Alondra is hott!!!!!!!!

nogi boy,

Any word on prices for the other clubs?

The Lipstick, Cherry's, Rio group all seem to price together. I had heard at one time Lipstick and Cherry's were owned by the same person while Rio is owned by the son of the person who owns Cherry's and Lipstick.

Any word on LB or Placer's prices either?

I have spefically been avoiding Nogales for the past 3 - 4 months because of the higher prices. I have chosen to make TJ runs instead. Plus, I am saving for a big trip to Thailand. But if Lipstick has 2 for 1 Tuesday nights at $15.00, I just might make a run here soon.

I am not up to speed on any other clubs.
The lipsticks, cherry, rio clubs are owned by the same people so pricing and employees move around in sync.

I'll keep my ears open although quite frankly I do not frequent any other clubs other than Cherry's.

Chica report - Melanie (or Menalie). This chick works at Cherrie's now (at least on Saturdays). I did her a Lipstick's a while back. Saw her in Cherrie's the other day, so I figured I'd do a report on her. Menalie (I think this is right) is a little darker than usual (maybe un poco negra), long black hair (sometimes braded, I think) and has an unusual, angular face and wears lots of makeup (especially that "cat-eyes" kind of eye makeup). She's also got (unfortunately) small, hard implants (yuk...) You can spot her a mile away - her butt and boobs stick out of that hardbody so much that it's almost funny (almost...) Anyway, I got her for sexo for $50 a while back (no haggling) in Lipsticks. Did her doggie-style. If you see that ass, you will too! (hardbody - mmmmm). It was good... Nice and wet, got it all the way in, didn't mind me pounding it a little hard, moved and moaned for me, made sure I finished. If you like a good, hard doggie-style with a hardbody, round ass - this is your chica. YMMV since it's been a while since I did her (8 months ago?). Enjoy.

I went to Cherry's about 7:00 PM to survey the talent. Very nice selection that night - way better than two weeks ago. Typical, mercurial Nogales.

Got to watch a gringa chica get a lap dance. The dancer told me she was a lesbo, but apparently a lipstick one at that (implants). She seemed a little awkward and embarrassed, but I think she had a good time. Needless to say, every eyeball in the place was glued to the scene. And she got a hearty round of applause for her efforts. (No wonder she was a little nervous - much more of that and there would have been a riot!)

Anyone know the name of the tall, thin, blondish new girl. Wears kind of a translucent top, has smaller boobs (for her size). She may not be that tall, but her shoes (heels) make her seem really tall. She is kind of quiet and non-flirtatous until approached. Oh, she also has pursed (sp?) lips.
Any info appreciated greatly. ;)

