Subtopic	Posts		Updated
	Archive 01	50		2004/10/21, 07:33 pm
	Archive 02	50		2005/04/19, 11:30 pm

You "backup" Cat and Athos??? I am not sure I would want you near my backside Milky....but i'd be damned proud to walk the streets of Rio with you....he he!

What a night at Terraco last night. I see BS's thief with a guy. She leaves to go to the bathroom and I quickly warn him to be very careful. He left with her anyway......?

I am sitting there with some buddies when two of the chicks that robbed me are suddenly standing in front of the bushes....right in front of me. My phone rings and it is sweet sitting a few tables away saying, "she is right in front of you.....the girl that robbed you is right in front of you" I smiled and said, "I know" I looked up at her and said hello. At first I don't think she recognized me because she just smiled. I asked her if she would like her cell phone. Quizzical look on her face. I asked her why she robbed me. The look was almost as priceless and the view of their butts bobbing as they ran away.....Evening ruined for two garota thieves.

Milkman is our certainly our backup; when the banditos come at us, WE rob Milky and throw the money at the muggers so they leave us alone.

Of course, Milky usually has more lint in his pockets than actual money, but the rateros do appreciate the effort on our part

Sandman,
The fact that they didn't immediately recognize you suggests that they probably rob lots of their clients. Pretty soon the victims all start to look alike. Too bad you didn't whip out a camera and take a pic of them...that would have freaked them!

I may have Sweet do that the next time we see them

Sandman how are you going to get Sweet out of the Termas long enough to do that? - Hemp

OK, Sweet at midnight at TA: he's spent all afternoon at a terma, drinking wine, then a nice dinner, drinking a lot more wine, then TA, drinking a fuckload of wine.....I'm sorry, what were you going to have Sweet do for you?

Cat,

That's a really unfair characterization of Sweet, he'll only drink a shitload of wine at TA, NOT a fuckload!

A "shitload" is only a few ounces, isn't it? (unless you're really, really constipated) I have no idea how big a fuckload is (my "loads" are certainly pretty minimal). But Sweet's imbibing of vinho tinto probably constitutes a "boatload."

If you see this one, RUN!

Photo: Unwelcome "Surprise" 1

Here's another;

Photo: Unwelcome "Surprise" 2

Say it isn't so! She's one of the hottest girls I've seen on this site.

Hey! It's Britney Spears!

Smirk-Did she steal from you?

General comments: (and a good idea to re-post like this frequently)

The longer I live here, the more convinced I am that stealing is a cultural norm here, especially with Gringos. The logic being that you will only be here a short time and nobody is really going to do much about petty theft with a tourist (albeit, the Dutch guy got some satisfaction recently)

Be it the huge unemployment situation, the rampant poverty, the crooked cops or whatever, they feel like you have something they don't and they want it and just take it; or, they can sell it and get money. They constantly try to shortchange tourists, over charge in restaurants, hotels (especially VIPs-only once has the bill been correct). DG and I asked our cameraman once if Vips overcharges Brasilians. "never" was his response. We then asked if Vips overcharges tourists. "always" was his laughing response.

Now, in one respect, even the Brasilians are not immune from muggings and robbery. Many onibusses are robbed daily. Many muggings occur on Brasilians as well. Very few wear any kind of expensive jewlery or carry large sums of cash. Many girls stash their cash in their panties (male cops are not allowed to frisk there). Roberies and muggings are an accepted part of life in Rio. Too bad because their tourism would soar if their reputation wasn't so bad. Then again, prices would skyrocket for GDP's and we wouldn't be having so much fun so inexpensively.
I constantly warn guys to take off their gold chains, take off the Rolexes, don't flash big wads of cash (if you pull out cash at a restaurant to pay the bill, keep it below the table so people can't see it), keep a big money and small money pocket concept, take taxis at night, walk in groups if possible, dress down (don't wear your ATM initials on your shirts...eh Jag?)keep your eyes glued about 2 blocks in front of you while keeping your peripheral vision 10 feet in front of you, keep your valuables locked in a safe or a locked suitcase, closet or room. Always lock your door and hide the key if you have a girl with you. Never, never let a drink out of your site. If you fuck up and forget, pour it out and mix another one. Don't leave your cell phone on the table while you are eating, carry your camera in a supermarket plastic bag. Avoid groups of kids or teenagers, even during daylight hours. Be street smart and aware of your surroundings anytime you are outside.
If you go to the beach, keep your valuables close at hand. If you have a backpack, tie a strap around your chair (don't take too much cash in the first place. Just enought for your chair, umbrella and a few drinks).
Avoid getting too drunk in public. The drinks at Help are very strongly mixed. Slow down. Have some water. Drunks are easy marks.
The second you let your guard down is when you are going to get robbed.....maybe even by that little sweetie that you just had the greatest sex of your life with and she is lying next to you ready for more.

Think, think, think SECURITY while in Rio and enjoy your stay....it will be memorable but make it the good memory kind. Unless you like to post reports of how you got ripped off or mugged on CH.....that is a different problem...he he!

