Teazers is located in downtown Montreal, on Crescent Street across from the Quality Inn Downtown.

What follows is an experience I had at this place, in the form of an excerpt from my trip report. I may take some flak for the way I handled the situation, but so be it. I think the info needs to be shared.

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I stuffed about $70 into my pocket, leaving the rest of my money hidden in the room. The only restaurant open at that hour was a nearby Burger King, so I wolfed down some grease-laden fast food. I headed back out into the cold, and entered Teasers. It looked like a bit of a dive from the outside, but I soon found out the interior wasn't bad. There was a coat check, then nearby, there were stairs going up. I handed my coat to the girl at the desk, who hit me up for a $5 cover charge. (remember, all money amounts here are Canadian)

I went upstairs, and was immediately greeted by a bouncer. He said hello and asked for a tip. Damn, I thought... but I handed him a twenty-dollar bill and asked for $18 change. He gave me nine of those Canadian two-dollar coins, and told me, "These are good for tipping the dancers." I was beginning to get the picture.

The place was reasonably nice... dimly lit, with a dance floor in the center. There was an upper, elevated section toward the rear, where the main bar was located. Most of the patrons were professional-type men. There was a girl performing on the stage, wearing nothing but the bottom half of a thong bikini. There were a number of girls circulating amongst the guys, and a few of them were knockouts. In many ways, it reminded me of Chicago Club in Tijuana, only smaller and less crowded. And of course, you couldn't expect more than booth dancing from the girls.

I ordered a Coke from the bar, which set me back another $6. The bartender was a young girl who had on a slinky dress which revealed much cleavage. I reached into my pocket and handed her a $1 tip. She pouted at me, trying to extract more. This place is more aggressive in soliciting tips from customers than any business establishment I've ever patronized in my life.

I leaned against the rail surrounding the bar area and watched the dancer rub herself against the pole. But not for long. A tall, attractive girl with a medium complexion, short black hair, and large brown eyes slid up next to me. She introduced herself as Bianca. "Want me to show you a good time?" she asked in perfect, nearly unaccented English.

Well, she had me... I continue to be a sucker for the quick ambush approach. Before I knew it, we were in a private booth about four feet on each side, with five-foot high walls that were painted dark gray.

Bianca had a great body, and she allowed total access to everything but the immediate crotch area. Into the third song, she even relaxed that restriction a bit, pulling aside the thong to expose her bush, and allowing me a brief touch, which went above and beyond the rules of the house. I watched her as she slid all over my lap and lip-synched the words to Madonna's "Justify My Love".

I was so captivated, I nearly lost track of the time spent in the booth. At the end of the fourth song, I suddenly stopped her, realizing my funds were limited. I knew I had the required $40, but I was sure I'd be counting up the spare coins to come up with it. And she wasn't getting much of a tip.

"How much?" I asked her, as a matter of routine. She replied, "So far... eighty dollars." EIGHTY?? I stepped back incredulously. "But there were four songs... I counted them!"

"Eight songs," she said, pointing at the sign on the wall. "And it's ten dollars a song."

Stunned, I told her I didn't have eighty on me, and in any case, I shouldn't have to pay more than forty. She pointed at a nearby ATM. "Use your card and get the money," I declined, telling her that my ATM card was up in my hotel room across the street. And actually, that was the truth. I asked to speak with the manager.

Bianca's demeanor instantly changed from sultry to icy. Instead of getting the manager, she flagged down a bouncer... a large, hulking guy, much bigger than yours truly. This situation was spiraling out of control, and as much as I'd like to say I kept it cool, figuratively speaking, I felt like bricks of gargantuan proportions were about to come slamming out of the lower terminus of my alimentary canal.

It turned out, though, that the bouncer she grabbed was the same guy I had tipped earlier. I immediately told him that I didn't want any trouble, and offered to pay the whole $80 if I could go back to my hotel room and get the remainder. He agreed to accompany me, to satisfy Bianca's concerns. What concerns? She was hitting me up for twice the amount I owed!

While walking across the street with the bouncer, I reiterated that Bianca overcharged me. He said that he didn't doubt my story, but since it was my word against hers, it could cost me quite a bit of time to fight this one. He did allow that, "from time to time, the girls do try to overcharge out-of-town visitors." Guess I stuck out like a sore thumb in that regard. He suggested that next time, I should consider paying the girls after every two or three songs, to prevent that kind of scam. That's probably a pretty good idea.

The bouncer was somewhat sympathetic to my plight, and I guess I should be grateful for that. I made it plenty obvious that I wanted no trouble. But I wonder what would have happened if I had refused to ante up the extra $40.

He offered to wait outside the room while I retrieved the money; which was a considerate gesture, but it still made me nervous that he knew where my room was. I handed over the money, and he invited me to come back to the club. There was no way I was going back there, so I declined that offer.

Yes, I could have handled that situation differently, and I might have if it had occurred in TJ or another place I knew fairly well. I wish I hadn't paid Bianca the extra amount, because it meant that her scam worked. But I also look at it this way. I was in a largely unfamiliar locale, wasn't familiar with the local customs, and when you get right down to it, it just wasn't worth it to haggle over $40 (which is about $25 US) under those circumstances. I chalk it up to experience, and consider it a lesson learned at a low price.

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In spite of this experience, I hesitate to slam the place, for a few reasons: it's spoken of highly on a couple of other sites, you can probably chalk up much of what happened to my newbie-ness, some of the girls are quite hot, and the bouncer did manage to smooth the whole situation over, though I'm not sure what his motivations were.

Guys who frequent these types of places might fare all right in here... but be advised, the prices are high, and they push for tips like you wouldn't believe.

And, if you run into a short-haired, tall, English-speaking brunette named Bianca... AVOID HER!

Farsider,
You did the right thing by paying the whole amount. Its not a good idea to get into money arguments, especially when you are alone.

Next time, count the songs and pay frequently as the bouncer suggested!

Yep. I was in unknown territory and not armed with a whole lot of local knowledge, so it's better to fork over a few bucks and consider it an inexpensive lesson learned.