Thursday, September 27, 2001
Although this is the first time I have tasted of the fruit of Mexico in Mexico and the first time I have been to Nogie in close to 15 years I’m not new to pooning or to Mexico. I have predominantly gone to Cabo and gone fishing. I live in the Phoenix area and have, over time found some great independents and some agencies that cut me a deal so I have some great experiences in the area not to mention with the exchange rate some incredible experiences in Canada. Recently I needed to go to Nogi to look at some medication prices (strictly legit stuff by the way) and thought it would fun to have some full contact table dances. That being said all I really wanted to do was a little shopping and some table dances and come home. Got over the border and was amazed at the number of guys wanting to get me every kind of drug imaginable. I stopped in the chamber of commerce and picked up a map and headed of to check out some shopping and drug prices on Obregon AVE. Then taking the advice of this board I thought I would hop over to Cherries for a couple of table dances and then hit Rio’s and Placers. Over the last couple of days I was happy to hear that there were some beauties showing up and was really only hoping to see a couple of 7-8’s, in my expectation given that on many board guys either severely over or under rate girls looks.
I walked into Cherries and there were hardly any guys (maybe 10) and probably 80% Mexican nationals who weren’t spending money. After being seated and rapidly cranking back a couple of beers notice that out of probably 12 girls there were three perfect women (10’s) and a slew of 6-8’s that with some really cute young Mexican girls. I started with a couple of table dances from the cute ones in the 8 range and tables were 8$ with all letting me roam at will for very enjoyable experiences. After about 8 beers (a friend drove so I wasn’t worried) I got three dances from the most perfect women in the joint about 5’6 B-C cup fake but perfect job with long curly hair and not a blemish with a gorgeous face and a name I couldn’t repeat if my life depended on it. She showed me what was under her G-string but didn’t want me in it unless we went to the private room. She was absolutely perfect but somewhat cool and mechanical although I explored her body and sucked her tits so no complaints. I didn’t even bother to get any of the 8’s names or even try, with a slew cute but a little thick however baby fat young ones with large tits and one or to thin ones who all gave very hot table dance performances and encouraged digital exploration. One of the other 10’s came up to me and sat in my lap. By now I had ~8 beers and ?? Tequila mmmm and the will power was leaving me. This girls spoke halfway decent English, she was 5’9 with heals I think and her hair had a weave that was blonde. Probably about a D cup (latter found out they were new within the last week. I got three table dances that were quite hot and quite intimate. She suggested a private dance $15 right now. I asked her how much for sex and she asked me what I wanted to pay and I said 40 and she agreed. I paid the guy 30$ for 2 in a row and tipped the door guy 5$. The door was hardly closed and she was already undressed I pulled a condom out and had it on with my pants around my ankles in about 10 seconds. She nudged me into the chair and hopped on ridding me for a song. We switched so she stood with her elbows on the chair and I stood for some modified doggie for about two songs. After about 15-20 minutes of solid mambo without stopping the knock came and by then we were both covered in sweat and her hair was all over the place (she had also been making allot of moaning noises in the room). After I clasped my pants up and stumbled into the close bathroom (I thought stealthily) and took about 10 minutes to get cleaned up and dried off. One of the ticket sellers came in to check on me. When I came out all of the guys were looking at me and nodding their heads in approval. My friend told me when she came out of the room she was glistening in sweat and her hair was all over and she looked totally worn out. He overheard one of the guys saying look at her she looks like she got her brains fucked out. Then I came out looking the same and when I slipped into the bathroom they all got a big kick out of how the two of us disappeared into bathrooms for 10 minutes each and both came out at the same time. She came over and asked for a drink so I shoveled out the 10 bucks and she sat in my lap for the next 15-20 minutes being more than a little playful (she was encouraging me to fondle her while we talked and she milked the meager drink). Told me she is going back to Cabo in a month and back to working at the Blue Marlin. She only works at Cherries during day and doesn’t go to any clubs after that. She told me if I wanted to take her out sometime after work before she goes to Cabo that she would like that. So much for a couple of table dances. I probably dropped a total of 150 during my time in the club and didn’t have time to check out any others. I did have a great time. By the way she said she was 19 and she was probably telling the truth. Stage name Venus and real name Fernanda? ?????? forgot the last name. We really clicked and I got a great deal of bang for the buck. By the way a number of the 8’s were willing to negotiate about price when it came to sex in the private room. Everyone the whole day was exceedingly friendly and accommodating both at the club and while shopping. All in all it was a great experience. Thanks guys for all the great info… it was most helpful.

Damn Occular

It makes my time in Cherries pedestrian.

Anyway, I had just got in to Tucson from Vegas and I'm about to go to the long term lot to get my car when my cell rings. I sat down on a row of chairs in the terminal to chat and there is a Mexican newspaer next to me. Although I cannot speak Spanish fluently I can read pretty well.

An ad in the paper had an special "promotion" for a Tucson to Nogales shuttle from Tucson or the airport to Nogie for $4 requiring a RT. So $8 to nogie and back!!!. I call and sure enough they have a shuttle leaving around 5 minutes, they told me where to stand and within a minute a fairly new van shows up with one or two people and off we go. The driver said that they have vans coming back to Tucson about every 90 minutes.

Well in no time we were there and off I went. I had checked my bag in a locker at the airport so I had only a small satchel. enough to cary my wallet/id gum condoms etc.

On my way in to Mexico I noticed that at 3:00pm there was NO one waiting at the pedestrian entrance (No line).

I saw a pharmacy that was offering a sale on viagra 100 mg for 12.00 this is good for Nogie so I bought a few.

Cherries was the only club open. I had forgotten that Lipstick and Rios are closed Mondays, and the other clubs will not open till 7-9 pm.

Cherries was almost empty. About 10 girls sitting around and about 4 paying customers including me.

Laps were $5 and VIPs were $12.

I got a few laps from some so-so looking girls. I did not see any outstanding hotties, but I figures it was early.

