I started this thread at the suggestion of Hombre Keeper in the hopes that it would encourage other board members to post accounts of experiences in which unfamiliarity with Brazilian cultural customs, norms and etiquette may have given way to uncomfortable or embarrassing social situations.

I should preface by saying that although I have a tendency to occasionally overindulge with alcohol when I’m partying, during the entirety of events described here I was clear-headed and sober.

On the last full day of my recent trip to Rio, I was invited to go to a discotech by a GDP from Solarium. It was a Saturday night and I met her outside on the street corner as the place was closing. Thus began a sequence of events that was both enjoyable and nerve-wracking at the same time.

I was already out of my comfort zone as I stood on that street corner at midnight. Garotas filed out of the club one by one, and several were gathered around waiting for the bus or hailing cabs to go home. Outside the controlled environment of the club where tourists often outnumber locals and where hospitality and safety are essentially taken for granted, all notions of fitting in or somehow blending in with the pavement fled my mind’s embrace.

Yours truly stood out like a sore thumb while my GDP host and her girlfriend arranged our transportation. I understand very little Portuguese and was feeling more awkward by the minute as the two girls discussed their plans with each other and with the cab driver. Before long we threw our bags in the trunk and climbed into the cab. A few minutes later as we got on the freeway, I noticed that the cabby’s meter was shut off. This seemed ominous to me.

I was preoccupied and my mind was reeling during the cab ride as I imagined possible nightmare scenarios. What if they ditch me? How will I find my way home when I don’t even know where we’re headed and I don’t speak the local language? What if they keep me out into the wee hours? My flight was leaving the next day, and we all know what a grueling trip that is. Is this cabby going to extort some kind of heinous fare out of me, or am I actually being kidnapped? And what in hell are these people talking about right now, anyway?

My GDP host had assured me the discotech was no more than 30 minutes away from Solarium, but the ride actually took at least 45 minutes on the freeway. I can’t remember the name of the club, but it was way the hell north of Copa and the place itself was stadium-sized. Later I was told that it is the biggest disco in Rio.

By the time we made our way inside the club, I started to relax a bit. My host and her girlfriend were suddenly very hospitable, asking me quite often if I was okay and if I liked the music. My host’s girlfriend even fetched drinks for the three of us.

The place was packed to the rafters and there was standing room only. Behind us there was a table with a dozen empty beer cans stacked on it, and there was a group of girls gathered on one side of the table who presumably put them there.

At some point I became aware that my jaw was getting sore and my chewing gum had long since lost its flavor. I don’t normally chew gum – I prefer to chew whole cloves instead. But I had run out of cloves and readily took the gum when my escort offered it an hour earlier. Now the gum was stale and I wanted rid of it.

Wow – it sure was crowded in there. Where’s the trash bin? I didn’t see a trash can anywhere. Maybe if there had been a trash bin in the vicinity, people might have even been conscientious enough to put their empty bottles, cans and plastic cups in it. But there was no trash bin to be found.

Now, I don’t consider myself to be boorish or rude. On the contrary, I consider myself to be fairly well mannered. I’ve even been told the same. So without a second thought, I picked up one of the empty beer cans on the adjacent table and – without bringing my lips into contact with said can – swiftly and discretely spit my gum into it and set it back on the table.

What followed next was the most preposterous social display I have ever witnessed. I had already turned around to watch the live band on stage when I noticed that my escorts were apparently distracted by something taking place behind me. I turned around to face three or four angry girls brandishing index fingers and yelling at me in Portuguese. Huh? What’s going on? What did I do? I wasn’t playing dumb; I really didn’t know what they were yelling about.

Eventually I realized that they were pointing at me and at the can that I had used as a receptacle for my stale gum. It still took a second or two to register. Was there still beer in there? No, of course not. I even picked it up again just to make sure. It was only when my host pantomimed spitting into a can that I realized my mistake.

My chagrinned hosts apologized effusively on my behalf to the agitated girls. And almost as quickly as it had erupted, the confrontation was diffused. I felt like a real asshole. I offered to buy the affronted girls drinks as a conciliatory gesture, but they politely (even kindly) refused. What the hell was that all about, anyway?

For some reason the girls must have been offended that I treated their rubbish so disrespectfully. Perhaps they were going to take the cans home to add to a collection. Maybe they were going to wait until the end of the evening to suck the last few drops out of the bottoms of the cans. I honestly don’t know why such a trivial thing was so offensive to them except to suggest that perhaps any act of ‘spitting’ indoors – even if it’s not bodily humors or tobacco that is being expelled – is absolutely grotesque to them. They might also have been territorial, and were therefore incensed that I would mess with something on ‘their’ table. Surely some more experienced member of this board can illuminate this enigma for me. But either way, lesson learned.