Sandman great advice. My god that girl is beautiful and my buddy Sandman knows I love blondes. I need to put her on my "short list" of things to do. Smirker where does this beauty work or hang out? I promise to be careful and will report back guys. If I see her I will RUN alright, straight to the pharmacy for more Cialis.- Hemp

This is a "garota" to be avoided. Don't know if "she" is a thief, but is a tranny that hangs around Copa. Definitely remember seeing her a lot in Balcony in late Oct/Nov 2003 when I was down for a month but not since. Most of the girls in Balcony knew she was a tranny but were surprised I knew. A friend of mine who lives in Rio had pointed her out as one to avoid as "she" is more convincing than most TVs.

A Tranny - aw shit! - excuse me while I go throw up. Thanks Ardgneas you might have just saved me another Heart Attack. - Hemp

jeez... that is the one thing i hate about South East Asia.. We know they are in Brazil as well but that is a tough one. Deep voice, big hands, big feet, adam's apple. Am i missing any of the other signs?

Yes Hemp, "She" is, cross "Her" off your list. Ardgneas stole my Thunder, but your Cialis line was classic!

I was with Cubanut when I met her and she had us both fooled. He thought she was hot too, and he hangs out with hot porn stars all the time. I took her back to my apartment and started taking photos, and she wouldn't take her panties off. I remember thinking to myself, what did she think we came back here to do, and after a few seconds the light came on in my head.

I told her that she had to leave, I gave her some money to go just so I wouldn't kill her. Kind of like the end of Pulp Fiction when Jules gives Ringo the money in the diner.

Sandman has said it 1000 times, the best looking women in Brazil are men.

Krazy!!!

The next day, to get the monkey off my back, I did 4 different girls.

SF Hombre, when you be sending me my membership card?

Krazy!

See you guys in May.

Smirker

Where's the dipshit who posted last year that he could spot a TV a block away and anyone who mistook one for a woman was secretly gay? I've looked back at those photos several times now and I still can't tell!

Smirker, do you have a story to tell us? Come on, out with it (no pun intended)! SFHombre told us his encounter with a trannie, you should tell us yours.

Also, I hadn't had one drink all day/night, so I had all my senses with me. That's how convincing "she" was.

No mas!!! too much torture!

Where and the hell is GCL when you need him? Is he MIA again? - Hemp

Gawd damn...I would have been fooled. Thanks Smirk for the "heads up".....equipment between the legs and all....cheeeeezzzzzeeee.....and I gave her/him an 8. Oh well, new rating system.

Between Hunterman, SF_Hombre, Smirker and a few of the ASEAN guys we can start a new category. Best looking Katoeys/Trannies in different countries. Hope you donate your winnings to a good cause...he he!

Nothing wrong with that tranny that a good pair of scissors couldn't cure.

Sandman

"Between Hunterman, SF_Hombre, Smirker and a few of the ASEAN guys we can start a new category. Best looking Katoeys/Trannies in different countries."

Who says the games haven't already begun? I know Blazers put a pic of a katoey up a while back and she got GREAT scores. I even put up a pic of a katoey in my first big report last year and most never noticed. Not only in Brazil are the best looking women... men...

Because the Thai females have a somewhat "androgenous" walk, I operate by this maxim in LoS:

If it looks like a man and walks like a man - it's a man.
If it looks like a woman and walks like a man - it's a woman.
If it looks like a woman and walks like a woman - it's a man.

Katoeys in Thailand will throw a LOT of action into their walk. Shame when you're walking behind a PERFECT girl with a PERFECT ass and her hips are flung from side to side with much gusto - that's an ex-dude.

I have a friend in Pattaya - VERY sweet girl... except for the dick between her legs. She's been a friend of mine for years and I've taken her outside the bar numerous times - no hanky panky - only friends. We've been to dinner around town, walked the Big C mall and even spent some time in afterhours KTVs. Funny - you can tell the guys that recognize her as a katoey by their look of faint nausea... and see the looks of ENVY from the guys that DON'T realize she's... not really a she. I bring friends to her bar and most just don't realize it, even face-to-face with her. She's one of the hottest dude's I've ever met...

E

Jeezus am I glad I didn't write Hemp's post!!!

Hey Sandman, an addition to your safety comments...
1) I was with a regular who lives in Joao Meriti the other night and she was taking a bus home after we finished. She put her money in her little purse and I insisted no, put it in her panties. Guess what? Waiting for a connection at Rodoviaria, the purse got snatched. A gringo reminding a local paid off.
2) I know another girl who has been robbed and busses to Nilopolis. She takes her money, puts it in a condom, ties it, and puts it in her vagina!

Not claiming to be an expert here, as I am a bonafide member of the accidently made out with a guy club in Thailand, but I had strong suspicions about this one right off the bat. The giveaways? The tits, and especially the face in the first picture.

As allways, when it's to good to be true it ain't.
What are the odds that you will encounter a 'real' woman at Balcony this goodlooking selling her ass for a few bucks. Like -90%, the negative odds indicating that s/he is a 'boneca'.

