotel room, make sure that she turns off her cellular telephone before getting into bed. TWICE with two separate girls, their cellular telephone rang and they had to answer which interrupted doing the dirty deed.

Yujin,

I'd add to your well written "Basic Guidelines" that choosing a girl WITHOUT a cell phone might be an even better choice than having to ask your girl to turn in off.

The longer a girl has worked, the more likely she'll have lots of gold and/or a cell phone. IMHO neither of these signals the best situation. The longer she's been in the 'bar girl' business, the less 'Thai' she tends to be.

What you've written is an OUTSTANDING opening guide book.


StrikeEagle

Strikeeagle,

From my observation, all Thai bargirls including those at the Thermae have cellular telephones. In fact, it seems everyone in Thailand has a cellular telephone. When it comes to wireless communication, Thailand and most of the rest of the world are leaps and bounds ahead of the USA. If you go to the MBK Shopping Center, it seems as if every other booth is selling cellular telephones or accessories. There's NO escaping this menace of technology!

Yujin,
The fact so many people have cell phones in Asia and Europe has nothing to do with any technological edge over the USA. The cost of owning and using a cellular phone is much less expensive than having one in your house. I was in Japan in February. The cost of installing one line in your place of residence was approximately $2,500 - this was just an installation! The monthly fees were comparable to regular cell phone programs. I just got back from Malta a little over a month ago - The land lines there were so shitty that people had no choice but to use cellular. BTW, the cellular grid coverage for most of the Italy, Sicily, and Northern Africa was built by American companies... So you see - in the rest of the world they don't have a choice, in the USA it can be a choice. Okay, off my soapbox - I don't mind the girls having phones... just turn the fucking things off after they get to into the room... (prog)

How time marches on. It's been a good long while since I've been in the LOS.

I suppose everything does chnage with time. Use to be that cell phones and tattoos were good measures of girls to avoid as these were signs of much time in 'the business'.

I bow to your more timely knowledge and observations.


SE

Both are rampant.

Chen Ho...still here??...anyone heard from CH latley???

CHENG HO ..whoops

Progman or Buick:
I'll leaving in 5 Days!!!! and aonly have one unanswered question to my virgin trip to Thailand:
Where do you guys do your laundry? I'm going to be staying at Majestic Suites next door to NEP so if you have any recommendations I sure would appreciate it.
Cheers,
elfman

Elfman36:

If I may comment:

easy way is to let the hotel do it, usually back in 24 hrs, no hassell, and not much more than finding someplace to do it for you.

I usually pack for 7 days, after 3 I send my wash out. never had a problem when I am away from my home.

also, try to keep most of ur stuff cotton.

Hope you ( know the odds are in ur favor) have a fantastic trip, live the fantisy, ect

Elfman 36

Any laundry will do. I asked a waitress in one of the restaurants if she could reccomend one. She said she would do it. In general the smaller the place the better.

Overall the Thais are very sweet, just don't get them pissed off. Allways smile no matter what.
Who ever shows anger first loses any dispute.

I wish I was going too!!! Sawadee cap

Hi Guys! My buddy and I are planning on visiting bangkok in the Fall and we had a few questions. My bud is a cherry boy and wanted to lose it to a thai babe but not sure of the best place for the act. I've read about the soapy massage experience and thought that might be a great "first time" for him and me (of course!) Any ideas on what places offer the best soapys? Annies or Darlings...

Also, what do the thai ladies think about guys with hairy chests? I read somewhere that the vietnamese babes think a guy with a lot of hair is a strong man. Not sure if I should shave before I go or what. What do the thai ladies think? Any idea?

How tight is the pussy there? Should I bring some lubricant? I have an above average tool but haven't had any complaints from the local ladies.

Thanks for your advice and comments.