So on the very last full day of my trip, I had quite an exhilarating experience. I made it back to my apartment safely that night in spite of my stupidity. The cab fare, to my relief, ended up being very reasonable. Actually, that night wasn’t the first occasion during my trip that I learned firsthand why it is better to be lucky than it is to be smart.

Maybe this entry should have been posted in the Trip Reports section, but it is really an abridged report. I wanted to highlight this particular experience because I think it demonstrates how disillusioning it can be being immersed in a foreign culture when you are woefully unfamiliar with the language and customs of the locals. I hope it isn’t too long-winded.

It sounds like you went to Via Show, if you went 45 minutes or so by freeway and had a live band. How much was the cab fare? You mention an adjacent table? Were you on the main floor, or the second floor?

Throwing trash and trash cans on the floor is no big deal, that pretty much happens everywhere. Picking up anything from someone elses table, however, would appear to be the rude part....not the act of putting gum or spitting into a can. Even the can was empty, picking it up from the other table - then spitting into it - and placing the can right back on their table....well, that is rude by any standard. At last to me!

If you had spit into your own empty can, or one from your table or GDP friends, there would have been no issue

Cab fare was somewhere around $90R for the round trip.

I think it must have been Via Show based on your description. There were two levels, and the second level was essentially a wide catwalk overlooking the main floor and stage.

I was puzzled because the table wasn't really 'theirs'. No one appeared to have claim to the table because no one was seated there. Simply standing in the vicinity of the table did not give them territorial privilege in my opinion, especially considering the density of the crowd. Those cans might have even been orphaned there by someone else for all I know.

I think it would have been far more impolite and uncivilized to simply spit the gum on the floor...but perhaps that's the Brazilian way. Next time I'll just swallow it.

If this was back in September, you went to Via Show with Doris, unless I have you confused with someone else. You're from Pittsburg?

Elementary Dr. Watson! Sherlock Holmes has nothing on you Cat.

Overall Brazilian's have a much more easy going nature and everything goes type of attitude.... even in difficult situation, the right look and gesture can pretty much diffuse anything.

It is all about respect - if you disrepect someone, or even if you did not and they feel disrepected, it is just best to smile and say you are sorry. Not necessarily with words, but with actions (i.e smile & shruck of shoulder, for example). As long as you are not confrontational, they forgive easily.

Spitting gum on the floor certainly would not be cool anywhere, but I still think the dirty look was because you grabbed the can from the table the girls were standing at. Just by the vincity, they would have assumed it was their table and most likely it was...or they were using it.

Just thank god you didn't order a sandwich and picked it up without a napkin. The shit would have really hit the fan then.

I still eat pizza in Rio with my fingers, I don't care what Cat or Diversity think

The water soaked breadcrumbs are delicious, thank you.

CFK

I was about to say, eating pizza in Brasil is bad enough but if you were to, I don't know how you would actually pick it up with it falling apart.

Then again, you routinely break every table etiquette rule they have down there. Putting shoes on a table, eating shit with your hands, drinking straight from cans and bottles. You're just dirty.

Cat,

Good manners and proper etiquette are at the very core of how we communicate with one another - fuck you!

CFK

Cat:

Correct on all counts. I joined the board shortly after returning from that trip. Now I can finally put a face on the famous handle.

Thanks for the pointers while I was there. You're the only person who troubled himself to explain basic Brazilian etiquette to me...specifically about not drinking beer from the can or bottle and picking up sandwiches with a napkin.

Lovingmarvin:

I think you're probably right. I just didn't realize that those girls had claimed the table.

But I don't think the same situation played out in a stateside club would have created such a scene. I've already been at clubs where guys have picked up my empties and used them as a cuspidor. Then again, I do live in redneck country.

Shouldn't there be a rule though that if a country wants you to eat sandwiches or pizza with a napkin, they provide napkins and not cheap unusable imitations?

And while we're at it, having salt and pepper shakers would be nice instead of damp wads of salt in little packets and no pepper at all?

Laguy,
If you think about the design of those napkins, they are perfect for the task, in essence a barrier between the sandwich and you. They do not stick to the food or to you, they are thin sheets of wax paper. As far as their ability to clean you up, I would have to say they don't do zip.

So you want the real thing, Laguy, like they have in BKK?