(Message edited by coats001 on April 19, 2005)

True, very true, the "talent" at Balcony makes the Meia Petaca crew look beautiful. I went in there for a few minutes one night with Tequila Tim and made a fast retreat. That's a rough bunch down on that end of Atlantico.

Travelsrr,

What is a girl from St Joao de Meriti doing taking a bus back at night. She's bound to get hit. My girl lives there too and would take a bus in to Copa and a taxi back home.

Smirker,
As your wingman on your very first trip to a terma I feel kinda responsible for you. It seems that without my influence you have had a 'variety'experience. Ok...tim to slow down and let me know when you are going to be back in rio. I think that I help keep you out of these situations.

On the other hand, you sound like you have done VERY WELL on you trips after your original visit. The ONLY EXCEPTIONS being finding spinners sporting boners after you have taken them home.Uh...friend....you need to work on this. I do have to appreciate you deligence to check every oportunity to get your unit serviced. YOU just gotta check a little closer.

Let me know when you will be in tio again. Gotta help you avoid the nad dangling "girls" there.

Bliss, join me for the week of memorial day. I obviously need a refresher course.

Hemp... I heard that!

GCL - man do you have big ears? From what the Garotas tell me that is all that is big on you??? - Your buddy Hemp

I practically lived in Balcony on that trip. It was October and not many tourists in town so lots of free pussy. I agree that it the selection can be quite skanky there at times though.

In Smirker's defence, apart from her looks, her demeanour helped make her less obvious. IIRC she used to wander in the early morning 1-2am for a short while often with a real girl but rarely sit down. None of the usual signs like exaggerated, loud behaviour or revealing dress. In fact usually just jeans and top dressed more regularly than the GDPs. I'm not even sure she was looking for punters more for guys she knew. I only saw here with two guys who I warned when I got a chance
- One an American appreciated the info but said he'd already realised.
- The other was a Brit whose friend I warned and he told me to fuck off. Not sure if this was
a) We know, so mind your own business and fuck off
b) You're implying we can't tell it's a man so fuck off
c) You're just saying it so you can get this hot chick instead of him so fuck off, or
I'm guessing he got a surpise back in the apt so I had the last laugh.

Down and Up, she has made this trip from my hotel in the past 3 years at least 20 times, never a problem. And in this case, Meriti wasn't the problem either, she got robbed at the Rodoviaria. She could have been going anywhere. Of course if your point is she should not be going anywhere on a bus at night, it is a point well taken. But she, and my friends from Olaria, Campo Grande, and Nilopolis would never spend the money for the cabs, they'd rather take their chances.

Ard, lot's of free buceta at Balcony? Interesting!

Good for you! But, can you go into more details, please? How, when, and with whom, type of garotas?

A mix really, Paulista tourists, GdPs, a Boite girl and a couple of ex-GDPs who were married/being supported.

I tend to be a night creature, eat 10-11pm, head to Terraço around 12-1am, into Help 2-3am. That trip I didn’t go into Help much, I would head up to Balcony after Terraço. Usually had a chat and a batida with the bloke who sells them from a car by Republica de Peru before hitting Balcony for a nightcap at 3-4am. I realise this is way too late for most guys. That time it’s either dregs or girls coming in from Help/boites without a customer. Come 5am the girls are running out of options and more inclined to come back to the apt. till mid afternoon/early evening. This pseudo-GFE suits me more than multiple Termas runs where I find the 40 mins slots a bit quick. One morning I even ended up drinking till 11am with MitchC and a couple of others and went home with a girl who works in Sensoo. Admittedly she wasn’t a stunner but I’ll always take a 7 for free over a 9 for R200.

I think it helped that
a) I became a familiar face and was getting action from girls and subsequently friends of theirs.
b) It was October which means less tourists to snap up girls in Balcony/Help/boites so they’re more likely to take one last run to Balcony.

In short, it was just one of those trips where everything went like a dream. The only disappointment was that Metallica cancelled their concert at the ATL Hall. I even pulled Simone out of Terraco after negotiating her down from R200 to R150. She stayed 12 hours and when leaving said R100 was fine. Where else but Brasil would a GdP give a discount because she had a “nice time”.

On subsequent trips Balcony has been a lot less fruitful with ugly and skanky women when I hit it late but that was during the summer months. These things go in cycle but in general I prefer months on the shoulder of summer season e.g. October and May.

Obrigado Ard, very nice MO. I compliment you!

Personally, I enjoy watching the show at Frank's. And if I don't pick up, I will peruse Balcony a little bit more. Hopefully I will find an out-of-towner Brasilera like you did, or a lonely EX would work too.

I hope our future dreams "cum" thru!

Actually, I stayed until almost 1:00 pm, with skinny girlfriend going beer for beer with me. That was one rough night.

Damn, I would have never guessed this blonde was a dude! Not even a hint, wow, I would have been pissed had I been waiting for her to undress and a package falls out...

The girls at Help have to be carefull. They lie and if in your apartment some will raise an fuss and throw things wanting their money when they lie and only stay a short time. The girls are ugly for the most part at Help. The girls have gone downhill over the years. They move to portugal and europe to make more money. Even during carnaval time, girls from other cities not coming to help like in the past.