I have always believed it is funny to laugh at oneself for the things that invariably happen in our daily lives. I think last night may have been one of the funniest ever, and certainly a first for me;

I have been know to fall asleep in some pretty unusual places. Now, I am not even in the same league with SweetMesquite, who is famous for falling asleep in a taxi in a nano second and has been known to rock the plaster off the walls in some down town termas, or Laredo who can sit on my couch and take a 30 minute power nap (sitting up) while three beautiful girls are sitting closeby, but I have my fair share of sleeping oddities as well.

As my good buddy Don Gringo will attest, I fell asleep in front of a pair of 8' blaring speakers at Casa de Musica in Havana one night while he and three girls sat there and laughed at me; I fell asleep in Help one night in the Brasilian music section while my date (non GDP...she wanted to go!!!) danced in front of me; and yes, I have been known to nap in a relax room or two as well.

So, last night, we are holding a little impromptu B-Day party for my buddy Don Gringo. One of his favoritas, her sister (non GDP), another buddy and one of my regular (non-GDP) GF's (a different one, not my new future ex-wife), are sitting around drinking, laughing, drinking, giving massasges, getting pedicures, dancing, drinking, eating everything in the fridge and having "conversar". Well, my little sweetie grabs my hand and leads me into the bedroom. Normally a little slow to get thingss going, she ripped her clothes off and proceeded to remove mine. We are having very passionate foreplay. Long languishing kisses; lots of groping and I start DATY (she loves it). Here i am munching away, swirling her clit with my tongue and sucking it in between my lips and.....she taps me on the head, calls out my name and asks, "where is the vibrator". Yep, you guessed it. I had fallen soundly asleep while DATY. First time in my life that has ever happened. I handed her the bunny, and while still in a deep (not REM) state of sleep, I roll over to the sound of the vibrator humming.

When I woke up this morning, sporting wood, I recalled the events of last night and just started chuckling. It caused her to stir and she wrinkled up her nose at the invasion of her sleep so early (I am also a notorious early riser). I got out of bed, made some coffee, did a little studying, read the paper and just kept chuckling.

I know, I know. Many of you would give your left nut just to be here and the thought of being so close to what was warming up to be an incredible session, then "He falls asleep????"

Just another day in paradise fellow Hombres. I'll catch up on my losses this morning when she wakes up (probably after she punches me in the arm) and we will giggle about it with our friends over breakfast.

Drizzling today in Rio. Wonder what we can do?

Sandman

I once fell asleep while getting a blowjob. It was last November and was my first day back in Rio. I nutted four times at Luomo and afterwards had dinner with the fav, had sex (5th nut), hung out and then watched the Sunday night NFL game in the hotel room. Towards the end of the 4th quarter, which was about 2:30 AM Rio time, the fav decided to "relax" me. That she did, and she was none to happy when I started snoring while she was still giving head!

How about this: Drinking real heavy at my favorite Club (Gaslite Club - Ohare Airport Chicago) (now closed)I use to live in Chicago. Got real drunk and fell a sleep and woke up in a hotel room in Tampa Florida the next morning. Had no intentions or thoughts of going to Florida as I just started drinking heavy in Chicago starting at lunch. WHAT A FUCKING HANGOVER! and I don't remember anything. - Got a flight and went home back to Chicago. It took me 3 days to recoup from that drunk. Oh yeah I don't drink anymore! - Hemp

I fell asleep while the remarkable Camila of L'uomo was riding me reverse cowboy. I was REALLY REALLY tired, quite obviously.

Safado, that may be the early on best odds for a winning story.....WOW!

She has NEVER let me live that down. Fortunately, she thought it was funny and didn't take it as a commentary on her sexual prowess.

I know it is off-topic countrywise, but falling asleep seems to be a problem with us and the results can be darn-right dangerous, so in the spirit of sharing...

I went to a private club in Bogota with some friends, and we were checking out the action while having some drinks. A girl from Cartagena was being very forward and pushy with me, and I asked her to leave me alone. She went AWOL in the brain, and started swinging, with some of the girl holding her back. She was shouting that I the reason I wouldn't go with her was that I was racist. I started yelling back that I wasn't racist, and that I merely had to go to work early the next day, blah, blah...

While all this is going on, this set of gorgeous eyes is staring me down from the booth on the other side. I couldn't see anything other than the top of her head and those incredible fucking eyes that made me hard just by looking at them. I sent over a drink, and asked the waiter to eye her down and give me a report. He comes back, says she is a very beautiful girl, and that she thanks me for the drink. Most excellent indeed. I motion her to come over and join us...

She's a midget! She's a fucking midget!!! Man, she is about, um, 2 1/2 feet tall. Betrayed by my trusty man-servant! I have never, um, been with the height challanged before, and I am sure they are great people too - but this is freaking me out. If a girl from Cartagena goes Jackie Chan on my ass for rejecting her, what is the dwarf gonna do to me? I decided not to chance it...

We go ahead and get the room in the back. Wow, the MPM (muscles per millimeter) on this midget is amazing - she could put a whoopin' on me, I am sure of this. She pushed me back, and started giving me BBBJ, if my memory serves me well, a really good one too... I think the aguardiente started setting in and I started fading away, drifting off...

Son of a bitch! I woke up to a searing pain coming from my groin! What the fuck is happening!?!?! I looked down, and there is another woman giving me BBBJ, and she ripping me up with her teeth - she doesn't even care... And why would/should she care when the midget is sitting on her back, jamming her face onto my dick, slapping her in the head.

