Here's a note about a massage/handjob possiblity in Antigua (it appeared in the mag,"Exotic"). The spa referred to is, I believe, the Antigua Health Spa, on the road to San Pedro:
"Near Antigua, Guatemala (Dave) visited a health spa that touted their combination of therapeutic mud baths, whirlpool, loofa cleansing ritual and massage as the ultimate. His masseuse was a gorgeous young woman. Their only barrier was language, but a helpful hand-illustrated sign showed that first you showered, then did the mud bath, the whirlpool, the cleansing and finally, the massage. At the end there was an illustration of a smiling, shining man with the caption "Nuevo hombre" (new man). The cold shower, the hot mud bath and the whirlpool were very pleasant for Dave. But while he lay naked on the table, he feared the woman was trying to separate him from his skin as she aggressively abraded his flesh with the loofa. Then came the massage. She began to rub his body with a marvelously fragrant ointment that quickly penetrated his exfoliated skin and soon had him tingling from head to toe. He said his skin never felt more alive. After a while she began to rub his cock with it.and then his balls. It gave him the wildest sensation he's ever had! The woman proficiently gave him one hell of a hand job, using the mysterious ointment for lubrication. It took a full week for his dick to cool off. Not bad for $6.00!"
Anyone able to confirm this service or whether the Spa is still open?

Unfortunately, the massage joint mentioned in my post above has gone legit and now runs a "family-oriented" health spa/weekend getaway operation. I can, however, wholeheartedly endorse another place which I just happened to run across (actually it was the girl standing outside the joint who blew me a kiss which was the tipoff that goodies were available at that locale). Anyhow, this place is located on the Calle Ancha, #92 (there's a red cloth flapping at the entrance to the cantina--if you get to the Texaco station you've gone about 150 feet too far). It's on the road you take to go to Jocotenango, the place which, on another website, had been touted for a joint called "La Fuente". Forget "La Fuente" (girls grossly overweight and generally unattractive) and try this other place instead. It's called N'hay que chicas (pronounced
"nye k chicas", meaning "only girls") and boasts 5-6 chicas in the 5-7 range, Guatemalan, who ask 50 quetzales ($6.50) for FS (though my choice offered no head). The girl I picked was from the Peten (way up north), very friendly and really liked to deep kiss and embrace. All the girls seemed to be just barely over the limit to be of age. The joint is a bar and you can hang around for a liter of beer if that's your pleasure. Some command of Spanish a must, I'd say.
Hours: 12-12

Palmiro, are you working your way down to Tierra Del Fuego?

Great damned reports, man, keep them coming!

Hey Porker, Good to hear from you. Indeed, I wish I were on my way to Tierra del Fuego to get as far away as possible from this f###ed up world. Unfortunately, I was just on a 6 day trip to Guate to see old friends with the wife (whose company is always appreciated, but her presence definitely limited my exploratory opportunities). Say, did you ever make it over to that place in Saltillo, "La estacion" on calle Abasolo?
Hang in there.

Tell Kerry Wood to keep up the good work. Might subsidize future mongering journeys for me.

I still have no idea where that place on Abasolo is. Will look for it this week, though, as it will give me something to do as I count down my last week before my journey to Asia.

Antigua, as a regulated tourist area, doesn't have any action at all. Just 2 miles North, however, lies the slum of Jocotenango. If you want quality, head to Guatemala City. If you want cheap action with lower quality standards, you can go to Jocotenango. A cab from Antigua runs 20Q, or $2.50. Ask for Maracaibo 2. There are others, of lower quality, such as Maracaibo (one block from #2) and La Fuente. Don't bother walking, as the streets are confusing, and the area is sketchy. Prices at any are about 70-80Q, about 10 bucks. You'll get what you pay for. If you want a quality club, there is one on the way to Guatemala City (don't remember the name). Avoid the street girls in Guate as they are nasty and will rip you off. I've seen a number of clubs near the bus stations in Zona 1; there is a wide selection. Low quality.

Here's an update on "N'hay que chicas" as reported last by me on 6/26/03: Place had 6 girls, all under 25 & most under 21--open from 3 or 4pm till 1am. Functions as a cantina with live-in quarters (very scuzzy rooms) for the girls (in the 5 to 7 range), all of whom were guatemaltecas with the exception of the morena I sampled, who was from Honduras. Service (at least in my case) was DFK, BBBJ, and main course, and you pay 100 quetzals (=$12.5) for each 15 minute segment of her time (I think the price may be jacked up for gringos, but I didn't feel like quibbling over 5 bucks). When I went there last, the flap over the doorway was white and not red (but passing by later I saw a red flap as well). Now here's another option not all that far from Antigua (50 kms, 40 minutes): in the town of Escuintla, on the way to the coast, I have a strong second-hand rec: "Tomboys", in the center of the town, 15-20 girls (6-8 range), 200 quetzals for 30 minutes, 400 for hour, and 1,200 for the overnight (salida). Operates as a well-appointed strip joint, no cover, drinks for 20 q.