Gentlemen,

I’m recovering nicely from the wounds received in yesterdays gun battle on Av Copacabana. I know you guys are concerned for my welfare but more about my injuries later. First, I want to tell you a little story about how things can get blown way out of proportion, especially here in Rio. Okay, so you already know that I was in this gun battle, but if Lucy found out that I was anywhere near it, she’d have a fit. Consequently, I planned on telling her absolutely nothing; that is until she told me her story. On her bus ride home from work they had to make a detour at Rua Santa Clara because of some police activity up ahead on Av Copacabana. The driver called his dispatcher to get some information for his passengers. The dispatcher told him there was a gun battle minutes before with four bodies in the middle of the street. As she was telling me the story, she gave me one of those looks my mom used to give me, and then she said, “ Good thing you walk home along the beach and not on Av Copacabana. See what can happen in Rio--four dead!” The tone and intent of her little discourse was to let me know that, without her help, I’m too stupid to survive in Rio on my own.

As I sat through her story, I remember thinking--I didn’t see any bodies in the street and I got there within 15 seconds of the shots being fired. Granted, running up to the shot up vehicles seconds later wasn’t exactly the smartest thing to do, so I’ll just leave that part out when I tell her what really happened. “Honey, what if I told you I saw the whole gun battle and survived to tell you all about it?” I asked. She looked at me and said, “I knew it, I knew you were near there because trouble always happens near you.” All I could say in reply was, “Huh?” That is until I came to my senses and said,”I saw most of it and there were no dead bodies. As a matter of fact, I don’t think anyone was mortally shot.” She gave me a concerned look and said, “Tell me everything.”

“Okay Honey, I was walking home and decided to walk on Av Cocabana. Within a block three bullets whizzed past my ear, I dropped to the ground with my feet facing in the direction that the bullets came from.” At this point she interrupted, asking, “Why you do that?” I sighed, looked at her like she didn’t know anything and said, “Because if more bullets came down the street and stuck me they would injure either my feet or my ass, not any vital organs, like my head.” For some odd reason she found that funny because she started giggling and told me to continue. “The were bullets flying everywhere. In other words, it was total chaos, complete with indiscriminate automatic weapons blasting away--and then the banditos opened fire!” “How many shots?” was her next question. “I don’t know, I wasn’t counting. Lets just say there were a lot.” “What happen next?”

Without another thought in my head, I continued to recount the afternoon’s event. “I ran up the street towards the shot up bus, a riddled SUV and a well ventilated Police car. I was one of the first on the scene.” As soon as those words slipped out of my mouth, I realized that I wasn’t supposed to tell her that part. Her eyes narrowed until I told her that I figured with my four years at Medical School, I could help the wounded. Luckily for me, she bought my bullshit. “What next?” “Well, I got out my camera and started taking pictures of all the bullet holes. I even got in the Police car to take a photo out through one of the five bullet hole in the windshield.” Again she interrupted with,” Did you get photo?” “Of course I did, but not exactly the shot I had hoped for. Just as I was taking the photo a Policeman grabbed me and pulled me out of the car.” “Go on my love,” Lucy cooed.

“Since I couldn’t get a photo through the bullet hole in the cop car like I planned, I decided to look for another suitable bullet hole. That’s when I saw one in the rear window of the shot up empty bus. Honey, it was perfect--a hole high up in the tinted glass. All I had to do was sneak into the open, idling bus. That would be easy because it was empty. Next, all I had to do was figure out the best camera settings, and snap away what could be an award winning photo. Sadly, within feet of getting my photo, the bus driver climbed back aboard the bus, closed the door, put it in gear, and pulled away from the scene. I yelled which startled him, then pointed at the rear door which miraculously opened.” “What next? Lucy gently asked. “I jumped off the bus right into a group of Policia Militar and CHOQUE troops who had followed the bandito one block into a church on a side street.” Confused, Lucy asked, “Which Church?” Since I didn’t know the name of it, I decided to give her an accurate description of the Church’s location, so I said, “You know, the Church behind the SEX Shop on Av Copacabana.” Without blinking an eye, she replied, “Oh yeah, I know that place.” Now, totally confused myself, I asked, “Which place, the Church or the SEX shop?” “The Church, of course! Well, maybe SEX shop, too.” Ah, isn’t Brazil fantastic?