It's the cleaning lady - that's just fucking wonderful. The nice old lady in the hall that changes the sheets somehow has made it into the room, and is being forced to give me really bad head by a dominant midget with really good muscle tone and sexy eyes. What have I gotten myself into?

I stood up and started putting on my clothes very rapidly. She is asking what is wrong, saying don't worry about the money, just please tip the lady and the doorman, and she is trying to give me her mobile number. Riiiiiight. I head back into the bar, and it is dead! Nobody but the bartender remains - no sign of my friends, nothing. I remember it was around "midnightish" when we went to the back - it is now 3:00 AM.

Aguardiente, girl from Cartagena, midget, maid, doorman, freebie, 03:00, Bogota - this isn't good, and obviously I am no longer in control. One of my friends back home says I am nuts. But he works at Best Buy and has never had a midget before...

Be careful out there...

I feel asleep while performing DATY on a young lady in Moscow. The reason I fell asleep was she doped my drink. I woke up with a kick in the ribs by a large man with a knife, and then this writer fool and his money were soon parted. Falling asleep with a favorita or in a termas is fine, but boy be careful otherwise. If you're tired, forget it and get the hell out.

Def-You are putting a hurting on Safados chances....what an experience!

Defcon, that's one of the greatest stories ever! You have my vote for 1st ballot hall of fame.

Ok, then, here's another sleeping story - this time on topic...

About two-three years ago I was in Rio, and I wasn't feeling very well. I had a case of that famous Rio sore throat that everyone gets once in a while. Some fellow CHers talked me into going to Monte Carlo, and I justified it rather than bed rest because, well, it is technically bed rest, and I was going to get a massage too.

So we are in the disco in Monte Carlo, and there is this blonde who bothering me. Don't you hate when beautiful women just throw themselves at you? The hussies... I think the reason Moondog and I get along so well is that we are not in competition - I HATE blondes and he loves them. I am sure they are really nice people, but my first wife was blond, and I think I am scarred for life. It's all in my head, I know - but I just can't bring myself to go with anyone other than a brunette or redhead, or even a bald punker chick before I could be dragged kicking and screaming to a blonde's cabine.

But through some small talk, she seems to be a really nice girl, and even though I am very firm and flat-out "there ain't no way in hell I am going up with you honey" she is still hanging out with me on a very busy night. After an hour or so, since I was going to get a massage anyway, so I told her that I would get a massage from her instead - that way she could make some reals, and I would get a massage from a better looking, albeit platinum blonde. She promises me more, but I keep insisting that this will be the easiest 150 reals she's ever made.

When we get to the cabine, she goes into the bathroom, to do whatever blondes at the Monte Carlo do, I suppose. Then I had a stroke of genius; I would pretend to fall alseep! That way, she would eventually get bored and wake me when she couldn't stand it any more, and because we'd be rushed at that point, she could give me a quickie massage and "viola," done deal. The problem was, in the process of pretending to fall asleep, I actually fell asleep.

Again, I wake up, but this time, it is to the strange feeling of something shooting up my (most precious virgin) asshole. I froze like a deer in the headlights. Hey, it's not very rigid, and it is pretty moist and even warm. It's her tongue!! Ewwww!!! After all the rejection, the mechanical process, and hiring her for something other than what wants to do - all she really wanted was to stick her tongue up daddy's ass. God bless her. Excuse me, I am tearing up a little.

We then proceeded to have the best, full out, pit bull on crack sex I've ever had in Brasil. After we dressed, I zoomed out of there - knowing full-well that if I stayed I would fall for a Blonde GDP, which we all know is like buying a ticket on the Titanic, but more expensive.

Again, later that night, my friends bugged me to go to Help, even though I was suffering with the throat thing. Plus, you guys know, after three days of Rio at full speed, you gotta have some down time... I was in bad shape, but decided to join them, if only outside at the cafe to watch the passionate masses file past into the belly of the beast. And then I saw saw her. She was standing in line, waiting to get into Help. My little 1984 blond convertible with the raisin salad paint job. But is wasn't meant to be - she was some Italian dude...

And they were...

KISSING

EWWWW!!!

(Message edited by defconsul on December 12, 2004)

This is not about falling asleep during, but after. Just to be fair to Defconsul, the photo shows that it is not always a blonde. I was feel a bit down one night, as the girls thought I needed some cheerng up, so they took me to a love hotel in Sao Paulo. It was an awesome place, and these two girls had there way with me, but shortly afterwards, I realized I had fallen asleep for about 40 minutes. Good thing I was friends with both of them, as they got a laugh out of it.

although defconsul has some good stories no doubt..for someone to fall asleep with the great one is unheard of..she still keeps me awake from 2 years ago and 5000 miles away...

I agree, Layne, going to sleep while The Black Widow is riding you is, at best, a severe waste of money and pleasure and, at worse, well, who knows what she could have done to get back at him!

I wonder if she can still make any man fall in love with her in a single day?

I should have noted that I had flown in on the red eye that day, and that I fell asleep during hour #2 with the BW. Still, to this day I find it hard to believe that I fell asleep while within a Rio city block of her.

Cat, all you have to do is see her walking down the street with her hubby and baby(in stroller). she looks as great as ever and the lust never wanes.....Eh Layne?

I seen her walking down the street last month with her hubby and baby and "Oh my God" she looks fantastic. Her hubby is a great guy and a friend of mine but "Oh my God" - Hemp

Hemp I assume that means I can count on you to look out for my wife while I'm not in Rio? If she needs a place to stay would you put her up at your apartment for me? Thanks Hemp - you're a gem.

DeeG - you know I'll watch out for your wife (yeah right)! - Anything for a friend! - Merry Christmas DG - Hemp