Then I saw this one tall slim chica with long legs and nice perky tits, DAMN She had a pretty face with her hair pulled back. She looked young and she said she was 19.

Her name was Reina and she gave one nasty lap dance. Pulling aside her G-string she started playing with herself. She took her hand and guided mine to her clit and started rubing her clit with my hand.

Well It didn't take me long to negotiate, She wanted 50, I offered $30 for BBBJ and sex. She agrreed. Marveling at my good fortune I bought 2 VIP session ($24)

I made sure we got the room at the far right, the biggest one. (I should say closet!!!).

Well I got one hell of a BBBJ she then spread those long shapely legs and motioned to me. I dove head first and spent about 10 minutes sucking on that cute panocha.

After that we slipped on the condom and went at it. At least 4 or 5 positions, with all of the appropriate noises.

I don't know what it is about Cherries. It seems every time I go in, It is real humid. It had been raining all day in Nogales and the club was cool. But in that closet we started sweating like pigs.

Anyway, I came after about 20 minutes of pounding on that pretty little peach!!

We cleaned up and made our way to the floor. I looked at my watch. we had been in that closet for 35 minutes!!!!. What a grat deal (for Nogales anyway)

I made my way back to the border and the rush (it was about 5pm) was on. The line was about 15 minutes at 5 and 30 minutes at 530.

My timing was spot on. I made the next shuttle with 5 minutes to spare and was back in Tucson at 545 and home about 30 minutes ago!!!.

After a weird week in Vegas were the girls were begging for laps and I got a pretty good handjob for about $40 at one of the clubs, I come back and get a pretty good fuck for almost the same amount.

VIVA MExico!!!

OG

Cherry's was gorditaville Sat PM, 10/20/01. Hardly a hottie in the joint. There's usually at least a couple on a Saturday night. At least I got this one waiter (older guy) to point out the hotel date candidates in the crowd. Only a couple. One was a little too gordita, but the other one wasn't too bad. I took a pass. But my waiter also pointed out the lesbians in the crowd (dancers). I got a crush on this one dancer, and everyone tells me she's a lesbo (not that it matters...) Well, she is. So is Alexa, FWIW - I knew it...

MrBillO^™--- ~ Your hapless lapdance reporter... ~

I'm in lust with Reina. Beautiful face, beautiful body, and always has a smile. Anyone know if she does hotel sessions.

justdan

Headed down to Nogi early evening (about 6:30)yesterday. Cherry's was in full swing. I felt chilled walking accross the traffic and the tracks, but left plenty warm. There was a pretty good selection of chicas at Cherry's. After a couple of Tequila shots, I went with one named Fernanda who has parading around in the most minimal outfit to show off her hour glass figure and great new rack. Id call her a 9 for her great figure and pretty face, and she sure is fun to drive.

Anyone heading down to Cherry's Thursday or Friday afternoon for a beer and chicas? I am planning to take the afternoon off and sneak down.

sf trip,

I expect to be there this fri. afternoon around 5:00. E-mail me maybe we can hook up.

justdan4u@aol.com

Justdan,

I was planning to head down at 11am and be home by 5pm...hooky from work.

Maybe next time!

Does anyone know the name of a hard body girl who has a tatoo of heart on her thigh?

NEWSFLASH! CHERRY'S NOW OPEN LATE THURS - SUN

Cherry's is now open late (3 AM) Thursday - Sunday (I believe that's what they said).

I was walking past Cherry's at about midnight last Saturday when a rent-a-barker induced me to come inside. WTF, Cherry's is still open? Sure enough. Although it's "open", there were probably five chicas and about the same number of customers. Not exactly my idea of a party...

There you have it. I wish them luck - it's going to be tough competing with the other 6 clubs in town at that hour.

MrBillO^™- ~ Your hapless lapdance reporter... ~

I was in Cherries Sunday afternoon. Very few girls were working but it was the only place open. The girls that were working there were quite good looking.

I got a dance from a girl that I believe was named Theodora. She was cute and very friendly, coming over and dropping in my lap. She gave a decent covered BJ for $30 after negotiations and came over afterwards and dropped herself in my lap for quite a while afterwards. Her English was pretty good so if you don't speak spanish and like talking to the girls, you might want to give her a shot.