Germanguy6,

Your friend is a cherry boy! Holy shit. Thailand's going to kill him. If I were you I wouldn't even bother with a soapy or bargirl first his first time. If you really want to introduce him to the world of sex take him to Eden Club. He'll get 90 minutes to nut as many times as his little heart desires. He'll also have two girls to help him. These girls are really sweet. Introducing him to a bargirl may be too much trouble. Maybe after he's broken in you could take him to a Gogo bar. I'd recommend Hollywood Strip, on the third floor of Nana Plaza (Soi 4). As far as hairy chest - all these girls care about is the money in your wallet. You can be big, small, ugly, handsome, green, brown, three eyes, no toes, etc... the Baht is all they care about. You don't need lube unless you're John Holms. These girls may be small but their pussies are well worn in... (prog)

Thanks Progman! Did you guys ever get a hickey from one of these gals? I onced had one give me what I thought was a hickey but later realized she bite me as I shot a load into her! I guess I was moaning out in both pleasure and pain HA! but anyways my buds all joked about the "neck tatoo" I got! Great experience just wondered how wild these gals are.

Germanguy6 - YMMV. It usually comes down to chemistry... (prog)

Vitamin V......is it sold in Thailand..legally??
After trying it on my last TJ excursion i will not (if possible) go without it..heheh

Salsa Boy

Yes, quite openly... no problem. I believe a 100mg was about $8.00 US

Abuelo,
Thanks for the information and price. I hope to make my first visit this spring.

Salsa boy

I have been to Thailand a number of times. It is a great place. After the PI, my number one destination for fun. One note of caution, at least in the Patpong. I had a very bad experience in an upstairs bar. They didn't charge me to get in but demanded the US equivalent of about $20 to let me out. This alsos happened to a friend. Avoid the upstairs bars. Only go into the street level bars.

(From a first time resident as opposed to a visitor)I'd like to start this as a new thread, but considering there aren't many fitting this situation, here is the best place. Next month I'll begin what will be a minimum two year stay in the LOS. (Job related) I've got a few questions for my fellow Coochie Connoisseurs out there. I'll hold it down to two for now.

I've heard that driving through Bangkok is similar to Seoul, Manila, I-285 in Atlanta, or I-405 in LA, in that the walk is often faster than the drive. Is this true. Though I'll have my car with me, and DO NOT plan to use it much, I'd still like to know what's coming.

Here's another one. How do the ladies feel about cameras? (Still, or video) Has anyone gotten a lady to do a little taped tease before you tapped dat azz?

I'm sure a few more questions will pop up. I'm looking forward to the move. I'm still shocked I'm going. 24 months in the City of Angels--I guess I'm gonna have to buy a back-brace and a book of job related excuses. "Sir, I met this girl last night. After we beat knees I had to get down and say a prayer. GOOD LAWD look at dat azz. God is real. I lost track of time."

I swear, that flight is gonna kill me though. How long is that mess? I thought just getting to Seoul was bad.

Driving would be pain in ass and not recommended:
1. Roads reversed with driving on opposite side
2. Many one ways, odd side streets, and some where both sides of divider same direction
3. Motos weave in and out of traffic
4. Taxis and tuk-tuks squeezing in tight spaces
5. Recent tighter enforcement of traffic laws could land you in trouble

Summary is driving very dangerous for foreigners accustomed to driving elsewhere. Maybe can compare to Seoul or Manila, but nowhere in US.

If impatient type and skytrain can't get you to destination, you'll become moto fan. Often either raining andor too hot to walk.

Some ladies like cameras (more likely if digital and they see results) others don't, like everywhere else. I have Thai lady strip tease on video.

Flight is 19-23 hrs from west coast.

Won't need back brace. Should get vaccinations ahead of time. Should use filter mask occasionally outside, that length of time will be hard on lungs. Don't know your situation, may need to leave and reenter Thailand occasionally, check ahead of time so can prepare now for where else you want to go.

Weekends you should head to Pattaya via bus, will also help lung relief. Myself had no problem with 3 weeks but some have problems 3 days.