CG is right, Laguy. We use napkins to clean the food off our hands. They use those wax napkin-shaped shields to keep the food off their hands! The problem comes when you want to wipe the food off your lips.

I suppose at that point you have to lean over and DFK your namorada.

Speaking of etiquette, if you're in a dupla, do you guys always remember to swap out your rubber for a new one when you switch garotas?

If you're not using a rubber, do you wipe your dick down as you switch out?

Also, when I've done bareback anal, I've found the girls don't even hesitate on the ass-to-mouth CIM finish. Where does that fall on the etiquette rulebook?

The old joke "why does a dog lick your face? Because it just licked its asshole" - does that explain some of the DFK that goes on in the boite?

Finally, let's say you're at L in the relax room, getting a courtesy handjob from a garota while waiting for a cabine to open up, and the food buffet comes out. Is it polite to get a plate of food and then sit back down for a bit more rub and tug, or is that a social faux pas?

Here's all Wikipedia has on Brasil etiquette. CFK should update the site. Note the part about giving gifts to the opposite sex can be misinterpreted as a romantic gesture. I guess we shouldn't pay?

Brazil

* Brazilians are less sensitive to comments and terms that may be deemed as racist in American culture, like saying that asians have slanted eyes, using the term japa(jap) to refer to an asian, negao (big nigger), polaco(polish) etc
* Brazilians speak Portuguese, not Spanish. Addressing someone that speaks Portuguese in Spanish may be considered very offensive[5][6].
* In Brazil, a form of the American "okay" gesture may be obscene when directed at someone. However, the standard "okay" gesture is also used, as is the "thumbs up" gesture.[7]
* The gesture of "flipping someone off" by hitting the wrist against the inside of the elbow (sometimes called "a banana" in Brazil) is considered playful and not very offensive (in some other parts of the world, this is more akin to "the finger"). [7]
* Giving someone of the opposite gender a gift may be misinterpreted as a romantic overture. [8]
* When offering something, especially food, Brazilians will often repeat the offer several times and with increasing enthusiasm. Offering something only once can be rude. It is not impolite to refuse such offers, and in some cases they may be made just to be polite without really hoping a person will accept.
* In some parts of the country, most notably in rural areas in which homes may not have doorbells, the appropriate action is to stand in the yard and clap one's hands. If no one comes to the door, then the visitor may approach the door, knock, and then step back away from the door and await a response. This is especially applicable in regards to small, thin-walled cottages that offer less privacy than homes in North America.[7]
* People in Brazil use to be very receptive and not formal. Calling a young woman "Senhora" may be considered offensive. The word "Senhorita" (lit. little miss) is not used and is seen as an archaism.
* Punctuality is not taken too seriously in Brazil. Showing up exactly on schedule for a party is very uncommon.

Maybe I just don't understand Brasilian thinking, but isn't there something incongruous with insisting that sandwiches be picked up only with napkins but having no problem with ass-to-mouth CIM? I mean even if someone had their fingers up their butt before picking up their sandwiches without napkins are they really that much worse off than if they had Catocony's dick in their mouth immediately after it had been in their ass?

And may I suggest Catocony should update the Wikipedia Brasilian etiquette section to reflect those points of Brasilian etiquette touched upon in the recent posts in this thread?

Has anyone here witnessed a Brasilian inserting a tampon? I mean, do they use their fingers, or merely use a small napkin to hold it with? Where do the statute of limitations end?

CFK you have definitely been in the states toooo longggg - you need a trip fast! - Hemp

They usually ask me to insert it with my teeth.

CFK, if I had to spend time with you, I would probably demand an apartment too.

Cat,

I don't care how much you flatter me I am not buying you an apartment! It's not in the cards.

CFK

How about a shopping trip instead? That's what you do for the ones you just like, not the ones you're in looooooooovvvveeeeee with

Hey, in CFK's defense, it was only one apartment and it was a long time ago. I mean where did you expect her and her brazilian boyfriend to live?? duh!!! Oh yes and the ring,there was a ring,but thats all, oh I forgot the shopping trips and the american express card but that was it really...uh was there a car too?? I forget.

Cat,

perhaps on one of the trips you can go to Vila Mimosa with Jag and me and we will buy you "something"....
perhaps a herpes infested Garota so it will be the ultimate gift that keeps on giving.

CFK
[BTY, plan on dinner also, favelaburgers..]
(Message edited by copperfieldkid on January 29, 2009)

(Message edited by copperfieldkid on January 29, 2009)

Where are the herpes, and does she have an active outbreak?