THE SHRINK STORY – OR HOW TO NEGOTIATE YOUR RIO TRIP WITH YOUR WIFE

(I told this story to Jaguar and other CH members on Copacabana beach in January, they thought it was interesting, and asked me to tell it here. Hope it is interesting for you others too.)


“You will never go to Rio again”!

If you wake up, bathed in sweat, because of this bad dream, then consider yourself lucky!

I heard these words live, loud and clear, when my wife informed me about what’s not going to happen in my future.

So how did I get into this situation?

Let’s start with just a little piece of history:

I was in Rio 25 years ago, it was nice, but not as good as now. There was no internet then, no CH, no Bwana Dik Rio Guide, no HELP, and probably no termas
(if there were, we didn’t know about them). There basically were the restaurants on Avenida Atlantica, which were OK, but it was not as good as now.

Three years ago I rediscovered Rio, I was “allowed” to go there for my 50th birthday. Then – of course- I caught Rio Fever and have been going there almost twice per year,
not to the delight of the wife, but she accepted it.

UNTIL she discovered an E-mail, which for some reason was not deleted, or which bounced, whatever, in our laptop (each really should have their own!), where she discovered a message from me to my favorita morena, an E-mail full of “Eu espero que vocę seja feliz”, “Veja-o logo”, and “Muitoos beijooooooooooos”.


OK, that was it! Finito! No mas Rio!

Fortunately, however, we have a shrink, who sometimes mediates within the “happy couple”, and she sent me to him – “to get rid of my sex obsession”.

So THAT was the shrink’s main work – to cure me of my sex obsession.

Now it happens that he is a very nice man, in his late 50s, who just recently had the misfortune that his wife of 14 years changed the locks at his house, so he is dumped and in divorce proceedings. In fact he usually goes to HIS shrink right after our sessions.

Clearly HE needs some help, so I told him about the mulheres quentes in Rio, and that he maybe should join me on a future trip, if – IF – I myself would be going.

So, he became a negotiator on my behalf, and after a few sessions with my wife he eked out a “deal” where I am now allowed to go to Rio once per year, no hard feelings.

I had to promise not to get too involved with each garota, basically I had to agree to “quantity” over “quality”. No emotional attachment, no E-mails, no phone calls, no electronic beijoooooos! Sure…..

(So now I have a hotmail account and a phone card – I should have gotten these earlier.)

The up side – I explained – is that my wife would not have to be worried about any local affairs, since I will screw by brains out during my 14 days each year in Rio (please note – I had to “define” one trip per year as one trip per calendar year, maximum 2 weeks).

The shrink, by the way, chickened out, and is not coming to Rio with me. But, as some of you who met me in January surely can vouch for, I neither missed him nor needed him one bit!

So to all of you I met in January this year, if things stay the same, I envy the frequency of your Rio visits, but I will be there again – next year, in January, in EARLY January, I can’t wait!


EPILOGUE:

I met a nice guy, Peter, at The Office in Rio in January (he is not a CH guy), and I complained that there were no Portuguese speaking people in my small town, only Spanish speaking. He asked me where I live? In Santa Fe, New Mexico, I said.

“Well, I happen to know some hot brasileiras in your town, I can introduce you to some of them”.

Now, did I like that idea, or what?

A few days after I came back from Rio in late January, this lovely brasileira calls me, we had at a blind date, we met, I liked her a lot (she is a 33 year old from Bahia, a model), she had that sexy aura and that fantastic smile, and she liked me too!
We are having a lot of fun together…

So, after my return from Rio, and after my first date with my Santa Fe brasileira, I had this follow up session with my shrink, where I tell him about how “well things are going”.

His reply, and I’m not making this up: “I’d rather council an Al-Queda member, who has a bomb west around his waist, about quality of life”.

Skisandy's Photo

Photo: Muitos beijoooooos

Skisandy,

Great meeting you in Rio in January. 14 days of freedom aint bad = 4% per year. Hope to see u on your next trip. Nice pic! - LB

Hi LB,
Yes - I guess 4% is better than 0%! Nice meeting you too, and hope to see you again also. Besides the garotas, of course, it was really great to meet all the CH guys! If all goes as planned, I will be there again in January 07 (I am working on these damn frequent flyer seats right now).
Andy

Skisandy,

You told this story better on the board than you did on the beach; I love it. Moreover, I suggest you put any member that requests it in touch with your shrink-- he's a "National Treasure."

Wolf, my fucking shrink who's also my neighbor, is at the opposite end of the spectrum, if you know what I mean. You are so damn lucky and you know it.

I'll make it a point to schedule a trip during your annual jaunt, just let me know the dates. By the way, Gabriel says hello. I saw her in Help every night during Carnival.

Jag

I've never met or heard of a person who had a shrink until I started reading the posts about Rio. I don't know what to make of it.

if you come to rio you can fire your shrink and wife too if you still have one.

There are plenty of psychologist mongers floating around Rio. They're probably only second to anesthesiologists in the number of medical/quasi-medical professions of guys on the Rio scene. Most of what the psychologist right though is complete bullshit, at least the stuff they post here

Wow! That is unbelievable. A great story.

I figured out that my wife knows. Like Diversity's, she looks the other way. Thank god, I have enough sense to use phone cards and secret e-mail accounts!

Some additional tips for you married scondrels: remember to use *67 feature to make yourself an unidentified caller; don't use the cell - it shows incoming and outgoing calls on your monthly bill; finally, never get a brazilian cell phone so your wife can find you from the states.

I learned these lessons the hard way! But, still going to Brazil 3 to 4 times a year!

Next time I am there, I will be with one of my best friends. I did not want to ruin him, but the last time two times he was here he went to termas. Since he ruined himself, I can know feel comfortable about bringing him to the dark side.

Cat,
Not all psychologists are clinical psychologists. Please don't conflate the terms. What percent of what I write is complete bullshit?

I was actually thinking about Skull Jockey, but if you feel the post replies to you as well........