Two years will be tough. Expect paradise for first month then difficulty set in as realize no access to everything that makes US best place to live.

May need to visit other places outside Asia maybe Europe or Russia for break. Check around and prepare beforehand for any necessary paperwork.

"Two years will be tough. Expect paradise for first month then difficulty set in as realize no access to everything that
makes US best place to live."

What things would you not have access to?

The overseas life is what I live for. I LOVE MY COUNTRY DEARLY, but there's this thrill I get when I'm not at home (America). I guess it's the fact I can come running home if need be. Besides, I've spent two years in Korea--seemed like 6 months.

What's the deal with this air quality you keep hinting at? Is there a paper factory near by or something? When I lived in Korea, I often hung out at a friends place. His roomate drank dem frickin' protein shakes all the time. There was more funk in the air than the night James Brown was conceived. If Bangkok is worse than that, I guess I'll have to get a mask.

You mentioned Pattaya. I think I saw this in someone's report. Will have to go check again. How far away from Bangkok is Pattaya? I take it, the nightlife there is different from Bkk.

I do have in mind to see a few other areas, if possible, while in the LOS. I've always dreamed of seeing Hong Kong, and Kuala Lumpur isn't too far away.

For right now, I've got to come across a good camcorder. The Mission is about to begin. Got to find someone on par with Kiko Wu, Sung Hi Lee, Francine Dee, Exotic Evelyn, Jade Marcela, Mei Yu, or Kaila Yu who will make all dreams come true. Ooh Lawd, I've got to get to the gym.
:-)

"For how else can you get to a boogie, if you don't attack from the back." -- George Clinton

Well just got back from my first trip to Thailand and boy I'm in love big time. Pattaya is my favourite but Bangkok is lots of fun too. Chang Mai is a drag and in my opion a waste of time unless you want to do the treking tours. I like the lazy days on the beach at Pattaya.

My mistake is that after 5 one night stands with nothing less than 8's I setteled for 11 days with a beautiful 23 y/o who was gods gift to mankind and unfortunaley I fell in love with this princess of the LOS. Damn I thought i could just butterfly all over the place without a second thought. I am generally a no care kinda guy but she got me and now I cant stop thinking of her. I sent her a final letter to tell her the truth about my wife...etc and destroyed the address and phone number so that I would not make the big mistake of leaving home. I still believe a man should be able to have more than one wife (ha ha ha)

I write to caution the novice like me (although I did Angeles and Manila a few years ago). If you think you are just going over for a slam bam thankyou mam - do yourself a favour and set a rule. ONE NIGHT STANDS ONLY until you are seasoned enough to cope with the departing tears and feelings that follow on.

Thanyou Thailand for the best 17 days of my life and Club Hombe for the information that ensured I went to the right places and saved the money I did.

What is The Best Time To go to Bangkok, good weather not to hot,no rain, not during the peak of High Season,but a good time just before or just after High Season?? Any Info would be Helpful Thanks..

Personally, I think November is the best time to go. I have gone in September and November. September is still too damn hot and too rainy. In November, high season is just starting to get going and things are starting to cool down a bit. Just my personal opinion.

I agree early-mid November is the best time, all things considered. The weather is slightly better in January, but high season is in full swing by then.

However, anytime is a good time to visit Bangkok, IMHO!

Personally, I agree with Murasaki - as soon as you can afford the trip TAKE IT!! Weather is an inconvenience. As long as your hotel and NEP do not float away you will be able to have a good time. You will not melt (even though you THINK you might!!). Just look out for the traffic as that WILL kill you if you look the wrong way when crossing the street!!

Checking into Dynasty Inn Thursday morning. Life is good...

MM

Its real hot in April - if you dont like the heat then dont go around this time of year.

However you can always stay indoors and leave the air con on but dont forget you are still going to leave to get the girlies and that can be a drag in the heat.

Cheers