Just got back from 9 glorious days in Rio. It was my third trip down there, but it was the first time I had met the crew from this board.

As a whole, just a phenomenal group of guys.

Additionally, it is a whole new experience reading reports on this board now that I have met some of the main mongers. The GCL reports, for example, have so much more texture, since my mind started attaching GCL's distinct accent and rapier-like dry wit to his scripture.

I only wish I had asked for more Hombre Handles. I'd like to give some folks their due, but I only know their real names.

In a future post, I intend to report on the trip in general - particularly on the graciousness and camaraderie fostered by Don of Rio Trips and by GCL.

I'll go into it more at a later time, but I would sincerely recommend Don's services for any Rio newbie. I continually saw all the things that Don and GCL were doing for the first timers and was very impressed. Don just runs a great program and wants everyone to have the best trip possible - kind of like Summer Camp with hookers.

I'll leave this abbreviated post with a little quiz for the Thanksgiving crew. See if you can match the quote with the monger who uttered it. The first one who gets them all correct probably was not drinking enough.

1. "I would definitely sleep with her if I were still doing blondes. I don't do blondes any more, you know."
2. "I heard that you were with my Missus last night."
3. "Martinis are like tits. One’s not enough and three are too many."
4. "God Bless South ‘merica."
5. "Ambiens are a must if you’re flying to Rio."
6. "I mean, really big tits."
7. "I quit my job, so I can focus on what’s truly important."
8. (Any quote about being in serious trouble because yesterday’s girl saw him kiss today’s girl)
9. "100 Reals to take her back to the hotel?!! It’s worth it just to see her tits."
10. "Let me explain why picking up my bar tab would be bad for the both of us. You see that bottle of Johnny Walker Blue over there? I’ll polish that off by 9:30. Then it’s on to your JW Black."

(These answers are not in order, you alcoholics. Match the correct letter to the numbered quote.)

A. Hombrecito
B. GCL
C. Dino
D. CortoGringo
E. Don
F. GCL
G. Gatorhunter
H. Don
I. Mitch C
J. GCL


Give it a shot. Answers will be forthcoming if no one goes 10 for 10.

Wow. Would hate to even guess what JW Blue runs in Rio.

don --#2,3 maybe 10

Gcl- 1, 7, and hmmm also 4 possibly along with 10.

mithchc- 6 or 9

cortogringo- 8

hombrecito -5

havent met the other boys yet....

Gatorhunter, When you post your report I hope we get to see that spectacular set of tits you pulled out of the terrace--I believe she is the one associated with quote #9 "100 Reals to take her back to the hotel?!! It’s worth it just to see her tits". Trust me guys, they were unreal looking. Gator (and Dino) have radar for good tits. And when Gator spots a set you have never seen such a focused individual. It warmed my heart so see him work.

I like the quotes--I wish I had said more of them myself.

Hey,
I like Johnny Walker, Big Tits, Ambien, South America, Don's Missus, quiting work, and I do like blondes. What the F*** Layne, process of elimination.

Nice hanging out with you GH.

CG

GH;
I believe every one of our crowd said,stuttered,
or slurred every one of those quotes at sometime
during our trip with the exception of # 1 which
was stated by the exclusionary GCL.
Unfortunately i don't drink at all so i'm the least
likely to say anything witty.
Besides i had my head so far up the "Booger Eaters"
rear end the only thing i could clearly hear were
intestinal noises.

Travellersn picked the Boog out of Don Juan and promptly ate her.

I think I was #9-I remember seeing her and you said 100R which seemed low-that's when I commented on her tits. That turned out to be $100, but then you talked her down some, didn't you?

GCL is #1 and probably #5.

I'm not sure about the rest.

Number 1 and 7 are gems, a playwrights' dream lines. May I have author's permission to utilize when I wish to be witty?

You'll have to ask GCL for the rights to those to and to #5 (though everyone repeated that one).

#2 - used by many; double hearsay in this case - Mitch C, I believe, was the culprit.

The incomparable Don had me cracking up with #3 & #10.

#4 is mine - paraphrasing a redneck I knew in college.

#6 is Dino. If I wrote "Seus grande," it would have been me.

Sorry CG, but Layne had you pegged on number 8. You were definitely the big heartbreaker this past trip. It must be tough being universally adored.

Hombrecito - you were on the mark, except that initially she said 50 - meaning 50 dollars (approximately 180R). I just kept saying no until she got down to 100R. That's when you kicked in with the zinger.

I didnt realize anyone was taking notes, or I would have said something more memorable. Most of these quotes have a familiar ring to them, but as Im still on a sexual hangover from Rio, my mental functioning's still not back to normal. I believe that GCL uttered 2 5 & 9. #s 3 & 7 sound like Don.