Jag

OK, Jag. I give up. My mom has given up too.

Presumably we'll be in Rio in March together. I will sit down with you, your camera and your computer and walk you through the process of posting pictures.

My usual rates will apply

(Message edited by Bwana_dik on January 02, 2010)

Once again, I'll try to post just a few photos at a time like Mama Dik suggests.

Jag

Yo Mama, It worked!! Obrigado.

Jag

Jag,

Now we can get graphic novels from you to suppement those writing skills. Been a while, good to see you are staying safe down there.

Congratulations on the picture posts, Jag! Mom is so proud of you!

But back to the story...what actually happened? Was it a robbery gone bad? Were people shot? Or was it all just a weapons testing session for the police?

What is the over/under in Vegas for the amount of tourists murdered during the World Cup and the Olympics. Likely to be the first and last time Brazil gets to host any world event. Argentina would have been a better choice.

You obviously weren't around during the Pan Am Games. No tourists were killed and there were police everywhere.

BA would have been great, but the Argentine economy is in the shitter; they could never have pulled this off.

When was the last time you were in Rio, Blazers? Ten years ago? The place is still not the safest place in the world, but it's really changed!

You should have seen New years eve in Rio - Police everywhere. Zero tolerance. No beer vendors or vendors of any kind allowed on the beach, only on the side streets. I did not see any problems of any kind anywhere, but it sure was a pain in the ass getting a beer.

Right now the favelas close to Zona Sul are occupied by the police. There are police stops everywhere, plus the dry law from a driving perspective is being enforced quite heavily (I speak from experience, but so far have been lucky in being able to avoid them).

Based on what they are doing now, I think the efforts will be even more obvious during the World Cup and the Olympics. A couple of my friends have already commented how Rio is changing - for the safer and better.

It is obvious they are not playing....Rio will be safe during the World Cup and the Olympics one way or another.

Even outside Help and the Balcony Bar there is always a heavy police presence now.....

Brazil can put on a great show....and I feel confident that they will.

On the flip side, I wonder with all the clean-up efforts (including the closing of Help), etc, if Rio will still be the fun place it is now....it might turn into a family safe destination. Imagine that - That certainly would take away much of the appeal of Rio away for me.

Rio = Disneyland?

No worries. The changes will be mainly cosmetic. Brasil without a wild sex scene could not be Brasil. It will just be a tiny bit more discrete.

I'll take Disneyland on the street, no problems there. As long as the termas and agencies stay open and girls are still operating out of apartments I don't really care about rest. Clean up the clubs, get the favela rats off the street and I'll be happy.

I go completely the other way and hope not....I like the danger, excitement, and overall craziness of Rio. Without it, the city would lose much of its appeal to me. But I think Bwana is right, most of it will be on the surface. The police will brutally suppress problems as needed, but Rio will remain Rio (at least I hope so).

If I want safe, I go to Stockholm.

Gentlemen,

From what I've been able to learn there were several banditos being followed by the police when the gun battle erupted. Apparently no one was injured, although several store front took hits.

One of the banditos ran into the church and the cops found him praying between two old ladies. We watched him being brought out of the church by the cops on the late news that evening. He was wearing a red and black Flamango shirt.

Jag

Of course he was wearing a Flamengo shirt. Police in Rio should profile criminals by arresting anyone wearing a Flamengo jersey. Fucking thugs!

It's pretty amazing that all those cars got shot up and no one was hurt. I know the cops and banditos rarely get shot, as neither group can shoot for shit, but usually a bystander or two pays the price for the lousy marksmanship of the cops and robbers.