A little known fact is that you can request a "prato fixo" at most Kilo's. Generally the popular Kilo places in Ipanema and Copa are expensive compared to other places in Rio and going the fixed plate route is cheaper. I like both Frontera (Ipanema) and Siqueira Grill in Copa. At Siqueira Grill at fixed plate is about R$29 and at Frontera around $R33. All you can eat...as many trips back as you want. Does not include sushi and deserts.

I think the buffet price at Kilograma is R$28 or so. You don't get desert included.

Personally, for a couple of reals more, you can go to Carretao and have a much better meal, unless you really want to load up on veggies or pastas or something.

Cat,

after going to Carretao and watching you and Diversity consume enough food to feed two villages I doubt if they will be in business much longer. When the waiter tries to remove your personal bottle of ketshup I think he was trying to tell you something!
Diversity swears he hasn't eaten anything since, how about you?
Two camels going accross the world of life......

At least we didn't eat with our hands.

It was only my onion rings....I can't believe they use their knives and forks for EVERYTHING.
Hell, I 'm surprized they even eat pussy w/o a knife and fork!
That's what an education does for ya............

CFK,
You've never watched a brasileira eat a sandwich? Notice that unless she's a favelada, she'll always hold it in a napkin and never touch it directly. I can't recall ever having seen a brasileira touch what she's eating, other than my salami

Bwana,

now that you mention it........

I do believe the trouser trout IS the only thing they eat with the help of their hands.

It's all so confusing.....make the age old problem of which fork to use for the salad mute.

There was a whole sequence of CFK fuckups that night that definitely shed some new light on his real estate fiasco. I always wondered how he fell for that scam, now I wonder why he only fell for it once.

At MC he kept asking the same garota if she wanted a drink. We all know that you may ask one time, just to be polite, and usually just offer to guy a beer or a juice or tea or coca water or something. Never keep pushing that clip shit, it's a sign of a marke. Anyways, after saying no about five times she finally gave into his charms and proceeded to buy a round of Red Bulls for I think every garota in sight and a R$14 mini-can of Pringles. Who knows what else, CFK got to the point that he was just handing his key around to whoever wanted it. When we were leaving he was examining his bill, which was so long they had to replace the receipt tape in the cash register. I had to leave when he tried to parse the bill, I figured at that point it didn't matter. I didn't see any real estate closing documents or life insurance policy apps but I'm sure that had they been proferred, he would have signed with a smile.

Other things he did - drank directly from a can, drank directly from a bottle, when giving a foot massage to a garota (the massage was so bad afterwards she had to request multiple times that I give her a foot massage to relieve the pain from CFK's) he put her shoes on the table and not the floor. Basically, a ton of stuff that seasoned wool-pulling Rio vets know causes garotas to scream internally in silence.

CFK needs to stick to Villa Mimose, though I fear that his lack of social grace would still stand out even there. Perhaps the Rio branch of the Helen Keller Institute would be the only socially safe place for CFK to hang.

Oh, and he actually speaks less Portuguese than both Hemp and Sweet. Can't even say hello - it's sad, just sad.

Cat I want you to know when I left Rio my Portuguese vocabulary was up to 6 words but I can't remember which ones?? - Obradaaadguo! - Hemp

Hemp, thnaks for your support!

In my own defense, only 90% of what Cat says is true........

I guess placing the shoes on the table was over the top, but she did have nice feet!

CFK - Not to worry as Cat is jealous of guys like you and me who can win them with our charm and good looks! Oh by the way how many words does Jaguar know except for "more dollars" and he does very well. Well a few gifts here and there does help but he is also very charming and smooth. - Thanks Hemp

Hemp,

Sign language--that's my secret. BTW, I'm up to about eight words.

Jag

And he would definitely know what makes all garotas scream internally in silence.

Itasca,

I know how to make them moan also, does that count for anything?

I mean cmon, I can still eat pizza with my fingers and make them scream internally, and moan externally, or is it the other way around...or do I first wash the pizza off my fingers and then..
oh forget it.

I remember Dougie (Sweet) with all the time he was in Rio and limited Portuguese was the best when it came to giving Taxi's directions to Termas and back to his apartment. He had a lot of practice - RIP Dougie - Hemp

Hemp,

when I got into the taxis with Doug he would tell the driver in Portuguese where to take us; then about two minutes into the ride he would go to sleep (take his power nap) and I always feared we would never end up at the right location. Naturally I had my head "out the window" like a dog looking for familiar locations until I was sure we were going in the correct direction.
Mysteriously, or excellent timeing (?) he always awoke about 1-2 blocks from our destination, looked at me, and was ready for the next adventure or whatever we were doing....I on the other hand always tried to hide the look of relief, and would just act like everything was fine(which I guess it was, but not w/o concern)
P.S. tonight I am going over to his resturant for dinner....

CFK,

Yeah, Sweet pulled that same stunt on me about twenty time before I wised up.

Jag

Other things he did - drank directly from a can, drank directly from a bottle

To paraphrase GCL

"They will lick your asshole and come up smiling, but they won't drink coke from a can"

Knockkneedman

you clearly understand how confusing it all can be...........thanks for your defense of my actions!