There was another very attractive short, dark skinned, black haired girl there that day that I didn't get a chance to get a dance with. Extremely nice body.

The lines at the border, both car and on foot, were extremely long on Sunday afternoon both ways. They had the second gate open, right across the street from Cherries and the wait was much shorter.

One annoying thing about cherries, their walls are pretty beat up and I always manage to get the white chalk from drywall on my clothes. I'd suggest sitting away from the walls whenever possible.

LB

"There was another very attractive short, dark skinned, black haired girl there that day that I didn't get a chance to get a dance with. Extremely nice body."

Sounds like Leslie - see her thread under the Lipstick section. Better go back and see her...

MrBillO^™- ~ Your hapless lapdance reporter... ~

I'll try and do that after Christmas.

"Mexico, the real happiest place on earth!"

LB

I went to Cherry's as an afterthought-- after meeting with a friend downtown. One of the dancers there has been a friend for about a year and a half. She stays pretty busy during her work hours, so I talked to her and hung out at the bar. A couple of the girls were really friendly. During one of the times my friend was busy a flaca named Osiris starting stroking my dick and eventually french-kissing me. When my friend and I were more than friends, she asked me not to go with other dancers--- I agreed-- I've never had sex in one of the danceclubs. When I told Osiris I couldn't go with her, she redoubled her efforts--it was awesome! I kept saying no, my amiga was coming and going, and Osiris finally had to go dance. I was so hot, I ended up going to Hotel Andres with my amiga ( I hadn't had sex with her for a year-- only dinners or drinks ). She told me that she was jealous and proceeded to give me the best sex i had ever had with her--- and she has always been great! There is also a dancer--Yesmin from Acapulco--one of the hottest chicks I have ever seen in Mexico, unfortunately acts and dresses like a chola with an attitude to match--but one hot chick. Boy did I have a great couple of hours!

Mr. Bill,

I agree, wholeheartedly!! Leslie is the One. I made my maiden voyage to Nogales this past weekend with a couple of amigos and I must say that we all left agreeing that she was the best TOTAL package. There are many beautiful chica's in that town but Leslie had the body, technique, and the attitude that equaled our favorite. I had a wonderful session with her on Sat. afternoon and regretted not seeing her again before I left on Sun. I paid 50 for her and 20 for the private. She began the session with one of the better BBBJ I have had in awhile....I could go on and on about her. I really wish I could have stayed longer because it will be awhile before I get back to Nogi and it is a 5 hour drive for me so keep me posted for as long as she is around. Thanks.....
Griff

Griff,

That's a 10-4. Leslie is #1, #2 and #3 in my book!! I will always "check in on her" when I'm down there, and I'd recommend everyone else do the same! Unless you don't like your chicas oozing sex appeal from every pore...

MrBillO^™- ~ Still the king of the GFE lapdance... ~

Arrived here at about 6:00pm. Thought I was goin to meet Bluelight, dont think he showed, however I did ask one chica if she saw Santa last Fri. Got a huge reaction from this girl, Dinora and the bartender. Sounds like you were a hit dude. As far as the action, wasnt great however it turned out to be one of the better ones of the night. Fernanda, Leslie was there, Alondra wasnt there. My favorite, Reina was there, but she is kinda trippy lately. While I stand by the bar, she use to jump on me and grind (very nice) last couple times she barely says hi. Oh well, she seems to be pretty popular these days. Very guapa, imo. good for her.

NEWS FLASH!

Cherry's is no longer open 'till 3:00 AM on weekends. (Sheesh, didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that was coming...) They are open until 9:00 PM or earlier if they "feel like it".

MrBillO^™- ~ Your hapless lapdance reporter... ~

I ran in there today (in a hurry, as usual) and saw most of the "oldies" back.....Gabi, the tall (& thin) blonde...man she's hot, and some others.
I guess the vacation is over for them and time to spread them and make some mula.
There must have been 20+ girls in the joint and it was only about 4:00pm. YIKES!!
Keep me posted guys, I don't spend too much time down there anymore. :-(

20 chicas at 4:00 PM??? Like THEM odds...

MrBillO^™- ~ Your hapless lapdance reporter... ~

This afternoon it should be nuts in there, so many girls at a time. Privates were $16.00 btw, I didn't ask if it was just Thursdays but they usually keep the specials to the early part of the week.
Have at 'em guys!

