I haven’t been to Medellin since 2009, and an old friend of mine that is currently in the military stationed in Afghanistan has been asking me to go with him for a while. We worked out the dates to match his leave time and a third friend joined us as well. I’d say we’re not your typical mongers because we’re all in our early 30’s, but on this trip I ran into quite a few younger mongers, including a group of 6-8 Asians walking around Poblado wearing shorts… A word to the wise: don’t wear shorts in Medellin, it just makes you stick out like a sore thumb even more than you already do.

I typically befriend a few random Americans in Medellin, but on this trip I wasn’t thrilled with the quality of gringo I came across at the usual spots. There was a 6’3 guy in his late 50’s-early 60’s with wavy hair that looked like a soap opera cast off roaming Centro and Mayorista, but he didn’t seem very friendly. My last night in Mayorista I ran into a group of 3 Americans: a black dude in his 50’s looking to fuck that asian-looking rail thin girl that Cubanut told me was horrible (I was going to warn him but decided against it), a white dude in his 50’s that looked like a former California beach bum, and a chubby guy in his 50’s or 60’s wearing a khaki fishing vest that was a dead ringer for celebrity Wilford Brimley. I was going to tell him how much I loved the movie “Cocoon,” but that’s neither here nor there.

Where am I getting with these descriptions? Oh yeah, Medellin is starting to look like San Jose, Costa Rica in terms of the “gringo clientele.” What two-three years ago was a crowd of more adventurous guys in their late 30’s and early 40’s has turned into a Del Ray type late 50’s and early 60’s crowd. Where have all the cowboys gone?

What more can be said about Medellin that the 5000 reports all over the internet haven’t said already? Since my motto is “sharing is caring,” I’m more than happy to update everyone with the current mongering climate in the area.

I should probably add that I’m comfortable enough in Medellin to give the taxi drivers directions and to be able to verbalize directions to certain casas/strip clubs without having the address right in front of me. Oh yeah, and I don’t really speak Spanish, but I speak fluent hooker.

For the sake of this report, we’ll call my friends the Cuban and the Mexican, because one is Cuban and one is Mexican.

I don’t really speak Spanish, but I speak fluent hooker. - LOVE IT...BEST LINE I HAVE HEARD IN A WHILE!!!