my goal on my recent trip to brasil was to see if i could get rid of two wives; one a real brasilan wife and the second my wife upon arrival in rio.....

as a parting gift to my current wife; (i do not believe she still needs me though, married 7 years) is her u.s. citizenship. i believe she can do this on her own even if we are divorced.

i am still amazed at some of the questions on the N400 application.

are you a prostitute???? let me think about this...aren't all women????

have you ever tried to overthrow a government by force??? yep it is on the form...

were you part of the nazi party???

i love this one: have you ever committed a crime in which you were not arrested???

etc.

-My Attachment- for report.pdf (1586.5 k)

I kind of liked

Have you ever been a member of any association, fund, etc?

How's about my third grade class. Is that not an association?

Man, Wallstreet getting married, and you getting divorced...is that for real?

No more ugly handbags?

my recent trip for labor day weekend was funny....i talked about it for a while with my wife, kept my eye on the tickets, booked my hotel, but never ticketed the air......finally on the 29th of august, my wife looks at me and asks when i am going? naturally, i tell her i am not going to rio......she is taken back and trys to tell me that she knows i already booked my air.....so i look at her and fire up the computer and tell her to book my air....guess what.....she books my air for out on the 30th and returning on the 5th september....

everything was fine until i returned on the 5th......on the over the pond flight was a cute brasilera girl sitting one row in front of me and in the F seat, i was in a D seat....we never exchanged any words or looks on this flight....

i arrive in houston and had about 40 minutes to hit the club, shower, shave and get to my next flight to detroit.....

i get stuck with bulkhead window seat (wtf is gold elite worth, i have never been upgraded, now i am 1300 miles short of plat..so what). I have to climb over this fat old man (sounds like myself and half of this board) to get to my seat. this guy would not even get up.......well just before they close the cabin doors, guess who boards the plane and takes the "b" seat next to me....and she is crying......

well, being the sucker that i am, i ask her what the problem is......she tells me that she is married to this high level exec at xyz.....been married for only 10 months, did not have her green card yet, and he called her and told her that he was going to cancel her green card....she arrived in rio on friday sept 2 was supposed to stay until nov and because of this flew back to the u.s. on the next available flight, monday the 5th.

i asked her, since she did not have her green card yet...she had to get permission from ins to leave the u.s., which she did and showed me the paperwork.......
i also, explained she was still married...you cannot get a divorce overnight....(i know, my last one took 3 years to get through the court systems....fucking lawyers.....did i spell that right....let me try again FUCKING MONEY HUNGRY LAWYERS.., now i feel better) (I concluded during my last divorce, that your wife can fuck the entire detroit lions football team and the man still takes it up the ass).

anyway, we talked the entire way back to detroit....i gave her my wifes cell phone number in case she wanted to talk to another brasilian...i did not give her my number and i did not take hers...HONEST.....

we land in detroit.....i could not go the bathroom during the flight...i did not want to climb over everyone...so i tell her i am going into the world club to use a clean bathroom and if she wanted to come, relax for a minute have a coffee while our bags work their way to the baggage claim area she was welcome.

about 10-15 minutes later, we start walking to baggage claim...we go down the escalator together...walk over to the baggage area and i do not see my bags, i turn to walk to the co claim office, then turn back and see my wife standing there with my bags (i drove myself to the airport and parked my car, she wanted to see if i came off the plane with anyone)......


any other questions.....i still have not heard the end of this......"you went to brasil with her"........

the chinese may have the water torture trick, but the brasilians have this sleep deprivation method to make us talk.....

so as for ugly hand bags........do you want to see the valentini shoes she just bought.....

to be continued, i am working on the pics......

as for my other wife.....well she went back to work and is now available.....come on help her out...she needs the money.....same uncle died again and do you know how expensive funerals are in brasil....

Diversity, her husband might have a really good reason for wanting to cancel her green card. Its staggering how many women go to Brasil "to visit family" and end up right in Help/Meia Pataca their very first night!! Something doesnt add up. She is only married for 10 months and she is already headed to Brasil for a 3 month stay? hmmmmmm....

The INS application asks, "have you ever been a member of ... The Communist party?" That's a bit out of date. Was this written by McCarthy?