I went Saturday around 6pm. There were about 15 girls, including the famous ones like Leslie, Alondra, Abigail and Fernanda (braces, hair color varies). Laps were $8 and privados #20. There were a lot of takers for laps, not too many for privates. It looks like most of the girls are back from vacation and short of dinero. A good time was had.

Saw the other Fernanda "the non-blonde" she was in rare form. Seems that Santa brought her some new larger boobies for Christmas. She was bouncin around quite abit, she enjoyed watchin herself quite alot. lol

Met Azul, she is very light skinned, wears glasses, petite with b-cups if that much. Very sexy look IMO. Anyone have any dealings with her? I asked her if she would do a hotel date with me next time I came in to town. She said she would, then I asked her if she would stay the whole night with me and she said "why not". I ofcourse am very skeptical about that but we'll see.

Again, has anyone had experience with her?

BTW She is very fluent in english, in fact she seems to like to practice alot. It was pretty funny I would talk to her in Spanish and she would respond in English. Its usually the other way around.

Oh MrBill,

almost forgot to mention. Your Leslie, she was wearing a little dress that night. Very hot looking. Was the first time I seen her in a dress. I was tempted, but I was otherwise occupied. :-)

Hey, JD. Did you read my sob story about getting stood up by Leslie until 6 AM? Sigh... I won't give up... I think she really likes me...

- LOL - !!!

MrBillO^™- ~ Your hapless lapdance reporter... ~

Hey bud,

I agree with whoever it was that said earlier that if you dont get these girls to go with you on the spot, you are probably outta luck.
Perhaps that should be a strategy we should all implement.

That was ME, dammit!!! ;-) I've been stood up by 3/6 hotel dates. Last time I got stood up, I made sure I got a couple nuts out of the way earlier just in case. The only way I'll wait on a hotel date to show is if it really doesn't matter if she shows or not. Hmmmph!!

MrBillO^™- ~ Your hapless lapdance reporter... ~

oh ya, she really likes you, oh ya

MrBill, getting stood up is bad. I know that feeling. But having the girl just disappear at the beginning of her shift is worse. You spend the rest of the night looking for her, wondering what became of her, wishing you would of acted quicker? No moving on to the next girl or to sleep@6am. At least being stood up has closure - she doesn't want your money!

Bluelight - if you make it down to Nogie again soon, set your sights on Fernanda (the one w/braces - brunette, formerly blonde). She'll do ya right. Get her before her Cherry's shift is over so you can meet between her Cherry's and Lipstick shifts. She told me she'd meet me in 5 minutes, and she was on the spot in 4:59. And one hour = one hour with her, too. Show her a good time and you'll have a sure thing in the bag.

MrBillO^™- ~ Your hapless lapdance reporter... ~

Arrived here around 5:30 at the same time as a police truck arrives. A guy at the front door would not let me in cuz there was some kinda a trouble inside. The dude was icing his lower lip, then about 10 minutes later about 10-15 policia came out of the bar. No one cuffed no blood stained shirts so I dont know what was goin on.

This was one of the worse chica selections at Cherries I had ever seen. No Reina, Azul, Leslie, the only ones that I was interested in was Abigail and Alondra. I wish I had spent some time with Abigail, I am very intrigued with that big ole booty.

I got a table dance with Alondra, for the most part it was ok. She let my hands wander wherever I wanted, but...... there was a point when she had her ass on my chest, and I have to be honest, as disgusting as it is to think about it, man, I took a whiff and damn, it was nasty. Ugggghhhh, It was an immediate turn off.....She then asked me if I wanted a private. Uhhh, I dont think so.

On Sunday afternoon it was really slow. Only 5-6 girls there and not too many guys. Got a TB from Leonaura (sp?). She does the "take off your shirt routine" which can a lot of fun. Nice tits and a great smile. But what I was really interested in was getting a private from the girl with the big ass tits. She wasn't there on Sunday boo hoo. I think here name is Alondra or something like that. Oh well, maybe next time.

Alondra was there Sat. afternoon, looking great..I think she had a make over or something, plus, it looks like she lost 12-15 pounds...Got a table and privite from her...Sexy as ever....

I am continuously impressed with Cherry's lately. 5PM Saturday the place was packed - with Hombres and many very pretty ladies. Regular hotties in attendance included Fernanda, Abigail, Alondra and others.

They are advertizing 8-minute VIP's, which sounds like a bargain. Getting a couple and making sure they stick to 16 minutes sounds like a plan. Even MrBill can cum w/in 16 minutes!

MrBillO^™- ~ Your hapless lapdance reporter... ~

What time is Cherry's openning on Saturdays? It seems to change regularly. My kitchen pass window is very short:-)

One of the chicas told me she starts working at Cherry's at 2PM, so I guess it's safe to assume it opens at 2PM or earlier - maybe 1PM?

MrBillO^™- ~ Your hapless lapdance reporter... ~

Did anyone figure out what happened to our "MIA" on Saturday? Hope he had fun where ever he went.

Lord Blackrose

Am thinking about a trip down to Nogie for some early evening action this Tuesday. Will there be some chicas around at the usual spots or should I wait till Thursday? I do like it when it is not too crowded, I think the chicas get a little hungrier. Also, does anyone have an opinion on which Mexican beach resort is good for mongering?
Want to maybe go late spring (off season) and play some golf...maybe a chica can carry my bag From the posts here it sounds like, Mazatlan might be okay but some of the posts are not recent. Or maybe just pick up a local girl at the clubs in Puerto Vallarta or Cabo?? Thanks for all the info from the veterans here and I will try to write a Nogie report when I get back.

Early week specials are no more. VIP's $16.00, Laps $6.00.
I'll be at Cherry's or Rio's early this afternoon. I'll report what's what soon.

How the hell did I get here?

Its funny, all I had planned was to meet up with a buddy for a Spring Training game in Tempe.

So we got to the game it cost $4.00 to get in, and $7.00 fuckin dollars for a large beer. Unbelievable. So anyway me and my bud will be hittin TJ in the very near future and ofcourse we started to talk about it. This will be his 4th trip and my 7th. So after spending $14.00 on four beers we come up with a novel idea. NOGI!!!!!

Arrived at Cherries around 5:30. Several of the regulars are there: Alondra, Dinora, Abigail, another slightly older blonde, Leslie, (btw Leslie looked very good that night) a couple of others whose name I dont know. There was one new girl there, has a very nice body and pretty cute, says she is 19 years old. Well little did I know, I already knew this girl.

She goes by the name Camela, she use to work at Placers, first as a mesera then as a dancer. Her real name is Esmeralda and later when she started dancing she started calling herself Saraya. So anyway I am walkin to the bathroom and one of the waiters whistles at me as I am goin in, I figure he is tryin to get someone elses attention so I take care of my business and come back out. When I walk past her again she grabs my hand and asks me if I remember her. So we chat a bit I sit with her and buy her a beer and a dance from her.

The table dance from her is pretty nice. I got full access to all the good stuff. She doesnt asks me to do a private, the dance is actually pretty long, by Cherries M.O. Where they dance for you half a song then ask you if you want to go to a private, and if you tell them no or not right now they give you about 30 seconds more and then they are gone. The only thing was them ticket sellers were just sitting there waiting like damn scavengers. I think they were both tryin to get a look at her cuz this was her first nite there.

I asked her if she was workin anywhere else tonite and she told me she was goin to try Lipstiks. I told her I would look for her later in the night.

How much is hotel date for an hour and is it worth it

Stlee4 - it's not a off the shelf item. It can be anywhere from Roberto-like free to Saturday night-Monserat you can't afford it period. My suggestion would be to try the 1 hour room at Placers or Lord Blacks first. I think the going
rate is $200 an hour includes the girl of your choice. Just thinking about it, I can't think of anyone that got a good hotel date from a girl that hadn't spent big bucks on her first in the club. Roberto excluded of course. But I've only been going for a year or so.

Hey guys,

looks like everyone was in Nogi this past weekend except for me Does anyone know if any of these girls were working? Hera, Daniela, Camela, or Reina? These are all Cherries favorites of mine. I really have the urge to get back, if any of my girls are there.

thx for the replys

jd

Hey, JD.

I haven't been to Cherry's in a couple months. The only one of those chicas I know is Daniela - she was there a couple months ago, but said she was going to work in Rocky Point for a while, so I'm not sure if she's back yet. Lots of girls were MIA last weekend, so you might wait a couple weeks for them to return.

MrBillO^™- ~ Your hapless lapdance reporter... ~